Capricorn: Remember that classic line "Jesus loves you, everyone else thinks you're an asshole"? Think about it.
I think they are the most grown up sign.
Pisces: Money can buy happiness! Didn't it buy you $50 worth of "love" the other night?
Pisces can be very f-ucking irrational and
complicated, I like them when they quit that s-hit.
Aquarius: The "dawning of the age of" is over. Please go away now, hippie-freak.
They can detatch themselves fast. Irrational ? 60%
Aries: The high-point of your life was having a K-car named after you. How depressing is that???
The Ram. Enough said.
Taurus: Taurus-the-Bull-S***-artist. You da man!
Too stubborn and slow to be irrational.
Gemini: They say the sign of the twins is the sign of your "dual nature". Yeah, most serial killers have that.
Beyond irrational.
Cancer: I'm reminded of a sign in a bathroom: "No use in standing on the seat / The crabs in here can jump six feet". Make of it what you will.
Irrational emotional.
Leo: Leo the Lion. Or is that "lyin'..."? Buy the bar a round for every time you've said "I'll call you" or "Of course I'll respect you in the morning!"
Me, me, me, yawn. Irrational ? Too busy doing their hair.
Virgo: You're a virgin like I'm the pope. Didn't I see you get $50 from a Pisces recently...?
Irrational ? When they can't control every formal aspect of everyone elses life. Ouch.
Libra: How ironic that Libra is the sign of the scales. the most unbalanced person I know.
I don't have many bad words for Libra's. I've never known any very well.
Scorpio: Scorpions are just overgrown, venemous cockroaches, aren't they? Not that we're implying anything...
Irrational ? Rational ? Scheming !
Sagittarius: Last but definitely least. That's you, Sagittarius! Quit whining and buy us some drinks - maybe we'll let you hang out with us.
Centaur ---> Gimme a pint of Irrational !