Affairs

[JoWalsh]

Six months ago I met a wondeful man, we talk loads about book, films everything he is unlike any man I have ever met and we both feel so comfortable together.

The problem is he is getting married next month, he wont break it off for fear of upsetting others is his mum and dad and says that he is 33 years old and this is what is socially accepted from him. We never want to leave each other when were together and we are so clicky its untrue.

I have told no one besides my parents as I dont want people to thinks its a dirty affair. I have never felt like this about anyone in my life and cannot let him make this mistake.
To make things even worse their marital home is five mins away from my house which he thinks will be good for us

Help

[justjayn]

I hate to say it but if he is still going to marry next month then its obvious his feelings do not lie with you but with his future wife!

To make things even worse their marital home is five mins away from my house which he thinks will be good for us

No... good for him because he can call round and use you whenever he wants!!!

I apologise if all that sounds harsh, but i really think he is using you.

[Salli]

Jo, jayn may be right, but he may also feel he can't get out of his wedding. If he is really unsure this would he such a major mistake. If he's got a good mate get him to talk to him, if he's religeous get him to talk to a priest or someone like that. You should split with him if he gets married.

[Tom]

He sounds weak to me. Sorry. But if he cares for his fiancee as he should he would not even entertain the thought of being with you. The sort of man who blames his parents for his plans to go ahead with the wedding is not the sort of man a girl needs. In fact, sorry again, it is not the actions of a man at all. He isn't yet a man, He's a boy who hasn't matured, and at 33 he's unlikely to get there now.

If he can put his new wife in such a position of him having an affair with you, he does not care for her feelings or her future. He is not protective. He is exploititive. That marriage would be doomed. And you? If he can promise himself to her with such a lax attitude and carelessness for her, do you think his promises to you will be more valued, mature and binding?? In my experience, not the chance of a polythene dog in hell.

I am so sorry for you, Jo, for falling for such a one as this.