New girlfriend has me very confused

[jabbo]

I am very confused and hurting at the moment......I have been seeing a girl for 8 weeks (early days I know) but since my divorce some 3 years ago I have had a fair few short 'flings I suppose' but have always lost interest despite the girls chasing me to stay!

Well in this case I have just fallen for her big time and the more I see of her the more I fall for her.

The trouble is she has started to blow hot and cold......this has really knocked me back because in the first few weeks she just could not keep her hands off me and was saying the most caring passionate things!

She even went and had a contraceptive implant.

The problem is she is now saying she feels funny??....sometimes just crys....and one minute she is like she was......I mean wow sooo hot and all over me again......next day or even later that day she is a bit distant.

I have asked her were I stand but she says she can't quite 'put her finger on why she has backed off'??........Now I know this is all wrong but for the first time in my life I have started to chase her sending her messages telling her how much I care for her and that I am hurting.

She called me today and said she really doe not know what to do but feels that I am am now 'drowning her' and I will force her into making a rash decision!...

The confusing thing for me is that I stopped sending her txtx and calling and then she sends me a txt asking if I was ok and how is work etc......?......but not the txt she used to send telling me how much she fancied me etc....

Any advice welcome.....I really like this girl shall I back right off and just see what she ends up deciding?.....I have never been this side of the fence and it hurts BIG TIME.

BTW....we are both divorced and have two kids each...very similar ages that get on well together.........she said to me she has never had anybody fall for her in the way I have and this has taken her a back....she is also wondering about teh effects of the implant as her sex drive is not what it was........again BTW sex between us was electric!......she has moments when she wants sex with me but before the implant she was like a nympho !!...LOL

Pleae help advise me

[Verve]

Well I can tell you that some women like to be treated like sh*t for them to be interested. It is soon to label your relationship. Especially the divorced with kids is the killer. You might have to back off just a bit and give her space, but talk to her about it. The sad thing though is that this whole situation might be the implant she got. Her hormones are all screwed up. But what woman's hormone isn't.

[jinjin]

The same thought occurred to me too. The implant is a hormonal contraceptive device. Sexual interest and mood changes have been cited as reasons for discontinuing use of hormonal contraceptives.

[mr incredible]

is she pregnant?

[jabbo]

Well she has been divorced for 7 years and me 3 years.

I did agree to give her space but failed to keep to it tonight and went to see her.....I knew this would be a mistake but just canty stand the knowing of what has chnaged her mind out of the blue because thhings were soooo good and for the first time since my divorce I have found someone who REALLY pushes ALL my buttons......I know it is early but I think I love her....and I told her I thing I am falling in love with her.

Well she says she does not know what has changed her feelings but she will look into having the implant taken out or at least talk to her doc to see what his view of it is.

However she also said that she thinks I am gorgeous fancies me and that I have done everything right with her and the her kids etc.......she says it has confused her as much as me but she just feels differently at the moment and when someone SHE loved a year ago did feel the same way about her it broke her heart soo much that she has sorted her life out....joined a gym, gone full time at work etc....and has got used to being independent and on her own.

She also said I had done myself no favours by being so needy and keep contacting her which has made her feel even more off about us.....doh.....I knew it would but when you are into someone so much it is so very hard to not try and seek answers and try and get them back.

Anyway she gave me a nice cuddle, kissed me and said that she feels we still have a SMALL chance but I have worried her further because she would not want to get back with me give me hope and then would not want to see me in the pain and needy state I am in now!

I have agreed that I will NOT contact her anymore and as much as it hurts I have promised myself and her I wont.....I have deleted her number from my phone and got rid of all previous txt messages so even when I feel like contacting her I wont be able to...unless of course I end up driving round her house....which I hope I wont.

I dont like the SMALL chance she spoke about but what can I do?????

She did admit that the first few weeks she felt so into me and would like to feel like again but just doesn't at the moment??....I did explain that I have not felt how I feel about her EVER even with my ex-wife who I did love at one point !

She also promised to tell me if she realises deep down it will NEVER work and she would have told me tonight if she was 100% sure that is how she is feeling.....I do believe her so perhaps there is a small chance?

She also promised to contact me as soon as she was sure what she wanted but could not give me any timescales?

Anyway I feel very sad and cant eat and in so much pain.....so any advice on how to get through this would be appreciated and if anyone has a view on what you think the outcome might be it would be appreciated!.

I know I want someone to say it will be fine and she will come back to me.....but I am realistic and I wont throw myself of a bridge if you think it is doomed!

One vary sad, and I have been like this and hate myself for it but I must say NEEDY FEELING man

J

[jabbo]

Well she has been divorced for 7 years and me 3 years.

I did agree to give her space but failed to keep to it tonight and went to see her.....I knew this would be a mistake but just canty stand the knowing of what has chnaged her mind out of the blue because thhings were soooo good and for the first time since my divorce I have found someone who REALLY pushes ALL my buttons......I know it is early but I think I love her....and I told her I thing I am falling in love with her.

Well she says she does not know what has changed her feelings but she will look into having the implant taken out or at least talk to her doc to see what his view of it is.

However she also said that she thinks I am gorgeous fancies me and that I have done everything right with her and the her kids etc.......she says it has confused her as much as me but she just feels differently at the moment and when someone SHE loved a year ago did feel the same way about her it broke her heart soo much that she has sorted her life out....joined a gym, gone full time at work etc....and has got used to being independent and on her own.

She also said I had done myself no favours by being so needy and keep contacting her which has made her feel even more off about us.....doh.....I knew it would but when you are into someone so much it is so very hard to not try and seek answers and try and get them back.

Anyway she gave me a nice cuddle, kissed me and said that she feels we still have a SMALL chance but I have worried her further because she would not want to get back with me give me hope and then would not want to see me in the pain and needy state I am in now!

I have agreed that I will NOT contact her anymore and as much as it hurts I have promised myself and her I wont.....I have deleted her number from my phone and got rid of all previous txt messages so even when I feel like contacting her I wont be able to...unless of course I end up driving round her house....which I hope I wont.

I dont like the SMALL chance she spoke about but what can I do?????

She did admit that the first few weeks she felt so into me and would like to feel like again but just doesn't at the moment??....I did explain that I have not felt how I feel about her EVER even with my ex-wife who I did love at one point !

She also promised to tell me if she realises deep down it will NEVER work and she would have told me tonight if she was 100% sure that is how she is feeling.....I do believe her so perhaps there is a small chance?

She also promised to contact me as soon as she was sure what she wanted but could not give me any timescales?

Anyway I feel very sad and cant eat and in so much pain.....so any advice on how to get through this would be appreciated and if anyone has a view on what you think the outcome might be it would be appreciated!.

I know I want someone to say it will be fine and she will come back to me.....but I am realistic and I wont throw myself of a bridge if you think it is doomed!

One vary sad, and I have been like this and hate myself for it but I must say NEEDY FEELING man

J

[kissyx]

I'd say just back off for a wee while give her some time to herself. Is this he first "serious" relationship since her divorce? Maybe she is panicing that she has fallen so much for someone that she needs to pinch herself and can't handle how she feels.
I'm sure that with time things will work out.