Sex and Dating Advice Needed (Urgent)

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Big Ben
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Postby Big Ben on Sat Jan 22, 2005 9:03 pm

mostirreverent wrote:
Big Ben wrote:Well, the two guys here both said they are at least decent looking, so it shouldn't be a factor. If one of them were hideously ugly and a virgin because of it, yes it is unfortunate that society would penalize them for it. But actually it is worse for women than men. Some pretty ugly, fat, balding men can still get great-looking babes, if they are rich enough to make up for their mediocre-to-bad looks. We see this rich man - beautiful woman combination all the time in society.


Is this any different from a hooker?

By the way, I’ve slept with “ugly” woman. All I need is a nice smile and their asking. And yes, I was sober.


Tough question and one that I have wrestled with. I'd say yes and no. There actually is a continuum: hooker, a money-for-looks couple where the two don't care about each other, a money-for-looks couple where the two do care about each other, and finally an "implied contract" marriage where the guy provides security and the woman provides sex. Where do you draw the line on what is socially "acceptable" :? ?

Society generally draws the line between the first and second of the above. I would probably draw the line either there or between the second and third case above. Distinctions can get blurred, however.

For example, I met a bloke who many years ago rescued and married a then-destitute woman from an Eastern European country. He showed me her picture and she was beautiful. They were married for many years, during which time she freely spent his money. Then she suddenly left him in the most cold fashion. She said that she didn't love him and not only that, but that she had never loved him :cry:. She wasn't even grateful or appreciative of all that he had done for her :shock: .

That is why your question is difficult to answer :( .

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mostirreverent
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Postby mostirreverent on Sun Jan 23, 2005 7:38 am

FRECKELMANIA wrote:Apart from most 'hookers' at stag does are actually strippers (if they choose totake money for sex it is ont heir own time) - i am married to a gentleman who works in the city - long hours and his lifestyle is the kind you say that hookers are easiest. I happen to disagree ...being married to that type of man and knowing his friends they are repelled at the thought of going and paying for sex - now you may well bring up the argument of firt dates where they wine and dine the ladies and sleep with them - and may possible argue that it can be classed as up market prostituion - but these woman do it becasue they want to not becasue like a 'normal hooker' who have to to get by.

All i was saying int he last post is no matter how safe and confident you feel after being with a hooker - like i said you will find very few woman who will appreciate that you have been there. Why do so many marriages break up when woman find out their husband went to a hooker before they were married or even on their stag do - becasue it is down right nasty in our eyes. ( okay sorry ladies if i am generalising - please let me know if none of you would be offened and i will take back what i said for you personally)

Men saying that they felt unconfident before going to hooker becasue they were virgins has nothing to do with what the female in their life thinks - it is dictated by those male mates around him who go on about what woman do and dont like..... you ave heard on this post that the majority of ladies have said they would appreciate honesty from a bloke rather than them seeing a hooker - does that not tell you osmething about a womans mentality - IT IS NOT A BIG DEAL TO US IF YOU ARE A VIRGIN - just dont lie, cheat or break our hearts that all we ask.

Honesty is the only truth in love.

tc xx



I was only countering your statement that it was insecure males that went to hookers. I was thinking more about single men. Obviously a wife would not appreciate a hooker or any other woman. A stag hooker would not be appreciated because the man was engaged at the time. I guess I really meant as a right of passage a couple of guys on a trip to the city or the like, in their late teens. I guess I assume that most males will have a checkered sexual past. Throw in a hooker to the mix and it could all be chalked up to being a guy. Why else would there be so many hookers. Somebody has to be seeing them.

Other posters here mentioned the effect of confidence about sexual prowess from being with a hooker. I did not mean to suggest this. My only point is that there will be gained a confidence from simply not being labeled as a virgin. The original poster feels bad about being one. If he no longer is one after the hooker, then at least one burden has been overcome.
I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices.
Mark Twain

A place for everything, and everything all about the place.
Mosty
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FRECKELMANIA
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Postby FRECKELMANIA on Mon Jan 24, 2005 11:45 am

Now i understand where you are coming from and like you said you didnt mean to give the wrong impression - if a man feels more guilty about being a virgin than have been with a hooker then tht is their choice and i understand all that you have said and suppose as a female i dont see it as that much of a rite of passages - all i am saying though is be sure that you want your first time to be with someone you have to pay - doesnt that make you feel like the only woman who would want to slee with you has to be paid - yes there are brilliant upsides to a hooker - you are no longer a virgin - but the downside is not one many men might think- self doubt - becaue you couldnt in your eyes get anyone else to sleep with you and so you had to pay - a poster on here said earlier - everytime is like your first time... you cant run away from it by going to a hooker, if everytime is like your first time embrace it with your partner - you should be relaxed enough in a relationship and if you are thinking about having sex there has to be trust love, understand ing and fun and if they arent there you have to ask yourself is the sexual side of the relationship worth it? tc xx

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mostirreverent
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Postby mostirreverent on Tue Jan 25, 2005 5:39 am

hey freck, you're a lot of fun
I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices.
Mark Twain

A place for everything, and everything all about the place.
Mosty
Me in the Flesh

FRECKELMANIA
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Postby FRECKELMANIA on Tue Jan 25, 2005 2:34 pm

u being sarcastic or nice? xx

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mostirreverent
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Postby mostirreverent on Wed Jan 26, 2005 5:04 am

Nice. I am usually a bit more obvious when being sarcastic. You have said nothing that would elicit sarcasm. Is there a sincerity emoticon?
I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices.
Mark Twain

A place for everything, and everything all about the place.
Mosty
Me in the Flesh

FRECKELMANIA
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Joined: Wed Jan 12, 2005 2:45 pm

Postby FRECKELMANIA on Mon Jan 31, 2005 12:32 pm

GLAD TO HEAR YOU ARE A FAIRLY FORWARD THINKING GUY!

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