by Bobin » Sat Mar 29, 2008 2:44 am
Dear Global Warming Scientists,
Thank you for being very concerned about our environment, especially when it comes to global warming. I'm sure you have studied this extensively and your conclusions are based on the latest scientific research. There are a few things, however, that I am unclear about. I have tried to understand, but there are a few loose ends that need to be tied up. Perhaps you can explain them to me.
Greenhouse gas emissions, like carbon dioxide, are blamed for global warming. This is supposed to be causing the polar ice and glaciers to melt and raise sea levels. People breathe in oxygen and breathe out carbon dioxide. Maybe people are talking too much. People also breathe a lot more when having sex, making more carbon dioxide. It would seem that, according to your logic, that sex would be a contributor to global warming too. I bet you're afraid to propose that theory If you did, no one will like you.
The ground in Miami, Florida is made of "coral rock" (as it is called by the locals), which are old coral beds. I've been there on vacation, and saw it myself. Coral grows under water. Miami is above sea level. Does this mean South Florida was once under water? If so, where did the extra water come from? If not, how did the coral get on land? Is there an ancient type of coral with legs? Could an amphibious dinosaur moved the coral on to land? I'm not sure how the coral could have been moved from the ocean to land. I'm not an expert, but it sure seems to me that Miami was once underwater. Please explain.
Gogo fish fossils have been found in the rocky outcrops of Australia which were once a coral reef according to really smart people. How did the fossils get there? Was Austrailia once underwater like Miami was, or did someone move the fossils? If they were moved from the sea to the land, how was that done? It must have been really hard to move the coral and the fish fossils without breaking them. Is there such a thing as a submersible front-end loader?
A Trilobite is an extinct marine animal that once roamed the sea floor. Trilobite fossils are found in The United States, Russia, Canada, Europe, China, and many other countries. School children learn all about these fossils, and even get to see and touch them. How cool is that ?!?! In the United States, one of the places they are found is Missouri. Missouri is pretty far inland, according to my map. I checked the Google map, and Missouri is in the same place as my map, so it hasn't moved too much recently. Does this mean that Missouri was once the sea floor? Could a really super high tide washed them there? Or, it could have been the submersible front end loader again. You know, it is not nice to fool the children.
I am told glaciers have formed sometime in the past, over a long period of time. It must have been a while ago, since not much about glacier formation is in the news these days, Snow and ice fell, and did not melt, but accumulated over time, and formed glaciers. I read that on Wikipedia. Makes me sound smart, eh? If the ice built up over time, where did the water come from? Did global cooling cause the coast line to recede and the water formed the glaciers? Where else would the water have come from? I am not an expert, but maybe, just maybe, the water in the glaciers used to be covering Miami and Austrailia. How do you cause global cooling anyway? Perhaps the prehistoric people did not burn enough trees so greenhouse gasses fell to unacceptably low levels. The prehistoric people must have been a lot smarter than us to figure out how to cool the Earth off. What did their government do to prevent global cooling and preserve the environment for future generations?
They now say the polar ice caps on Mars are melting. Are greenhouse gasses on Mars causing this? Maybe they are redhouse gasses, since Mars is called the red planet. Do you think the exploration vehicles we sent to Mars are causing the ice caps to melt? Or, maybe it's the Sun, like the Russian scientists say it is. Americans and Russians are sort of like enemies who pretent to be friends, so Americans would never agree with them on anything because that would be admitting the Russian scientists are smarter. Even I can figure that out.
I am waiting eagerly for your explanations. I'm sure, that when I read them, it will all make perfect sense. Thank you so very much for answering these questions and setting the story straight. Please feel free to use big words and use math equations with lots of Greek letters. I have lots of degees after my name too, so I'm sure I'd understand them.
By the way, I have ruled out the submersible front-end loader. I called the local Caterpillar dealer, and the manager assured me they do not manufacture one. For some reason, he also use the word psychiatrist like it is a bad thing. I haven't checked Hitachi yet. If the Japanese have one, maybe they are keeping it a secret.
Sincerely,
Me