New here, need some advice

[MaryN1974]

I've been reading these posts and omg do they really hit home with me! I'm 34 my husband is 40, we've been married almost 9 years, together for 12 yrs. We have no children together. Now, that's out of the way lol. My husband is a compulsive liar! He lies about anything and everything! There has been issues with him being controlling and abusive (physically and mentally) along with the lying! I know, I've heard it before, if he's like that then why are you with him? It's because I love him and I took my marriage vows to heart. My first marriage ended in divorce because of his constant infidelity, which by the way, he ended up marrying this 'girl'. Anyway, my husband now, he lies about where he is, what time he'll be home, money, etc etc. and I'm sure if I asked him if the sky was blue he'd lie and say it was orange lol. Ok, not funny but..I'm so upset right now that laughter sometimes makes me feel better. I just threw my husband out of the house tonight. He called at 4:54 this afternoon and told me him and a guy he rode to work with had to fix his van (broke down). No biggie I thought. So 7:30 pm rolls around and I'm getting worried. I call the guys cell phone only to find out my husband is working on another womans vehicle. No biggie again (aggravated at this point though). When my husband called the first time he said he was in a location that he really wasn't. It's kind of funny because his friend ratted him out about where he was and who he was with. So..he gets home...and I'm fuming at this point...and I approach him (the other guy gets out of his vehicle too) and I looked straight at my husband and said...'explain yourself'. The a**hole laughed at me (which made me even more furious then I already was). His friend proceeded to tell me he didn't lie to me..so then I ask my husband...why didn't you tell me yourself where you were or who you were with? He just hung his head, still smiling and never answered me. I told him he had 10 minutes to get his stuff and get out. As he was leaving, he had the balls to call me a b*tch! This sort of thing is an every day occurance. I don't understand why he feels he has to lie to me, especially petty stuff, which makes me wonder what BIG things he's lying about?? Am I wrong to be angry and confused and hurt and hell..I'm just pissed off at him right now! I am at my wits end with him and the lies. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!! Sorry so long too!

[Fred75]

If you keep him, get sterilized.

[maristargazed]

Ya, you have every right to be mad and upset. He sounds like a complete jerk. I mean you took your vowes to heart, he should too. If he really loves you he wouldn't have to act like that to you. He should be able to tell you anything and everything, no lies about it. You sound like a good person, so what you should do is give it time. And if he comes back appologizing, tell him you want him to go to councelling, for the both of you. So that you can see what is really going on with him, or if he really is just a jerk.

[Guest]

[splinkygb]

He's got an inferiority complex, so has to lie to make himself feel better!

[Iceman301]

I don't know if you'll be reading this, but I'll post it anyway.

You're obviously married to a habitual liar! As such, you'll never, ever be able to trust him.
He also sounds like a "control freak" with everything else. The most likely thing you can do is get rid of him permanently! It really isn't worth your time and effort sitting around trying to figure out where he is and who he's with. It won't be long before those little "helping a lady with her car" turns into "helping a lady get screwed"!. I sure hope you don't plan on this jerk getting you pregnant! I doubt very seriously if he will give you and a child the kind of support and love you both would deserve. I don't know if you're able to support yourself, if not, work on that immediately!

Don't know if this is any help, but, here it is anyway. If you'd like to talk, PM me or look for me in the Lounge occassionally.