. wrote:Erections are an "automatic", non-conscious response to sexual arousal
Not always.Erections happen without being aroused,too.
Anyway,what a problem you have there.One thing that comes to mind is,an understanding girl would be helpful in your situation.If you could find a girl who doesn't fret when confronted with your situation,a girl who maybe is also sexually secure (doesn't mean she has had to have a lot of partners),would be optimal.
You could both
explore together and find ways of making you … feel at ease !
I think your best bet would be a girl who actually cares for you.