Problems with fiance

[rosanna_6]

I co-own a business with a male friend, and my bf, now fiance, knew about this when we got together. He was never fully ok with the fact that I run a business with a guy.also, because of the business, I have to spend a lot of time with my business partner.
My fiance is now telling me that I must leave my business, otherwise he won't marry me.
What do I do?

[Mr B]

If theres nothing going on then I would personally tell him to get lost. Firstly, he'll think he has control over you, and secondly his possessiveness won't stop if you leave the business. What next? You're not allowed to speak to other men? If you do as he says you'll eventually realise he's not right for you and split anyway...but you won't have a business. At least now you still have a business.

[rosanna_6]

If theres nothing going on then I would personally tell him to get lost. Firstly, he'll think he has control over you, and secondly his possessiveness won't stop if you leave the business. What next? You're not allowed to speak to other men? If you do as he says you'll eventually realise he's not right for you and split anyway...but you won't have a business. At least now you still have a business.

But isn't it natural for a guy to react like that? My fiance said he doesn't know any other woman running a business with a man and he finds it odd, not only because we are together so much, but because I have to go on business trips with my business partner sometimes.

[Mr B]

If theres nothing going on then I would personally tell him to get lost. Firstly, he'll think he has control over you, and secondly his possessiveness won't stop if you leave the business. What next? You're not allowed to speak to other men? If you do as he says you'll eventually realise he's not right for you and split anyway...but you won't have a business. At least now you still have a business.

But isn't it natural for a guy to react like that? My fiance said he doesn't know any other woman running a business with a man and he finds it odd, not only because we are together so much, but because I have to go on business trips with my business partner sometimes.

Natural to be jealous yes...but not that jealous. Does he have any reason to be suspicious of you two? Do you find the other guy attractive?

[rosanna_6]

Natural to be jealous yes...but not that jealous. Does he have any reason to be suspicious of you two? Do you find the other guy attractive?

No, there's no reason to be suspicious. My business partner is a good looking guy, but I don't look at him in a romantic way or want to be involved with him.
He is angry/jealous because I have to spend long hours everyday at work with him, and have to travel with him sometimes.

[Mr B]

If you were in that position before you started going out then he really cant complain.

[rosanna_6]

If you were in that position before you started going out then he really cant complain.

hmm would any man put up with it though?

[rosanna_6]

also, he in general does not believe in platonic relationships, and is therefore disapproving.

[Mr B]

also, he in general does not believe in platonic relationships, and is therefore disapproving.

Thats a ridiculous thing to say about someone you work with. Thats like saying I want to shag every girl in my office. Absolute bollocks.

[Cambridge]

I co-own a business with a male friend, and my bf, now fiance, knew about this when we got together. He was never fully ok with the fact that I run a business with a guy.also, because of the business, I have to spend a lot of time with my business partner.
My fiance is now telling me that I must leave my business, otherwise he won't marry me.
What do I do?

Don't marry him. And forget all these judgments you hear. Theyr'e just grief in the gut. Good luck.

[rosanna_6]

Don't marry him. And forget all these judgments you hear. Theyr'e just grief in the gut. Good luck.

Isn't there any way that I can get him to accept the situation?

[Cambridge]

Don't marry him. And forget all these judgments you hear. Theyr'e just grief in the gut. Good luck.

Isn't there any way that I can get him to accept the situation?

No. Remember the three "P"s of motivation: personal, present and positive. You're trying to violate the first one. It has to come from within him (personal), not you. When you say "...that I can get him to accept..." you're in the losing column already.

If he showed even an inkling of sympathy for your side, there might be something to negotiate. But he’s going out of his way to say to you, ‘it’s my way or the highway’. Good luck with another guy.

[rosanna_6]

Don't marry him. And forget all these judgments you hear. Theyr'e just grief in the gut. Good luck.

Isn't there any way that I can get him to accept the situation?

No. Remember the three "P"s of motivation: personal, present and positive. You're trying to violate the first one. It has to come from within him (personal), not you. When you say "...that I can get him to accept..." you're in the losing column already.

If he showed even an inkling of sympathy for your side, there might be something to negotiate. But he’s going out of his way to say to you, ‘it’s my way or the highway’. Good luck with another guy.

I don't know, some people on another site I post on and he himself keep telling me I won't find a guy who will put up with me working long hours with and travelling with another male. I don't want to go through this again.

[Cambridge]

That's utterly stupid, rosanna. You're obviously a very capable person and capable people don't go long without someone paying attention to them. Of course, he's gonna try to convince you that you can't find anyone better than him...he wants to be proven right. As for those other idiots on the other site, they must have Neander Thal printed on their foreheads. What nonsense!

[rosanna_6]

yeah well, he was saying today that the only reason a man tries to become friends with a woman is when he is attracted with her or wants to sleep with her. That my business partner would probably want to sleep with me at the first opportunity and that male-female friendships are a myth, so he doesn't want me around him(business partner).