How can guys ever compete with lesbian sex?

[Guest]

A vibrator or dido can NEVER *replace* the real thing. We can have fun with it but as for me, give me the real thing.

If you use your mouth, hands and full self into love making, not JUST your penis...then you've got it made.

Make love to her, it's not all about the penis!

[lonelybrave]

Unbeknownst to me, my gf had found one of these wmv.s several weeks ago on my computer while I was at work, burned a CD copy without ever breathing a word to me, and took it back to her dorm at school.

She told me she was mad when she found it, because she knew I must have been using it to masturbate
But it gets worse.

She told me that *before* she found the video, she and her roommate would lie in bed at night trying to fall asleep and would start talking about how much they missed not being with their boyfriends (me and the other girl's bf) during the week, and eventually they admitted to sometimes getting horny and rubbing themselves under the covers in their own beds while talking about how much they missed their bfs, but they didn't at first admit it to each other.

After my gf brought the video up to school, she and her roommate watched it "for a laugh" on the computer in their down room. She says about half way through the video, they weren't laughing anymore but became very silent and breathing heavy. Nothing happened that night but when they crawled into their own beds, they didn't talk at all.

The next night, shortly after they put it back in the drive and watched it, one thing led to another and my gf says they "got frisky" with each other, and well you can guess the rest. And she admits it happens often now, about the middle of the week, between them.

One time since then, when we were making love back at my place, I admitted that I was on the one hand horny thinking about her and her roomie, but on the other hand worried as to our future, she said her dorm mate had once joked about coming down and joining us one weekend. While the thought of this excites me, it also makes me worry that things will never be the same between us if somethinbg like that happens, and maybe she was just testing me by mentioning that, to see my reaction.

How can I be both hurt, worried and horny at the same time thinking about this?

I don't know what to say or do about it with my girlfriend. It seems like all this is no longer in my control, since they are going to do whatever they want whenever I am *not* around anyway, but what if as soon as my gf sees I enjoy what happens or might happen if her roommate really comes down, she gets mad and things between us start falling apart?

I am tired of guessing what I should or should not do next, and almost feel like no matter what I do or don't do, I will later find I did the wrong thing, either passing up this temptation, or not passing it up?

I did not guess any of this was going on when I posted my original question, but I now I understand that something was making me worry about whether I could compete.Now I understand what was making me think about it so much. There were little clues I missed in what she was saying and doing.

Advice here might help, even though I know I have to decide for myself.

[Guest]

First of all,how old are you ? At first i thought you were an oldfashioned man in your forties,now i'm guessing a scared,unspontaneous young man in his 20s ?
Secondly,i find your posts very disturbing and onesided.Not all bisexual women think of sex with women as better than sex with men,and masturbating with vibrator is certainly not better than having sex with a man for all women.I'd take a man i love over a vibrator any day.It is not a matter of competing.What a woman can do,a man can do,too.The things missing are breasts and vaginas.Everything else,using hands,tongues,words,dildosvibrator,a man can do,too.There are good lovers and bad lovers,it's not a matter of gender.Not all bisexual women will pick women over men.

'' ...she and her roommate would lie in bed at night trying to fall asleep and would start talking about how much they missed not being with their boyfriends (me and the other girl's bf) during the week ''

[lonelybrave]

You made a good point quoting me back in your last paragraph! That was a bit reassuring, although you may not have noticed that the "missing" me took place before they started "messing" with each other. Is she still "missing" me up there? I'm not so sure anymore, especially with the remarks she has started making when we are together which make me feel like she is grading my oral performance.

I appreciate your advice and point of view, but I think you could do without insulting me. Is it really necessary to suggest that I am "unspontaneous" and what I say is "disturbing and onesided"? I don't think it is.

Seeing your lover only on weekends certainly limits the time to be spontaneous, wouldn't you say? And wouldn't you be upset if you suddenly learned that your lover or mate was getting sexual pleasure ala carte from someone else when you weren't around, whether someone of the same sex or not? I can't believe you would be that casual about it.

On another matter, since you are a regular contributor, why are you listed as just a guest? I think it would feel more real talking to you if you chose a label or name or whatever they call it.

[lonelybrave]

Also, what do you mean when you call me "onesided"? Do you mean selfish?

If I was selfish and thinking only of myself, don't you think I would jump at the chance to follow up on what my gf said, when we were talking about sex, about her roomie offering to come down and join us? It is a very exciting thought and if I were thinking only of myself and the moment and not of what effect it might have on the future of my relationship with my gf?

Maybe I should.

Instead, I sit here worrying about whether or not when she quoted her roomie she really meant it as a hint that she would approve or whether she was just teasing me or testing me, and if it really happened what then? etc. etc.

The fact that I try to think before I act does not make me unspontaneous. I think it makes me unstupid.

[Guest]

You made a good point quoting me back in your last paragraph! That was a bit reassuring, although you may not have noticed that the "missing" me took place before they started "messing" with each other.

I did notice but i thought it was of importance to point it out,as it seems that the girls mentioned it to eachother a few times.

Is she still "missing" me up there? I'm not so sure anymore

Having sexual encounters with other people doesn't necessarily equate with her not missing you.It could be that missing you and missing the sex,fanned the fire of the lust she misses,when not with you.

especially with the remarks she has started making when we are together which make me feel like she is grading my oral performance.

Is criticism always something so bad ?

I appreciate your advice and point of view, but I think you could do without insulting me. Is it really necessary to suggest that I am "unspontaneous" and what I say is "disturbing and onesided"? I don't think it is.

I am saying what i am seeing,regardless of pretending i know the truth or being pc.
The ''disturbing and onesided'' remark relates to your first post,the sureness of your views on sex between women and how men come into the equation.
The ''unspontaneous'' relates to you having your set thoughts and not really looking into the things people say when they don't share your opinions.That is my observation.

Seeing your lover only on weekends certainly limits the time to be spontaneous, wouldn't you say?

s. above what i mean by ''unspontaneous''.

And wouldn't you be upset if you suddenly learned that your lover or mate was getting sexual pleasure ala carte from someone else when you weren't around, whether someone of the same sex or not? I can't believe you would be that casual about it.

Assumptions;i wouldn't be that casual about it.I would be upset,too.My post mainly refers to your views (and assumptions) on sex between women,women and vibrator and the comparisons etc you then make to sex between women and men.

On another matter, since you are a regular contributor, why are you listed as just a guest? I think it would feel more real talking to you if you chose a label or name or whatever they call it.

I think it doesn't matter whatsoever.Content over package.

[Guest]

Also, what do you mean when you call me "onesided"? Do you mean selfish?

If I was selfish and thinking only of myself, don't you think I would jump at the chance to follow up on what my gf said, when we were talking about sex, about her roomie offering to come down and join us? It is a very exciting thought and if I were thinking only of myself and the moment and not of what effect it might have on the future of my relationship with my gf?

Maybe I should.

Instead, I sit here worrying about whether or not when she quoted her roomie she really meant it as a hint that she would approve or whether she was just teasing me or testing me, and if it really happened what then? etc. etc.

The fact that I try to think before I act does not make me unspontaneous. I think it makes me unstupid.

I think i made clear in the other post to what aspects of this thread in am referring to.The recent posts show a new turn,that strongly sway from the first post.
Hope that clears up the misunderstanding.

As to the new (or not so new,i don't know) situation,i can understand your fear and you do show respect towards your relationship,which i hold up high.I'm trying to understand what you fear the most though.

[Guest]

It would make things easier for you,if you'd read the actual posts directed towards you.You would save time not asking such,excuse me,stupid questions because you'd understand what a person is referring to (!) when using certain words
You also wouldn't have to whine and try to make people feel guilty for your ''sorry self''.I'm only stating what i see (positive or negative),not out to get you.I think brutal honesty works the best sometimes but it also takes brutal honesty to look at oneself.

[lonelybrave]

As to the new (or not so new,i don't know) situation,i can understand your fear and you do show respect towards your relationship,which i hold up high.I'm trying to understand what you fear the most though.

What I fear the most is the possibility or perhaps probability that the quality of the relationship between myself and my gf is slipping away over this sexual issue. There are many other great aspects to our relationship, but of course sex is an important one too, for both of us. And I see things going downhill by what I have described. And I see myself put in a position of making choices without any reasonable or logical clues as to which choices may be good ones and which bad.

Does that explain my concern better? Perhaps. But does it provide to you any clues to the best answer? It doesn't to me.

[lonelybrave]

It would make things easier for you,if you'd read the actual posts directed towards you.You would save time not asking such,excuse me,stupid questions because you'd understand what a person is referring to (!) when using certain words
You also wouldn't have to whine and try to make people feel guilty for your ''sorry self''.I'm only stating what i see (positive or negative),not out to get you.I think brutal honesty works the best sometimes but it also takes brutal honesty to look at oneself.

Is this from the same "Guest" or a different one? Your tone seems to have changed dramatically if you are one and the same. If you are not, then I can only once again observe that those who post hostile, aggressive attacks on strangers on public boards are most likely suffering from a severe case of low self-esteem, and are best ignored.

In addition, it takes courage and intelligence in order to admit uncertainty and concern in order to invite advice or assistance. Any idiot can stick their chin out and act like they have the world by the tail, supressing all uncertainties and fears, and condemning others who admit theirs. What lies beneath is another matter.

If there are two different people posting with the same name, then this makes my point about the benefit to all of taking a more distinct name or moniker, don't you think?

[lonelybrave]

Last weekend my girlfriend brought her redheaded roomie with her for the weekend. It was quite an experience. I think my love relationship with my gf is no longer as strong as what it was, but they teased me mercilessly and it was an incredible sexual experience for me and I think for them. Unfortunately, it ended in a big stupid argument on Sunday night, which I think was started on purpose by my gf, as we were all getting along fine until then. Maybe it is just the age difference between us. It was their idea and I was cool with it. What's wrong with that?

[lonelybrave]

. . . lately I have been watching some lesbian sex videos that show the girls having such fantastic sex and orgasms . . . They don't seem faked or exaggerated. . . . The intensity of their pleasure and orgasms seems . . . very real and convincing, not like crappy porno I've ever seen before with phony moaning and groaning.

I have read the messages on this board where 3 girlfriends get together and have an incredible orgy and this seems like that. They take turns with one sort of being "it" and one of the other two licks and strokes the it girl's breasts while the other one licks and strokes and finger-f---s down below until the girl has a fantastic orgasm and then kisses and hugs and sort of thanks the others.

When it's 3 on one, the third girl joins in by stroking target girl's face, sticking her tongue in her ear, french-kissing her etc. They even have a few where a 4th girl joins in and just sort of strokes the target girl's stomach or thighs until they all make her come . . .

It already looks totally pseudo,lol.

When you look at these videos and you see tongues directly licking clits, what could you possibly mean when you say it looks "pseudo" or fake?
How could this be faked?

The only possible thing that could be faked is the intensity of their orgasms, and by time you get to these parts of the videos, who the h-ll cares if it is slightly exaggerated?

And judging by the other posts from girls on the forum, there is no way these girls' clits and pussies could be licked like this without them experiencing pleasure from it - why would they have to fake it?

[Guest]

As to the new (or not so new,i don't know) situation,i can understand your fear and you do show respect towards your relationship,which i hold up high.I'm trying to understand what you fear the most though.

What I fear the most is the possibility or perhaps probability that the quality of the relationship between myself and my gf is slipping away over this sexual issue. There are many other great aspects to our relationship, but of course sex is an important one too, for both of us. And I see things going downhill by what I have described. And I see myself put in a position of making choices without any reasonable or logical clues as to which choices may be good ones and which bad.

Does that explain my concern better? Perhaps. But does it provide to you any clues to the best answer? It doesn't to me.

Are you a worrier ?

[lonelybrave]

Are you a worrier ?

I really don't care anymore.

See my last post above about last weekend.

Thanks for all your helpful responses.

[Guest]

It would make things easier for you,if you'd read the actual posts directed towards you.You would save time not asking such,excuse me,stupid questions because you'd understand what a person is referring to (!) when using certain words
You also wouldn't have to whine and try to make people feel guilty for your ''sorry self''.I'm only stating what i see (positive or negative),not out to get you.I think brutal honesty works the best sometimes but it also takes brutal honesty to look at oneself.

Is this from the same "Guest" or a different one? Your tone seems to have changed dramatically if you are one and the same. If you are not, then I can only once again observe that those who post hostile, aggressive attacks on strangers on public boards are most likely suffering from a severe case of low self-esteem, and are best ignored.

In addition, it takes courage and intelligence in order to admit uncertainty and concern in order to invite advice or assistance. Any idiot can stick their chin out and act like they have the world by the tail, supressing all uncertainties and fears, and condemning others who admit theirs. What lies beneath is another matter.

If there are two different people posting with the same name, then this makes my point about the benefit to all of taking a more distinct name or moniker, don't you think?

It is from the same guest.I'm sorry,i'm not one to sugarcoat how i see things,and if someone asks for other peoples perspectives,i will say how i see it.I prefer a person to be blunt and to the point without skirting around the issues.It's also not a question of ''supressing all uncertainties and fears, and condemning others who admit theirs'',infact,i think it should be everyones foundation to admit ones own fears and uncertainty(within reason,of course),so no brownie points there.
You are asking for help,not i.If i were to ask for help,i would want a person to be direct with me,so i can use the chance to see things from different perspectives,
including ones that might bruise my ego or challenge my beliefs.

I do find it annoying when peoples first concern is to get all huffy puffy because someone addressed something that might not shed them in a positive light,rather than looking at what the person has to say and maybe consider that they see something,possibly not so favourable,that could help one get to the root of a matter.



'' Thanks for all your helpful responses. ''

See,i'd rather be to the point than write veiled,passive aggressive responses