Right - I have had enough!

[A Man]

I am a male, 31 years of age and I am short, ugly and very shy. I've never been able to talk to women (on the rare occasions I have in the past I was out of my face on booze or drugs). I hate myself for being ugly and boring enough to repulse women. I mean, by definition I am heterosexual, but my looks and personality stop me from conforming to NATURE! I hate being ugly, and I hate being terrified of women to the point where I can't feel comfortable around them. I'm, in my 30's now - what can I do?

I'm sick of my life passing me by while I am imprisoned in loneliness and celibacy. I'd rather be dead than live like this. Some of the people on here have said that there is nothing wrong with me physically, but I guess that they are just patronising me in order to make me feel better. As soon as I get out of the _ world and into the real world, believe me - women find a helluva lot wrong with me physically. Women have hated me all my life, and I've never had any confidence round them. I only feel safe when they aren't around.

[KitBowman]

I find it completely unlikely that women actually hate you, unless in your self-pitying state you become rude and nasty, and then you can hardly blame them for not being interested.

If however you do your best to be nice and polite and a good guy then maybe you're just not meeting the right women. If you're more confident on the internet then why not sign up to a dating site and see how it goes? That way you can meet someone and build up a friendship and relationship in a way where you find it easier to talk - _ - and then when it comes to meeting in person you might be more confident, or whoever you're meeting will already know something about you and how nervous you are around women and will be more understanding. There's no shame in meeting someone on the internet, you should give it a go.

Stop hating yourself. Your opinion that you are ugly is one you're obiously basing on your failure with women so far but for all you know you're just not trying the right places, or you're going for women who are impossible to get near because its safer than getting involved with someone who might give you a go and then let you down anyway. Cut yourself some slack and stop telling yourself you're 'repulsive' or whatever. Doing that just makes your confidence worse and your ability to talk to women less.

Hope this helps. Really, try internet dating, if this is the best way you find to talk to women then use it to your advantage and find one _

[A Man]

Women have told me that they think I'm ugly all my life, and I'm never rude to them. They just look me up and down like some nerd from a hollywood frat comedy and then laugh at me. I can't take anymore of being a pathetic reject. I'd top myself if I had the courage to do so.

[KitBowman]

There is no 'courage' in suicide. It is the easy way out of a bad situation and there is a lot more courage in getting through life in one piece than getting fed up by a few setbacks and deciding 'it's all so hard, I can't go on'. It takes a lot more courage to go on than to just lie down and give up.

Have women been seriously laughing at you? Or are we talking about maybe one or two a particular group of women you know or once knew. Because I don't believe that every women you meet tells you you're ugly, laughs at you and walks off. People aren't like that. So who was it?

[A Man]

Virtually every women I've spoken to on a night out. Thing is, I don't have that 'spark' or 'charm' that other men have so they are put off by me straight away. The fact that I ming scares me from talking to them in the first place so when I do pluck up the courage, I must look nervous and awkward from the off.

[KitBowman]

What the hell are you doing, asking them if they think you're attractive the second you get a moment with them? Cos thats not a good idea. Give me a rough idea how many women this is -do you actually approach a lot of women, which seems unlikely from your posts, or is this maybe two, three women? Amd what exactly have they said? Are they saying 'no, you're too ugly' or are they saying 'sorry you're not my type' and you're reading into it 'you're ugly'.

[A Man]

An average, I say 'hi' to about 4-5 women a year. They get the 'eeeuurgh - I don't THINK so!' head on staright away and generally do whatever it takes to give me the brush-off.

[KitBowman]

Thats not a large number of women really. Where are you approaching them, clubs, bars?

[A Man]

Yep. And please don't give me the 'Join a basketweaving class. That's the way to meet people' spiel. Where do everybody else meet each other? yes, you've guessed it - in bars, pubs and clubs!

[Paulos]

An average, I say 'hi' to about 4-5 women a year. They get the 'eeeuurgh - I don't THINK so!' head on staright away and generally do whatever it takes to give me the brush-off.

Tell it like it is A Man. Though you could be wasting your breath trying to explain this to a woman, how many of them do the approaching in a pub or club? Though they can do their best to empathise and rationalise the situation they can;t really know how it feels to be an unattractive and short man in the ultra competitive world of meeting people in bars and clubs. And as for internet dating - i recently tried that - contacted 35 women while including a photo of myself on my profile, got 2 replies that went nowhere. Tried another site withholding my photo and 4 out of the 7 i contacted got back to me straight away. Got on REALLY well with them, impressed them with my sense of humour etc, then the moment of sending them a photo - and bang all communication from their end goes dead. But hey - looks aren;t important are they ladies?

[A Man]

Paulos - bingo! That's what happened with me.

[KitBowman]

Well sure a lot of people meet in clubs/pubs/bars and so on but you're obviously not meeting the right sort of women are you? Because if you were they wouldn't be so rude or nasty.

How about at work? Where do you work? Are there any women there you could get to know? It doesn't all have to be with sexual intent, learning to talk to women and having some female friends would help you talk to women you're more interested in.

[Guest]

What are the things that make you ugly, would you say ?

[A Man]

Short, mousy brown hair, big nose, greasy skin, no muscles etc.

[KitBowman]

Though you could be wasting your breath trying to explain this to a woman

Ooh great, more bitter men. Is it possible to post pictures of yourself on this site? Because since you're both so anti-women I'd be interested to see if you're spot on or not about your appearances.

If my advice is worth little though because I happen to be a woman then just say, I can stop replying if you'd rather just swap rejection stories with another guy.