my boyfriend cums really fast then he goes to sleep

[Joolienna]

ia 38 and my bf and i have been together for about 3yrs now, when he looks at pics he gets horney or if we are out in public he stares at women but whne we have sex he cums really fast and doesnt want more he usally says he is tired and goes to sleep i feel like he is making excuses, its like he just wants to get it over with has anyone ever had this happen to them, he told me he fantized about other women while we had sex, he didnt have sex with them he just saw there bodies he said that it made it so he didnt cum so fast but he did anyways and he still does cum fast even thou he tells me he doesnt do that anymore, can anyone help me figure this out please

thank you

[mostirreverent]

First off, lots of men come too fast, or woman come to slow. Lots of men fantasize about other woman during sex. I don’t think there is a connection. You have two issues to deal with here. As for sleep, that is a chemical thing with males, something to do with endorphins or other brain chemicals.

Couples need to talk about the disparity of speed to orgasm. Maybe he would slow down if he did not try to horn himself up with thoughts of naked bodies. You can get him to try to last by a variety of techniques found here and on the web, like Viagra, having him think if feels less good than it does, practice not coming, squeeze technique, desensitizing creams, condoms, condoms with desensitizing chemicals. You can have your orgasm with cunilingus or have him get you 90% there before intercourse.

You can also train yourself to come faster.

[hi_there]

ia 38 and my bf and i have been together for about 3yrs now, when he looks at pics he gets horney or if we are out in public he stares at women but whne we have sex he cums really fast and doesnt want more he usally says he is tired and goes to sleep i feel like he is making excuses, its like he just wants to get it over with has anyone ever had this happen to them, he told me he fantized about other women while we had sex, he didnt have sex with them he just saw there bodies he said that it made it so he didnt cum so fast but he did anyways and he still does cum fast even thou he tells me he doesnt do that anymore, can anyone help me figure this out please

The fact that you are already talking to him about it and he feels comfortable telling you some of what's going on in his mind is a very good sign. Step two is telling him to stop acting like a selfish prick. He already knows that there are things he can do for you, he just isn't doing them - it's almost as though he is having sex alone - with your body (if that makes any sense.) There could be a lot of reasons why he may be acting that way - and many of them could be fears, worries, concerns about whether he is pleasing you at all.

For instance: "I really want to have sex with her but I know she isn't getting as much enjoyment out of it. I feel bad but I don't know what to say or do. I put off dealing with and put off sex and then when we do make love I'm so worried and it's over quickly and I just feel ashamed."

Keep getting him to open up but don't let him continue being selfish - it won't be good for you or him ultimately.

Pick an evening every so often and tell him in advance you want him to focus on you - period. No intercourse. Make it romantic. Help him learn about you and what you enjoy and he'll be more confident both in his ability to please you and in your acceptance of other forms of sexual activity than the one he knows already (and may be stressed out about.)

[Donny]

If he goes to sleep he is a selfish b*****. To be a man, he needs to satisfy his woman, this may take effort, which he is not willing to do. His Orgasm does not have to be the main focus of the evening, do it in the afternoon..tell him you may "accidently" meet a man who knows how and will satisfy a woman. At least make an effort.

[rainstorm]

Be blunt and tell him you'd like for him to last longer.. If he wont even try, tell him to go down on you maybe you could be satisfied this way.. because it isn't fair that you dont orgasm..