by daystrom on Sun Aug 31, 2008 1:52 am
Well my advice is this. Ask him why he feels he is not ready. Find out what it is that is giving him hesitation. There is certainly nothing wrong with taking this decision very seriously as it appears that he is doing. At the end of the day, another human life is involved here. That being said, discuss the matter more with him. It is quite clear that there is something that is keeping him from moving forward with this right now in his life, so find out what that is and explore it, discuss it and determine if his reason(s) for hesitation are justified. You (and he) may discover that they are not and he may come around.
With regard to the age thing, its really not a factor. 38 is certainly not too old to have a baby and you will still only be 25, very young. My girl and I are in a similar situation, she in her early 20s and me early 30s and we just recently started trying for a child, although I am sorry to say that she miscarried. But I digress. So yeah, my advice is to talk about it, communication. Get this out in the open and isolate his concerns. Talk about them, and more importantly, listen to him and respect his concerns on the matter. If they are things that you feel that you can assuage, then by all means do so. You both may find that after talking this out you will be ready to try and have kids now, but again, maybe not, and if he is still not willing to budge on the matter just yet, do not give up all hope. 5 years is a long time and much can change. He may have a complete turn around in another year or so, depending on what his reasons for waiting are (I could speculate from a guys perspective and throw out some possible reasons, but I really would rather not).
In any event, I wish you the best of luck with all of this. As I said, talk to him, its the best advice that I can come up with. Good luck, I wish you well.
regards,
Ray
<--Why I must get out of bed.
<--Why I wish to remain in bed.
