What the hell is going on

[Michelle123]

I've been with my fella for 2 years, we waited 1 month before we had sex then after that we were going crazy having it everytime I stayed over and we used to do it all day Sunday at least 5/6 times, now we live together and over the past 2/3 months I find myself turning him down alot. Not becuase i'm going off him I certainly am not but sometimes I wanna just lay on settee watchin tv or just cuddle n chat, i'm not fridged I love sex and when we do do it its great but he's going on and on about it and i dont want him to worry that the sex has gone from our relationship but at the same time I dont want to go through with it just to please him, we still do it at least 3 times a week, if he was to back off for just 5 mins then maybe I would be more in the mood. I cant even kiss him without him trying to entyce me upstairs withing seconds - any thoughts people

ps sorry its long winded

[Bouncy]

Explain to him that you prefer quality, not quantity.

[Fred75]

I've been with my fella for 2 years, we waited 1 month before we had sex then after that we were going crazy having it everytime I stayed over and we used to do it all day Sunday at least 5/6 times, now we live together and over the past 2/3 months I find myself turning him down alot. Not becuase i'm going off him I certainly am not but sometimes I wanna just lay on settee watchin tv or just cuddle n chat, i'm not fridged I love sex and when we do do it its great but he's going on and on about it and i dont want him to worry that the sex has gone from our relationship but at the same time I dont want to go through with it just to please him, we still do it at least 3 times a week, if he was to back off for just 5 mins then maybe I would be more in the mood. I cant even kiss him without him trying to entyce me upstairs withing seconds - any thoughts people

Ya.
Quit being an unpaid HO.
Other guys see you and think less of you for giving yourself away to a guy that hasn't bothered to commit to you.

[Michelle123]

haha unpaid ho? did you not read the question, I HAVE BEEN WITH HIM FOR 2 YEARS AND WE LIVE TOGETHER, he's actually an amaizing guywho treats me fantastic, also if you'd of read the question propperly you would have noticed we didn't have sex for the first month WHAT HO DOES THAT, you talk absolute shite. I asked this question on Yahoo Answers and hot a much more mature response from many that answerd

[74jax]

If you post a question, you've got to be prepared for people's differing opinions. Fred's meaning you're living together but he hasn't committed to you. Also you mention you've posted here and on Yahoo, so you must have had a varied response and know you can't pick and choose your answers to suit what you want to hear.
Not having sex for 4 weeks isn't showing you waited for a commitment, just that you waited 'a bit'. I don't agree with Fred's comments but understand his opinion.
I'd discuss it with your partner, sex drives alter for a variety of reasons and may go back to how they were and may not. But I'd def sit down when you're both relaxed and just bring up the subject.

[Fred75]

haha unpaid ho? did you not read the question, I HAVE BEEN WITH HIM FOR 2 YEARS AND WE LIVE TOGETHER, he's actually an amaizing guywho treats me fantastic,

We treat all unpaid HO's fantastic.
We get into your pants for no commitment.
And since were just shacking up with you and have no commitment... well.. we find it much easier to leave you.

Who says there no free milk from a cow.

[MaxtheGaul]

...I find myself turning him down alot. Not becuase i'm going off him I certainly am not ...I love sex and when we do do it its great but he's going on and on about it and i dont want him to worry that the sex has gone from our relationship but at the same time I dont want to go through with it just to please him.

I think your last comment says it all. You are starting to use sex selfishly for what you want. It's not always easy, but the best balance is if you are always up for it when he wants you, and he recognises that you sometimes need other things. Then you're both giving instead of taking.

[Captain]

I don't think a person should have sex unless they are into it

[Michelle123]

Fred please stop talking you dont have a clue what you on about are you 12 or something?????

Theres is a hell of a lot of commitment he askes me to bloody marry him every weekend and he's constantly telling me he loves he is not a user we have sex at least 4/5 times a week so its not like he's sex starved I am not selfish but sometimes I woudl like a break especially if its during tohe week and i'm tired

[MaxtheGaul]

I don't think a person should have sex unless they are into it

I don't agree, that's selfish. If your partner realises you're tired then he/she is selfish to push for it, but get the balance the right way round.

[Qwynn]

Maybe you need to tell him that it would be better if he didn't push so hard each time, maybe say "ask me again in five minutes." He seems to be having a hard time sensing how you feel if he keeps asking over and over. Sex should be something fun but as with anything that requires two people there's going to be some negotiation involved.

I find "selfish" a problematic word because it has negative associations. Really you need to present your side persuasively and this might seem selfish but it's in the best interest of both persons to act for their own needs and come to an agreement that takes into account both persons' needs.

Just ignore those who feel the need to call you names and impose their ideology upon you. Remember everything is negotiable.

[alh]

These things happen everyone goes at it like bunnies at the beginning of a relationship but theres only so long u can keep it up! Hormones change n u can go on n off sex anyway
u should explain 2 him that ur just not want it all the time nothin 2 do with him just that ur tired, he sounds decent enough n i'm sure would understand.

[Chrissa]

My ex was the same....if he kissed me it was like....full on touching up...let me have you now! kiss.....which was just not exciting...but predictable....
New man plays with me...licks and kisses and stays ages on the lips before even moving anywhere else...much more time to get really turned on.....

Ex was bombastic and insensitive to my needs only cared about what he wanted....

so..

Tell your man what you want....tell him that you love it when he kisses you slowly...tell him you love it when he teases you slowly.......s l o w l y....text him even...to tell him.....

good luck

[Cambridge]

My ex was the same....if he kissed me it was like....full on touching up...let me have you now! kiss.....which was just not exciting...but predictable....

Ex was bombastic and insensitive to my needs only cared about what he wanted....

I had an ex just like that. They could be siblings.

[Magiciangirl131]

I understand what you are saying.

I had a friend who had the same issue. You just need to explain to him, as so wonderfully put earlier, you want quality over quantity.

But when you do have sex just make it AMAZING!!

My boyfriend and I have these "Sex Days" where on special days (such as his birthday) we just have sex.

My boyfriends birthday was on a Sunday, which made it perfect. We had sex the night before, that morning, after breakfast, then we watched tv in bed (naked), and then again. We then went to his friends house for his party and had sex when we got back. I was so tired and sore but it was wonderful..and we were out of condoms

If he truly wants to be with you he will understand.