Should I wear a skirt to please my boyfriend?

[Mixed_up_Miss]

Hi thanks,

[i]As a trousers-girl until now this advice is so, so useful! I already bought myself a couple of cheap A-line skirts, but I definitely need some more comfortable, practical full skirts for housework etc. Not the sort of thing that interests my boyfriend – you are quite right – but I will insist that he buys me some! I don’t have any slips but they do sound a good idea for all the reasons you mention plus winter warmth! Which do you think are better, full slips or waist slips?

I usually wear a full slip under a dress and a half slip under a skirt. M & S have some realy nice simple plain ones. The important thing is to get the length right so that in your mother's (or grandmother's) words "make sure your slip doesn't show". My husband only really likes me to wear very simple and plain white underwear and I don't like to show the outline of my bra under a top so camisole tops are really useful and you can get some nice ones to match a half slip.

If your boyfriend is anything like my other half he may not show particular interest in your everyday clothes but he will be really pleased and impressed that you are thinking about how to dress in a feminine way even for the housework ! Most women wear a skirt when they dress up, but revert to jeans to walk the dog, that's what he doesn't want you to have to do.

I’m starting to realise that my underwear requirements are now more complicated that basic bra and <A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/' target='_blank'><A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/' target='_blank'>knickers</A></A>. But thanks, it’s REALLY useful advice – I’ll add some full slips and half slips to the top of my shopping list!

Can I ask you another question please? What in your opinion are the most practical and comfortable kind of <A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'><A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'>nylon</A></A> / hosiery for all day everyday wear?

[/i]

I wear opaque <A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'>tights</A> in winter and for housework, etc and then natural or back <A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'>tights</A> for going out. Like most men my husband would love me to wear <A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'>stockings</A> but I tend to keep these for special occasions. When you wear them all the time you need to keep an eye to the cost (as someone else pointed out) so I stick to supermarket stuff mostly.

Aside from keeping warm and avoiding looking horribly pale without a tan, I guess the main point about the bare-legged issue is to do with modesty. Some men want their women to wear short skirts etc to look tarty, which is in my view exploitative, shows a lack of respect and is often only short term. My husband (and by the sound of it your boyfriend) wants me to look and behave as a lady and he hates me to show too much flesh. Hence modest underwear, knee length (or longer) skirts, swimsuits not bikinis etc. Personally I like it as it makes your private relationship with your man more special. Remember dressing in a uniquely feminine way is something special which only you can do for him, yes it tends to make you behave in a more feminine way, but the point is to be different not inferior.

There are also loads of great casual skirts and dresses about so with the help of his credit card you should have fun. The last time I wore a pair of trousers was to ski nearly 4 years ago and I must say that hardly anyone ever remarks about never seeing me wearing them, so you will soon forget.

To the girl whose husband has got the bug, don’t worry, it sounds like you are half way there already, my other half loved it when I finally took the plunge.[/quote]

My boyfriend definitely expects me to be ladylike as well as feminine. All the dresses and skirts he’s bought me are knee length or below which proves he respects me, and I’ll show respect for him by wearing them. He’s always treated me like a lady; he takes me out, he looks after me and pays for me, he buys me flowers and chocolates, opens doors, gives me his seat etc.

[Mixed_up_Miss]

I’m starting to realise the scale of this makeover – all I’ll be keeping are some bras and blouses, but as someone said, men are only interested in the ‘pretty’ clothes. The day-to-day clothes I’ll need don’t interest him nearly as much, so long as they are skirts! We had a big discussion over the weekend and I laid down my minimum requirements for going skirts-only. I could see his face falling but he has agreed to give me a credit card (he won’t come shopping with me for all this). I’ll take some time off to shop and if all goes according to plan we’ll get rid of all my trousers next weekend. If I’ve forgotten anything vital, please let me know. I’m really grateful for advice from ladies who’ve had a similar experience.

I currently have 2 skirts that are suitable for housework etc. I want 2 more full skirts plus 2 or 3 aprons.
I’m completely bereft of casual skirts and dresses. I need at least 3 or 4 straightaway. Apart from a fuller denim skirt I’m not even sure what I want. Any suggestions?
I currently have 2 suits for work. I need at least 2 plain grey skirts and about half a dozen plain white blouses.
I’ll need a couple of sports skirts or dresses for badminton and the gym.
I need a minimum of 2 or 3 more nighties.
I only have the one girdle. If he expects me to wear them at weekends etc, then I’ll need at least 2 more (+ stockings).
I need full slips and half slips, plain white underwear and lots more stockings.

Very soon I’ll have to think about formal dresses for Christmas parties, and the business and client dos he expects me to attend, together with all the shoes, accessories etc. He wants us to have a very traditional relationship but he’s finding out that traditional femininity doesn’t come cheap!

[Mixed_up_Miss]

Can I ask, does your boyfriend choose what you wear when you go out or can you wear what you like. Pitty you can't wear a pair of jeans of the weekend. I do find wearing a skirt, tights, etc takes sooo much longer than a pair of jeans.
Currently he tells me what to wear when he takes me out. In the future I want to make these decisions, although I’ll continue to ask his opinion.

I’ve always been ultra casual about my appearance and I’m starting to realise how much more complicated my life is getting. I’m exchanging comfy jeans and trainers for tight or voluminous skirts, slips, girdles, garters, stockings and high heals. I’ll have to shave my legs more often (groan). I guess I’ll have to pay more attentions to my hair, make up, shoes and accessories. Wish you hadn’t reminded me…

Wearing jeans at the weekend would give me a break but he won’t stand it it. It is when we spend whole days together so I guess I understand his attitude, and if wear dresses and skirts all the time I’ll get used to them quicker – that’s what he says anyway.

Why do you think your bf makes you wear hoisery. Weird this, but I found a lot men like their women in tights or stockings. They don't have to wear them! Do you wear opaques or patterned tights?
I agree 100% that if men had to shrink-wrap their own legs in stretchy nylon they’d lose interest in tights and stockings PDQ! I think his attitude is a bit muddled. He says that hosiery shows off my legs to their best advantage but also that bare legs are “a little bit unladylike” (his words). He definitely doesn’t like me showing too much flesh in public so I think it’s basically a modesty issue.

As soon as I mentioned slips, he said I should start wearing them ASAP. I can see that they are pretty much essential with thin, white or floaty skirts.

Currently I’ve got the traditional seamed stockings he bought me plus some basic supermarket tights – nothing opaque or patterned. What I now need are tights / stockings that match my skirts and shoes.

What type of skirts do you wear for the weekend. I like just casual denim skirts, more comfy at least. Hey, just read back that you now wear skirts to work. Hope this working out okay. Keep warm!
I have a denim skirt he bought me, but it is too narrow to be relaxed or comfortable, and couple of basic A-line skirts I bought when I was visiting my Mum. Wearing a skirt to work is OK but all I have at the moment are 2 suits – one dark grey and one navy blue.

[47W11MMS]

If you are weaing skirts all the time go for comfort, comfort, comfort, the same goes with tights or are you going to wear stockings. Personally I think garters and stockings is OTT 24/7, but that is just me.

Slips are going to be an essential part of your survival kit as are (excuse repeating) comfortable shoes, but I am sure you know all this.

Some guys insist on really fancy panties, this may be fine for a one off but everyday it is not going to work. My 2 cents worth, wear warm tights or stockings, to keep warm and below knee length skirts if you are going out, perhaps knee length around the house.

Does you bf have any preferences on nightdresses. I usually wear a lace trim chemise or nightdress, anything with frills on my partner likes.

Regarding hoisery, get some solid colour opaques, they keep your warm, unless your bf insisits on thinner nylon stockings. I live in 60 denier tights froms M&S.

[SkirtMaster]

Do you have a fireplace? I think a trouser-burning party would be a nice way to make a clean break from your past.

[Guest]

I’m starting to realise the scale of this makeover – all I’ll be keeping are some bras and blouses, but as someone said, men are only interested in the ‘pretty’ clothes. The day-to-day clothes I’ll need don’t interest him nearly as much, so long as they are skirts! We had a big discussion over the weekend and I laid down my minimum requirements for going skirts-only. I could see his face falling but he has agreed to give me a credit card (he won’t come shopping with me for all this). I’ll take some time off to shop and if all goes according to plan we’ll get rid of all my trousers next weekend. If I’ve forgotten anything vital, please let me know. I’m really grateful for advice from ladies who’ve had a similar experience.

I currently have 2 skirts that are suitable for housework etc. I want 2 more full skirts plus 2 or 3 aprons.
I’m completely bereft of casual skirts and dresses. I need at least 3 or 4 straightaway. Apart from a fuller denim skirt I’m not even sure what I want. Any suggestions?
I currently have 2 suits for work. I need at least 2 plain grey skirts and about half a dozen plain white blouses.
I’ll need a couple of sports skirts or dresses for badminton and the gym.
I need a minimum of 2 or 3 more nighties.
I only have the one girdle. If he expects me to wear them at weekends etc, then I’ll need at least 2 more (+ <A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'>stockings</A>).
I need full slips and half slips, plain white underwear and lots more <A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'>stockings</A>.

Very soon I’ll have to think about formal dresses for Christmas parties, and the business and client dos he expects me to attend, together with all the shoes, accessories etc. He wants us to have a very traditional relationship but he’s finding out that traditional femininity doesn’t come cheap!

Once you get used to it there is no reason why skirts and dresses should not be as practical and comfortable as your old ‘tomboy’ wardrobe. The important thing is to have enough variety to stop you from getting bored, to have practical outfits for everyday and buy clothes that suit your stile and don’t look frumpy. I have two small children so believe me it has to be practical !

Since you are moving in, the obvious thing is not to take any unsuitable clothes (trousers jeans etc) with you and ensure that you buy a new things as you need them. Have fun with him buying the dressy things and just establish some basic rules (length, particular colour preferences etc for the rest) you can then buy these as you need them.

Generally the longer and fuller a skirt is the easier and more comfortable it is for housework etc. Casual dresses are great (an outfit in one) he will love them and with a full slip they are both pretty warm and comfortable. Denim is fine but a bit boring and stiff. You sound as if you have it sussed for work. The sport thing is difficult, particularly if your boyfriend doesn’t want you to show too much (he will might love to see you at home in a short skirt but not want you to go out in it !) I used to wear a dress with white track suit bottoms (or shorts in summer) and my husband would insist I changed immediately I was off court.

Nightdresses depend on taste, my husband likes long white and traditional but you bf may like something more racy. Girdles and other “traditional corsetry” are again a matter of taste and comfort, great at times, but mostly I just wear very modest white briefs a full cup bra a camisole and or a full slip if the skirt / dress demands it. I agree opaque tights / stockings or ‘hold ups’ in winter, thinner nylon for the summer and maybe bare legged in that lovely sundress when he takes you on holiday !

One very good thing about making a clean break and (as has been suggested) “burning” your trousers, is that it will help you to move, walk and above all sit in a more feminine way. Which in turn makes you behave more as a lady, which is what he wants. This combined with your new domestic role will reinforce your separate ‘male female’ relationship.

[Guest]

Your boyfreind is right when he says you should start wearing slips under your skirts ASAP. He obviously doesn't want you showing everything off to the whole world!

Can I ask, does your boyfriend choose what you wear when you go out or can you wear what you like. Pitty you can't wear a pair of jeans of the weekend. I do find wearing a skirt, <A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'>tights</A>, etc takes sooo much longer than a pair of jeans.
Currently he tells me what to wear when he takes me out. In the future I want to make these decisions, although I’ll continue to ask his opinion.

I’ve always been ultra casual about my appearance and I’m starting to realise how much more complicated my life is getting. I’m exchanging comfy jeans and trainers for tight or voluminous skirts, slips, girdles, garters, <A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'>stockings</A> and high heals. I’ll have to shave my legs more often (groan). I guess I’ll have to pay more attentions to my hair, make up, shoes and accessories. Wish you hadn’t reminded me…

Wearing jeans at the weekend would give me a break but he won’t stand it it. It is when we spend whole days together so I guess I understand his attitude, and if wear dresses and skirts all the time I’ll get used to them quicker – that’s what he says anyway.

Why do you think your bf makes you wear hoisery. Weird this, but I found a lot men like their women in <A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'>tights</A> or <A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'>stockings</A>. They don't have to wear them! Do you wear opaques or patterned <A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'>tights</A>?
I agree 100% that if men had to shrink-wrap their own legs in stretchy <A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'>nylon</A> they’d lose interest in <A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'>tights</A> and <A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'>stockings</A> PDQ! I think his attitude is a bit muddled. He says that hosiery shows off my legs to their best advantage but also that bare legs are “a little bit unladylike” (his words). He definitely doesn’t like me showing too much flesh in public so I think it’s basically a modesty issue.

As soon as I mentioned slips, he said I should start wearing them ASAP. I can see that they are pretty much essential with thin, white or floaty skirts.

Currently I’ve got the traditional seamed <A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'>stockings</A> he bought me plus some basic supermarket <A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'>tights</A> – nothing opaque or patterned. What I now need are <A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'>tights</A> / <A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'>stockings</A> that match my skirts and shoes.

What type of skirts do you wear for the weekend. I like just casual denim skirts, more comfy at least. Hey, just read back that you now wear skirts to work. Hope this working out okay. Keep warm!
I have a denim skirt he bought me, but it is too narrow to be relaxed or comfortable, and couple of basic A-line skirts I bought when I was visiting my Mum. Wearing a skirt to work is OK but all I have at the moment are 2 suits – one dark grey and one navy blue.

[Emma J]

I'm sure it would give you a break to wear jeans or trousers sometimes at weekends. I can see your boyfriends point that weekends are when you are both together but it seems a pity he doesn't want to compromise as skirts are not always the most practical thing to wear around the house. It must feel very strange going from your typical tomboy clothes of jeans, socks. trianers etc to skirts, stockings & slips but I'm sure you'll be fine once you get used to it.

[Guest]

"He seems to regard getting me into skirts as a matter of principal. He says trousers are unfeminine and that wearing a skirt or a dress encourages a girl to be feminine. He says that how we dress helps to define our distinct roles as men and women. So I don’t think he’ll allow me to wear trousers, even at weekends, any time soon."

Can I add a pespective from a like minded man. I entirely agree with your boyfriend. The whole point is that you want a traditional relationship where both partners have clearly defined complimentary roles and respect each other for fulfilling those roles. It is not for everyone, but it generally works very well if both parties are happy with it.

How you dress is important because firstly it shows that you want to please him (and wanting to please each other is a vital part of any relationship) and secondly shows your acceptance of your role. He wants you to look and act like a lady so that he can treat you like one. It’s not a case of escaping for the weekend to be a ‘tomboy’ in jeans. I ‘m sure that he understands that the transition is a bit of a shock and carries some practical difficulties whilst you get used to it and he is clearly prepared to pay to ensure that you have everything you need. My girlfriend (now wife) and I went through this (she has been fascinated by this thread), admittedly over a period of years, largely because I didn’t have the nerve to tell her what I really wanted. Now she wears nothing but skirts and dresses, which she chooses herself and looks great. She almost always wears tights or (when I’m lucky) stockings and chooses pretty but very modest underwear, nightdresses etc.

I’m sure he would now want you to take over lead in terms of your femininity and especially your modesty. When you move in, treat it as a clean break, don’t bring anything unsuitable with you and enjoy you new role. Part of this for a man is wanting to respect and protect you and in the old fashioned sense ‘put you on a pedestal’. He will not want to imagine that you have any sort of ‘past’ and he will want you to dress so as to make it clear that you want to please him and keep yourself special for him and only him. Some blokes like skirts for “access” and because they want you to look like tart, but he is clearly not that way inclined. In my view modesty is an absolutely key part of femininity and is (among other things) extremely sexy. So when you buy clothes / underwear / nightdresses etc always tend towards the modest (not frumpy and old fashioned but modest). I’m sure he will much prefer it if you tend to want to cover more than necessary rather than less. It is a ‘man thing’ to always want to get a glimpse of more of something which is covered. If you feel that you will be embarrassed doing something in a skirt / dress tell him and discuss what you could wear that would make you feel comfortable. In the end if you think it shows too much don’t wear it or do it.

Hope that helps, he’s a lucky guy !

[Mixed_up_Miss]

Thank you for the latest set of replies. There was a lot of common ground so I hope non one will be offended by a common reply.

For everyday wear in the home, evenings and weekends I’m going for fuller, more comfortable skirts and dresses, slips and thicker tights. He likes to see me in thinner nylon so the tights may be a problem.

The nightdresses he gave me are very frilly and girly. He likes me to wear plain white underwear so I don’t think he’ll object to some simpler and longer white nighties.

He will definitely object if I show too much skin in public. I think that a sports skirt over opaque white lycra tights might be best for the gym.

It must feel very strange going from your typical tomboy clothes of jeans, socks, trainers etc to skirts, stockings & slips but I'm sure you'll be fine once you get used to it.

I know that looking and feeling more feminine can’t do me any harm, but it is quite a challenge for a died-in-the-wool tomboy to adapt to dresses, skirts, slips and stockings almost overnight. When I’m actually with my boyfriend wearing a dress or a skirt is OK. I know they are perfectly normal girl’s clothes but I can still find them quite constraining and objectionable when he isn’t around. Just as you say though, I’m sure I’ll get used to it. At work today I was very aware of my skirt, but I tried telling myself that it shows I’m a girlfriend and I started feeling better!

One very good thing about making a clean break and (as has been suggested) “burning” your trousers, is that it will help you to move, walk and above all sit in a more feminine way. Which in turn makes you behave more as a lady, which is what he wants. This combined with your new domestic role will reinforce your separate ‘male female’ relationship.

Now I’m in skirts I have to become much more meticulous about shaving my legs, sittings with my knees together etc. Tight skirts and high heals will improve my posture and my walk. I need to regard all this as positive. I’m no domestic goddess so I’ll have to improve my housework skills, but once I’m looking after him in the home, doing all the cooking and washing and ironing and cleaning, I’ll be making a real contribution.

[Louise Jones5]

Thank you for the latest set of replies. There was a lot of common ground so I hope non one will be offended by a common reply.

For everyday wear in the home, evenings and weekends I’m going for fuller, more comfortable skirts and dresses, slips and thicker <A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'>tights</A>. He likes to see me in thinner <A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'>nylon</A> so the <A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'>tights</A> may be a problem.

The nightdresses he gave me are very frilly and girly. He likes me to wear plain white underwear so I don’t think he’ll object to some simpler and longer white nighties.

He will definitely object if I show too much skin in public. I think that a sports skirt over opaque white lycra <A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'>tights</A> might be best for the gym.

It must feel very strange going from your typical tomboy clothes of jeans, socks, trainers etc to skirts, <A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'>stockings</A> & slips but I'm sure you'll be fine once you get used to it.

I know that looking and feeling more feminine can’t do me any harm, but it is quite a challenge for a died-in-the-wool tomboy to adapt to dresses, skirts, slips and <A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'>stockings</A> almost overnight. When I’m actually with my boyfriend wearing a dress or a skirt is OK. I know they are perfectly normal girl’s clothes but I can still find them quite constraining and objectionable when he isn’t around. Just as you say though, I’m sure I’ll get used to it. At work today I was very aware of my skirt, but I tried telling myself that it shows I’m a girlfriend and I started feeling better!

One very good thing about making a clean break and (as has been suggested) “burning” your trousers, is that it will help you to move, walk and above all sit in a more feminine way. Which in turn makes you behave more as a lady, which is what he wants. This combined with your new domestic role will reinforce your separate ‘male female’ relationship.

Now I’m in skirts I have to become much more meticulous about shaving my legs, sittings with my knees together etc. Tight skirts and high heals will improve my posture and my walk. I need to regard all this as positive. I’m no domestic goddess so I’ll have to improve my housework skills, but once I’m looking after him in the home, doing all the cooking and washing and ironing and cleaning, I’ll be making a real contribution.

If your boyfriend didn't like you wearing something you chose, like for example you mentioned he preferes thinner hoisery would he make you wear thinner tights or stockings. I have just read this discussion and found it to be very informative.

Regarding gym wear has he suggested you wear white lyrca leggings or told you that is what you must wear because of modesty.

How do you feel about the frilly nightdress. As this is nightwear I suppose its not too bad.

Getting into housework - how does this connect with things. Was this his suggestion that your contribution should be through domestic chores like cooking and cleaning.

From one tomboy to another I have got some very good advice. My (rather new boyfriend, dating for 4 months) wants me to wear a dress or skirt more often and has also said I should do some cleaning around the house whilst he does more manly jobs like tree cutting. I have never worn an apron since school cooking class but for this weekend I will give it a go and agree to wear what he chooses and also be the houswife he so badly wants. I have yet to find out what he wants me to wear though...

[Guest]

I have been reading this with interest as I kind of come at it from another angle. I’m in my late 20ies and don’t have a serious boyfriend at present, but I have worn skirts and dresses pretty well 24/7 since leaving uni. I do have a couple of pair of jogging pants and I ride so I have some jodhpurs for that, but apart from that just skirts. I never knew it was quite so un-usual or such a problem ! I guess everyone I know is pretty used to it so they don’t really notice.

The tights thing is mostly just practical and I guess I rarely go entirely without, except if its very warm in summer. I rarely wear anything much ‘above the knee’ but if I do tend to wear opaques to cover up a bit.

I’m pretty independent now, but the long term plan is for a husband, kids etc so looks like I shall have a head start !

[Mixed_up_Miss]

Thank you for the latest set of replies. There was a lot of common ground so I hope non one will be offended by a common reply.

For everyday wear in the home, evenings and weekends I’m going for fuller, more comfortable skirts and dresses, slips and thicker <A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'><A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'>tights</A></A>. He likes to see me in thinner <A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'><A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'>nylon</A></A> so the <A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'><A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'>tights</A></A> may be a problem.

The nightdresses he gave me are very frilly and girly. He likes me to wear plain white underwear so I don’t think he’ll object to some simpler and longer white nighties.

He will definitely object if I show too much skin in public. I think that a sports skirt over opaque white lycra <A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'><A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'>tights</A></A> might be best for the gym.

It must feel very strange going from your typical tomboy clothes of jeans, socks, trainers etc to skirts, <A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'><A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'>stockings</A></A> & slips but I'm sure you'll be fine once you get used to it.

I know that looking and feeling more feminine can’t do me any harm, but it is quite a challenge for a died-in-the-wool tomboy to adapt to dresses, skirts, slips and <A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'><A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'>stockings</A></A> almost overnight. When I’m actually with my boyfriend wearing a dress or a skirt is OK. I know they are perfectly normal girl’s clothes but I can still find them quite constraining and objectionable when he isn’t around. Just as you say though, I’m sure I’ll get used to it. At work today I was very aware of my skirt, but I tried telling myself that it shows I’m a girlfriend and I started feeling better!

One very good thing about making a clean break and (as has been suggested) “burning” your trousers, is that it will help you to move, walk and above all sit in a more feminine way. Which in turn makes you behave more as a lady, which is what he wants. This combined with your new domestic role will reinforce your separate ‘male female’ relationship.

Now I’m in skirts I have to become much more meticulous about shaving my legs, sittings with my knees together etc. Tight skirts and high heals will improve my posture and my walk. I need to regard all this as positive. I’m no domestic goddess so I’ll have to improve my housework skills, but once I’m looking after him in the home, doing all the cooking and washing and ironing and cleaning, I’ll be making a real contribution.

If your boyfriend didn't like you wearing something you chose, like for example you mentioned he preferes thinner hoisery would he make you wear thinner <A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'>tights</A> or <A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'>stockings</A>. I have just read this discussion and found it to be very informative.

Regarding gym wear has he suggested you wear white lyrca leggings or told you that is what you must wear because of modesty.

How do you feel about the frilly nightdress. As this is nightwear I suppose its not too bad.

Getting into housework - how does this connect with things. Was this his suggestion that your contribution should be through domestic chores like cooking and cleaning.

From one tomboy to another I have got some very good advice. My (rather new boyfriend, dating for 4 months) wants me to wear a dress or skirt more often and has also said I should do some cleaning around the house whilst he does more manly jobs like tree cutting. I have never worn an apron since school cooking class but for this weekend I will give it a go and agree to wear what he chooses and also be the houswife he so badly wants. I have yet to find out what he wants me to wear though...

Hi Louise,

It’s nice to hear from another tomboy who is in a similar situation. We must have heaps in common!

If your boyfriend didn't like you wearing something you chose, like for example you mentioned he prefers thinner hosiery would he make you wear thinner tights or stockings. I have just read this discussion and found it to be very informative.

I’m starting to wear dresses and skirts because he doesn’t like girls wearing trousers. But provided I follow his rules, I expect a reasonable degree of freedom. If I explain that thin nylon are not warm enough for cold weather I’m sure he won’t insist – he isn’t a tyrant or a dictator at the end of the day!

Regarding gym wear has he suggested you wear white lyrca leggings or told you that is what you must wear because of modesty.

It was my idea – I’m trying to anticipate what he wants without asking him every little detail.

How do you feel about the frilly nightdress? As this is nightwear I suppose its not too bad.

When he first gave it to me I nearly had a fit! He was kind of clever though. The bedroom is a special place but getting me into that nightie broke my resistance to dresses and skirts. Frilly pink nylon is yucky, but if it turns him on I guess it’s OK!!!

Getting into housework - how does this connect with things. Was this his suggestion that your contribution should be through domestic chores like cooking and cleaning.

I may be a tomboy but I want a man, babies and a nice home. I’d love to be a Mrs. He’s the boss – he takes me out, he pays (I’m not complaining!), he makes the big decisions and even tells me what to wear! If I keep his place clean, wash his clothes and look after the kitchen then I’ll be making my own contribution – if I look after him in the home he’ll like having me around. You should see his clothes and state of his house – typical man! He really needs a girl to look after him.

He believes in traditional gender roles. He has been very open and honest. He is a strong leader and provider, and he wants a traditional, feminine housewife. I guess he sees skirts and housework as 2 ways of curbing my tomboy tendencies and teaching me to be more feminine!

From one tomboy to another I have got some very good advice. My (rather new boyfriend, dating for 4 months) wants me to wear a dress or skirt more often and has also said I should do some cleaning around the house whilst he does more manly jobs like tree cutting. I have never worn an apron since school cooking class but for this weekend I will give it a go and agree to wear what he chooses and also be the housewife he so badly wants. I have yet to find out what he wants me to wear though...

So you are going to put on a frilly apron and spend a weekend at the ironing board and the kitchen sink! Sounds like a good move! Do let me know how it goes! Is this how you see your future or is it a one-off? As a tomboy, how so you feel about housework and how do you feel about skirts? Do you wear them much already?

[Guest]

I have been reading this with interest as I kind of come at it from another angle. I’m in my late 20ies and don’t have a serious boyfriend at present, but I have worn skirts and dresses pretty well 24/7 since leaving uni. I do have a couple of pair of jogging pants and I ride so I have some jodhpurs for that, but apart from that just skirts. I never knew it was quite so un-usual or such a problem ! I guess everyone I know is pretty used to it so they don’t really notice.

The <A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'>tights</A> thing is mostly just practical and I guess I rarely go entirely without, except if its very warm in summer. I rarely wear anything much ‘above the knee’ but if I do tend to wear opaques to cover up a bit.

I’m pretty independent now, but the long term plan is for a husband, kids etc so looks like I shall have a head start !

You sound very feminine, ladylike and modest - just what lots of men value in a wife. Hope things go well for you.

[Guest]

I think this is a really interesting discussion, which raises a lot of questions on male/female relationships. And things I have been thinking about regarding my wife.

My wife is not dressing very feminine. I asked her often to dress more feminine in certain situations, but she refuses. In a way I do respect that since I think she should decide what to wear herself on the other hand she wants me to tread me like a lady and that feels difficult for me since she is not dressing lika a lady.

What bothers me in this discussion though is that the male female distinction also counts other areas, like housekeeping. You write he wants you to take a domestic role, but since you have a jobb ass well I think that is wrong. He should do his share of housekeeping as well.

Men and women are different and that is what attracts us to each other and therefore we should look different, but when it comes to rights and things like division of housekeeping men and women should be equal and all should do their part. (My wife probably things I am not doing enough though.)

After reading your posts I am not sure that you are the kind of person that just wants to be there to please your husband. I've got a feeling that you have bigger ambitions in life. Wearing a skirt probably won't be a big issue once you got used to it, but not having the possibility to develop yourself the way you want might become a big issue later.

After reading all this I think I will have a discussion with my wife about how she dresses again. I do think she can wear trousers ass well , but it would be nice if she would dress more feminine at weekends and special occasions.

/Tommy