Problems with fiance

[MaxtheGaul]

rosanna, I hadn't realised you have two threads running. You asked the question would any man allow this. Yes I can answer that because I have more than once.
If you go into a relationship with someone who does not trust you then there is no hope for that relationship. It will crumble, and you will regret it.

Of course if you choose to give up your work that's a completely different thing, but that is your choice to make, not his to demand.

I didn't realise there were two relationship sections here; the second time I came to the forum I went to the wrong one and thought my post had been deleted, so I registered and posted again(copy, pasted from another forum I posted on)!
If I do quit it will solely be because he wants me to. I have put a lot of hard work and money into my business, and I really enjoy working in it, so there is no reason why I would do so otherwise.

Doesn't that make you feel diminished?

Trust me this isn't going to work, unless you are ready to be his little woman, tend to his needs and let him go out and be the big earner. And who knows he may be out of work soon!! Then how will you feel giving up a business that could have supported you? Doesn't make any sense to me at all.

I think you know you haven't got the right guy, and you're afraid that they don't exist, well they do, you just haven't found him yet.

Sorry that sounds harsh, but it's so clear to me.

[rosanna_6]

Doesn't that make you feel diminished?

Trust me this isn't going to work, unless you are ready to be his little woman, tend to his needs and let him go out and be the big earner. And who knows he may be out of work soon!! Then how will you feel giving up a business that could have supported you? Doesn't make any sense to me at all.

I don't think he wants me to sit at home, but he's asking me to get a job somewhere else.

I think you know you haven't got the right guy, and you're afraid that they don't exist, well they do, you just haven't found him yet.

That is a concern, but not a major one. Not for now anyway.

The other problem is that we are hardly talking these days, other than when we are arguing over the same thing, going round and round in cirlces.

[aasd19]

Sorry but your man is right. Men don't go out making friends with women unless they want to pursue her romantically. Your fiance is trying to be protective. Chances are that this partner is looking for more.
Women obviously don't understand the how men think.

[Cambridge]

Oh for God’s sake. Please move on so we can deal with other issues.

If he’s giving you the silent treatment understand it’s the classic manipulation technique. What a child he is. He’s going after your self-esteem. Look, you post, you post and you post, and each time he gets worse. What is it that you see in this pigfart? Make a decision and move on.

[rosanna_6]

Oh for God’s sake. Please move on so we can deal with other issues.

If he’s giving you the silent treatment understand it’s the classic manipulation technique. What a child he is. He’s going after your self-esteem. Look, you post, you post and you post, and each time he gets worse. What is it that you see in this pigfart? Make a decision and move on.

Well, this thing about the business is the only thing on which we don't get along.
And you don't have to look at my posts if you find them irritating!

[Cambridge]

Oh for God’s sake. Please move on so we can deal with other issues.

If he’s giving you the silent treatment understand it’s the classic manipulation technique. What a child he is. He’s going after your self-esteem. Look, you post, you post and you post, and each time he gets worse. What is it that you see in this pigfart? Make a decision and move on.

Well, this thing about the business is the only thing on which we don't get along.
And you don't have to look at my posts if you find them irritating!

Well, I only find them irritating because you refuse to face facts. You are stupid, stupid stupid. You say the business is the snag, yet you admit that he is not speaking to you altogether. Look, if you don't want advice, get outta here. You've got a looser for a bf and if you can't accept that, let us alone. Get a life.

[MaxtheGaul]

Cambridge, you're being harsh, It's easy to see form the outside, but when you're in a relationship it's harder to realise how far wrong it has gone. She's trying to come to terms, although I'm sure she understands now that it really won't work.

[bob_333]

no, dont quit because of him, its your chance to go somewhere, he will only drag you down.
He's on this insecurity trip and it wont stop.
I once employed an attractive woman, and we worked together all day long, very long hours after normal hours, my girlfriend at that time was very stressed about it and gave me all sorts of grief, her sisters too also gave me bad vibes about it.

Problem with this guy is not only will you have to devote nearly all your life to your business (as I did) your boyfriend is locked in 'jealous' mode ... these two things will drain the energy you need to run your business. I split with this girlfriend many years later (not because of who I employed mind), and today I still run my business, I could never imagine of having to give it up for her, as much as I loved her.

I can be a stubborn sod and I ignored my girlfriends nagging and harrasment, as the years went on I think my girlfriend realised nothing was going to happen with my employee, and things mellowed, I suggest breaking away from your man for a bit, two, three months, show him who's boss !! this will give you space and time you need to run your business, it will mellow his mind (and get him off his jealousy trip), he needs to be made to accept the situation, sorry - as cruel as that sounds, otherwise he will drive you nuts .. and do you really need that right now ??

Good luck.

[aasd19]

bob, of course your gf was jealous. That is quite natural.

and the guy who said he was fine with his ex and current gf travelling with other men and nothing has happened, how would you know that they didn't sleep with some other man? they won't tell you.

[Newbie.]

Sorry but your man is right. Men don't go out making friends with women unless they want to pursue her romantically. Your fiance is trying to be protective. Chances are that this partner is looking for more.
Women obviously don't understand the how men think.

Sorry, but this is just a stupid post - What kind of guy thinks other guys cannot have platonic relationship? I'm a guy in a good relationship with plenty of female friends, including those of my gf - and most of the guys I know are also of the same thought. Just because we could have sex with girls, doesn't exclude them from friendship - or else would a Bi-sexual person be allowed ANY friends?

You like your business, you find your business partner is just a friend - if your BF cannot get that through then he's not worth it - if he truely feels about you then he'll have to work over his insecurities. Maybe he feels his position as the 'main man' in your life is threatened by this other man you share a business and your time with; and you could both work on it from there

[FFFCaroline]

You can go to different Forums and other Boards until you are blue in the face....The answer will still be the same...It isn't going to work....That's why you are here from the start isn't it?

You want your life and he wants his...Unfortunately, it is not the same life....This one thing that you disagree on is bigger than big...He can't see your reasoning and you can't see his....Part....Go on to another man.....Only this time have this out before you get engaged...

Just my thoughts,
Caroline

[Cambridge]

I'm sorry I blew up, rosanne. But it's frustrating to view a situation that is so obvious, but you keep making excuses for it. You're enabling him in his immaturity.

[MaxtheGaul]

bob, of course your gf was jealous. That is quite natural.

and the guy who said he was fine with his ex and current gf travelling with other men and nothing has happened, how would you know that they didn't sleep with some other man? they won't tell you.

You obviously have a very low opinion of other people. I actually trust my g/f. If she says she didn't sleep with anyone then she didn't. Fact is if she did she would tell me, because for us it's honesty and trust that binds our relationship, not fear of sexual infidelity.

[Verve]

Rosanna here is the question of the day. What do you want to happen in regards to your business and fiance? Tell us point blank what it is you want. Come on you can say it...............

[aasd19]

You obviously have a very low opinion of other people. I actually trust my g/f. If she says she didn't sleep with anyone then she didn't. Fact is if she did she would tell me, because for us it's honesty and trust that binds our relationship, not fear of sexual infidelity.

She would tell you that she slept with someone else? ok