Thank You Marilyn King !

[Lena]

Was sicker then a dog at work , felt like a zombie raised from the dead to work away . Although were supposed to leave our uniforms at work being too tired to change I walked out the door in mine last nite . It sounds gross but when I undressed at home noticed I had sweat so much at the job the inside collar of my blouse was almost black . Eeeech!

Today while still sick am going to my pt job . It's easy except for there rule of smiling all the time which is hard when you feel like road kill. Wear a white blouse and cheery Kelly green uniform there . Later ( if I am alive ) go to a big family thing for my gf . Will dress up in the best outfit from the rummage sale : Cranberry red cardigan sweater and matching crew neck top ...both cashmere , red cami , a black pleated knee length skirt with some type of red, white , and yellow pattern on it along with nude garter stockings and , heels . Always try to look especially nice around my gf's family to soften the lesbian thing and seem respectable . If this cold/flu kills me they won't have to change me for the burial . I feel horrible ................ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Lena]

Being sick suffered thru work yesterday . Having to smile was the hardest thing as I thought it wud be although not sneezing all over the rich customers was not easy either. One of them was Becky Ellis, a woman about 30 who used to waitress at the same country club and after F****** as many members as she could finally got pregnant by one of them ( some polo player ! ) and forced the daddy into marriage . Now she's rich and to Becky her son is much much more then a child but a lien on her rich hubbys bank account . Come to think about it am sorry I didn't sneeze on her .

After leaving work I ran across town to another alot less ritzy country club for the 50th wedding anniversary of my gf's great auntie and uncle . There were about 50 people including all thre of there kids who are all around 45 ! My gf and I both dressed up ( she had a gorgeous oval neck black dress with my pearls while I was in the cherry cardigan and matching top and the black skirt with the pattern on it . Us being so dressed up was surprising in a couple ways . One out of town relative named Roy about 40 who my gf hasn't seen since she was 8 asked her where the lesbian couple he had been hearing about were , I guess he expected us to be in jeans or sweats not looking like we just came from TALBOTS .At first he didn't believe her when she said with a smile on her face she ws 50% of the couple but then was embarrassed about asking her of all people that question . We later saw him pointing us out to his wife and some other older people I didn't meet .I love attention but it does get boring being pointed out like your a freak . Also it was surprising to see how informal so many of the people especially the men were . I noticed all the people in there 50's-60's were dressed up .The men in suits and the woman in either dresses or nice slacks .. The 30 and under people were alot more informal . Both men and women in sweaters and pants . One relative of my gf a woman who is almost 40 and has never left her folks house was in a sweat suit . A nice yellow one with new sneakers but still a sweat suit .And people say hillbillys have no class..............

The whole gay thing can get in the way of alot of straight people accepting you and does worry us . Even with my gf's family . But for the most part everyone was nice enough at the party . Like I expected my gf's real conservative great auntie and uncle were cold to me just like they had been at a wedding where I met them at the end of the summer . Thats ok , at least there not screaming swear words at me or starting a brawl that happens in my family when someone doesn't like you .Apart from the one out of town guy who was interested in where the lesbian couple were ( what did he expect anyway , us to climb on one of the tables and sex each other then and there ?:D or try to recruit his daughters ? ) . Most everyone was either nice or didn't care . Being sick I mostly sat at a table making it a point to always turn away when I sneezed then say excuse me . Also no public displays of affection with my gf ( although at one point sitting at the table our feet were intertwined ) not to set any homophobes off or come off as attention getters . Also to be honest this cold/flu has killed my libido .

Today is my day off and I still am sick . So in a old pink t shirt and ragged jeans . plan on spending the whole day sleeping to kill this cold. If I get any energy will head over to the steam room at my gf's school to sweat it out .

[Lena]

Not much to say . Am still sick and at home . Spent all day yesterday in a old t shirt and jeans on the couch under a sleeping bag . Feel awful today and already called in sick . In a old t shirt too and pajama bottoms now . After take a shower probably something like t shirt or tank top and jeans/cut-offs .Who gets dressed up when there home sick ?

Tomorrow hopefully when I am am back among the living will dress up . Thanx for the get well pm's and e-mails . Also to the one guy , I won't reply to those kind of messages but always try to wear hose with a reinforced toe to avoid runs and I can't wear most cosmetics due to allergies and no comments about piercings not on my nose and ears!

Am off now to clean up and spend a real fun day suffering ....................

[Lena]

I am still sick and will be home in bed all day today . This will be the 3rd day in a row I have been stuck at home , wasted from the flu which is all over Kentucky .So won't dress up , just a t shirt and jeans and probably these "ultra- sexxy" white socks . Really do feel horrible .

Tomorrow though I do have to get moving whether I am sick or not . Have to go to work , even though we get sick days at work the reality is you take more then a few off you get fired . Also have to go to meet the gang to celebrate a old friend's b'day which should be fun .

[Lena]

Actually I am beginning to feel human again today and will get out . Still am weak with itching eyes but managed to get a full night's sleep and can keep food down now. So am heading out to meet 3 old friends for lunch to celebrate one of them' birthday . We all go back to when we were 13-14 and were with 4 other girls( including a cousin ) what amounted to our own family . Did all sorts of wild and fun things together . 10 years ago going out for lunch meant BURGER KING but now a niece place where you can have alcohol .

So from the Marilyn King rummage sale the white blazer with the crest with the foreign writing in the left lapel , a light blue shirt with a white collar , jeans , and my best clogs . The accesories include a gold chain , white bikini briefs and either black sock or nude knee-highs . At work tonite ( between my regular days off and being sick my first day back in 4 days ) my penguin suit and orthies .

[Lena]

Still have a cold but am definitely geting better . Even made it thru a whole nites work yesterday .

Also yesteray before work I met 3 old friends for a birthday lunch in the white blazer with the crest & foreign writing on the lapel and jeans . Along with me there was Corvah the birthday girl ( although since she just turned 26 birthday woman is a better word ) who was in a nice red suit since she also had a interview for a promotion at work , Ronnie Raye who came in a designer sweat suit that was so nice you knew right away it was definitely not made to go to the gym in who is also now in her second trimester and showing more and more , and Leslie who I have written alot about here who after losing a custody fight for her son is back waitressing and dancing at a "gentleman's club " ( how can they even call them that since it's all married guys and kids being horny voyeurs ? ) looking right out of a tv movie in a black jumpsuit with perfet hair and make-up along with a gorgeous matching diamond necklace & bracelt . Naturally all of us except for Ronnie Raye pigged out on salad . Not having to worry about he figure since she's preggars that bitch Ronnie Raye tormented all of us by having a huge delicious looking pasta dish with alot of meat and cheese on the top and this heavenly looking garlic bread that had to have a 1,000 calories in every tiny little piece . While we each had one tiny piece of the b'day cake Ronnie Raye swallowed two huge pieces of the birthday cake . Sometimes I hate her ............

We all had a good time talking , about the past and also the present . The talk about the here and now was more fun . I listen to a radio shrink alot called DR.LAURA who says for friendships to stay alive they have to be curent and continuingllly beneficial. With all the fun we were having there talking it sure is all that ! Corvah's bf got her a engement ring for her birthdy that thrilled her and we all had to admire . I thik she's even more excited about the good chance of getting promoted to some kind of foreman at UPS which is a great place to work .Leslie is having me added to the list of responsible adults ( yes me ! ) she has to have around the 4 hours a week she has her son Grady .I even have to talk to a court social worker .Ronnie Raye's husband is getting laid off at work but just got a new job at Fort Knox so all's well there. We also did alot of laughing which felt just so great . I felt like I was in a blue collar /multi-racial version ( Corvah is black with everyone else being white ) of SEX AND THE CITY .In addition to talking about everything from relationships to " thrilling " things like mortgages and car insurance rates there was also alot of conversing about children since all are moms .

The kid talk though had it's bad side though but so got fixed . .Like all childless women around moms I started to feel left out of things when the talk turned to the kids. Also I don't want to have our lives drift apart by taking such different directions .Just as started to feel sorry for myself I looked over at Leslie who I knew was bleeding inside since she can only se her son 4 hours a week and knows her ex lies and tells baby Grady his mommy ran out on him which is not true at all . Really awful to think about isn't it ? . So I nudged Les under the table and made smal talk to her then came up with the idea the next time she has her son we all get together with the kids at a park or Chuck E Cheeses . She perked right up with Corvah and Ronie Raye both automatically jumping in to agree to my idea . . Les seemed alot better right away and agreed withe veryone coming up with next tuesday afternon . After that we shifted back to a more genreral topic that wouldn't leave anyone out or make anyone feel bad . Are guys lucky enough to have these kind of friendships ? I only hope all there kids and if I ever have any mine WON'T be the evil little she -devils we were ! Next time we're all together I'll even make a toast to that ! Although since the children wil be there I'll have to say it in cryptical way and do it with soda or fruit juice not alcohol !

Yesterday at the lunch I saw a woman in a beautiful white wool dress which I don't have but will wear the closet thing I have which came from the rummage sale . Namely a white cable knit dress thats short along with nude pantyhose & my black boots . It's coler and cloudy so the clothes will fit . Both keeping me warm and brightening up a day made to get folks depressed. At work probably my penguin suit and orrthies .

[Lena]

Despite my lingeing flu made it thru yesterday all right . Worked almost 11 hours but that included lunch . A dress is the easiest thing to get into and out of since it's just one garment . Thats real important to me at the end of my shift when all I want to do is get out of there uniform and get out the door ASAP .

Met my gf and some of the people she works with at a Irish bar in our part of town to celebrate St . Patricks day although not being Irish or a Catholic he means nothing to me . The again I'm all for any holiday that means partying so I jumped in . One of the other nurses said I looked like I was fom Ireland in the cable knit white turtleneck dress which was nice to hear . I can get bored with all there shop talk but still being sick it was good enough to just get off my feet , take my boots off ,and chill. The two pints of Irish beer and later shot of irish whisky also really helped relax me ! They had a band from up north playing Irish music which can be real lively , including some lively songs about fighting the UK which made me think they actually think it's all fun ! Everyone in the bar seemed to be wearing green except my gf's little group that had come from the hospital and just like New Years Eve and the 4th of July there were also alot of people mainly guys just standing around drinking & smoking waiting for something big to happen . I just sat there drinking , smiling , and getting lost in the music .We did dance including with a bunch of people in a big circle dance . It's funny that all these foreign ethnic groups all have a dance like we hillbillys where everyone is part of a big circle . Have seen it with the jews, Italians , greeks , and arabs , and now the irish .Unlke last nite next time I'll keep my boots / shoes on since some drunk guy hollaring about how great it is being irish ( although he sure sounded American ) stepped on my foot as we were leaving the dance floor ( OUCH!!!) that had me hobbling back to the table . All my gf's hospital friends being to drunk to help . :

Today we start another round of tennis lessons . All part of my plan to find better hobbys then drinking and gettting high long with general improvement . After that work . Heading out the dor in a jean jacket and jeans in a old grey t shirt in my old clogs . At work probably my penguin suit and orthies and black socks .

[Lena]

A hectic nite at work , they had me working a huge party for the NCAA basketball games . Me & 2 other bartenders in a huge ballroom packed with screaming mostly male basketball fanatics . I was in my black vest and pants with a white blouse that makes me look like a penguin . I could have worn the old faux leather mini or the tight and hort cocktail waitress dress to try to earn more tips but from past experience knew it wouldn't have done any good . Basketball fans are such fanatics they are only are interested in the game and making fools of themselves by being so emotional .They left the place so filthy it looked like a alley . Also all nite I had dreams of all the screaming and even after talking a shower when I got home still smell frm al the smoking that was going on . The guys however were good tippers so all's well that ends well.

Some of you may like this .Last nite just outside of the city at a old mansion they rent for special events like wedding receptions and conventions my friend Leslie and some other dancers were working another party for the NCAA games . There run by a gambler whose a southern fried version of the guys on the SOPRANOS name Beaver ( really , a American indian ) where all these rich guys come to watch the game being teated to a huge buffet and free drinks all served up by topless waitresses whose day job is being a stripper .Someone really could make a movie about those partys , he has them at every big sports event where there is always big time betting . . Theres also dope and what amounts to prostitution going on with Mr . Beaver giving his real high rollers a woman to take upstairs . The cops NEVER bother the partys since there are always so many rich big shots at them . The sheriff even has cars outside making sure everyone is safe and off- duty cops are the security inside . The girls make great money , I bartended some before my gf reformed me and it was easy to walk out with $300-400 for nothing . More if you went upstairs .

Back to reality . Today go into my pt job at the country club in a white ribbed turtleneck and distresed denim mini . Don't feel like shaving so will wear nude supp hose which also do make your legs feel better which is all the more important when you are on your feet . They have us in this real happy looking Kelly green jumper and white blouse . Always have to smile at the rich people . Wonder how many of the men were at Beaver's big wild party last nite ? Later friends come over for dinner and tv . But actually there is always more gossiping then tv and more drinking then eating ..................

[Lena]

Work at the country club went all right . Although I am the bartender there too all I mailnly do is pour champagene since being since it's called a champagne brunch not many drink other beverages . The hardest part is always smiling that mangement insists on .It can be real hard when you are not in the mood to be al happy or phony . I do try though . The place was filled yesterday with all these happy and rich looking people . Some of the servers can go to far and start identifying with the members , like there filthy rich driving around in a Cadillac or Lexus SUV . I went in wearing a white ribbed turtleneck & distressed jean mini but some of the other women come in what are probably there best dresses acting like they are so classy .That can annoy me but what can you do ?

After work headed over to do some errands including picking up some food for dyke nite . It's a sunday tradition with a core goup of about 6 of us and some drop-ins getting together to eat and watch tv. Especially the lesbian sopa opera , THE L WORD . We added the new seaon of THE SOPRANOS too . There's always more drinking and gossiping then eating since everyone worrys about weight . It's all real informal with most in sweats or jeans . Nancy and I are usually dressed up , she works at a clothes store and the country club wants us wearing somethig nice to come and go in so I just stay in those clothes for the rest of the day .At home while helping to make a salad I dropped piece of tomato on my foot and remarked how being ina splosh party has always been a fantasy of mine with a few laffing but no one doing anything naughty . Dam! Everyone cleared out at 11pm and we went to bed .

I left the white turtleneck and jean mini I wore yesterday on a chair and Woke up to fnd one of the cats sleeping on them so to the washing machine they go . Since it's my day off today in a black leotard and these ripped to shreds old jeans . Plan on socks and sneakers later . We have a fun day ahead going out collecting as many boxes as we can find to pack for our move in under 2 weeks . If the big take the kids to the play ground thing with my old posse goes off tomorrow more of the same type of clothes but if not something nice.

[Lena]

Tool Time ...............In my old black leotard & a pair of ready for the garbage can jeans ( there ripped up including one rip across one side of the booty) we were out doing errands after noon . Including getting cardboard boxs to pack up my gf's stuff all this week . We were lucky to get to Wal-Mart before they shredded there's and other scavnegers showed up . The other week I had to climb in the dumpster to get some other boxes which was no fun and I could see alot of people noding there heads at the idea I'd end up in a oversize garbage can . After that we headed over to a huge hardware superstore to go to a lecture for woman about tools and do it your self projects .Figured the ripped jeans ( especially in the booty ) wud also get me alot of attention from all the guys at the hardware store too.

There were about 15 women at the lecture. all kinds , a couple yuppettes just out of work in there pantsuits , some 40'ish woman who was trying to look young who wouldn't stop talking in a real hyper way about how he makes alot of money , goes to france on vacation since she's a gourmet , and learned all about tools from her late daddy ( then why is she here ? I thought ) , a few housewives in there caprri pants , along with two Indian women in there saris with the dots on there foreheads .I found out more about how little I know about tools and home improvement then any new skills .Until last nite it never came to me there are all kinds of different saws , different screws and nails for different things , and that all hammers are not the same size .Amazing . In the question and awnser session we pressed the guy about how to pull up carpeting and have a nice loooking wood floor ( it's not going to be easy ! ) and taking off wall paper ( like tecker 73 here said have to get some big moisterizer can and scrapers ) .

We also got a hoot and a hollar out of all the men circling the area where the talk for women was going on . There seemed to be a million of them , all kinds .... toolbelts , yuppies , your generic penis person type in a barn jacket and jeans . All hawking away with more then a few of the women being more interested in talking to them then learning about home improvement stuff.After the talk it looked like a party or a singles bar with most of the women and guys flirting up a storm . The next time I hear a straight woman complain about never being able to meet men I will suggest she head to the hardware superstores since thats where they seem to be . On our way home my gf and I joked about going back in something sexxy and flirting our asses off to get some big strong carpenter to come over and fix up our new place for free . Or at least for a free meal and alot of teasing .

Still off today and like I wrote will head out to meet my old friends and there children to go to the park . If it rains we'll do something inside . Should be interesting . My gf who is close to her brother's small children says don't plan on a nice quiet lunch with kids around ! Today no clothes fom the rummage sale , just a red leotard , jeans ( not the ripped up ones since I'll be around children having to be a role model not trying to tease guys at the hardware store ! ) ,and sneakers .Tomorrow I have a appointment with the court social worker . My friend Leslie is going to use me as a monitor for the 4 hours a week she has her son . I can't see why she and the ex agreeing on me is not good enough but the court takes all this seriouslly so I'll have to be interviewed ( too bad no court ever took the time to make either my father or step-father come up with child support or to make any of the men who have fathered all of my sister's kids do the same ! ) so will do my best and dress up . Was wondering whether I should go in this very short mini from the rummage sale with horizontal red , blue , yellow, and gold stripes and exposed thigh tops ( it really wud say I am a responsible young woman wouldn't it ? ) or a blazer and knee length skirt ?

[SharonJOC]

If you're meeting with the social worker I'd go conservative.

I enjoy reading your posts, please keep it up. Nice to read about women that aren't allergic to pantyhose.

[Lena]

Thanx . I guess I will go conservative . Although if I was sure it wud be a man then wud give some thought to dressing sexxy to cinch it ! I like going bare-legged but it can bring up bad memorys of the dirt poor women I remember as a child waiting at the welfare office who also looked horribely depressed since there lives were so awful . Wear stockings more to avoid infections .

[SharonJOC]

Is there a thread somewhere where people vote on what you're to wear? Or do we just ask nicely here?

[Guest]

Hee hee. Actually I did post once about what I should wear and did take everyone's advice . Back home from the play date as they call them . We went to Chuck E Cheeses , a games and pizza place . If you under 10 it's great , if over 10 it is a hell . Will write about it tomorrow . Now have to take a shower to wash of the layers of sweat from that place along with the drooling from my friends children ...............

[Guest]

Hee hee. Actually I did post once about what I should wear and did take everyone's advice . Back home from the play date as they call them . We went to Chuck E Cheeses , a games and pizza place . If you under 10 it's great , if over 10 it is a hell . Will write about it tomorrow . Now have to take a shower to wash of the layers of sweat from that place along with the drooling from my friends children ...............

Me Lena above