WHY WONT HE MARRY ME?

by **BinFL** » Sun Jul 17, 2005 4:44 pm

http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/board/about29412-0-asc-0.html

by **Jetta** » Sun Jul 17, 2005 8:52 pm

Looks like you had a lot of responses. I'm wondering why you would consider having a baby with a man who isn't ready to be married to you. You're giving him the married life without being married. Not a good idea.

by **BinFL** » Sun Jul 17, 2005 10:19 pm

Just to be clear, I'm not the one trying to have a baby.

I just posted a link to that forum here, because it almost seemed more fitting here than the "wedding" forum. Thought we could get more advice.

Thanks

by **k9trainingbiz** » Mon Jul 18, 2005 5:23 am

Just an aside to all the girls who currently "play house" with a partner who won't marry them, did you ever hear the saying "why buy the cow when the milk's free"?. You have already given him the married life, not to mention financial help (in most cases) with no strings. What would be the motivation? If he wanted to marry you he would at least get engaged (with ring and date set), no excuses. After all, if you're good enough to live with as married people, you're good enough to marry, right?

by **STEVE5OO** » Mon Jul 18, 2005 3:15 pm

k9trainingbiz wrote:Just an aside to all the girls who currently "play house" with a partner who won't marry them, did you ever hear the saying "why buy the cow when the milk's free"?. You have already given him the married life, not to mention financial help (in most cases) with no strings. What would be the motivation? If he wanted to marry you he would at least get engaged (with ring and date set), no excuses. After all, if you're good enough to live with as married people, you're good enough to marry, right?

Kudos K9

by **Littlemiss12** » Mon Jul 18, 2005 8:06 pm

k9trainingbiz wrote:Just an aside to all the girls who currently "play house" with a partner who won't marry them, did you ever hear the saying "why buy the cow when the milk's free"?. You have already given him the married life, not to mention financial help (in most cases) with no strings. What would be the motivation? If he wanted to marry you he would at least get engaged (with ring and date set), no excuses. After all, if you're good enough to live with as married people, you're good enough to marry, right?

I totaly agree with this my fella still doesnt want to get engaged and im begining to wonder if wel ever get engaged as hes already living with me so thats probably as far as itl go but it does get you down feels like they dont love u as much as they say but i spose im the stupid one for putting up anyway enought of me aving a moan

by **BinFL** » Mon Jul 18, 2005 8:20 pm

k9trainingbiz wrote:Just an aside to all the girls who currently "play house" with a partner who won't marry them, did you ever hear the saying "why buy the cow when the milk's free"?. You have already given him the married life, not to mention financial help (in most cases) with no strings. What would be the motivation? If he wanted to marry you he would at least get engaged (with ring and date set), no excuses. After all, if you're good enough to live with as married people, you're good enough to marry, right?

No argument there... bout time for this cow to be set out to pasture...greener or not!!

by **k9trainingbiz** » Mon Jul 18, 2005 9:29 pm

Interestingly, I just heard on the news today a new study concluded that couple who marry and did live together first are actually TWICE as likely to divorce. I knew it was higher, but I didn't know it was that much!

by **niki22** » Mon Jul 18, 2005 9:38 pm

Yeah I've heard this too, but why? The only reason I can come up with is couples live together, see that it's not working out, yet get married anyway.

I just can't see why else living together makes your "chances for divorce" so much higher.

by **k9trainingbiz** » Mon Jul 18, 2005 10:06 pm

Well, I'm certainly no Phd in this matter!

My hunch is that you are right about that. So many couples having a bad time think if they get married, things will change (the women think this usually), and they don't. Stats also show after they get married, the problems become much worse. Probably because now they feel trapped (usually the men). I also believe that the men who finally give in to her wish to be married when it isn't something that was all important to him, resent her. Maybe it's because they take a more laid back view of sharing a life with someone they love. It's usually more of a convenience than a commitment, IMO. (I've been there, too, I'm not being snotty).

My personal feeling about it is that if he was really really seriously in love with the girl, he would at least be engaged to her. If it's "just a piece of paper", then what's the big deal about signing it? If you know, it's not that hard. That just says to me she's good enough to help around the house, sleep with and hang out with, but not serious lifetime material and it's an easy out.

by **Stifter** » Sun Jul 24, 2005 11:49 am

Come on girls, neither of you know the guy so I don't believe the doomsday scenarios are reasonable.

I'm probably a hopeless romantic who dreams about marrying my fantastic GF - and will do so the second we find a way to match my work with her university education - but I also have lots of friends whose love are just as deep but do not share my dreams about marriage.

I just don't think that make them lesser souls worthy of public chastis'ing!

Btw, we've been invited to a wedding at the end of August. These two fantastic people have been in love since 7th grade about 15 years ago, and I think they've had a fantastic unmarried life so far!

by **k9trainingbiz** » Sun Jul 24, 2005 1:40 pm

If a couple chooses not to get married, and it's a mutual choice, then that's great! But the person who started this thread was talking about SHE wants to marry and he doesn't/won't. That is a totally different scenario than what you're talking about. We are also talking about people who live together just like married couples, but the guy won't commit; doesn't have an interest in getting married. We don't have to "know" the guy personally; if we did, no one could ever comment on these threads!!!! It's a discussion. No one is getting "publicily chastized" here.

by **leoktty** » Tue Sep 06, 2005 4:46 pm

error....

by **Pia** » Tue Sep 06, 2005 5:40 pm

Some people don't like along engagement. You both already talked about getting married. I would not be too worried if I were you.

by **k9trainingbiz** » Tue Sep 06, 2005 9:07 pm

I'm sorry to break it to ya, but he doesn't want to marry you. He has a wife already, why would he want strings? (other than the one he uses to keep you) He gets a maid, a cook and a lay. what could be better?

That's what happens when you move in and play house with no commitment. Living together is not a commitment.

How long should you wait? Do you have eternity?

WHY WONT HE MARRY ME?

WHY WONT HE MARRY ME?

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