car related jokes

[Sleek Lady]

Ok, maybe not so much of a car joke, but anyway here it goes.

Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the Shell station!

[Sleek -Lady]

Another one for you
I was driving home from work today when I noticed a cop car right
behind me.
I was extra cautious not to make any driving errors.
I made sure to completely stop at all the stop signs, use my turn signal with plenty of notice, etc...
After finally getting close to my house I started to worry, because he
was still right behind me.
Just then out of nowhere, a large pigeon flies strait at me, bounces off
my windshield and comes crashing down on the cop car, shattering its
windshield.
Since nobody was hurt, I chuckled and thought to myself, well that serves him right for following me so close.
All of a sudden the lights start flashing, and I realize he's pulling me over!
He walks over and starts writing me a ticket.
I say, officer what is the problem I stopped completely at all the stop signs, used my turn signal when necessary, so what gives?

He responds: This ticket is for you flipping me the bird!!!

[Lexanni]

That version of the joke is messed up. It's supposed to be the pigeon hits the windsheild and stays there until the driver is annyed and he turns on the windsheild wipers and it tosses the bird onto the cop car. Thus, actually "flipping" the cop the bird.

[D.M.]

Ok, maybe not so much of a car joke, but anyway here it goes.

Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the Shell station!

in all seriousness, i can't believe i havent heard that one!
it's surprisingly kiddy clever but classic too.

[Usquanigo]

Here's some great car jokes.... or just joke cars... lol

http://laughatrice.com/phpBB3/gallery2.php

http://www.ricecop.com/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ko3ojrte-I8

[sleepy2]

women driver's ...................... full stop ..

[Usquanigo]

What, did you get burned by a chick who was into cars? Or just smoked by a girl on the street? lol

[sleepy2]

What, did you get burned by a chick who was into cars? Or just smoked by a girl on the street? lol

look babes women can't drive ............. ok

[sleepy2]

policeman ...when i saw you coming round the bend i thought "forty-five
at least " .


woman motorist ....well , i always look older in this hat .

[spikeheelhoney]

In keeping with the Title of the Thread - here's a proper car related joke:

"A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends. They came to a muddy patch in the road and the car became bogged.
After a few minutes of trying to get the car out by themselves, they saw a young farmer coming down the lane, driving some oxen before him. He stopped when he saw the couple in trouble and offered to pull the car out of the mud for $50. The husband accepted and minutes later the car was free.

The farmer turned to the husband and said, "You know, you're the tenth car I've helped out of the mud today."

The husband looks around at the fields incredulously and asks the farmer,"When do you have time to plough your land? At night?"

"No," the young farmer replied seriously, "Night is when I put the water in the hole."

[finwin]

A yokel in Devon breaks down and calls the AA. The AA man says 'what's the problem' The yokel says 'my car is stopped and it won't move.' - 'What gear are you in?' says the AA man.
My blue jeans and sweat shirt!' says the yokel. (true story)

[franfran]

[Guest]

Nice one Fran!

Brian