Problems with fiance

[chococookie]

AND WHAT DOES THAT TELL YOU...MS. BUSINESS WOMAN

LOL
I agree with this. I know it must feel terrible that you would have to break off an engagement when you love your man so much but he's not good for you. Anyone who messes you up emotionally is not worth it.

[Cambridge]

You could have just read my first post, rosanna. After all of the machinations of people who fear their lovers getting too close to the scent of the opposite sex, every intelligent person on this board has ended up agreeing with me. Next time just PM me and we'll settle it together.

[chococookie]

:whistle: You could have just read my first post, rosanna. After all of the machinations of people who fear their lovers getting to close to the scent of the opposite sex, every intelligent person on this board has ended up agreeing with me. Next time just PM me and we'll settle it together.

haha I hope she takes your advice, and won't have to pm you for help with this man again.

[Cambridge]

+1

[rosanna_6]

meh, I don't want to call it off, but I guess I have very few options, so I don't know.

[Cambridge]

meh, I don't want to call it off, but I guess I have very few options, so I don't know.

Classical equivocating. I don’t want to push you. And there is no need if no wedding date is set. Maybe he’s good in bed. There’s obviously something keeping you.

But listen to your girlfriends, girlfriend. And listen to me as a boy-knowledgeable gf (if there is such a thing). It’s not going to work out. Candy and flowers don’t make up for an unmistakable declaration on the subject. Somebody has to make a decision. Get out in the field. Hanging about is like an alcoholic who doesn’t think one lit’il drink will hurt.

[rosanna_6]

that's all.

[Cambridge]

:shock:
that's all.

Point taken...but also, point made.

[rosanna_6]

Maybe he’s good in bed. There’s obviously something keeping you.

But listen to your girlfriends, girlfriend. And listen to me as a boy-knowledgeable gf (if there is such a thing). It’s not going to work out. Candy and flowers don’t make up for an unmistakable declaration on the subject. Somebody has to make a decision. Get out in the field. Hanging about is like an alcoholic who doesn’t think one lit’il drink will hurt.

Er what is the point? I won't get engaged to someone just because he is good in bed. I do actually want to be with him and before we got engaged this was an issue but not a big one, so I'm just having trouble believing that we're actually not very compatible and have tried hard to find a solution.
I know that chocolates and flowers don't mean much here, though. The alcoholic comment, hmm, never mind.

[Cambridge]

Maybe he’s good in bed. There’s obviously something keeping you.

But listen to your girlfriends, girlfriend. And listen to me as a boy-knowledgeable gf (if there is such a thing). It’s not going to work out. Candy and flowers don’t make up for an unmistakable declaration on the subject. Somebody has to make a decision. Get out in the field. Hanging about is like an alcoholic who doesn’t think one lit’il drink will hurt.

Er what is the point? I won't get engaged to someone just because he is good in bed. I do actually want to be with him and before we got engaged this was an issue but not a big one, so I'm just having trouble believing that we're actually not very compatible and have tried hard to find a solution.
I know that chocolates and flowers don't mean much here, though. The alcoholic comment, hmm, never mind.

Please don't get all huffy about analogies. The alcoholic comment is not a direct reference to you, but a reference to your addiction to this man. Chococlookie above expressed the opinion: "And wrt the post before that, I'm scratching my head wondering why you are still together." If you're right in your premises, and there is no other reason about this guy, you have an addiction. There is no other explanation. Don't play sulky with me rosanna...I'm too old and too experienced in the game

[rosanna_6]

Please don't get all huffy about analogies. The alcoholic comment is not a direct reference to you, but a reference to your addiction to this man. Some poster above expressed the opinion, "I can't believe you're still with this guy". If your right in your premises, and there is no other reason, you have an addiction. There is no other explanation.

I know it's not directly about me. It is sort of true, unfortunately.
Although it's not really addiction, but yeah, I know what you mean.

[chococookie]

If he's not good for you, keeps blackmailing you emotionally, thinks flowers and chocolates will make you change your mind, wants to make you give up your job, etc etc, then you should run for the hills.
Like I said, it is sad, but you need to do this before you go nuts.

[Cambridge]

+1 Couldn't have said it better myself.

[aasd19]

Seriously I can't believe some of you here. there are MANY people who don't believe in platonic relationships, so I doubt you should think your boyfriend is some crazy freak when he has problems with this.

[Polgara69]

I agree with you but he is asking her to change her whole life because he doesnt trust her. She should not be with someone who would ask her that. Like Caroline said, the business partner had years of oppurtunity before her fiance came along and made no pass at her so why would he now? Either he trusts her or he doesnt. And what is worse if she stays with him and gives up her business to make him 'feel better' soon she will justifying everything she does to him. Trust me I have been in this situation. I should have split with my ex 6 months into the relationship but, as I was young, I mistakenly thought his jealousy meant he cared about me. He opened my mail, checked my phone calls, called me all the time to check where I was. Its draining feeling like you have to answer for everything you do. This is what her life will be like. I stayed with him for 12 years and spent most of time convincing him I was not going to leave him for someone else. Now I am in a relationship built on trust and it is wonderful. When you get it its great.