Who pays?

[Sol]

I am going to be one of the groomsmen for my friend's wedding in July. I went to get fitted for my suit and the rental store asked for a deposit and gave me a ticket to pay the additional cost of the rental when I pick up the tuxedo during the first week of June.

My girlfriend who went with me went ballistic and said that the groom should be picking up the cost. She then said that I should give less money as a gift to cover what the tuxedo rental is costing me.

I told her that I thought we should just suck it up.

Any opinions on how I should handle this?

[Julie]

Oooops a bit of a tricky one, I would say that the groom should pay for your outfit but on the other hand would you have been buying something new for the day anyway if you weren't one of the grooms men So sorry dont know the answer to that I just thought i would give you another little problem to have thought about, and is your girlfriend buying herself anythink new see what I mean. On top of all this a wedding is a big expense and any help is usually appreciated, and you can give him the same dilema whey you get married and he has to fork out for something to wear

[Sol]

Fair enough, that was what I was thinking

[geust]

well with brides maids they pay for their own dress so it should in my opinion be the same on the other end even if he isnt paying for the wedding he has a honey moon and a new bride to be paying for every dollar helps jipping on the gift is a low jesture. put the shoes on the other foot iis how i always look at it . DO unto others as yoyu wold have done to you

[Smiler;)]

it not normal for a bridesmaid to pay for her dress (unless she offers to), its not normal to pay for anything unless the bride and groom have asked you before hand......they are asking you to be part of there day then expect you to pick up the bill bit of a cheek if you ask me

im getting married next year and i wouldnt expect anyone to pay for there own outfit.

[Guest]

Bridesmaids do pay for their own dress at least in the US they typically do, so I'm assuming the same goes for groomsman. Is the tux or suit rental that expensive to make a fuss about? Can you shop around at different suit rental places? Try googling "wedding etiquite groomsman" and see what you find.

[Guest]

Bridesmaids do pay for their own dress at least in the US they typically do, so I'm assuming the same goes for groomsman. Is the tux or suit rental that expensive to make a fuss about? Can you shop around at different suit rental places? Try googling "wedding etiquite groomsman" and see what you find.

[Guest]

it is the same in the UK, it is tradition for bridesmaids to pay for their own dress, it is seen as an honour to be asked and as said before, most people would be likely to get something new anyway. At least you're only hiring. I'm not sure but I think it's probably the same for groomsmen too. I would expect if invited to be a groomsman that I would have to pay also, although I'd prefer not, I wouldn't even question it.

[RACHEL1982]

i have always been under the impression that the bride pays for the bridesmaid dress an not the bridesmaid

[jinjin]

It is left to the discretion of the bride and groom. Wedding etiquette does not require the bride and groom to cover the cost of bridesmaids and groomsmen wedding clothes. Hence, both bridesmaids and groomsmen may have to pay for their own wedding clothes.

General Guidelines... http://www.ourmarriage.com/html/who_pays_for_what.html

[RACHEL1982]

i have been a bridesmaid 3times now, and i have never paid for anything, i also know of friends that have been bridesmaids and they have never paid for there dresses either, i have been asked to be a bridesmaid in 2009 and they are paying for the dress, when i get married in a few year, i wont expect my bridesmaids to buy there dresses.....it must be a north east of england thing.

[Salsito]

it is the same in the UK, it is tradition for bridesmaids to pay for their own dress, it is seen as an honour to be asked and as said before, most people would be likely to get something new anyway. At least you're only hiring. I'm not sure but I think it's probably the same for groomsmen too. I would expect if invited to be a groomsman that I would have to pay also, although I'd prefer not, I wouldn't even question it.

In my experience (yes I'm married) the bride/groom cover the cost of the dresses and suits for the bridesmaids/page boy/bestman; i know all my friends who are married did the same. (we are all in the UK)

[Polgara69]

I agree there. Also there is usually a niece or something of about 3 years of age who is a bridesmaid for the cuteness factor and they would find it hard to pay for their own! I had my 2 daughters and 2 sons at my wedding and paid for their outfits. I dont know anyone who paid for their own bridesmaids dresses!

[James the Rocket]

Bloody hell! As if things are not hard enough, you women are even picky over who buys the clothes. At my wedding they can buy their fecking own! I'd buy my own, or hire or whatever.

If I had heaps of money, that's different. Then I'd shout, sure.

Your girlfriend went ballistic and then said you should buy a smaller gift? Sounds like a control freak. Once you give in to terrorism, you're a dead duck. Stand your ground, rent your own fecking suit and buy a decent present. Be a man. If she picks on you for that, then unless she's pretty as all get out, leave her.

[Funkychicken]

This is a toughie! Sometimes the bridesmaid dresses can be sooo expensive and it's not your fault if u don't get a say in it and the bride just says u have to buy it. I think she should pay in that case, but on the other hand she prob asked u to be a bridesmaid because you're really good mates and in that case you probably wouldn't mind forking out a bit extra for your mate's big day. Guess this applies to suits too although u could probably get a cheap suit that's a replica of the 'real' ones. Eek, I don't know how it works so maybe I should just stop talking