I'm really hoping that somebody, somewhere might be able to give me some advice concerning a "relationship" situation I'm in...
I've been friendly with this guy for well over a year. We met _, and after meeting have persued a friendship which has grown in strength. At first I wasn't attracted to him in a sexual way, but that developed as I got to know him more. I said as much to him when we'd known each other and had been hanging out regularly for about 4 months. He explained he just wanted to be friends, that he considered me a good person, but that he didn't know what he wanted from a woman. I thought this was fair enough and appreciated his honesty, so I put to the back of my mind the urges I felt for him and consequently our friendhip continued to gain momentum. Back in october, I approached him again about my feelings of attraction towards him. I explained I wasn't looking to be in a relationship with him but that "i'm a girl, you're a boy, so why don't we....". I basically suggested that we could put and end to our celibate lives!
So, we embarked upon a sexual relationship. Everything is and was fine with that.
I have much, much respect for this guy. He is the best friend I have ever had. He endlessly shows me support and encourages and motivates me, I enjoy any time I spend with him, regardless of what we do. He understands my outlook on life where others have failed, and assures me He's comfoted by the fact I can understand his outlook. We're very similar in that we've both suffered at various times with depression and anxiety, and for both of us anxiety has been fuelled by bad encounters with the opposite sex in the past.
He's undergoing therapy at the moment and has been for a number of months and I can see vast improvements in the way he deals with life and interacts with the world around him. It's even brought a new level of understanding and respect between us. I myself underwent therapy a number of years back and it helped me to do the same.
I know that at this time, there is no way that he is ready for a relationship, despite the fact he wants it so much. I also know that he does find me attractive and easy to get on with. I also know that I could fall for him, if I let myself.
What I don't know is if despite finding me attractive and getting on with me whether he considers me as his "type" but I can't outright ask him...If I did alarm bells would ring that I want something more from him, which at this time, maybe I do? Maybe I don't...thats where you guys come in...I'm not certain whether to let things remain as they are, but to put thoughts of it progressing to something more out of my mind, or if I should consider that we're on the road to something else? I can live with either, but I need to know how to go forward from this point because at the moment I'm stuck and the anxiety is kicking in!
I'd really welcome some input on this.
Thanks for "listening"
