I can't get over my ex-girlfriend

[CDK]

My girlfriend of 2 years, recently broke up with me. I found out later that she had been cheating on me. This was very out of character for her and I think it had a lot to do with the fact that I had to move for my job. We are trying to stay friends and we both agree that if we are going to work out then it will happen in the long run. Im sure she is dating the other guy now.

My situation is, I have decided to cut back on talking to her. I think that I am only hurting the sitution by trying to stay in her life. I'm hoping that down the road things will work out. I fell in love with this girl almost ten years ago and really do think she is the one.

The advice I need is how should I play things for now. How would I know if she still has feelings for me and if we have a chance? How should I go about getting her back? Should I talk to her when she calls?

Being cheated on sucks.

[Felicias]

i have tried so hard in this relationship to the extent that i nearly commited suicide and considered murdering her for raping me of my life.

I find this more worrisome, than her cheating.

[JeremiahSteele]

I recentley broke up with my girl for a second time. She means the world to me but she doesn't seem to see that. She has a moderate case of O.C.D. and it effects her decision making process. Unfortunately she gets stressed so badly that when it finally reaches a boiling point she says "I think we should break up." My heart is so very broken right now. I find myself unable to pick up the pieces. I try to maintain a positive attitude in public and around my friends. The problem with this is that I work in a video store and I have to deal with the public on a daily basis. Meaning I have to see her. She rents from there all the time and I've seen her about three times since the breakup 6 days ago. I can't even be In the same room as her and I can't very well hide from her at work. I don't drink and recently I drank an entire bottle of Irish Mist. Whiskey. Go figure. I'm disgusted at myself over this action. Especially since my grandfather was a severe alchoholic. I don't want to repeat history. I'm not a religious person and a couple of my friends are trying to cram it down my throat. I know they want to help me. But they know I have Issues with the church. (goth kid who wouldn't hurt a fly. much less a person. very judgemental people in theses churches.) She knew my past history with my other two girlfriends and promised she'd never hurt me the way they did. But as mom always said promises and pie crust are one in the same. Very easily broken. I'm surrounding myself with friends and doing everything in my power to get over this but it seems like this Isn't working. As much as I'd like to I can't take her back. She's too indecisive and way too immature. I'm 23 she's 18. I normally date girls my age but I made an exception for her. Now I feel like it's 9 months down the drain. Can anyone help me?

[nettechrog]

Well,
After reading a few of these heartbreak stories, I really sat back and did a bit of thinking. In my situation my girlfriend and I were living together for 2 years. We bought a house together and were going to have a baby. The baby didn't survive past 5 1/2 mnths into pregnancy and it really killed her. I hid my emotions and didn't want to hurt in front of her to keep strong for her. She has an 11 year old daughter who looks up to me as her dad. I have a 15 year old son who is a troubled kid from the get go and didn't care for my girlfriend. I was never physical in the relationship but had anger issues and said hurtful words to her. Alot of stresses were happening with her ex and court issues and my son leaving because he didn't want to live in the same house. We split up 2 days before Valentines Feb 12 205 and It didn't hit me until a few days later what I had done. I have had relationships in the past and have moved on and found another. This one stopped my heart. I really knew I loved her and didn't know until she had left. She is seeing a guy from the city who only comes down 1 or 2 times a month on weekends. We have been getting closer as I have changed, I have taken anger management, read books and looked deep into myself to understand why I would get angry at the stupidest things. All through the last 5 mnth I have not been angry or said hurtful words. I don't ever want to go back to the way I expressed myself again. We have been intimate for a while and do spend alot of time together. We e-mail constantly with each other, she phones me 2 times a day and I call and text message her all the time. When the other guy comes down for the day she disconnects from me until he leaves and then we hook up again. She said she is falling in love again with me and likes who I haved changed to be. She is scared it might go back to the way it was and I accept that but I want to be happy and not ever be the guy who took her for granted. I cherish the little things more now and I say the sweet things I feel for her. I am just afraid she may be waiting to get more time from the other guy and move on and leave me in the dust. I have a girl that I started dating a bit with but only because I lack the attention from my ex girlfriend. She won't stay overnight and won't allow me to be there at her place. She does visit me and we do make love at the housewe both lived in. She is confused as I am but i told her I would give up the other friend in a heartbeat if I knew she wanted to focus on us only. She just recently left for a four day holiday and was with him. Saying she wanted to get her head straight. Yeah right! but right after she has been with me steady. She asks questions about the girl I am friends with all the time and I mention to her that she is the one I want to be with. I only want a second chance to be the man I know I am and will always be. It took a dramatic situation to realize where I went wrong and knew I could change for the better.
I love her and her daughter loves me like I was her own father.
Am I wasting my time, or do you think she may be sincere about things? She does make suggestions about getting together. We are going golfing today. (but I also told her that the other girl was on holidays for a week and wanted to spend time with me). SHe is worried I may sell my house and move in with the other woman.
I am 39 years old my ex is 40. so were no strangers to heartbreaks..
She also said she never wanted to lose me???
am I just her security blanket?
I have lost 30lbs and I am a fit and athletic person. 6'1" and.
Lost with love( I opened my heart totally without the walls going up).
It hurts to be away from her and when I am with someone else I think of her.

thanks for listening

[JeremiahSteele]

It's barley been a week since the breakup and I saw her at the carnival with another man. I obviously mean nothing to her. I feel myself growing cold and distant and it scares me. What should I do? I'm so angry that I could scream right now and so sad that I could curl up into a ball and just cry until I'm out of tears. She meant everything to me and to her I'm worthless. Turns out I dated a tramp for 9 months. She told me she loved me. She lied. Now my heart's been torn out all over again.

[sy]

omg i so cannot beleive people could just do that to someone that cared for them so much!!!! it is extremely ungreatful and ignorant. dont worry, what goes around comes around. Ive been in your position b4. It is extremely hard to get over and it takes alot of mental strain and torture to become sane again. I think you do something before you end up comitting suicide from severe depression

[shootermcgavin]

Look man, I know you cant see it see it right now but you will get through this. You have just started out your life and will have lots of broken hearts after this one. This one will just be the hardest because its your first and you have to find your personal way to deal with pain. I thought I would die when my first love left me.. It was a pain that I never want to experience again.. I can tell from the way you perceive the break up that you want her more because you cant have her. If anyone here knows about women and breakups its me.. I'm married to a Playboy Playmate, I have dated exotic women than most men ever see in thier lifetime.. But the ones that meant the most to me didn't have model beauty, but they were the most beautiful because we loved each other... OK ,,IF YOU WANT TO GET OVER HER YOU WILL DO EXACTLY WHAT I SAY.. YOU NEED TO F*** IT OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM.. HAVE AS MUCH SEX WITH HOTTIES AS YOU CAN..KEEP YOURSELF BUSY TEARING UP PUSSY..
That been said, Its ok to get laid but be honest and dont lie to get girls to sleep with you. The reason why just about any women I've ever met ,,,married or not ,, would sleep with me, is because I am always honest and treat people with respect.. If all you want is sex and your honest about it , it will come to you.

[JeremiahSteele]

The thing is, In high school I used to sleep around...alot. That changed when one of my sisters got diagnosed with AIDS. I don't do it anymore. To be quite honest, right now I'm searching for more than just a sexual relationship. The girl who broke my heart was a friend before she was a lover. I guess I was just in denial about the maturity deal. . I really am not the type who can just sleep around. I've found that one night stands are too risky. My nephew. My 3 year old little buddy is a product of a one night stand. My sister finally found the guy and did patetrnity testing. That was one hell of an ordeal with her. And guess what? They both used protection. I found that self gratification is so much safer. But I crave a woman's touch and a woman's affection. I just want a meaningful relationship. I'm not in denial about just wanting sex.. I want more than that. However I'm not judging anyone here. Trust me the forum is a big help right now. Thanks to everyone who took the time to read my psots and give me advice or share their stories. It takes courage to do so.

[manny2381]

hello everyone ive been reading some of your messeages and i am happy to see that i am not the ony one that feels this way. my ex g/f and i dated for 5yrs and lived together for 2 of those yrs . i did everything that i could do in my power to make happy.all that i would get in return is lies.the beginng of the end started 6months ago when she had emitted to useing crystal meth to lose weight right under my nose.i had noticed the difference but just lived in denale about it. i was shocked to hear that she would have done something like that because she grow up watching that drug screw up her brothers lives. from that point our relationship just wasn't the same. i could no longer trust her and felt that i just didn't know her anymore but out of love for her i tried to coop with it. then a month ago she tells me that she is getting a ride from a friend that works with her. everthing about it just seemed fishy to me' thing was i know the guy she said was giving her the ride. as soon as she walked out the door i called him and asked if he was at my gate.he tells me that he didn't have any idea what i was talking about .so i run down stairs to catch her at the gate. i confront her on why she is lying to me again and she has no excuse. i notice that a car is waitting for her on the side i ask her what all that is about and she still has no excuse. the car belongs to this 19yr old kid that would sometimes come by and smoke weed with her. iam even more shocked now i tell her that i gave her 5 yrs of my life to live me for a 19yr old. thats the last time that her and i would ever be in our apartment again together. couple days go by and we finnally meet in person to discuss what is happing to us. she gives me this bogus excuse that she needs to find herself and that she needs to stop meking other people happy and make herself happy. i tell hr thanks for letting me know this was comming and we have not seen eachother since. we spoke 2 weeks ago but the conversation was meanningless. yesterday my prayers were answered a frined of a frined saw her at a taco shop with this 19 yr and they were holding hands . i call and cofront her but of course she has no explanation other than they were just getting a bite to eat . but now i feel that i have closure in a why because she has been full of it for a while and now she is no longer my problem and to have a nice lfe with her 19yr old.

[burning_desire]

I know this is becoming a cliche on this site, but reading some of the posts that others have left really does help! I know i'm not the only one with a broken heart.

I had been going out with my girlfriend for nearly two years and everything was going fantastically well we were in love and I like a fool thought she would never, ever leave me as she loved me far too much. As I found out this was not the case, although I have learnt one of the hardest lessons of life ... never take your women for granted.

I first met her when I was 18 at this house where everybody used to gather. At first we never used to talk much and besides I had my eye on another girl who I had know for a while. As time went by a begun talking to her quite regulary and found out from a friend that she was interested in me. After constant texting too each other we finally shared our first kiss in a club one night and took it from there.

At first I didn't love her and sometimes thought too myself she was not the one for me and even told her I would never marry her and things like that (although I did used to tell her quite often I love you). But gradually I fell deeply in love with her and actually thought, Yeah you know I really love this girl.

After a brilliant year and a half we began not seeing each other as much (usually she was there very night or I was at hers) at first I didnt click on, then I realised that the nights of staying up all night with friends and just leaving her to fall asleep were catching up on me and she was beginning to think that I did not do enough to keep her attention.

I love her more now than ever before and one night just before we were about to have sex it hit me that she really couldnt be bothered as she gave a sigh (you know the signals) and we had an arguement and I broke her mobile phone so she started throwing things at me and I just left.

We had a week break and I wasn't that bothered because I thought we were just having a time out. We got back together after this for a couple of days but it didnt feel the same and she said she was not going to chase me anymore and that she didnt really love me her words were "It has just fizzled out"

I love her so much and have told her this but she just says, it's over. The
second week after this happened it hit me hard and I couldnt think of anything but her and began drinking everyday just to forget about it (I dont normally drink that much). I didnt drink for a couple of days and then one day went a complete bender because i was so low and ended up at her house at 1.30 in the morning. After knocking her up and giving a feeble excuse "I cant get in my house I have lost the key" she just said get on the couch I'm going to bed, I tried talking to her and really wanted to hold her but she just told me to shut up and get on the couch.

I want her back so badly and can see where I have gone wrong and really would like to have a chance to prove to her that I love her more than anyone ever could. I have rang her every now and again and txted her with some reply's but she just doesnt seem bothered. HOW CAN SHE LOVE ME SO MUCH ONE MINUTE AND NOT EVEN GIVE A S**T THE NEXT???

Does she want me to chase her or would giving it time bring us back together??? Any advice would be wonderful

[Eihwaz]

Hello guys.

1st. I want to apopgize for getting in here, but you seem to be the ones who can helpme.

2nd. Burning, I recomend give your gf a little time to calm down (maybe a week or something). Then try to apologize honestly. She will apreciate it, but I cant tellyou what her answer will be. Just be calm, maybe she got so nervious or felt hurt for some razon. You need to talk to her and clear this issue, but she need to be calm too or this will just not work. If you feel like fighting again, please just calm down and calm her. If fight again you will ruin it.

3rd. I came here to ask you guys for a help. Im really really worry about my relationship with my bf. The thing is that he has live a very same issue as you guys. He is in deep love with his exgf, he always thought she was the one and gave everything for her, but she left him and got another bf. That ofcourse hurt him so much and he cant get over it. Me and my bf meet just by accident, and we noticed how compatible we are. None of us was looking for a relationship but we worked so fine togheter that we decided to be lovers. I got to love him so much and everything is fine, except that he cant stop to remember his exgf, sometimes he even compare me with her, that hurtme so much, but I understand that he love her a lot. But Im so afraid that one of this days, she come back for him.

Tellme please, any of you guys. If you got a new gf, who you love and really apreciate, you think she is so nice and make you feel a lot better, but then your exgf come back saying that she still loves you, that she regrets leave you and ask you to take care of her... will you take her back and forget about your current gf ??

Please. Can I get some of your sincere answers ??

Just think how much you love your exgf, what will happens if she want to come back but you already got another gf ??

Thankyou so much for your time. I really need an answer because she already called him and she looks in trouble. I saw how worry was him about her, but I cant do nothing but let him go. Please be true and tellme what to expect.

[Orange Crush]

Reading all of these posts helped me out and let me know i'm not alone but i'm sorry to say I have a story to share as well. My gf and I were going out for 7 years and we've been apart the last 3 because she moved away to college. I try to visit her once ever month or so but it's hard. She has been having family issues and school is stressfull for her so she wanted to take a "break". She came home for the summer and decided to end it. I was quite shocked because we got along great and never broke up before. She said she still loves me but she feels we grew apart even though I talked to her just about everyday on the phone and visited her when I could. It's been a few weeks and I don't know what to do about it. I know she's not currently seeing anyone else but I don't want to keep calling her and tell her my feelings because she doesn't feel the same way. I want to get back with her but I don't know what to do. I'm not sure if there's anyting I can do. The saying is true, "you don't know what you got till it's gone"

[LinkinParkRules]

Heres what happened. There was this girl. Im 13 remember. Male. I always used to talk with her. Always was friends, never had an love feelings with her. During the last week of school befor graduating, i started feeling something. Now she has graduated, I dont no her number, screen name or anything. Ive been feeling really empty. At random times, if something realtes to her i feel s big hole in my sole. I didnt find anything fun for a while. While playing baseball my favorite sport, I didnt even feel like playing. I couldnt belive I wouldnt see her anymore. I would just think about her. No one else new about it and I couldnt tell anyone. Im starting to get over it. (about 3 weeks) but is this normal?

[Eihwaz]

Orange Crush, I think she decided to end it for the same reason you and her cant be close as much as she need. I mean, like me and my bf are so so far, I have wish so many times he where here with me to share a moment or just to kiss him, but it just cant be.
Maybe for you is more easy but it is not enough for her. You can talk to her, settle things, let her know that you will be still waiting for her, but she is free to do what she need anyway. I mean, wont you preffer her to be happy ?? Maybe all what she need is a break. But dont lose contact with her, and avoid push her to come back to you. Let things happen, allow her to finish college, and when she is back for vacation or something, invite her to go with you to some places she like and have fun. Let her know how valuable you are and that she still have your support. But in the end, she is the one who have to decide.

One more thing, she is not the only girl who can fall in love with you. You have the right to try, but try too hard will only hurt yourself.

[Orange Crush]

Thanks for the help Eihwaz. I havent talked to her for a few days now. I'm just going to give her some space and see what happens. I was thinking of sending her some flowers or something at the end of the week.