My son wants a perm

[The Colonel]

It doesn't fit in with his aristocratic view of "appropriate behavior" for his sons, although being gay is perfectly acceptable. Go figure.

How one dresses and what one is are two separate things.

I couldn't agree with you more, Colonel. How I dress has nothing whatsoever to do with my gender preference. Neither does the way I (or anyone else, for that matter) wear my hair!!

Not homophobic. Can't understand why YOU are so cross-dress-a-phobic, and yet so open-minded with respect to gender preference.

It's not gender preference - it is sexual orientation.

I am not "cross-dress-a-phobic". I do not understand it, and as long as it is in private then I don't have issue with it. I do not think it is appropriate.

As a matter of fact, I have let my children (primarily my eldest two) choose what some would regard as inappropriate or radical hairstyles. They have had the spikey versions, shaven and highlights etc. In this respect (though I don't always personally like it) I have been very accepting and accomodating of individuality - I bet a lot more than most parents. But as for perms - that crosses the line.

My parents on the other hand are vocal in their disapproval of such things. If I had done a fraction of what my kids have done with their hair my father would have given me a good beating for being "a queer" (in his eyes that is).

I don't think I am being unfair.

Also, don't be so quick to make a judgment about me on my social class. I do believe names should be appropriate - you disagree. But that is lifelong and is a good bit different.

[The Colonel]

Colenel,
I wouldn't go that far. Your telling me earings are better? A perm is gone in 3 months or so, the holes from earings could last a lifetime. What is your reasoning for a boy not getting a perm?

I think earrings are better. They are more socially acceptable for boys. As I've mentioned before, my 18 year old has his left ear pierced and my 16 year old has both his ears pierced. Most of their friends do - all of similar backgrounds.

Again, another example of how accomodating I am.

[Guest]

The boy is 14 and has gotten his perm. The original poster posted both here and on the pareting forum. Here is a link to the post on the parenting forum that gives the latest update.

http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/board/about83194.html

Whatever.

No boy gets a perm.

If no boy gets a perm, what do you call a 14 year old person with a penis who has a perm?

[The Colonel]

The boy is 14 and has gotten his perm. The original poster posted both here and on the pareting forum. Here is a link to the post on the parenting forum that gives the latest update.

http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/board/about83194.html

Whatever.

No boy gets a perm.

If no boy gets a perm, what do you call a 14 year old person with a penis who has a perm?

A female that has had one stuck on?

[Guest]

Colonel, You're an idiot! So tell me, earings, piercings, highlighting etc are not feminine or non-approved, but perms are? I'd like to hear the reasoning behind this one.

[The Colonel]

Colonel, You're an idiot! So tell me, earings, piercings, highlighting etc are not feminine or non-approved, but perms are? I'd like to hear the reasoning behind this one.

two words:

Social norms.

[Guest]

IM A BOY AND I WANT A PERM ALSO BUT MY SISTER IN LAW SAID ONLY GIRLS GET PERMS IM CONFUSED IM PRETTY SHORE BOYS GET THEM TO SO SHOULD I GET ONE?

[Carin]

I had my first perm at 13 as I was pushe by my parents to cut my very straight and not well cared of hair or have it done "like the girls".
I had it permed in large soft curls that reached to the shoulderblades. I liked loved it and I had no problem at shool (of course a few comments but mostly possitive)
Afterwards I have kept my hair long and still have a perm every 6-8 week
You should definitely let your son have a perm

[The Colonel]

Rubbish. No parent treats a child like another gender. If they do they are guilty of child abuse.

I'll expect a police complaint to be issued against your parents if this is true.

[Carin]

Rubbish. No parent treats a child like another gender. If they do they are guilty of child abuse.

I'll expect a police complaint to be issued against your parents if this is true.

I think and believe that you are rubbish and fake when looking at your previous comments to posts

[The Colonel]

Rubbish. No parent treats a child like another gender. If they do they are guilty of child abuse.

I'll expect a police complaint to be issued against your parents if this is true.

I think and believe that you are rubbish and fake when looking at your previous comments to posts

Of course Louise P/alex170170/Julie H/Jenna3.

You don't like it when you get caught out do you?

You are too predictable! You always say the same thing. Not very clever are you?

[Guest]

Rubbish. No parent treats a child like another gender. If they do they are guilty of child abuse.

I'll expect a police complaint to be issued against your parents if this is true.

I think and believe that you are rubbish and fake when looking at your previous comments to posts

Of course Louise P/alex170170/Julie H/Jenna3.

You don't like it when you get caught out do you?

You are too predictable! You always say the same thing. Not very clever are you?

No more predictable than your criticism of anyone who disagrees with you Colonel.

[The Colonel]

Rubbish. No parent treats a child like another gender. If they do they are guilty of child abuse.

I'll expect a police complaint to be issued against your parents if this is true.

I think and believe that you are rubbish and fake when looking at your previous comments to posts

Of course Louise P/alex170170/Julie H/Jenna3.

You don't like it when you get caught out do you?

You are too predictable! You always say the same thing. Not very clever are you?

No more predictable than your criticism of anyone who disagrees with you Colonel.

I am happy to disagree. But this is just nonsense.

[jdelgar]

My son was 14 when one of his friends was permed by his Mom for a wedding. The boy was to be an usher. He had dirty blond thin hair his mom wanted him to look nice since he would be in the wedding photos. He looked terrific and got a lot of compliments and a few negative comment, mostly from old ladies. But the boy discovered that girls loved the look and were anxious to talk to him about the experince. Soem boys teaed him but some also asked questions about how did it feel and so forth. My son started asking roundabout questions about boys and perm etc.... We did not tease him and when his Mom suggested that maybe he might want to see what he would look like in curls he agreed to let us set her hair. I had attend hairdressing school and cut the family's hair and colored and permed his Mom, 20 year ol girl cousin who lived with us while going to college and his sister.

To make a long story short the next time i cut his hair I also set it and the result was greaat; he looked really 'cool in curls'. So for a while he got his hair set about every 6 weeks. Everytime he appeared in curls he got compliment and very little teasing as his buddy, the one with the perm, also had curly hair.

So for the holidays he agreed to let me perm his hair and it came out great. He continued to get permed as well as sets now and then until he graduated rom high school and went into the service.

Hair is hair and straight or curly on males or females it doesn't matter.

Have we forgotten the 70's and eighties already?

[northlondoner]

Yes but do you want him to look like David James?