He Says It Doesn't Get As Hard As It Used To

[MarriedMom]

Hi all.

Spoke with my hubby last night and on a rare occasion where he was sharing thoughts, he brought up the topic of him wishing his dick would get as "rock hard" as it used to. Now honestly, I've never had a complaint. He never gets completely flaccid during sex, but it is true, he can soften up a bit in the middle of intercourse. Not so much that he can't cum, however.

Is this a common problem for men? Any of you guys out there not able to get that rock hard erection you used to? My hubby is 39, and he is a smoker, so I have a feeling that may have something to do with it. Poor blood circulation may be a factor.

Any suggestions on ways to improve this problem? Quitting smoking is something we are both trying to do.

TIA

MM

[Sister Cadfael]

I'm not a guy and I hope some of them will respond to you. In my experience it is very common, and quite natural, for mens erections to be less hard the older they get. Doctors will tell you that it's all about hardening of the arteries and the fact that the cellular structure of the penis naturally weakens over the years and blood seeps out quicker than it used to. There are some pills that can help and you can also buy StrapOn dildos

[Donny]

From a male, Sorry to say, it won't get any better, ..quiting smoking and drinking will slow the inevitable , but limp is around the corner, after 1/2 hard for a while. .That and a few other changes are just a part of aging. there are the little pills.. I aint there yet..but, I used to squirt and never slow down, them days are over.

[wimple]

Yup it is inevitable. But Sister C makes some good points.

[Donny]

.I don't buy it, that frequent use of the penis as a youth can cause a man to lose erections later in life. Even some Dr. sez so. Thats like saying a man has only ( X ) numbers of loads to shoot, then they are all gone...

[Sister Cadfael]

:( .I don't buy it, that frequent use of the penis as a youth can cause a man to lose erections later in life. Even some Dr. sez so. Thats like saying a man has only ( X ) numbers of loads to shoot, then they are all gone...

Do it too often and you damage/wear out the cell structure allowing blood to seep back rather than stay in the body of the penis until ejaculation which releases a hormone that makes the penis deflate.

[Mur]

Hi all.

Spoke with my hubby last night and on a rare occasion where he was sharing thoughts, he brought up the topic of him wishing his dick would get as "rock hard" as it used to. Now honestly, I've never had a complaint. He never gets completely flaccid during sex, but it is true, he can soften up a bit in the middle of intercourse. Not so much that he can't cum, however.

I can say as a mlae we have a constant fear of not being able to saitsfy our women completely. However I am single at the moment and every time I have a W*** I try a techniques which simeantto extend the male orgasm, all so I can please a future women at some point. The point isn't to ocus on your own orgasm it's to focus on the other persons!

[Mur]

[quote="Donny"quiting smoking and drinking will slow the inevitable

[Big Ben]

Marriedmom: What your husband says is true. It's part of the natural deterioration that comes with age . That's one reason I have always been mystified by some young women who want men much, much older than they are. True they are richer, but on the other hand....

[Lola]

Your husband shouldn't worry,as it's quite normal.If the sex is still good,who cares if it's not as stiff as the erection of an 18 year old.

However,it's a myth that all old men can't get it up.

[Cala_mity]

Hi Tia,

39 can hardly considered as old, the smoking and drinking will be taking its toll. Saying that, a little alchohol generally helps but carrying on results in unwanted effects - As in limp and unresponsive!

Depends on what he wants, sex or a drink

It might also be a mind thing so you could try the adult mag thing, or perhaps go a buy some adult videos or DVD's. If you don't want the embarrasment of wandering into your local adult shop you can always buy them on-line. I have purchased several naughty DVD's for the other half from www.thepornstore.net which thankfully doesn't have those annoying pop up windows or take over my dialer.

There are loads of different methods you could try on him. Perhaps book a hotel room for a night and re live a meet at a bar with a stranger - Him being the stranger

Hope these ideas set your minds wandering in order liven up the ol sex thing.

Cala

[Exodus]

Being a guy, I can say that this does happen. Its no ones fault really, it just happens. Age, stress, if there are any problems in the relationship, if he is confident, etc will all be factors in it happening. I was with my ex for two and a half years, and after about a year and a half, I noticed that I wasn't going "rock hard" like I used to, but I was under pressure, stress, etc. Sometimes I could, sometimes I couldn't.

[mostirreverent]

Both touch and visual stimuli cause different nerves to then cause the secretion of enzymes and cell mediators that effect the flow of blood into the erectile tissue (cant remember its name). There is also an effect on smooth muscle that controls blood flow. The concentration in the blood of these factors is mediated by testosterone.

So, anything that reduces testosterone (like age) or effects blood flow (smoking) will also affect erections.

MM, from you posts, you sound pretty sane and fun, however, there may be things about you your husband has grown tired of; small sexual irritants, that somehow get in the way of exciting him all the way or just lackadaisical. Just some of the little things in life that when you are young, you hormones just plow over.

Decreased sensitivity can also be a culprit. Sometimes I have to think during the act, as the actual stimulation is not always enough. Yikes, maybe we start out as female embryos and end up like woman in our later years. I know I am as hard as ever in the first moments of sex or play, but can loose some over time. Sometimes I loose interest if the sex goes on too long. I was with a woman that would not come in front of a man (could only through masturbation, alone only). There was never an endpoint. Just like a man, I needed a goal. Sometimes I wasn’t sure why I was there. I would even watch the clock, and laughed to myself once about the joke about “what do women think about during sex?’ the ceiling, I think I’ll paint it to match…

So, your husband may be suffering from age, cigarettes, or thinking to much.

[Susie from London]

I think this is a fairly common problem for the natural "ageing" reasons given. There is a device called the Blakoe Ring which uses electromagnetism to stimulate hormonal increases and whilst I have no first hand or even second hand experience I believe it can help a lot and is probably safer and cheaper than filling your man full of chemicals.

You can probably buy this from female first or search on the internet. There is medical evidence that it works - which is more than you can say for some alternative medicines.

[mostirreverent]

I think this is a fairly common problem for the natural "ageing" reasons given. There is a device called the Blakoe Ring which uses electromagnetism to stimulate hormonal increases and whilst I have no first hand or even second hand experience I believe it can help a lot and is probably safer and cheaper than filling your man full of chemicals.

You can probably buy this from female first or search on the internet. There is medical evidence that it works - which is more than you can say for some alternative medicines.

I don’t buy any of this, but it cant hurt. nor would wearing gold bracelets. then again, there was nothing on the National Institutes of Health (NIH) web site about it.