Thank You Marilyn King !

[Lena]

Yesterday was a very very wild day ........................


Moi was on a real emotional roller coaster going up and down .Am glad I stayed away from the bottle all day since while that wud have been great short term help do believe it wud have added to the emotional intensity which I didn't need . Did do enough drinking last nite though , sort of a combination of celebrating my brand new improved lot in life and as self medicating to calm down from all the intensity . I'm a fragile being , can't take all those wild ups and downs ........... .


In case anyone missed it 24 hour hours ago moi as convinced she'd be fired at work . I never have planned on staying a bartender forever, am dying to sell real estate but thats impossible now since real estate is in depression here. But do need the job since we got bills to pay an of course a major recession or heaven forbid another great depression is right around the corner . Although a nervous wreck got myself to the point of accepting it and psyching myself up for going out and getting a new job . Sort of 'F*ck you bad luck , moi's going to still survive ' attitude.................


Actually I liked that feeling , have always been so cynical and fatalistic about myself and there I was ready to take on the world . That Naomi was a great therapist for getting me to that point in life As expected the call came to report in to work even though its my day off and I wudn't get paid . We were actually on our way out the door to go kayaking so showed up in a old T shirt & falling apart cut-offs which was funny . Sorry, am not about to get all dressed up to get dumped on . I promised myself to go out with some grace/class , no screaming & swearing like I did when I got fired at 16 from McDONALD'S, no crying like I did when I got fired at MARRIOTT, and no offering to have sex which saved my job at the hotel once before. It'd be something like " This sucks .Give me my money and adios " ! Karin waited in the car , telling me before I went inside to stay calm and everything wud be allright ............


Security sent me to the general manager's office which should have told me something unexpected was up . Usually you just report to the Personal office and get paid and made to sign a paper saying you were treated fairly and if they can hoodwink you another form admitting you were canned for just cause the corporation can use to fight any unemployment claim .There 've actually some dummys who sign that one too.............. So just sat there in the lobby outside his holynesses office .It was all real cold emotionally too, all these suits and desk clerks rushing around ignoring me acting like I wasn't even there .Not a soul even said hello


The secretary ( who is a colossal snotty bitch ) coldly told me I could go in to see who I was now calling his royal assholeliness.............and there he as .The full white beard he grew in China is gone , now back to just a mustache and almost anally trimmed short beard around his chin. maybe he thought the big beard made him look to old or being so metro couldn't resist the urge to be as neat & over groomed as possible ? After telling me to sit down he looked over some papers then the parade appeared in the office : the bungling phony Personal manager Grandville , my boss Brendan , and the Guest Services Manager April .Thought to myself this has to be the biggest production I have ever seen for firing anyone , even odder since I'm only a bartender The general manger took the lead with everyone being quiet talking in generalities about what he called the 'recent changes 'at the hotel ( what dressed up way to call people getting fired / demoted along with all the nerve wracking panic that went on ) and how it's all done to make the hotel work better ( whatever ) and how they have had there eye on me for sometime .At that point expected to be hit with everything wrong I have ever done or been accused of from the sex scandal 4 years ago ( the cocktail waitresses may have taken money for sex from those California horse breeders in the Presidential suite but I didn't even know we were being paid and happily gave my body for fun , never have been much of a entrepreneur ) , my stealing of toiletries & pens , along with drinking on the job ............................I even half way expected security to show up to hold me for the cops .


The general manager said a few more vague things about the changes/firings then bluntly told me how I must know there will be a opening for a new Head bartender now that Rafael is leaving band they've hired a guy from a bar downtown and to me that was the same as being told I was fired.............. He also added they've also hired 2 new bartenders .My whole insides collapsed but I still told myself to keep my dignity. It got wrapped up when he told me after this week-end I was no longer a bartender .....................


So there I was fired ....................6 years with the corporation over in minutes .Just as I thought of asking for my pay and saying this was all a mean and crappy circus to humiliate me . But ..................


As I sat there just wanting to get out the general manager started going on about how to increase efficiency there bringing back the afternoon manager's position and it's a huge important job . Adding how I must know how important it is after my stints as acting MOD .Also a stepping stone to all sorts of opportunities with the corporation, even saying in other parts of the country afternoon manager's often get to be general manager's in 5 years . It meant NOTHING to me.........................


Then after taking another peek at my file he leaned over and said how I've always been a interesting employee whatever that meant and they were hoping I'd take the job as afternoon manager ..............I didn't believe it and really gave some thought to yelling how it's bad enough being fired for nothing but making a joke of me is rotten or something like that . But as I looked around saw the smiles on April and Brendan's face and figured they wudn't lie . Even that dick Grandville was smiling in his own superficial phony way ...................I was now almost in shock and started weeping . So much for keeping my dignity .................. .


They called down to Room Service to bring me a drink to calm me down which I really needed ............. Then after I rejoined the ranks of the coherent the general manager got into the details . Was very flattering to hear but also humbling too..............although a rule breaker seems I have many friends at work on all levels .The general manger saying for years managers and corporate people alike have said good things about me like professionalism ( kind of a stretch when you just pour alcohol but nice to hear ) with more then a few saying promote that woman . The past few times as acting MOD he said proved I was ready to move up .The general manager saying how even when he was in Shanghai China he was getting glowing reports about me from both April who was acting boss and the corporate VP who was here for awhile .I began to cry even more............................


As far as the job goes turns out I was always one of the leading candidates.In the end it came down to me and this yuppy whose manager of facilities at a local college . The GM telling me most of the managers wanted me while corporate thought we should make it a little more competitive .They were going to tell me about it all last friday when we met in the office but couldn't since there was a crisis . Ironic since thats when I started thinking I was on my way out . The general manager leaned back saying he made his decision friday nite seeing how I kept on doing my job with what he called all the 'unpleasantness ' going on . What else could I do that awful nite ? But of course didn't say that ..................


At the end everyone hugged me ( even that Grandville )and when we came out seeing all the smiles the rest of the staff suddenly got friendly to me . The world really is full of snakes . Then I went to over to uniforms to have the seamstress measure me for the custom uniforms there ordering from corporate, no more sharing clothes with everyone else like when I was a kid with my sisters


By then I had been in there a hour and had completely forgotten about Karin who had gotten so nervous something had gone wrong she was waiting by security office expecting the worse. Good she can can keep her calm , my ex Marady wud have done something like try to shove her way in . No surprise Karin couldn't believe what happened but was very very happy ................


Although am no hotel person and wanting to get into real estate will do my best . Alos still hate what happened last week at work . But it feels wonderful to be appreciated and given a chance to use my brain .


Will work harder but make more money . Get a raise in 90 days , also a bigger bonus and something called enhanced profit sharing meant for managers . Will report only to the general manager , am basically goddess m-f and every other saturday from 3PM -1AM or so . Some training and maybe going away to corporate manager's school later too.


More later ..........................we're going shopping today to buy me some heels, comfy heels too since I will be living in them Maybe a suit or two since April says you get tired of always wearing a uniform .


In my 2nd hand white Lacoste polo shirt dress , nude thigh tops , and Dr. Scholls .At the country club tonite there uniform of white blouse and Kelly green jumper dress.

[Lena]

So much is happening all around it's hard to believe and understand .Good it's raining today so I can sit and think to get some perspective.................I hope Guess I really picked the wrong time to quit therapy ..............


Lets see.................the election .Obama is said to be way ahead in the big states with all the electoral votes he needs to win but why do I think McSame will still be the one elected ? Just a bad gut feeling . Maybe since the whole idea of a smart and young guy being elected after we've had this fool for so long seems impossible ? Or maybe since after years of having black friends , lovers, relatives and , co-workers have picked up a cynicism common among them about race issues ? Like All Gore in 200 Obama may win the most votes but still not get to be president since he black ? I sure hope not ..................


The financial crisis seems to get crazyer every day with me feeling more trouble is ahead .Last nite waitressing at the country club overheard a big banker ( he looked like one right out of a movie , fat and in a expensive looking dark suit ) saying he 's sure the next big mess is going to be the collapse of the whole credit card system since Americans are so much in debt . Too true , we know people who live on those things using several at a time to buy whatever they want /need but mostly want whenever the mood strikes them , in the past before her bankruptcy moi was among the worse . Good lord wud that be a disaster since the whole economy moves on plastic .I bet any nite at the bar at work over half of all tabs are paid for with plastic ............


On a personal level life is good . Although am still in shock about being promoted ....................by all laws of common sense I should have never been ! Since I never went to college and haven't gone thru the management trainees program .And since while friendly in the bar am definitely NOT a hotel type either .More to the point except for Karin , the Simm's family , and my friends I'm not the type of person that good things usually happen too............. After all being born into a family that gave new meaning to the word 'white trash ' , coming up poor in the hills and a slum where people were always going to prison or dying young , and of course my own mega colossal stupidity . Plenty of examples there............the time we took horse tranquilizers at 15 and spent days out of it , almost dying of a H OD at 18 , my felony drunk driving bust at 19 ( that gets taken of my record next year I hope like the court promised ) , almost passing from anorexia at 19 ,and way way too many insane relationships . I left out the time waking up to some old fool in another town and herpes since do think I made my point about my own stupidity .................


Will wonders never cease ..................have my own home & Karin and now am moving up the food chain at work . Have gotten plenty of calls & e-mails from friends wishing me the best .Bernie the sales manager and Bob from security & his fiance Julia even sent flowers. Derrick was real nice saying all sorts of wonderful things , I was even crying when he finished .Last nite at the country club Carlene the pt bartender was real happy , says she sees me as a younger sister ( although do believe she has kids older but is very youthful herself ) and is real proud of me .After work we went out for a drink after work to celebrate Even got hit on by some construction workers who were talking about there nail gun but we both had the iddea they were really talking about that thing between ther legs .......................


Yesterday Karin and I went shopping , something that she absolutely loves but I usually hate .Wasn't to bad though to my surprise.We were mainly at a outlet mall which aren't the rip-offs regular stores are . They still have designer shops at them too. She got 2 LAURA ASHLEY dresses even though she hardly wears dresses being a nurse on midnites ...........but since she's from the middle class you have to expect that . We went a little crazy with me buying clothes for work , won't say the amount since I'm too embarrassed but spent more on clothes yesterday then I have in any year since I was 22 and trying to be stylish/cool .Moi got 2 blue pant suits and a very nice wool black with white pinstripes pant suit along with 2 pair of comfy blue heels . Good lord does shoe shopping eat up the time and energy , am happy I never got the shoe jones so many women have The heels are comfy too, am not about to walk around in torture shoes for 9- 10 hours a day like I did as a cocktail waitress .


Do intend to give being a manager my best . Also no more drinking & stealing at work .Have to learn about the hidden do's and don'ts of managerism . Like getting along with the other bosses so we won't fight and how to be with the other staff. Should be quite a learning experience with all sorts of surprises and also much off the job drinking to simply cope .


As overwhelmed by all this stuff going on around me am happy to say I am still moi the if nothing but flexible and often shameless M'linda Lena . Yesterday at the outlet mall a huge tom hit and we were stranded under a awning with a huge group of otehr shoppers who couldn't get to there cars because of the rain . It was all worse since Karin's jeep was in a low spot with water covering over half her tires which isn't good for them . so although looking very UMC in the Lactose polo shirt dress moi took maters into her own hands and after taking off her shoes & peeling off both thigh tops ( to the delite of a 70 something retiree and also a 12 year boy who I think had his sexual awakening seeing that ) walked out in the down pouring rain to get the car . Getting soaked in the process.Once in the car Karin was laffing with disbelief saying she couldn't believe how I just did that and how the little boy wanted his mom to take a picture of me with her phone ...............


Today my last Wednesday as a bartender am in a black turtleneck , jean mini and , suntan pantyhose . At work tonite for maybe the real last time my beloved penguin suit & orthies ...............

[Lena]

Thursday already ......................... The week has flown by so fast .


No break from the maddening world out there . I wake up to see how the US government may take over some banks owing to the world financial crisis .Also the news of the Iceland economy trouble is hitting even though don't think 5 % of all US Americans even know Iceland exists . Heard too how many UK'ers had money in Iceland banks .........................sorry! I know what you must be going thru , if my money was there I'd be a nervous wreck or even dead from anxiety Here too almost anyone on tv says we're headed into a recession , duh it already seems to be here and day by day strangling us more and more............. When will it end ?


The election is getting hotter with McSame looking more and more desperate .The radio said he's closing his campaign in states he doesn't expect to win . A bad sign for him .There also obsessing on how back in Chicago Obama knew this old guy who was a terrorist back in the 60's against the Viet Nam war as if the man ( whose now about 65) is some close friend and they say will have a big influence on Obama . Fat chance Obama wud ever do that for many reasons , starting with the fact that old fool was not a part of his inner circle . The economy is falling apart , we're in 2 wars losing both and terrorists are plotting against us not to mention job exporting and Mexicans taking over . Those are the real issues not Obama knowing some old guy who was a asshole a jillion years ago Funny too how the McSame campaign has seen how bad the Alien Queen from Alaska is doing with the press so for the rest of the campaign she's going to only be interviewed by right winger radio & tv people who will be real gentle and NOT ask any questions that wud show how ignorant and extremeist she is ..........


Moi's in her last week really last few days as a bartender .Do plan to get up a post called something like ADIOS BARTENDING since the job's been such big part of my life. Be a big transition but am looking forward to it .Really alot like finishing high school .last nite when I came in Capt'n Tom the head of security came out to congratulate me on getting promoted and we hugged . He's really been like a uncle , except with him hugging meant to be nice not a way to be getting in your pants to second base like most of my real uncles............. Saw April too who w s real excited about training me and then in 6 weeks heading up to Minnesota to take over her big new job . Seeing me in the jean mini she did mention how unless its halloween and your in costume never come in wearing anything short since people do love to talk ................when you think about it too true , the hotel is one giant gossip mill and people come up with wild storys especially about the younger women who work there with them being all sex sex sex . Note to self : nothing above the knee till fall / winter when I can cover it up with a below the knee coat .


Wore the penguin suit which has almost been my alter ego for all these years .I think there should be a superhero in one called BARTENDER WOMAN or BARTENDER MAN .Actually a bartender is like a superhero to many , you do get these wonderful grateful looks on people's faces when bringing there drink .Also when you listen to there troubles which you really do hope makes things at least a little better for them .Had cocktail waitress Narla with me , she 's happy for me and says she'll miss me . Seemed a little off about not being made a bartender though , do wonder why they went outside and didn't promote her . She's great with the customers and already knows how to make many drinks . The only thing I could figure is because she's out there or actually more to the point really in your face about being gay and a life of the party type . Even moi was more subtle then that ..............


Today plan to go by Freida's coffe boutique and tell her & work out the details about helping her at soem big arts thing or poetry slam she has coming up . Also will call the Mr.& Mrs.Simms and let them know that the 'hillbilly devil girl ' as Mr.Simms sister - in -law wud call me in a mean way is now a manager . I may not be the rich big bond trader there daughter Marlene is but still it's a step up the food chain in life and they'll be happy to hear . The Simms wud understand if anyone wud about having come from from nothing and moving up , they came up from Alabama in a old car with no money working all the time eventually getting a pretty profitable little garage going


Nothing short today!!!! My loden green army style dress that actually goes below the knee , suntan thigh tops & brown clogs.At work the penguin suit again and black orthies .

[Lena]

The Loca Vida is going on and on .................at times it really does feel like I am riding a tiger .Where will it all end ?


As usual I wake to see more bad news from the world financial crisis . Today it's markets falling all over Asia where all the money's going these days . If there not safe nobody is . Whats going to happen with Iceland ? The UK investors going to take over the place for there lost money ? And all the time more killing in Iraq where little georgey and the alien queen from Alaska say we've won ...............


I called the Simms at there garage to tell them the good news but Mr.Simms was at lunch and I didn't really want to spend many time talking to the mechanic who kept calling me 'sugarpie' and ' baby' .Will try again today and do hope I get to talk to Mr.or Mr . Simms not the wud - be stud again . Did get by Frieda's coffee boutique which was jumping like a popular bar on a friday nite . Poor Frieda, she was being run ragged by all the orders and coffee hungry customers .After making it thru a 9 person line got coffee and a apple then sat waiting to get a minute of Frieda's time . Moi with her high school diploma was surrounded by all these here brite college students and professors talking about there subjects most of which of course I didn't understand at all Was really amused by one table of economics or business students all on there laptops following the news of the World financial crisis , one woman was talking about what the UK paper the MANCHESTER GUARDIAN said , another guy was citing some Japanesse newspaper called something like the SHIMBOON , a nerd type was looking at the WALL STRET JOURNAL, and this short fat dark guy with a huge nose was reading a Russian newspaper . Really was something .............I felt so in touch with all that's happening and to learn people wud do something like that for fun.


After glad handing some customers and delivering orders of hot food Frieds came by to talk for a minute . Liked my dress Was happy about my promotion like I knew she wud be, despite looking like a outlaw with a white crew cut and always in sloppy clothes Frieda is very ambitious with a MBA & now owning all or parts of 3 coffee places and soon a small apartment building . She told me to start investing as soon as the crisis dies down which coming from her has to be good advice. Her big poetry slam is coming up a week from tomorrow , we'll be working part of midnites saturday-sunday .Should be fun & a way for moi to recharge her beatnik/outcast/rebel soul ............... Frieda too asked if I remembered the 2 professors who always liked me and of course I did . So many people have either hated me or laffed at me in life I always recall anyone who was nice. According to her they keep asking about me a hint hint hint she says are always in for lunch on week-days . Maybe get over there next week to say hi ?


Last nite at work was interesting . Really a transition day when I'm still a bartender but my new job is fast coming on . At times annoying , at times frustrating but also at times down right fun . When I got in met with April first who approved of my more conservative dress seeing it as more appropriate then a mini to come to work in . I got the message and positive feedback works real well with approval wanting moi . I spent over a hour with April going over all sorts of practical things about her starting to train me next week .She 's great , really gives you credit for having a brain and I think expects you'll be doing your best . Thats alot different from the bartender who trained me when I first became a bartender . He was like a mean strict teacher always in my face telling me or yelling at me for what I did wrong and then going and telling the bar manager I was too stupid to ever learn the job . Didn't stop him from pinching my ass once though ............. Then always lucky moi ( ) got to spend almost 2 hours with the Personal manager/mega self important gas bag Grandville going over the company's mission statement with him in his own way too many words and pompous way telling me about the corporation's commitment to excellence and how it's a leader in the hospitality industry and after that still in a pompous and way too wordy way starting on the specifics of a afternoon manager . We could have finished had he not been going on and on to sound so intelligent and important . Lucky me , more with him today ................. /


After escaping his pomposityness changed into the penguin suit and worked the bar . Worked the bar which had it's moments . My boss Brendan told me the general manager came down real hard on my wud be rival and permanent back stabber Barb Stuart for doing so bad as acting general manger last week . She annoyed people in all departments with her queen bee attitude as if this was her hotel and we all worked for her . 2 black employees were very hot about her calling them "My bellman ' and " My clerk " as if this was the old south and they were slaves . Who could blame them . Also the general manager was positively enraged how she comped friends over $ 400 in free food and alcohol to show off. Brendan saw Barb run from the GM's his office crying and is now on unofficial probation ..............too bad ,my heart goes out to her .


The bar had it;s usual mix of business/army /government travellers but a group of cops stood out . although there my peoples natural enemy do love having police in since the younger male ones at least are so easy to flirt with and tend to be good tippers . Last nites group ranged from 20's -50's and were pretty interesting . Of course the usual war storys filled with what they all see as full of astounding humor..............one guy from Georgia was talking about his partner slammed a lead flashlight into the head of what I took to be a young black guy wanted for armed robbery with some of his family screaming away and wolfing while the poor fools own mother yelled away at him how he deserved it for being such a nasty boy then 2 polices from New Mexico said how 5 cops played medicine ball with a illegal alien who'd smarted off to them in Spainish then took the by then unconscious Jose over too immigration to be deported . Amazing the reactions those storys get from others in the bar , usually either shock or laffter .


The interesting thing was what they said about crime . Seems all over America burglars aren't interested in taking big tv's with picture tubes .The fences won't buy them since the public they sell too wants flat tv's . Also how hybrid cars are being stolen more and more which is no surprise . And while they still turn up missing some SUV's especially the bigger gas guzzling ones like the HUMMER are not being taken anywhere near as much as they used too. It all had me thinking about calling up my old high school friend and career criminal Willie McTell ( who we got great deals on our 36" tv and a Toshiba laptop from with us not wanting to know where they came from ) asking if that was true and also ( ) if he has have any of those big screen tv's with a picture tube he can't unload and wud sell cheap ?


Go in early again for my meeting / torture session with Grandville full of himself . Today in my tan army style dress and brown clogs . At work tonite ...................my last friday nite as a bartender in the black cocktail waitress dress, nude garter stockings ,and black flats .

[Lena]

A new post later today ..................moi is too tired now to write and soon has to leave for tennis .

My last friday as a bartender ..................could call it THE NIGHT OF GOOD THE BAD AND THE UGLY After 4 years of putting up with the old fools crap got to see this old trouble maker Danny Lees taken away by the police .............

In my gym stuff now .Later probably a white polo shirt & tan shorts . At work tonite the black cocktail waitress , seamed stockings , and black flats.

[Lena]

Here in the Concierge Lounge on my last nite as a bartender..............


Nobody has been in for 20 minutes so can post . In a hour have to go do a wedding reception .Does sound like a cliche but one door is closing but another is opening ............this time for the better .


Friday I spent almost 2 hours with the pompous and long winded Personal Manager prepping for my new job as afternoon manager . Good lord was that torture...................partly since he's so full of himself , takes forever to get anything done , and then since all the time he's lecturing me on doing a good and there he is one of the bigger bunglers Ive ever worked with . We finally finished to my eternal gratitude.


The bar was interesting again . No cops with there war storys about beating punks onthe head with a eld flashlight or a group shoving & slugging them around but still stand out from the ordinary things happened and it could be a movie . Like I posted above could call it call it THE NIGHT OF THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE UGLY I could almost hear that strange music from the Clint Eastwood movie of of that name . Soem nite whn nothing much happpend at work will post about THE nIGHT OF THE USUAL , THE TRIVIAL AND THE BORING ...............


THE GOOD included a wonderful married couple in there 30's were just plain nice people staying at the hotel to celebrate there 10th wedding anniversary .They looked still very much in love Nice to see people like that , especially when you come from a family where most everyone's spouse/partner is here today but gone tomorrow. Also Mr. Dyson the retired army guy and horse farmer was in. He's about 65, real blue collar but sophisticated at the same time . The kind of person who doesn't try to make a impression but when he talks you know this is one smart old dudes . I pretend he's my long lost father . Anyway he was still in a suit and very nice.As a good-bye present moi bought him a drink , his usual lately of bourbon and water . He was surprised and happy to get it .Being the gentleman he is Mr.Dyson said he could only accept it if I had one with him so in total violation of the rules moi smiled and fixxed herself up one . That drink really packs a wallop , Mr. Dyson smiled when I coughed after gulping it down like he had . Congratulated me on my promotion and do believe he meant it . When I told him about how I was excited but nervous he smiled and said he knew I could handle it and the hotel wud be the better for it .My heart swooned .. That really meant alot coming from a man like him Mr.Dyson said he'd always say hi when in since I won't be in the bar anymore .Told him I'd like that We both had a second bourbon & water , this time with moi slowly sipping hers.


THE UGLY ...............I guess we could start with all the rumors about me.Good lod are they nasty ! Talk about angry jealous people ! They formally announced my promotion friday and the reactions were something indeed . There's talk to get the job I slept with the general manger and also got the job for being a snitch to management .The wonderful and gracious Barb Stuart who is currently in trouble for misusing her authority as acting MOD said it was a huge joke and couldn't be believed the when convinced I was indeed kicked up the ladder said it's because they feel sorry for me . If anyone can understand the logic there please let me know so I can too. The same applys to my sexuality too.


Also heard some but not all of the management trainees were surprised maybe a little shocked since there the ones who expect to takeover . Can understand there viewpoint but TBH have never seen a one of those yuppy puppys or puppy yuppys that had the street sense to right away take over as MOD . CORNELL UNIVERSITY and UNIVERSIY OF NEVADA Las Vegas campus may have fantastic hotel management programs but don't think they teach you how to deal with surly guests , drunks , engineering & housekeeping crisis's , in too big of a rush delivery people , and street people from winos to hookers to hoodlums .Especially all in the same nite & with a smile on your face in most cases . Do plan to watch my backside though .


THE BAD but also incredably stupid was the notorious troublemaker and check beater Danny Lees.I already posted about it in MEMEBRS .He's in his 50's but acts cts about 18 , a real dumb and crazy 18 too.Very very loud and hyper as if full of nervous energy . He could easily be my dumb ass yahoo career criminal cousin Gaylord's daddy ( that guy was a soldier who ran out choosing the Vietnam war over life with auntie Margaret and unless he lost a leg or something like that I bet he never regretted the decesion at all ) since he is such a huge slime . He's legally banned from the hotel since he's caused so much trouble but keeps coming in , drinking alot in a short time , then running out . In the past he's done everything from start fights and grope women .Once even said he was a dog and was sniffing women's bootys . In some cases he's been real mean , like making faces at a blind customer to amuse his jack ass friends and laffing about how he had sex with a 15 year old girl at a dry out clinic calling her a "drunken little hillbilly hoare ". Management has always wanted him caught and locked up to stop him from coming in and drinking up a fortune then leaving without paying .Capt'n Tom says Lees hes done that at hotels all over town .


Moi didn't spot him right away but when I did called security right away . Derrick and Bob hate him so they were right up waiting outside the bar .Wasn't long before Danny Lees was being real loud including asking cocktail waitress Maureen how much it wud cost for her to pee in his mouth .She was shocked as were all the customers around .At that point with everyone staring at him and a angry Maureen calling him a few choice names Danny booked without paying his $75 tab ( he has expensive tastes in the alcohol he freeloads ) ..................Derrick and Bob followed him to the back door and just as Danny was about to leave they radioed security Donnie waiting behind a pillar to nab him .Soon the shocked/startled/ dumbfounded old fool was being taken away in handcuffs all the time howling how there' d been a mistake and he hadn't gone and done anything wrongthen how he was going to sue the hotel /kill everyone /burn the hotel down etc.......... . I watched from the entrance of the bar all the time smiling doing my best not to laff and then when back in the bar gave everyone a free drink to celebrate . They told me the police took him ( now threatening to sue the police and city too ) off to the county jailhouse ...................it couldn't happen to a nicer guy .


Off to do the wedding reception ...........................

[Lena]

Sunday morning ..................Should be a nice day , brite and sunny and while warm thank the heavens the humidity isn't bad .


I woke up this morning for the first time in 10 years NOT bar rat . My days of working in bars either as a cocktail waitress or bartended officially ended last nite at approximately at 1:12AM this morning when I clocked out . I start my new job or really as Karin and everyone at work says my new career as a manager on tuesday .while not as intense as other feelings like falling in love or on the negative side at times the anger /depression/and fatalism-frustration I've felt it's still hovering over everything in mainly a positive way . Am scared & nervous about all the new responsibility & pressure but also at least this morning more happy & excited too .

It's hovering over everything like the warm sun ...........I do feel good & energized .A big change from most of my life when I was as so fatalistic the whole planet looked like it was wrapped in heavy plastic .The world seems fresh and new today , like after a big rain storm Don't worry , moi isn't going to turn into some grinning idiot who always sees the glass as half full or walks around singing the old C&W song KEEP ON THE SUNNY SIDE OF LIFE . but it is a wonderful change to have have some hope and optimism after a lifetime of mostly sadness and fear .


Aso takes the sting out what otherwise wud have been a big disappointment . Carla and Judy cancelled out on our plans to all have sex today . Judy called Karin and told her that in a real nice way and also sent me a e-mail explaining it all so my feelings wudn't be hurt .She's a professional writer and real articulate , it has to be the best e-mail anyone sent to someone saying " I don't want to f*ck you " .Must confess we were looking forward to it , I've wanted to get in Carla's pants for years and was getting more and more curious/excited about Judy . The doctors ass't who was such a fantastic lover we slept with on vacation named Logan and Judy look alot alike and and Judy herself has this intellectual quality that I really find attractive . . To them it's a issue of keeping things simple , going from buddy's to buddys with benefits was to much for them and do believe maybe Karin too. Moi can f*ck anyone for fun and go back to whatever the relationship was before , have done that with relatives, co-workers , and friends . But then again I am either alot more sexually sophisticated or perverted then most ...................... Won't be angry /sad though , in the end wud rather have good friends then a one nite stand . And maybe they'll change there minds down the line....................


Karin wudn't have had much fun even with the extra energy provided by blow since she's working a double today , the poor woman went in to the hospital at 11PM or 2300 and has to stay to 1500 this afternoon . She'll be asleep in half a hour after getting home .Moi has to work all day at the country club , blaaah . First waitressing at dinner and then since Carlene is sick bartending till 6:30 pm so the golfers can have a few rounds before going home .Will keep a ear open for any news or horror storys about the world financial crisis .


Today heading out in a pink polo shirt & white skirt .At work the uniform of the white blouse, Kelly green jumper with nude thigh tops and brown flats . No undies at all !

[Lena]

A new post later,now off to my first manager's meeting at work

Moi is totally yuppy today ................my gf's Navy blue skirt suit with a white silk crew neck top also nude garter stockings and navy blue heels .

Little wud anyone whose sees me know inside I am still a hog caller.............

[Lena]

Today's post ....................back home from the meting . My coat and heels are off with moi here at the machine with a glass of merlot next to me . My head is still spinning , it finally hit me that yes I really am a manager now ! I almost feel reborn or in another universe where all of a sudden I'm important or somebody else has been transplanted into my body . My emotions are all over the place, want to sing & dance for joy which I did do when came home , also scared of being able to do a god job , and still in shock how me of all people is now a boss at a 4 star hotel ...................will wonders never cease ?


Everyone was there in the conference room , 14 of us all together .If the roof had caved in the whole hotel wud have been leaderless. Up until they let me in there club I wud have thought that was funny . The first and best part of the meeting was the general manager introducing me as the new afternoon manager which got moi a round of polite applause.He also said a few pretty nice things about moi which won't go into . April says it's tacky to brag and do know that for a fact .The essence as how I have alot of energy and want to work . Something in the hospitality industry which can be rare, I have always thought too many are in it for the glamour and to be able to act like a big shot , including more then one at the very same meeting . .Also to my surprise got with a small present from each person there which is a company tradition I learned .Still have to open most , am waiting for Karin to get back to help .Then 90 minutes of boredom , I made it a point to copy April in terms of how she sat and her facial expressions . You can't go wrong following the lead of someone who knows what there doing . Leaned too I have to do more then be able to handle what was going on any nite but also know about things upcoming at the hotel and how to deal with certain corporate customers and people .Sounds complicated and a new twist on the job . But can only try and do my best !


When the meeting ended almost everyone came up to offer congratulations and were real nice . Everyone loves the new girl in the hoare house as I heard my favorite customer Mr.Dyson once say . Do know most of it's phony or just party manners but it was nice to hear anyway . The ego is a pretty easy thing to appeal too isn't it ? The general manager took me and April Aside telling us again to keep working together and for me to be patient and not expect to be the best right away . He didn't have to tell me that ! It took me long enough to get to be a half way decent bartender let alone a good afternoon manager. He also told us how much the old gross right wing jillionaire who I wrote about the other week who I called called Old Man Money liked us alot . Saying something like " That ivy league jewess and the short woman who looks like a little boy took great care of us and you should pay them more " . Despite his low opinion of her people and my looks that still had April and I smiling .It's always nice to be complimented but mainly happy since since the general manager told us the old coot is a major stockholder in the corporation ............ Later with both of us laffing about it April and I agreed it's always good to have friends in high places even if they are a vile old jerk . Don't know if we'll be getting any more money though ..............


After that went to my mini office that has it's own computer and had all this other manager stuff bestowed on me .Got a beautiful leather planner, my own computer password, very own pager ( so they can always call me into work ) and phone number .Also new company id ( even though I was smiling & full of happyness just like in my old one as a bartender still look like a convict ) business cards , sticker for the parking lot , and all these pens and legal pads . Hmmm............bet some will find there way back home ! Then went down for the final alterations on my new uniforms that arrived by Federal Express this morning . The head seamstress dropped everything to work with me , even calling me " Ms " instead of " girlie' like she does with with all the hourlys like I was only days ago .............


Back home now..................will change into a tank dres.The one with a white top & blue & white floral print skirt.

[Lena]

Not much today , am working on a post in the regular blog area about the end of my life as a bartender. Should be very deep and reflective ..............at least for me


Yesterday we took it easy staying home . Enjoying the quality time together and of course sex sex sex .They don't call it the pleasure bond for nothing !!! Am a bit sore today , a little too much StrapOn and ice action . I guess in one way or another you pay for everything you do in life, even having fun .But then again sharing love with your SO is something thats you can't put a price on .


My new job is like being hit by a huge tidal wave .It's more then being the MOD for 9-10 hours a day but a whole career with all sorts of do's and don'ts as well as whole new mentality .Everyone is so nice but from what I have seen with others before many are just waiting for you to make a mistake or find fault with you . Also when I was bartender was happily isolated in the bar and was sure I could handle about anything that went down there but now as a manager am involved in everything that goes on at the hotel and that involves a whole long list of things that could go wrong . I really did pick the wrong time to quit therapy Since it wud be nice to toss this around with Naomi the woman who did so much for me . Lucky her! Naomi is now retired on a huge road trip across north America s while moi is here stuck in heels worryed about some big crisis at work I won't have any idea how to handle ................. I won't even get into all my angst about how to socially interact with the other managers since all at the same time your in the elite manager's club today expected to work friendly with each other , they all align with each other then on a seconds notice backstab each other in the sickening never ending game of office politics , and are rivals for promotions .


Some comments on the perfect image of the American family myth . Everyone from politicians to schools talks about how important the family is and do agree.But think there's a huge national myth or lie out there of the existing of the perfect family where everyone loves each other and everything is fine .Good lord the tv is full of shows like that are sending the message to one and all . Most often the people on them are UMC or rich too which sends another message .It can get more then a little hurtful though when you not from a family full of love with mega bank .You can come away with the message your worthless ...................


But have come to the conclusion the perfect family doesn't exist , at least being the majority of familys. To me from growing up poor and now working around rich &UMC people and living with someone from the great American middle class know for a fact most familys have there issues and then some ! We're alot more like the SIMPSONS and Bundy's on MARRIED WITH CHILDREN then the folks on DAWSON'S CREEK and THE WALTONS .Just depends on the degree of trouble ..


I suddenly got very interested in the perfect American family myth just this morning . First seeing MAUREEN MCCORMACK from old tv show called THE BRADY BUNCH on the TODAY SHOW .It was on before my time but we saw BRADY BUNCH when Iw as 8-9 as reruns and liked it . A perfect family , a blended family too as I wud be part of several later on in life . The dad had a great job , the mom stayed at home , and the 3 brothers and 3 sisters all got along . Maureen played the perfect oldest daughter .


Now I am there with my morning coffee seeing Maureen McCormick ( who at 52 looks unbelievability fantastic) talking how the reality of the show behind the scenes and her own life were very very different . Being far from the perfectionism they were selling .She was talking about It's all in a new book she wrote about herself , I'd make a comment about her intense vanity & ego for doing that but when you write a daily blog about yourself that'd be kind of hypocritical .i know many fans must be all upset but to me it was " Hah hah, the perfect family and on the show the perfect daughter were not perfect but flawed like all of us " . The man who played the rich dad was a closeted tormented gay guy and a alcoholic , while Maureen and another actress (who played one of her sister ( not the who was signing autographs at a medical convention at the hotel where I work the other year ) were lovers . Good lord they were playing me and cousin Francie and we didn't even know it . Maureen too was multi faceted , having a huge affair with the guy who played her older brother . Her own life read like mine .........anorexia , depression , drugs galore, and also worrying about ending up at the bottom like her mom and grand mom . In the all too hard to believe department like my mom when I was a teen-ager her mom also had syphilis .


The second was seeing a interview with LEVI JOHNSON the father of BRISTOL PALINS baby .Good lord what a fool and you could tell the spin doctors got to him so he wudn't drive away Republican voters .He WAS CLAIMING TO BE YOUNG MISTER FAMILY MAN d looking forward to being a husband and father .Have known many teen-age dads and only a few were planning to be active fathers or for that matter ever marry the mother. He doesn't strike me as wanting to be married & tied down at all.More like out drinking with his buddys and watching sports on tv .On his MySppace page he even said he doesn't want children Also lied that the politicians and her family are not pressing him to marry pregnant Bristol . What a load of crap ....................


But as big of a lying dumb ass oaf that guy is the real issue to moi is his soon to be mother in law Sarah Palin's hypocrisy .She talks alot about family & religion as if she had the perfect family so can lecture the rest of us . Now we see it's not true , her perfect daughter gets knocked up at 16 by this dope and there forcing them into marriage so mom won't look bad . A real sign was how he's quit high school to work . Good he has a job but getting a diploma is important here so that should come first . Do believe the family should help him finish school ,but I see Sarah is either too caught up in her campaign or just doesn't care about that . Bet she'll still go on lecturing us all about the family ..................


My rant is done.


Off to work later, will be spending time seeing how the front desk works ( we used to call it the land of grinning idiots since the clerks are ALWAYS smiling ) and then afternoon manager later . Dressing up to go in too which I guess is a unwritten part of the job .I knew right away when they told me I was a manager the days of coming to work barefoot and sometimes commando in the summer to taunt the security at the employee entrance were over . So too was wearing the leather strap around my left ankle thats almost my symbol . After April came down on me for coming in wearing a jean mini also learned I couldn't come in like that either ......... So today relaxed but lady like in a white blouse and medium dark tan skirt with thigh top stockings and my brown flats with pointed toes .At work there navy blue skirt suit and multi colored blouse with navy blue heel things ..............

[Lena]

A shorter post today since am working on a entry for the regular blog area.


After 10 years of working in hotels finally learned how to check someone in and out .................it's more complicated then you think but after awhile I did manage to get it down.Just had to do it a few times and got the hang of it . Also could go barefoot behind the front desk which was a COLOSSAL relief since the new heels were very painful . Tonite I spend time with Engineering , goodness me hope they don't have me way up on a later changing lite bulbs , don't mind anyone looking up my skirt but do worry about falling down and ending up dead laying there on the floor like a smashed watermelon . Or working with electricity which I have always been muey afraid off...............


April's a great mentor.In between dealing with everyone she's teaching me little but very useful things .Like how to shake hands with men.........plant your feet on the ground , smile ,and don't grab there hand but NOT too tight .Also not to talk more then a few sentences since you don't want to get tied down because there's always something waiting to be done and they could think it's rude, nobody likes a diarrhea mouth . Nothing really big happened at work other then that .had to politely tell one man how his cc was refused but he could pay with cash or check . The man gave me very annoyed look and asked if we could just send his accountant the bill but had to in a nice way say no , not company policy .He got annoyed and said HOLIDAY INN let him do that and I said how thats a good idea but we're not there yet there yet .Not placated he stormed out . Oh well.............doubt I'll get in trouble for adhering to the rules and maybe saving the hotel from getting stiffed .Also had to apologize up and own the wall to a po'd yuppette from Seattle about a mistaken room service order. What is wrong with those people down there? Evey item has a number so how can they get that wrong ?


My gf is upset today .They had her in the ICU and sometime during the nite a senile 75 year old male patient up and walked out .The hospital manager is angry about them not seeing the old boy get up and leave but sound most upset since he wud have had to have gone out 2 doors covered by securitys . Who knows, maybe the patient is still roaming around the hospital ? Scary but still kind of funny. Karin is thinking about not sleeping today but going out and looking for him . Am trying to talk her out of it since it's really a fools errand ............ Somebody will turn him in , after all a senior walking around in a hospital gown is bound to stick out ..............


Finally did manage to get in touch with my friends the Simms to tell them about my promotion . They were thrilled and very supportive in OPRAH /Dr.PHIL.Including telling me they knew I wud turn out allright which is something moi has not heard alot of in her life . Am invited over there a week from sunday to see there son Damian and his wife Gloria as well as new grandson Wesley in from Pendleton.Moi wud not miss it for the world


Back to work on the other blog entry ...................

Today head out in my black army style dress and at work think the very nicely tailored navy blue skirt suit uniform and standard muti colored shirt along with nude knee highs and black heels .

[Lena]

Hey there ...................

Last nite at work we had some 40 something yankee who kept saying that then winking as if he was the coolest/most clever person on the planet .About the 4th time I saw him do it started to thin about stomping on his foot with my heels .ANNOYING !!!


Finally got up my post in the regular blog area about having been a bartender . Includes how I got to be a bartender , some storys, and how I think it was good thing to have gotten into .Even has sex too , mentions how I slept with with the lesbian bar manager to cinch the job Hee hee, little did that woman ever know I wud have slept with her anyway since you have to stay on the bosses good side and since it wud have been so empowering /validating to low self esteem but wild moi . Please take a look and since it's long feel free to read it in installments .


Also happy to see TECKER pop in yesterday .He's one of several old members who've either dropped in or been in touch with moi . The Teck ( from his job as a teacher ) was always nice and popular .Happy to hear all's well with him and the family . TECKER was not just a good member but also a good man . One of the many nice foks you meet here at FF .


The experts are saying Obama won last nites debate with McSame again ................. No surprise since Obama is more in touch with the here and now with McSame wanting to keep on with little georgey's disastrous policys but also since McCain's age is showing . He is 72 after all and you can't believe getting wounded ( including bayoneted ) in the war his time in a communist prison didn't age him more . Believe me if Mc Cain is actually elected moi will start praying nothing happens to him since heaven forbid that fanatic self absorbed Alien Queen from Alaska has to take over.................. I can just see her on tv addressing the nation saying the ALMIGHTY appeared to her saying to drop atomic bombs on Iran and Moscow, Russia.............


More training at work at the hands of the wonderful and very smart April . I posted the other day how I knew when they made me a manager my days of being rebellious going into work barefoot were over.But not so , yesterday we got hit by a mega rain storm and to avoid ruining her shoes moi sprinted barefoot from the parking lot to employee entrance going thru several puddles and like a Olympic athlete jumping across others . Don't think anyone noticed since the rain was just so intense. It kept coming down all nite too, being the attentive afternoon manager moi issued a umbrella to Leon the doorman so he and our guests coming in could stay dry . Everyone was grateful


I was supposed to spend some time with Engineering but didn't since the manager Roger had to rush to the hospital to see his just born grandson .Am happy for him But that worked out since was able to learn more from April , moi may have blown off school but will try to learn all I can from peopel who know what there doing . Thats always been the case from when I was 15 learning all about sex and the various positions from my very experienced 24 year old bf and drugs from friends to now the hotel business from April . Hey my prioritys may have been off but the spirit to learn from others in the know was still always there !!!! In between the jillion things we dealt with ( including helping a guest get luggage lost by a airline and deal a shower in one of the big bucks suites that didn't have hot water ) it was all this protocol stuff that you really have to know in addition to your job to survive in the corporate world .Like when your with your higher ups at meetings let them do most of the talking , always seem interested in what there saying . The same when eating with them ........ look interested in what they say , never eat more then half of what on you plates so not to look like a pig , and NEVER EVER EVER have more then one alcoholic drink Since I am a alcoholic and can NEVER have just one drink that really hit home ...................


Go in early today to spend time with Engineering , again hope this doesn't have me doing anything dangerous like being on a ladder or with electricity which is a huge phobia of mine .Remember yesterday when I wrote about how my gf was upset since a 75 year old senile patient snuck out of ICU and they couldn't find him ? The hospital administrator was terrified the man had left the building since he was so old and sick and in the look out for number one world we live in since it open the hospital up to a lawsuit .Well Karin learned yesterday afternoon they found the old boy sleeping in the bathroom of a unoccupied room and he's now safe . Naturally my gf is very relieved about how it all ended and plans to have restraints on all patients with Alzheimer's from now on . For some reason don't think the hospital told the man's family about any of it ....................


Have to get e-mails out today to my cousins up north and also call Leslie to see whats up with her and tell her about the promotion .Heading out my loden green army style dress and trusty old brown clogs . The red rain slicker to since we'll be getting more thunderstorms today .At work the navy blue skirt suit , nude thigh tops and navy blue heels .

[Lena]

Hello

[Lena]

We're back up !!!!!

Moi found a saved old post in her favorites and posted this entry so from tomorrow all new posts will be found here...................

[Lena]

FRUSTRATION !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

My spelcheck works everywhere but at FF today ..................

Don't have several hours free time to go over every word myself so will try later .Have to think this is the result of the big bang here at FF

In brief met my mentor April for lunch yesterday and had a great time . as epected learned we are from TOTALLY different worlds ! Although both from big familys her folks were definitely UMC , had a good marriage, and loved there kids. All are doing great except one 25 year old guy whose bipolar and a alcoholic . Was nice to have one eprson among al the dcotors ,lawyers, profesors she rattleld off in her family moi could relate too.....................

Did see too how oin our own seperate ways on the same page about work .Both want to do a good job and willthrow alot of effort into doing that . Although for April since its her carer while with moi it's more like being motivated by fear since I want to kep the job since it's better money & conditions better then when I was a bartender .

Some very helpful hints about what she calls office deportment and with my big issue of getting a handle on management culture. At several points talking to her about that was like being back with a shrink ............... But with what I saw as cognative therapy I made a break thru and am very happy about that ...............!!!!! Am digging up old memorys about when moi was put in new situartions ( and I don't mean sexual situations ) where I had to have some faith in myself and abiltiy to learn .Like moving from Lawrence county to Bragg being part of army world with a new family, all those yankees and foreigners then coming here to the big bad city to live. In the end it all worked out , although here my way of fitting in here could have got me killed/sent to prison/pregnant many many times ................ More on that when spellcheck works ................


Today in white turtleenck and tan corduroy slacks with a red gstrings & nude knee highs . At work tonite the navy blue skirt suit uniform with the matching mutli coloeed blouse & navy blue heels !