mogadishu wrote:Yes, foxes jump through my bedroom window and I talk to cats!
And Britain is beset by floods!
Do you know what this means?
It means God wants me to build an arc and save the world (again)!
Sounds like you and your God have it all solved.. Wowzers!.. and Great!...
I wish you good luck in your post world adventure...
...So, What wood you gonna use for the building materials for your crazy boat?..
Are you bring two Arabs, and two Americans, as well..?
Maybe it would be best just to leave-out the Arabs and and the Americans,.. so we won't have anymore wars here... d'yah think?..
The whole world is "beset by floods"... Widen your perception to the whole globe.. to see that everyone is getting floods...
It means that we damaged this planet real bad, real fast... We might have even killed it... It's just that it takes some time for a living planet to sigh its last dying gasp...
Great!.. "foxes in dreams".. and "you talk to a cat"...
Does the cat answer back?..
I'm talking "teach English to a critter"... straight-up...
It's easy... All you need, is full eye contact for the duration of the lesson... which means that you have established that the critter is greater than you.. for the critter to be able to look into your eyes for a steady ten minutes.. is the only way anyone can even begin to teach an animal to speak English...
Easy!.. Now that you have solid eye contact.. You speak the word "ay", and telepath a mental pix of a "A" into the critter's head... and repeat "ay"...
Then say "ah", and telepath an "a".. and say it again...
Then you move on to "Bee"... Say it, telepath it, say it again...
Then "buh"...
"Cee", and "couh"... "Dee" and "duhe"... "Eee" and "eh"...
It's a bit of a lesson to run through for the teacher.. All that switching from verbal to telepathy.. takes its toll on you.. but when ist finally done... smile and bow, in absolute dignity, love, and politeness, to the critter... Regulate stare to just touch the outer of the critter's eyes.. then five units into its vision... then teach it how letters fit together to form words...
Say "ah".. then "bu".. then "ab".. Combine them to say "ah, bu, couh".. "abcouh"...
Pick small words that can easily be set into a mental pix... "tuh, rrrr, eee, eee.. tree".. then send a mental pix of a tree.. then repeat "tree"... Then send a mental pix of the word "tree", and repeat "tree"...
It's a Bitch to go all the way to zee, but it's worth it...
HaH!.. lots uh luck with trying to make pix of "u, w, x, y, & zee"...
And it's best not to make the "rrrrrr" sound like a growl... especially if the critter is much bigger than you.. and drooling profusely...
Run through at least one hundred words which fit in that animal's circle... then be silent, and give 'er a rest... And when the animal has digested the lesson.. if it wants to, it now has the ability to communicate with you in rough English... And if you are real real lucky, it might one-day even sing to you in its language mixed with your language.. Brand new sounds for the planet... and you both will grow so Much that day, that you gonna think maybe you are "risin' up into your old heaven" theory... But it's only you talkin' to critters.. it nothing to do with their silly "heaven" thingy.. it's all gone anyways... the ape-class people dismantled our heaven on earth, and used the building materials to build hell on earth.. So.. what's the use in your arc anyway..? You'll only be coming back to a dead planet, that can't even support the life of a single hardy beetle...
Maybe it best you forget about boat building.. too many slivers anyway..
Just relax in yourself, and enjoy your moments in talking with the critters, and having some fun while there still is life on your bones...
If I didn't need to work to eat I might be spending a lot of time in the woods, teachin' my fuzzy friends to speak English, so they can cuss at the hunters, and tell them, "get the hell out of our forest!"...
The toughest part of teaching speech to a critter, is to establish and maintain unwavering eye contact, by establishing that you are the animal's subordinate for the duration of the lesson... If you haven't established that, it won't work...
The critter's eyes will forever be trying to not look at you... it will learn nothing, see nothing, hear nothing, say nothing...
So.. Would you detail your lovely friendly critters dreams..?
including: your memories of the colors, textures, emotions, temperatures, and your senses stimulation, whilst the dream was running...
Can you replay a dream, like you were "going to the movies"..? like you are in the movie...
Are you up-to teaching your cat English?..
I can just see it now... You've just entered your home, after a grueling day.. You flop down in an easy chair... The cat raises its head off the rug, and says, "A little cream, would be nice right now!.. And howzabout a nice scratch on my f'in itchy-ass while your at it.. prrrrtttmeooow!"...
by mogadishu on Fri Jun 08, 2007 6:13 pm 
