my fiancee is a bast&*d

[jetset_willy]

I’m really tired of you guys and your knee-jerk reaction to anything that speaks to honorable treatment of loved ones.

If she doesn't get married to this guy, isn't that also a knee-jerk reaction. I wasn't trying to be facetious with my "get over it" comment, but if they stay together she will "get over it".

I'm really tired of you girls and your "oh my God my life is ruined" reaction to minor indiscretions like this... most of the female race seems to get off on their own inner turmoil. I blame Bridget Jones and all the similar over-analytical portrayals of young women.... I want a strong woman who says: "You are a b&*stard, and I'm going to really hate you for a while, but I can see you still love me, and you feel like a fool, but this is not going to soil our relationship." And, for what this guy did on his stag night, a swift kick in the balls might not go amiss.

[foolsgold]

i hardly look at people fooling around as "minor indiscretions". could i forgive a man that did something like that?? yah. would i be pissed about it?? yah. would i "get over it"?? yah. but that dosent excuse what he did (drunk w/ friends or not)

manhater, id say you have some serious issues to TALK w/ your man about. the key word being TALK, not bitch, yell or give him guilt trips over. i assume that since you were deciding to get married that you are able to talk things through w/ this guy. if there was any type of history w/ the guy doing things of this sort i, personaly, would throw him out on his ass. one time thing, imo, could be forgiven but would take a LOT of time for the relationship to get back to what it was.

[bugrit]

And I love your word, ‘piddadilloes”. Sounds like the musical instrument you use to stimulate your g-spot, my learned colleague.

Willy said peccadillo and that's a great word - kinda like a foible.

I think you must have meant the instrument featured in Graffenburg's Concerto for Piddledildo, notably in the climactic finale of the Vibrato In Pudenda movement.

[JimBobSquareDick]

Sorry, I don't see the problem.

[Guest]

Manhater-----How about an update???? Dying to know what's going on!!
Please tell. Wishing the best for you!

[joffa from down under]

At the risk of seeming like a male chauvanist pig I'll drop my two cents worth in.

Manhater, if you truely love this guy you'll overlook this issue. Yes, your fiance did a DUMB thing, but on the scale of relationship-ending dumb things, I think this is on the low end.

Getting a bj while drunk at a stag night is not a smart thing to do, but I don't think it's a reason to call off your marriage. He didn't sleep with this hooker, she is not a long lost love, she is not an ex, .... it's akin to taking a bite of an apple at the greengrocers and putting it back on the shelf - not the right thing to do, but at least he didn't eat the whole thing.

Look manhater, money doesn't come into it, nor does the thoughts of family & friends ... what matters is why you said yes to this guy in the first place.

He did a dumb thing and while I don't condone it (& nor should you) don't throw away your marriage and hopefully a lifetime of happiness over this silly indiscriminate incident. You need to talk to him, he needs to know how upset you are - but i don't think it should destroy your wedding day.

If we men were hung for all the dumb things we did - there would be none of us left.

Best of luck Manhater .... I hope you have a beautiful and memorable wedding day.

[Guest]

And I love your word, ‘piddadilloes”. Sounds like the musical instrument you use to stimulate your g-spot, my learned colleague.

Willy said peccadillo and that's a great word - kinda like a foible.

I think you must have meant the instrument featured in Graffenburg's Concerto for Piddledildo, notably in the climactic finale of the Vibrato In Pudenda movement.

Familiar....is that the one played in variant keys E A(h) and G?

[Sandy]

I think you should ask him how he would feel if it was the other ways round, if you got licked out by some guy in front of a crowd, he’s be on the hunt to kill wouldn’t he?

You can absolutely tell your family, it’s his shame and not yours. And I totally agree with postpone. Also think about the fact that if you don’t postpone he will think there are no consequences to his actions. Why is it that when women are hurt in a situation that they are not to blame for, some of us still sweep it under the carpet and pretend everything is alright? Just like you are trying to do with your family, it’s not alright, so don’t pretend that it is.

Him and his friends need time to wise and up realise what is acceptable and what isn’t

[Sammy Joe]

wow! I feel for you girl!!

I know I was really worried about this type of thing happening when my hubby had his stag. I told him before if there was a stripper there the wedding was off. That was 15 years ago.

I would dump the jerk...guys always try to reflect the blame to their buddies..."oh they egged me on" so what can't you stand up to your friends? He wouldn't have done it if he didn't want to let face the facts.
Whose to say they won't convince him in the future to do equally stupid things?

In Canada where I live most couples now have what they call a "Stag and doe" now instead of separate parties. They make A LOT of money at these co-ed parties and none of this sh** goes on. I've heard of couples getting like $7000-10,000 to start off their marriage through these parties put on by the wedding party and parents!

Good luck with your decision...after all it is YOUR decision and don't let anyone pressure you...YOU have to live with it for the rest of your life.

[Daniel1973]

What he did was a despicable thing to do. If your fiancé did that while he was out with some friends drinking, what will he do next time? Have sex? He certainly doesn't sound like a very trustworthy person. If you decide to go ahead with the marriage, then you should be aware that he will probably cheat on you again. if you can put up with the thought of him perhaps cheating on you again, then perhaps things will work out. The old saying "once a cheater, always a cheater" really is true. If I were you, I'd step back and take a while to reconsider. He totally effed up. You're the one who needs to decide if you can put up with this happening again or not.
Please tell us what you decided to do.
-Daniel