please help!!! should we stay together???

[Fred75]

What the f*ck.. You have 2 of his children honey you are pass the stage.

You are going to use that funding to educate yourself. Please choose a career or a trade that will allow you to be financially stable without his help, it that is to happen. Don't get married until yo uhave aquired yoru degree. You need to focus on yourself and your future. The married boat has sailed. You missed it. Get your life in order now that's all you have to do. When does class sessions start for you. Who will the child care fall on?

She has a career.
It's called her family and keeping it together for the children's sake.
And I hope she puts her children before her education.
Day-orphanages are not how to raise good kids.

I am only studying hairdressing my 3rd yr, I have a childminder while i'm there, college pays that. This is so we have a good stable life for us & our kids as they r always top priority.

No. Your school comes first.
If your kids were top priority, YOU, not some "childminder", would be watching them.

listen i dont know wat ur on about this is about my relationship not my kids or me being at college, yes college not school!
Get up 2 date women dont stay in n clean houses n look after kids all day we have careers n lifes too. Dont dare sit n send me messages about something u know nothing about.
I'm telling u my kids r top priority so dont tell me wat i know n how i feel.

I dont beleive your kids are top priority!
All you care about is college.
If you actually CARED about your kids you would be for them when they are out of school (if in school) and make sure their father has no reason to leave.

[alh]

oh shut up n stay out of this, ur so goin on about things that have nothin 2 do with this forum so be gone!!!!

[WhiteTrash]

Ask the girls when they're going out next, or take the kids to Mother's meetings. If you're in your 3rd year you must know a hand full of people you can mix with.

There seems to be two topics here, do you want a life for yourself, or do you want to end your relationship?

If things are that bad do both!

[alh]

thanks for everyones advice some more helpful than others!!

but no need for anymore as i have ended my relationship, unfortunately i've had enough. I do want friends n am gonna get my own life but if i'm gonna have a partner in the future i want to be his top priority which i dont think is that bad.

[sally wey]

thanks for everyones advice some more helpful than others!!

but no need for anymore as i have ended my relationship, unfortunately i've had enough. I do want friends n am gonna get my own life but if i'm gonna have a partner in the future i want to be his top priority which i dont think is that bad.

Hi love I'm Sally, I have just read this, and I believe you have done the right thing,
in any relationship married or just together is about sharing, and any man/woman who just goes out without so much as by your leave, they dont deserve any-one to love or love them,
yes you may have opened your legs for him but he didn't have to get between them and become a father,
relationships are about trust, talking, company, responability, raisin children together, without any of these its better to go your own way,
my husband and I have shared everything but even so we have extra sexual fun, this is about talking to each other, love Sally

[Cambridge]

we've been together 5 years expecting our 2nd child next month. We've got kids together & much more but we're both not happy! We've been through so much & managed to survive it though.

one big problem is - he really wants to go 2 pub when he wants without askin me, but why should i sit in watchin our child and tidy our house while he's out spendin money livin his life?
but i feel he doesnt ever want to do anything with me, he'd rather his family or friends were there!
Also i do make a big deal of everything, i'm always goin on bout our money n stuff n he hates that but sometimes i wonder if i'm makin a big deal of little things coz i dont want to be with him.
one more major thing is i dont have really close family or any friends so he is all i have really

I think we're kind o both scared to say wat should be said.....

please let me know what u think? as i am just so confused now!

Bouncy's point is that he is not one of your children. He is your spouse. A grow person doesn't have to ask permission. He has to be courteous to you and inform you he'll be going to the pub. That's all he has to do.

Now if you want your freedom inform him your going out with your girlfriends. Pick a night and go out and enjoy a dinner with friends. You can't be that pregnant that you don't want to do anything. You need to get your own life. He has his you should get yours.

Do you have a job? Have you worked your entire marriage?

I have just started college again n we're not married, ment 2 b engaged! I have no one 2 do things with n he wouldnt mind me goin out anyway.
so more or less everyone thinks its me then??? good 2 know

Yup, pretty much everybody is in agreement with Bouncy…he’s no saint, but you’re wanting pity, not answers. You’re pretty much responsible for your life…always. Bouncy’s giving you a simple, straight dose of tough-love: either fix it or stop bitchin’. I suspect you’re wanting a strong dose of coddling on the side, and these people don’t waste time on that sort of thing. They’re pretty decisive and you’re not getting it. I get the feeling that you’d rather nag him (and have all of us say tsk-tsk in your favor) than for you to make some decisions.