Sex and Dating Advice Needed (Urgent)

[FRECKELMANIA]

In all fairness i would hate to go with aman who had been witha lady. dunno about you ladies out there but i like to house train my men my way..... my husband seems to like it that way - heres a tip go for an older lady who wants to show you the world as you have never seen it and soon youll be singing in the rain! - but seriously dont go to a lady - euh! im not a prude and i dont m nd strip joints but a lady - thats just down right grubby!

[Big Ben]

I agree with the two posters above. Don't go a lady to lose your virginity. You'll regret it later on. I think it is worse to have gone to a lady for your first time then to be a virgin. If you are close to your dad or an older brother, talk to him to learn how to do it. If you don't get along with your dad, talk to your mom. If you don't get along with your parents, confide in a really close friend.

Having said that, I know a guy who went to a hooker for his first time, which was at 19. He said that at that time, he knew he needed experience as he came too quickly. But when he told me this, I found myself respecting him less than before. So don't do it! Find another way!

My guess is that if you find a girl you really like and connect with, it won't matter. Try faking it at first. If she pushes you, you can say you don't have that much experience or haven't done it for a long time. If she continues to push you, perhaps spill the beans. But then explain that you really wanted to save your virginity for someone really, really special, and that special person is her. As long as you are not hideously ugly or a basket case or anything like that, she'll probably really love you for choosing her for your first time. She'll think it is sweet, romantic, etc. And actually, it is.

Good luck, not that you'll need it. Sex comes naturally to guys.

[mostirreverent]

For men, losing their virginity is just that, losing some albatross around their shoulders. It is something to be cleansed of. We do not remember it as some spiritual experience the way woman do. Consequently, you do not hear stories of what a disappointment it was for men. 90% women feel cheated by losing it.

If your virginity is haunting you, get rid of it, as it sounds like it is affecting the posters confidence. If you have a wart and need to get rid of it you go to a doctor. Likewise, if your virginity wont’ go away naturally (as it does from16-20), then see a hooker. Just don’t tell any gf later. Then again, any woman that is that upset with your past can just F*** herself. Find woman with confidence and a past.

[FRECKELMANIA]

wont’ go away naturally (as it does from16-20), then see a hooker. Just don’t tell any gf later. Then again, any woman that is that upset with your past can just F*** herself. Find woman with confidence and a past.

Well there is a piece of valuable advice - lie to your girlfriemd but if she doenst like it F*** herself?!?! Confidence and a past does not go hand in hand with being okay about a partner going to a hooker and then lying about it - i hate to think how you treat and respect women

[DevilInTheWoods]

>As long as you are not hideously ugly or a basket case or anything like that

Er... yes, but what if you are?

This world isn't set up well for the ugly and the weird - we have to find our own path. Bizarre how people who'd be horrified to think they might utter a racist term feel no shame in dismissing somone as 'ugly', isn't it?

[Big Ben]

Well, the two guys here both said they are at least decent looking, so it shouldn't be a factor. If one of them were hideously ugly and a virgin because of it, yes it is unfortunate that society would penalize them for it. But actually it is worse for women than men. Some pretty ugly, fat, balding men can still get great-looking babes, if they are rich enough to make up for their mediocre-to-bad looks. We see this rich man - beautiful woman combination all the time in society.

[HunnySuckle]

I'm sure you aren't doing anything wrong. The fact that you think you might be doing something 'wrong' can easily give the feeling to other that you are unsure of yourself.

Lighten up. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin at 24 and personally I would rather wait for a meaningful relationship to have as my first than to rush out and pick someone up in a bar for a one night stand. Don't get down on yourself, you will find that right person when you are least expecting it.

My first was a BF that I had been dating for over a year before we 'did the deed' . We were both young, around 17ish and we really cared for each other, which made it very special and memorable for the both of us.

[mostirreverent]

wont’ go away naturally (as it does from16-20), then see a hooker. Just don’t tell any gf later. Then again, any woman that is that upset with your past can just F*** herself. Find woman with confidence and a past.

Well there is a piece of valuable advice - lie to your girlfriemd but if she doenst like it F*** herself?!?! Confidence and a past does not go hand in hand with being okay about a partner going to a hooker and then lying about it - i hate to think how you treat and respect women

I would just not volunteer it. If pressed, I would admit to it. If I got attitude about it, I would stand my ground and say look, get over it, it really has nothing to do with you, and if you lack the confidence in yourself or our relationship, that my having been with a hooker bothers you, then so be it. This is me and that is my past, so deal with it. Sex+money is still just sex. I would give the same advice to a woman with a lot of old partners. If her current man can’t accept that, then “F*** Him” I’m tired of peole who are always apologizing for who they are.

[FRECKELMANIA]

it aint about lacking confidence in ourselves it about you or whoever it may be feeling like they need to go to a hooker. The lack of confdence doesnt lay in me it lays int he person who feels like a hooker is the only way he'll get laid and feel good about it - we all have our own opinions and all i am saying is you would be hard pressed to find a 'decent' lady to settle with who wasnt a bit bothered by it

[mostirreverent]

it aint about lacking confidence in ourselves it about you or whoever it may be feeling like they need to go to a hooker. The lack of confdence doesnt lay in me it lays int he person who feels like a hooker is the only way he'll get laid and feel good about it - we all have our own opinions and all i am saying is you would be hard pressed to find a 'decent' lady to settle with who wasnt a bit bothered by it

That was one of my main points. It may be that this poor fellow is lacking confidence, and therefore exudes that fact. Whether or not he can actually get laid, at this point he feels he cannot, so perhaps a hooker would do him well. I have not been with one, but aside from paying for sex, I don’t have an issue with it. They may also be good for the Huge Grants of this world who cant get a blowjob from their partners.

It is not about male confidence in the case that a man, and many exist, that is confident that he can’t get laid any other way. There is also the ease and availability issue. Some workaholics may find these services suit their lives better. There is also the rite of passage or bachelor party hooker; again, this has nothing to do with a lack of male confidence.

Why do many women (and BigBen) have issues with men having gone to hookers? Are the women without issues with it not decent or ladies?
Do call girls count?

[mostirreverent]

Well, the two guys here both said they are at least decent looking, so it shouldn't be a factor. If one of them were hideously ugly and a virgin because of it, yes it is unfortunate that society would penalize them for it. But actually it is worse for women than men. Some pretty ugly, fat, balding men can still get great-looking babes, if they are rich enough to make up for their mediocre-to-bad looks. We see this rich man - beautiful woman combination all the time in society.

Is this any different from a hooker?

By the way, I’ve slept with “ugly” woman. All I need is a nice smile and their asking. And yes, I was sober.

[FRECKELMANIA]

Apart from most 'hookers' at stag does are actually strippers (if they choose totake money for sex it is ont heir own time) - i am married to a gentleman who works in the city - long hours and his lifestyle is the kind you say that hookers are easiest. I happen to disagree ...being married to that type of man and knowing his friends they are repelled at the thought of going and paying for sex - now you may well bring up the argument of firt dates where they wine and dine the ladies and sleep with them - and may possible argue that it can be classed as up market prostituion - but these woman do it becasue they want to not becasue like a 'normal hooker' who have to to get by.

All i was saying int he last post is no matter how safe and confident you feel after being with a hooker - like i said you will find very few woman who will appreciate that you have been there. Why do so many marriages break up when woman find out their husband went to a hooker before they were married or even on their stag do - becasue it is down right nasty in our eyes. ( okay sorry ladies if i am generalising - please let me know if none of you would be offened and i will take back what i said for you personally)

Men saying that they felt unconfident before going to hooker becasue they were virgins has nothing to do with what the female in their life thinks - it is dictated by those male mates around him who go on about what woman do and dont like..... you ave heard on this post that the majority of ladies have said they would appreciate honesty from a bloke rather than them seeing a hooker - does that not tell you osmething about a womans mentality - IT IS NOT A BIG DEAL TO US IF YOU ARE A VIRGIN - just dont lie, cheat or break our hearts that all we ask.

Honesty is the only truth in love.

tc xx

[FRECKELMANIA]

ps again sorry about the spelling!

[mchosay]

If I were you I would not go to a hooker it's far more meaningful to spend you’re first time with someone you really care about. I did and for me there was nothing better and yes I have paid for sex in the past and it does not compare then again if you pay allot then you do get a great time to think about I am now though in a loving relationship and I am regretful of paying a woman to sleep with me but hey I had a great time but there is not the emotional attachment which as men we do need.

we are fragile pieces of kit and in our mind there is nothing better than someone wanting to sleep with you for you rather than for your money.

You seem fairly confident about your social standing therefore I would turn to a good friend and ask him to go on the pull with you after a while you may actually get enough confidence to ask someone out. But all this takes a lot of time all good things come to those who wait my learned friend..

[Big Ben]

Apart from most 'hookers' at stag does are actually strippers (if they choose totake money for sex it is ont heir own time) - i am married to a gentleman who works in the city - long hours and his lifestyle is the kind you say that hookers are easiest. I happen to disagree ...being married to that type of man and knowing his friends they are repelled at the thought of going and paying for sex - now you may well bring up the argument of firt dates where they wine and dine the ladies and sleep with them - and may possible argue that it can be classed as up market prostituion - but these woman do it becasue they want to not becasue like a 'normal hooker' who have to to get by.

All i was saying int he last post is no matter how safe and confident you feel after being with a hooker - like i said you will find very few woman who will appreciate that you have been there. Why do so many marriages break up when woman find out their husband went to a hooker before they were married or even on their stag do - becasue it is down right nasty in our eyes. ( okay sorry ladies if i am generalising - please let me know if none of you would be offened and i will take back what i said for you personally)

Men saying that they felt unconfident before going to hooker becasue they were virgins has nothing to do with what the female in their life thinks - it is dictated by those male mates around him who go on about what woman do and dont like..... you ave heard on this post that the majority of ladies have said they would appreciate honesty from a bloke rather than them seeing a hooker - does that not tell you osmething about a womans mentality - IT IS NOT A BIG DEAL TO US IF YOU ARE A VIRGIN - just dont lie, cheat or break our hearts that all we ask.

Honesty is the only truth in love.

tc xx

I agree with you that a guy should not go to a hooker for experience. However, it is a big deal to most women if the guy is a virgin. Women want men they can look up to and most would view it as rather strange and even be disappointed if her bf was a virgin. You are the exception but I wouldn't be surprised if in your subconscious even you feel differently. But the guy who started the thread is right to be concerned and that is why he brought up the topic. Him being a virgin is a big negative if he is serious about the girl. All he can do is try to make the best of a tough situation and hope it still works out.