Screwed up!

[SnowyOne]

Last year I cheated on my boyfriend, and I haven't been able to get away from the guilt I feel about this. I love my boyfriend with ALL my heart, and what I did was very stupid, and immediately regretted. He doesn't know about this.

I am afraid he will leave me when he finds out, and I know I won't be able to take that. We have been together for over 8 years. If I confess I will lose him, and I will feel shame for the rest of my life.

If I keep it a secret I will live with this guilt. It is slowly destroying me because I have not been sleeping or eating well for so long. It comes in waves, some days (like today) I feel horrible, and other days I can put it behind me and move on.
How can deal with this situation?

I feel so terrible.

[DevilSyndrom]

one of two things.... pay the price for your mistake and endure the suffering.

or see if your love for each other is stronger then anything... and admit to your mistake. and yes.. you may loss him. though atleast you would have been honest with him.

[Guest]

speaking as a woman, my thoughts are this.....if my guy (if I had one) had a one off one night stand, I would NOT want to know about it...would tear me apart. But if he had an affair and it happened multiple times and he had a relationship with her, I would want to know and would promptly dump his ass.

Depends on what you did...just my take. If you love him, and want him...and it was a one off, well, take your medicine, live with the guilt and don't tell him. You could lose him, and I believe in honesty, but again if it was a one time screwup on your part, keep your mouth shut. Again, just my take.

If that is the case, I know I wouldn't want to know as I would lose trust and it would cause issues forever...at least for me.

[Midge]

If you're suffering that badly from your guilt, then don't be afraid to tell him. After all, his reaction may surprise you. It could even be positive. I know from personal (very recent) experience, that discovering your partner has cheated on you can have the very opposite effect on you to what you might have expected. There was no anger in my case. Quite the opposite.