sex clubs/ swinging

[Guest]

hi everyone!

i have been to sex clubs and had a couple of threesomes. but this was in my past. ive never gotten involved with this with any of my serious boyfriends. its always been more of a casual think with friends.

now i want to swing with a new man in my life. but im at a point where i want more than a sex relationship with this guy. i actually want it to become a real commited relationship. at this point we are casually dating. im wondering if its better to wait and swing with him if we become more serious. or do you all think its ok to swing with someone who is new in your life?

i think if its a serious relationship then you have a trust there. if its new, there could be concern, worry, jealousy, no matter how good the sex is. any ideas?

ive noticed as ive gotten a little older i feel more conservative. i really want a long lasting loving relationship. but the fact that i love sex and experimenting can sometimes cause sticky situations. so should i swing with him now, or wait and see if we become more serious?

thanks in advance!
-kat

[lil*minx]

Best to talk it over with him and see what he thinks. If he isn't into those things then you need to decide how important it or he is to you.

[Deej]

agree...can be a bit of a test unless the relationship is on a very sound footing

[Lena]

Amazing , I'm in the same spot . If you figure out an awnser please let me know.

[krazikat]

im still working on it! for some reason when i posted the original question. my name didnt show up. weird.

anyway. we are possibly going to a sex club this weekend just as voyeurs. i decided that i will not swing and have any penetration by another man with my new guy around. im not ready for that. our relationship is still new and non commital as of yet. i think i may enjoy if we both had sex with another women. but im not sure. it depends how i feel at the time. i dont want to be a sex toy to him, id rather be an open minded girlfriend, partner, etc.

apparently the place hes interested in is very hardcore. ive never been there. ive been to other places that were more fetish clubs, or dance clubs with sex. this place is just sex from what i hear. sex everywhere. not sure how clean that is. im a sterile type of girl.

hows your situation turning out?

-kat

>>>Amazing , I'm in the same spot . If you figure out an awnser please let me know.

[Lena]

Hi , Good luck . I want to , but gf doesn't right now . I have to go along since I love her and also don't want to do anything that could cause trouble.We'll see........Good luck with you adventure. .

[paparazzi]

can i ask, which sex club do you go to?
and address plz..

would love to visit myself.

cheers in advance.
ciao

[krazikat]

i dont think it would do you much good. im in ny and you are in london. unless youre coming for a visit. let me know and ill get you tons of links and stuff.

-kat

[Monte Fazon]

Krazikat, I'm in NY and would be curious where you are going as well. Is it a NY club, or a CT club. I was at one in CT (initials LT) a few months back, and it was off the hook. I'm interested to know of any other clubs in the NY area that you can recommend.

[krazikat]

the clubs i know of are in nyc and long island: le trapeze, paddles, one leg up, flesh theater, and couples. they all have websites except the first one.

-kat

[WALLY77]

Make sure to tell him how many partners/multiple partners you have had.
Then he has no illusions as to who he is dating!

[Sam_oz]

i cant really see how the number of people shes slept with previously is important, unless he makes it an issue (which some guys cant handle)

it seems to be a situation that has its pitfalls no matter what you do...

on one hand, the relationship is still early, if you jump into this too fast, he may think youre going to constantly be unfaithful, or may see it as a green light to be unfaithful himself (and by unfaithful, i more mean sex outside the relationship without the knowledge/blessing)... it can also be stressful as it may give the other the impression that theyre not commited to the relationship...

on the other hand, if you wait until youre more attatched and stable with each other - the fact he may want to have sex with other women, or you with other men may play on yours/his insecurities, and there may become a fear that one of you will find someone else they like better...

the obvious thing, is that talking about it is a good place to start... id probably suggest not becoming physically involved in swinging until youre on a stronger base in the relationship, however, stay involved with the culture, and tell each other what it is about swinging that turns you on...


having said that though, as much as id love to invite another girl to bed, its not something i have ever done, and not something my fiance has done while in a serious relationship, so im not sure how on the ball i am

[eroneus]

krazykat -
As it is a new relationship - you would be best discussing interests in voyeurism/sharing etc.. after you relationship is established. Bring up the subject after an intimate moment when you've made love ..
Certainly best to attend as simple voyeurs first. - IF he wants to watch or even visit.
Some men are very shy// unable to become erect with others around (especially other men)- let alone join in..etc .. Be careful it could ruin your relationship unless you ar e quite sure he would enjoy.
Good luck whatever your decision