by Bouncy on Sun Apr 27, 2008 9:29 pm
What is it you want more, a marriage or a good relationship?
I have a friend who recently just split up with a woman that was pressuring him into marriage. She said her biological clock was ticking, she wanted to get married and have kids and the whole nine yards. While he cared for her, she had this issue of being in $20,000+ debt and only told him about this in the past 4 or 5 months. They'd been in a relationship for 5 years. Any thought of marriage and kids meant that HE would be responsible for her debt should she have to take time off in the immediate future to bare and raise the children.
Long story short, she told him that if he didn't propose, it was the end of the relationship and she'd be out within weeks looking for a replacement. That's precisely what happened.
To her it was the marriage, the kids, the home, the white picket fence that was important to her. It wasn't the relationship the two of them shared as she wouldn't have been so eager to find a replacement if it were.
If this guy you're with is feeding into your insecurities and loss of self esteem now, it's only going to continue. A marriage proposal won't change that. It may make you feel better for a little while, but then you'll wonder if he just proposed out of obligation because he told a friend he would. Is that what you want? Really? Learn to be happy with yourself and what it is that you have to offer before committing to anyone else in your life.
you are both right.
