Sheesh, tough one, tough indeed especially given that I am not in a true lesbian relationship at present, you see, I am a lesbian trapped in a man's body but my girl just will not accept this yet... it's all very difficult and complicated actually.
hahaha, just pissing about of course. In all seriousness, here is my input.
dirty dyke wrote:Hi,
What I need advice on is should I
a) carry on and wait and see how it goes.
b)see if she want me to meet her in her lunch hour and if she said no, see why
or c) just take the hint and end it?
I dont want to have to do that but at the same time I cant carry on like this as I'm in limbo.
Well, I guess the first thing to do would be to raise these concerns with your partner. Full disclosure about your concerns and stuff. In my experience, open and honest communication is absolutely necessary for any meaningful relationship to thrive and survive. Really. So start there.
Your girl might actually be busy with work and might actually be tired. Again, discuss this with her, share your feelings and concerns, bring all of this to the fore. For this reason, I think you can dismiss your proposed solution "B" straight off. It seems a bit circuitous; the way I reckon, if you want to find something out, just talk to her. "A" and "C" are out as well, IMHO. The reason that I dismiss all of them straight out is because you neglect actually talking with her first about any of this. Just splitting without a word seems a bit knee-jerk, as does just simply accepting a situation with which you are not entirely happy with. Tell her that you are presently unhappy with the way things have been with her. Tell her that you have concerns about her feeling toward you and toward this relationship, and that you wonder if she is even really committed to it at all. Get this all out in the open and hammer through it. Once you have done this then you will be in a much better place to start making decisions like "A" and "C". I mean, as I said, she may really be in a busy spot at work. If that is the case, you might want to support her through this and go from there. That being said, make it clear that the current situation in perpetuity is unacceptable to you and that if she cannot figure out a way to better manage her most valuable resource, time, and figure out a way to actually be a half of this relationship, that you will have to move on and find someone who can be there for you.
Life is far too short to ever settle for some sort of second-rate situation that you are unhappy with. I have been there in those types of situations before and have been on the other end as well; working/training for long hours, away for long periods of time and sometimes leaving on extremely short notice all of which left my girl worried half to death about me, where I was, if I was alive or dead, wondering whether or not I be coming home this time.
So there ya have it. Talk talk talk. Go from there. After you have that open and free conversation, you will find that decisions are much easier to make when you are armed with a better understanding of the situation.
Good luck, I hope stuff works out for you!
peace
Ray
<--Why I must get out of bed.
<--Why I wish to remain in bed.