OBSSESSED W/BEING UGLY?READ THIS!

[100hz]

I think being ugly is ok as long as you dont look 'disgusting'

they say John Howard is ugly they say Bush (I'm not talking politics here so if you like Bush I'm sorry I've said this) is ugly but they are still successful in their careers. the looking doesnt seem to bother them much

depends on your standard

to me the majority of the ppl in my school look good. at least therez no 'disgusting' ones

being disgustingly ugly like me like when we have classes the others keep looking at me and talk behind my back does make an issue

so I said to myself I must not marry I must not have kids coz my kids vill look like me. I ahve to think like this coz no one will ever marry me anyway.

so everytime when my firends talk about relationships and stuff I wouldnt talk Id pretend I dont care pretend to be a deadwood but inside I'm really depressed

[100hz]

forgot to say this:

I know this forum is for females (or is it not? I cant be bothered spending time figuring this out I got homework to do)

anyway with all the words above I've typed here I jsut wanna let ppl know that the looking thing is not only a female thing. ugliness is a problem to men as well (I mean the real ugliness)

[Guest]

i'm not sure but i think i might be in the early stages of BDD. Since I was about 10 i have thought it was fat and ugly, and over the past couple of years it's got worse. I was bullied a bit in secondary school , not by anyone in particular but general snide comments here and there about my hair colour (ginger, oh the joy). I think that that's knocked my confidence, because now I spend all my time looking at my friends and how pretty they are and how ugly i am, and i also wish that i could look like celebrities like keira knightley or emma watson. I wish i knew the secret of being pretty, no one has ever called me pretty to my face (apart from my mam and she has to, it's like the law or something) and it's really getting me down.

I don't want to go to the doctors though or have counselling because to be honest, i don't belive this is psychological, i think i simply am ugly, and to be honest i don't see about talking about my "feelings" will make me any prettier, that's just boll*cks in my opinion.

[victoryrose18]

After reading this I feel as though I've experienced certain things. I don't know if I have BDD, but I can say that there are times where I do feel disgusting. I can't figure myself out really. When I look good, I feel great. I know I'm a good looking girl. I hear it all the time. However, the compliments I receive don't seem to stick. Someone can go on and on about all the great qualities about me, yet I focus on the negative. I check mirrors or any reflective surface constantly. My mom has noticed it and even pointed it out. When I go out in public I like to present myself in the best way I can. Sometimes when I get dressed up and know I look nice, I have this feeling overcome me that I can't really describe. It's kind of like feeling disgusted or like you shouldn't be dressed up? I don't understand it. I rip myself apart over the stupidest things that no one has ever noticed besides me. That shows I shouldn't care so much, but I often still worry. I was made fun of from elementary school up until maybe 10th grade in high school. My life then was hell and I remember spending my lunch and study halls in the bathroom because I was so scared of being picked on. I changed a lot about myself and feel I look incredible compared to years ago. I just wish that my confidence would have grown too.


I think past experiences have a lot to do with how one looks at themself. My mother is the same as she was since I was little. She still freaks out when her hair doesn't turn out "right." And by that I mean she will swear, cut herself down and bring up suicide. After growing up ith that, I think it may have worn off of me to be so critical of myself. What I don't comprehend is that if I'm aware of this then why can't I control it???

[just another guest]

Just read ur huge post and I found out I have BDD... its AMAZING how close ur post was to my behaviour... but it's not just that... i get comments from RANDOM PEOPLE and FAMILY members telling me im unatractive... so how am i supposed to ignore them? Im 20 and male, and i do all those things.. like right now i wear a beanie hat 24/7 to cover up my hair and forehead. I hate looking in mirrors. I hate it when i get nasty comments. I can't help but feel depressed, and look at everyone elses pictures as they are good pictures... and seeing my friends get hooked up and married and im left here still searching..... i sound pathetic but its just how i feel.

JUst like someone said earlier you can get "treated" for this but it isn't going to change your appearance, i will still get the occasional comments from strangers and it will kill me for the next few months... why me...

[rebel-carpenter]

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[Guest]

hiya.came across this and its quite interesting. Not everyone can be stunning in high school and not many people are, kids are cruel and they are selfish and immature. When i was in high school i was always aware that i would one day be gorgeous and that i was just slim and didn't have big boobs...which in school makes you popular..well all the girls in school with big boobs are now fat i'm still v.slim and i love being me i cherish the way i look and now that this i was always an attractive person just i hadn't grown into a woman yet. I used to be paranoid in school about my appearance because im a perfectionist and longed to look the way i wanted to look. I would look in the mirror for hours on end daily and think of ways to enhance my appearance, i'd idolize beautiful people and had a strong idea of what makes someone attractive...i was unhappy in school with my looks even though i was nice looking. I think if you are unhappy about your hair colour/style or skin colour i.e your very pale or you have spots or whatever you should change it! lifes too short to worry so much. Attractiveness is all about confidence as is popularity...i think that confidence comes with age too. I'm 23 and i am very attractive i love designer clothes and getting my hair/nails /expensive fake tan (don't want wrinkles! hehe) etc done. I mean proper designer clothes from harvey nics and selfridges and mywardrobe.com i spend an absolute fortune on them, too much...i worry myself but i am happy. I'm a fashion illustrator and am obsessed with fashion/looks/appearance and i have a great eye for detail. Turn your "problem" into your making....except who you are..maybe your abit vain..maybe you secretly love yourself..fabulous who cares! As long as you have friends and a social life, a career and a kind personality being vain can be very fun and rewarding

[Guest]

I DONT HAVE BDD PEOPLE ARE LYING TO MEEEEEEEEE

[Skullie]

Ahhh, I'm exactly the same like that with my hair and positioning thing

On days I've been in hysterics, locked myself in the bathroom in floods of tears and refused to go to school because my fringe won't sit right.

I've also been hours late for school because I suspected my hair was that little bit greasy and had to wash it.

And if I can't sit in a certain position (facing the person front-on, my head down slightly and on a bit of an angle, and my hand fisted under my chin so I don't look like I have a turkey neck) then I just won't sit at all, I'll leave the room so to avoid being made a fool of.

I also used to take scissors and cut out freckles and blemishes to make myself look more symertrical, although now I'm just left with scars.

Sometimes, as much as I'm ashamed to admit it, I'll start self harming because of how much I despise myself, and I do, I hate myself. My family and friends always pick on and make fun of me because of how 'obsessed' I am with my appearance, and it just makes me feel even worse because I feel so alone and ugly.

However I'll force myself to the extremes to make sure that I act and come across as confident yet modest, coz I know guys like that

Hopefully though this'll end when I leave home, and I can get plastic surgery on my throat... I hear that they cut strips off your chin and tighten it around your neck so that it defines your jawline more. Which is what I really want... My saggy jawline is what's stopping me from looking pretty and I hate it. I've tried everything, exercised, starving myself to try and lose weight, drinking tons and tons and tons of water, using a belt to strap it up in the night to try and reduce it (just ended up in my not being able to breathe though). But nothing works !

I don't think it's an actual mental problem though, it's probably just me being cautious because I AM actually ugly, and I hate when anyone dares try to tell me otherwise because I know, they don't, end of.

[Mack]

I have lost a considerable amount of weight approx 40 lbs, still need to lose another 20 or so because I was quite heavy. The problem I have now is before when I was very obese, I was completed ignored and dealt with it as a weight only issue. So I took the time to exercise to try to get some of my body back in shape. Now I have the saggys but I do look better in my clothes.

Now that I have lost weight, men will see me from behind and from a profile with my long, dark flowing hair, but once they see my actual face they turn as if they have just seen some kind of hideous beast of something. It can be very frustrating since I would prefer to just be ignored without the horrible, insensitive looks that are directed my way.

[soho]

While I know that many victims afflicted with BDD aren't truly ugly (just obsessed with a tiny flaw that they overreact about), I'm slightly irked that nobody has addressed an issue several posters have mentioned.

Specifically, what if you TRULY are ugly, and are constantly treated as such? Let us suppose, hypothetically, that your face would be deemed ugly by most of the population if they simply saw you on the streets.

What if random strangers and passerbys will just tell you that you're ugly? Note that this is a very rude/mean thing to do, and most people wouldn't do it randomly for kicks. Sometimes it slips accidentally, or you just overhear it.

What if this fact is constantly reinforced by close family members -- trying to be helpful perhaps, but just a little too honest?

What if you can catch the expression on people's faces (waiters, store clerks, bank tellers) change to one of thinly veiled disgust when they see you?

What if you have done everything in your power to improve your looks -- including exercise, wearing flattering clothing, make-up, hair -- but nothing can hide your unfortunate genes?

I experience nearly every symptom of BDD, with the exception that my standards are NEVER "inconsistent." I know precisely what is ugly about my face (as different people have CONSISTENTLY pointed out) and I've never changed my mind. Everyday is a "bad" day; I don't go from thinking my nose is big one day, then small the next day. (I know that it is impossibly huge, as many people have said so.)

What then, hmmm? How can you "cure" your disease when it others create it FOR you, when you are constantly reminded of your ugliness?

What can you do when the problem isn't entirely psychological, but at least partially real?

I have tried being confident, and to be fair, I do have intelligence and talent on my side. But for a woman, it almost seems as if these traits make you LESS desirable to certain men. I have tried everything... I have a gorgeous body, and I take great care of myself. I have impeccable hygiene, nice hair, and I wear flattering make-up. Many men have whistled at me from behind, only to look disgusted when I'd turn around. (Not that I would go for a shallow guy anyway; I do have standards. But that just makes my situation even tougher, since guys are intimidated by my intelligence because I excel at the things they do.)

It has torn my self-confidence to shreds, to the point that when people DO tell me I'm attractive, I think they must be crazy or lying.

I have tried everything, and it is no use. What is the point of being born with a high IQ, and talent to boot, if it only causes more pain? My ugliness will follow me to the grave.


[/b]

[alphxy]

I am a 15 year old girl and I have BDD... in fact it's uncanny how closely that resembles me. So now I know that I have BDD but I am convinced that I may have BDD but am still ugly.... if that's the case then I know that even if im ugly then... well it shouldn't really matter too much and I should live my life to the fullest anyway.... which I can't do. Being beautiful is a constant need.. a goal that can't be achieved.
I find myself constantly thinking that... if I'm ever beautiful.. if I ever feel sure of being beautiful... my life will start and I'll be able to do all that I've ever wanted to do... which is wrong because of course im wasting my life trying to attain that goal and even if I truly wish it... I can never be beautiful.

[alphxy]

And to respond to the comment by soho.

I completely agree... I am intelligent and I have talent. I know that.. (I don't go around telling it to people.. in fact I deny any such thing because when I come face to face with someone i'm always convinced that I am the stupidest person in the world and I have no real talent) but I want to be loved. I too have standards but well... I want to be with a boy I like and I want that boy to like me back... but they never will because they are too good for me.
And when I do like a boy then I begin to look forward to seeing them but I almost avoid them because I'm afraid they'll find out I like them and be completely repulsed by the idea. Which is silly of course because if I avoid them then of course they'll never like me but I have no confidence to face them