Thank You Marilyn King !

[Lena]

Greetings from Martha Stewert junior At least thats what one big shot from corporate said who I looked like yesterday in the navy blue crew neck sweater and charcoal grey skirt from THE MARILYN KING COLLECTION . he , the general manager and I all had a good laff at that . I thanked him for that but should have said " And thats a good thing " like Martha Stewert does when she shows how to do something on her show like paint a new flower pot to look old or how to baste a turkey .But wasn't quick enough , maybe I wud have had it not been for so much of the glue bag when I was a kid ?

Went in early to do more paperwork , it never ends .I wonder if anyone actually ever looks at the ton of reports and questionaires we do ? There's talk of the corporation going paper free but I can't believe it .The company lives on paper. My boss and friend Brendan checked everything over and it all seemed in order which was a giant relief to me . Days really are more stressful since he bosses are around ( everyone lives in terror of the general manger ) and time seems to drag .Makes me happyer about working afternoons when the suits go home and you can focus on your job and having fun

But at least am getting to know some of the other staff better .In the employee cafeteria some of us had a big talk about what a reality tv show of our lives wud be like . A couple people had some pretty funny ideas , like Gary whose a building engineer talking about working 2 jobs and Navy reserve then coming home to see his family and also right out of graduate school brother -in-law who has 2 masters degrees and is unemployed whose idea of a job hunt is to send out resumes/fill out o.nline applictations then sits around listening to classical music all day and Collier whose a woman in sales whose storys about her suburb sound are full of rivalrys - plots - double crosses- sex .Didn't mention this but do think this blog wud make a great reality show or regular show like SEINFELD.

Meeting my best friend Leslie later for lunch and talk about what she should do if the ex goes to Iraq .He wants her to stay at his place which is a old farm house he fixed up and take care of there son .Les is 50-50 I think since she doesn't want to ever be dependant on Bill again . Oh well I'll listen and then say what I think in a nice way .Funny too about seeing Les during this Eliot Spitzer scandel .She's my best friend and I love her but sure no angel , ofocurse neither is moi The woman Spitzer was using at the escort service reminds me of Les in so many ways . From the dark hair and natural beauty to coming from a broken home where there was abuse.Errrr , Les too has done dates for money too as a sideline .To Les being involved with a governor wud be like being in heaven , she'd think she was not just so gorgeous and sexual but also very slick to have a suit paying for her .

Will be busy tonite at work with a big private party then the bar . MICHAEL BUBLE is there tonite too . Tomorow do a wedding reception . We also get KID ROCK and REV. RUN . Am tempted to work room service to see the wild partys .

It's warmer and raining so am going to go for a walk before seeing Les. That should clear my head and give me some more energy .Going out today in more clothes from the MARILYN KING COLLECTION : loden green oval neck jumper, yellow turtleneck , suntan pantyhose , and brown boots with a 3" heel . At work the penguin suit and orthies .

[Lena]

Saturday ...............The weather's great , cloudy and warmer .Should rain later this morning which wil be beautiful and help my gf who works midnites sleep better .Moi too can go for a walk and have fun just sitting drinking coffe or tea looking out the window

Met my best friend Leslie for lunch yesterday . We met at BAKERS SQUARE which is a few cuts above fast food , even serve liqour . Although do think I looked nice in the loden green jumper dress from THE MARILYN KING COLLECTION and white turtleneck as always Les looked the best She was gorgeous with new hair thats no longer long but shorter and bouncyer cut just above the neck , dressed in a red silk blouse , black boot cut pants , and black heels .Along with a huge gold chain around her neck .Les was blessed by mother nature in the looks department and always wears clothes well too. She even looked great as a kid , standing out in this tacky fake tiger skin hip length coat she'd wear at 15-16 . I can only dream ...............


After kissing and a few snide comments about Karin & passing up on the chance for fun with her and PASSION we ordered both had salads and wine , her white and moi red ) and talked . Les seemed happy , she's back with Connie the middle aged rich woman whose husband knows about them .Knows maybe too much since Leslie said he's watched them having sex , says he was a perfect gentleman but to me it seemed creepy . I've had sex with people while there partner watched but never people that old .I thought all the kinkiness wud be gone by that point in life , kind of gross of the hubby really . Les says Connie is 46 and her megabucks /pervert hubby is over 60. Shes' having fun and getting drowned in trips like to Atlanta and NYC along with all kinds of presents . Ahhh the life of a playgirl............

We soon we talking about the big issue which was should Les move into her ex's house and take care of there son if he takes this security job over to Iraq . Les was really mixed about it , loves her son and wud like to spend as much time with him as possible but is nervous about the whole thing .She says she's been worrying so much she's losing sleep and worrying her coliitis may come back .I got the idea a big part of it is bad memorys , the three of them all used to live in that house where the marriage fell apart being the site of alot of yelling and Bill slapping her around . Then throwing Les out after the divorce and keeping baby Grady . I told her I understood all that . But Les Les doesn't like Bill's conditions that she not work and no dating .Part of it goes back to bad old meorys since she always resented what a control freak he was , when they were married she anything she wanted from clothes to the candy apple red jeep Cherokee but Bill was always the boss with no questions allowed . Also Les being Les wants to date and party , including overnites when the mood strikes her . It's always been a big part of her life .

Moi pointed out that unless she moves in and takes over baby Grady will be shipped off to Bills's eldest daughter up to Cleveland which is a days drive away and she won't hardly ever see him . Also as far as staying at Bills that the past is the past and this time she will have the beautiful old farm all to herself with baby Grady with Bill NOT there ! She'll able to use the pool and ride the horses long with take his boat out on the near by lake whenever she wanted which had her giggling .The good life wud be back ! Also how she could go to school full time with maybe Bill paying and be able to get out of the life of bartender/dancer/profesional date . I coud tell it was appealing to her . Then after saying I was right just up and asked :"What about sex, what if I meet somebody special ? " Good questions and I couldn't come up with any easy awnser. As she talked about how she needs fun and who knows Mr.Right may be out there ( I didn't say with her taste in men Mr.Right will never show up and stay past a few days before he does something like cheat on her or beat her up ) but then it came to me and I said I guess he'd have to be discreet . It took a few seconds for Les to catch on then she grabbed my hand and smiled from ear to ear saying " At times like this I know why I love you " and in a more relaxed mood went back to eating and talking about other things ..................Here the awnser was right in front of her but Leslie couldn't see it . Looking back I'm surprised I even had to say that since Les also has a looooooong record as a very clever cheater but I guess she was too worked up to figure it out for herself .The mind can get too cluttered to think straight .

Work went fine, did the Concierge Lounge , a private party , and the bar . Happy to see my favorite customer and pretend sugar daddy or real father Mr. Dyson come in. He looked especially cool for a old guy , in a navy blue turtleneck and dark brown tweed sport coat . Had his usual two whiskys made some small talk with moi then left . My friend in security Barb dropped in to talk , she's real nice has a interview with the Metro police next month and is real excited .She wants to be a police and they sure pay more then the hotel

Meet Carla and Judy for tennis later .The work . Heading out in a black leotard and jeans . At work the black cocktail waitress dress, nude seamed stockings , and black flats .

[Lena]

My goodness over 200 hits in 24 hours, been awhile since we hit that in one single day . I guess I am either fascinating or people had nothing better to do.

It's sunday when I usually work at my pt job at the country club but not today . I showed up ready to work but there was last minute scheduling change and they caled to tell me but I didn't check my phone . Dam! Instead I work 2 luncheons this week which willl make the days crazyer since I'm also at my regular job but the money will be good . Rich people having lunches tip well, I think it's a upper class thing .

Karin's sleeping and when she wakes up heads over to her moms for awhile then abck home .No big plans today at all which is fine , nice to do pretty much of nothing .Moi already feels very good out of her dress and nylon and in a long sleeve T shirt and old falling apart jeans .The weathers great and we can go for a long walk before dinner . Then Karin will cook something good then we'll eat , watch tv ,and ofcourse make a fire.

Do want to clarify something I wrote yesterday . Namely about my advice to my best friend about handling sex if she moves into the ex's to take care of there son . I can understand why the ex Bill wants that , he doesn't want his so seeing a parade of male and female lovers mommy brings home which as much as I love Les I know she wud do .But Les still has a right to a sex life and TBH I think Bill who always loved being the boss wants to control her . Thats why I said to be discreet , if she's going to have fun do it in a way her son never catches on . Like have sex in the morning /afternoon when he's at school or at friends . That should have hit a chord with Les since as kids we both hated seeing our moms bringing home cocks*cker after cocks*cker .Meaning no overnites or week-end getaways with whoever she's seeing .Hope she listened cause the alternative is Grady being packed off to his 31 year old big sisters up to Cleveland and Les hardly getting to see him .Do hope my girl goes with that .

Worked at the hotel yesterday . As usual a wedding reception that was pretty much the usual , they all are the same most of the time .The interesting thing was earlier when they had me in the Concierge Lounge . In there think I met the New York branch of my family .It was almost to hard to believe since they were yankees from New York City who talked funny but I had the strange feeling that I knew them all /had met them before realizing there just like my people . After awhile I felt like I was in either a horror movie or one of those whacky reality tv shows . I even aad a nightmare last nite I was back to work and they said they were kidnapping me to take back to New York City to live with them .

There were about 10 of them all here to see a relative at the base. Thats great for a family to do that but they were a hard bunch to deal with , too loud and obnoxious . Moi joked later with my boss Brendan who was MOD while being around them felt wierd it's good I was there since those kind of people wud have made hamburger out of someone like Cassady and done even worse to the sheltered right out of college management trainees who also work the Concierge Lounge . He laffed , actually since Brendan was once in the French foreign legion think he wud have been the best one to deal with them . I'll tell about it in tomorows post .It's quite a story ..........

Am going to go for a walk. More tomorrow !!!

[Lena]

Raining out and should be warm today . Thats great , perfect for a long walk or jogging .

Sunday was a giant non-happening day which was OK .About all we did was hang out around the house then go out for dinner at Karin's folks . They were nice , as usual her mom was ultra neat and clean but managed to whip up a great green pasta lasagna . Had a nice sald too. Then home for drinking and THE L-WORD !!

As promised will tell about the freak show in the Concierge Lounge saturday afternoon . That really was something , I swear those people have to be relatives since they acted so much like my people .Although it seemed eeerily familier and I felt wierd am happy to say I was not left emotionally exhausted like I get whenever I am around my own family . Maybe it was fate they were there , part of a giant plan by the forces of nature to cure me of the harm growing up in my family did.

There were about 10 of them from seniors to little kids. All from New York City with the thick blunt sounding accents and VERY loud . I heard they were here seeing a relative at the base which is great , soldiers need support from there people . But learned more later the army guy they were here to see was only even in the army to get out of prison and was a total jag-off .The leader seemed to be this 60 something woman with frosted on blond hair who sat in the center of the room as if on a throne either bossing someone around or making wise ass comments she thought were funny which they weren't .The #2 seemed to be her younger sister who was short and fat crammed into tight capri pants who walked around as if she was ready to slug someone . Two 60 something guys who were the husbands sat drinking away saying nothing and looking sad , who could blame them with wives like that ? . Everyone else from the 20 somethings to teen-agers and children were partying like there was no tomorrow .

They attacked the buffet table ,even taking some food back to there rooms to eat on the way back home .Just like my family walking around eating with there mouths full and other things like spitting grape seeds on the floor . I had to explain what cavier was and one 20 something guy with a bowl cut hair cut didn't believe me , kept hollaring out " Bullshit, bullshit , no one eats f*cking fish eggs " The # 2 woman who came off like a bully came over and I explained to her that the fish eggs are a delicacy .She was better, making the real lady like reply of " Well kiss my ass!!! " in amazement .Later saw the guy who had been swearing so much try getting maybe his little brother or nephew to eat some cavier telling him it was poop . The boy ran away screaming and crying which led the old lady with fryed blond hair to hollar out " Somone shut that little faggot up ! " Wondeful woman ! Being real 'sophisticated people' they were also laffing at us southerners thinking there so much better coming from New York .

A couple of other guests came into the Concierge Lounge but seeing this loud possee right out of JERRY SPRINGER left right away . One elderly couple actually looking shocked seeing all the nonsense and I think scared of this one 20 something slight guy who hadn't shaved who just stared at them like he was death . The relative in the army they were here to see shwoed up and they all hugged him . He looked weasely , as they talked found out the judge gave him the choice of joining the army or prison for hurting a woman in a drink driving car wreck . The fool was saying army life can be rough but at least he didn't have to do time for crippling the woman . His people all laffed at that too as if it was something to be proud off. All the time emptying the bar getting drunker and drunker and louder and louder.

Moi began to have her own troubles with them .Had to keep telling the childrens not to run around on the furniture . Told one short very fat girl she couldn't put on nail polish in the room since it could stain the furniture ( not to mention it looking tacky which management doesn't want " and then telling several of them they couldn't smoke.They really saw that as a real insult and kept asking " Why ? " even after they heard me tell someone else. Noticed too how they laffed at how they were pestering me . The 20 something guy who didn't believe me about cavier also wanted to have one of the adult movies you can see in the room on the tv inthe lounge but I said it's company policy not to allow them since it's a family area.Then he and a few others started arguing more with me about there a family and they watch adult movies together all the time so theres no problem I was getting exhausted by that point but stood firm . Referred him to the MOD who had the ultimate approval and they had me call Brendan my boss who was MOD to come up .

Brendan did come up along with security Christophe . As he listened to the guy demand to see a porn movie threatneing he'd never stay at our chain again and wud make phone calls to corporate complaining on VHI the song RED RED WINE came on and the one dork who had scared the old couple off earlier started to do his version for the whole family which was him belching the song . They all thought it was hysterical . In his delicious French accent ( he's from Haiti ) security Christophe asked me why these peopel are staying at a hotel since they 'd better fit in at a zoo . I couldn't help but laff at that . Brendan though told them no porno movie and they had every right to complain . As he left the guy ran out on the hall and yelled he wud ruin Brendan's career. Then came back in the lounge saying he wud have beaten up Brendan had that 'n*gger' not been there . The whole family agreed Brendan had been lucky but since Brendan had been in the French foreign legion and runs marathons it was actually the jerk from New York who was the lucky one . .They went back to getting drunk and loud with the teen-age girl I told she couldn't put nail polish on now pestering me for a drink but I said she had to have i d . The old hag with fryed blond hair first told me the girl was 21 then broke down and said to give her a break and let her have alcohol . I still said no .

The got a call from Brendan telling me asking if I was allright with thse 'Manson family ' and leting em know Christophe was in the room right across from the lounge if I need emergency help . He said to there had been alot of complaints about those people making noise and scaring people off from the Concierge Lounge but he had a plan to get rid of them so don't worry . Really relieved I sat there and in maybe 10 minutes Brendan came back with 2 building engineers along with Christophe and security Bob to let the yahoos know they had to shut the lounge down for 'emergency electrical repairs " . The Manson family looked upset but didn't argue ,they made a few wise ass comments but mainly loaded up on drinks and food going back to there rooms . Know for a fact if folks like them and my people have alcohol thats about all it takes to make them happy.

Later that nite moi saw a few of them peeking in the wedding recpetion I was working . Heard too overnite a couple of them had a huge screaming match /fist fight among themselves. Typical stuff for fools like them .

Moi though wasn't freaked out by this 'blast from the past ' and did her job . Brendan and Bob both say I should get a medal for bravery in the face of yankee scum . Hope I never see them again but who knows , the next time a relative back in the hill passes and I'm at the funeral they may all be there as long lost relatives from up north .

Today in a white leotard and jeans .

[Lena]

We're in the middle of a huge thunderstorm , can hear the booming as I type . The noise can shock you but it's exciting too. Makes me feel deeper and moro excited and also very horny .Plan to have some' nice' rough sex later .....................

Had a nice day of yesterday . We hung around the house with Karin making me help her clean , moi swept then waxed the floors . She did the nasty job of cleaning the bathroom and also fanaticallly scrubbed down the kitchen After a long shower together ( complete with me on my knees eating her out ) we ent out . First to the big 4th street mall downtown for a liquidation sale, that shows how bad the economy is getting here .Even upscale stores at the best mall in the state are going under . Even though it was a going out of business sale when you'd figure prices wud be low they were still too high so we didn't buy anything .

After that in our never ending effort to broaden our horizons we headed over to the Frazier International History Museum where neither of us had ever been before .The place is in a beautiful old building and fixxed up real well inside. The staff were real friendly too. But it really wasn't moi's kind of museum , really the international history of old weapons like swords and battle axes along with muskets . Had a whole dispaly of things from the UK Royal Armouries there . They did have a interesting display of things from a slave ship , had a huge group of black little kids looking at it . Boy's being boys though they wanted to look at the swords and guns more. Karin thought about getting a T shirt but passed , about the only ones our size had the name of the museum along with a picture of a knight waving a sword or guy shooting a crossbow .Not our style .

Some interesting people watching too. Several seniors , mostly men . A f/m couple in there early 20's who were obviouslly madly in love clinging to each other and smiling. Then too some male blowhard about 55 with a waxed handle bar mustache who was lecturing his wife and another woman about all the weapons , as if they wud be interested in things like that .............. Our favorites were a camera crew there making a report about the place for local public tv , a tall gorgeous black guy with his hair in 'rolls and pert ( new word ) jewish woman with a white ball hat on backward who was making jokes about the place with it's guns and swords being full of 'psychological testoserone "

After that we found a cute coffee boutique , the kind you'd expect to find by a museum in a classy old neighborhood. Had a high ceiling with propellar fans hanging from it aand was all white . Like any coffee boutique had sales people working on lap tops and a few stay at home moms with babys . Karin called me a slut for wearing the old white leotard that my nipples shine thru , I laffed and told her as hard as it is to believe I've actually been called a slut before then she laffed . Sad to say no penis people or dykes around to admire my nips.................

By then it was pushing 6 PM so we went to the TRIANGLE thats the big gay area for dinner and after that few drinks . Didn't see anyone we knew so we went home . Spent the rest of the nite drinking & watching tv and playing with the cats ..

Moi is now going to take a shower now , and after that put on some perfume and this belt that holds a long thick plastic thing made in China and go have some fun .................

Head out later in oversized blue check shirt and black skirt and nude garter stockings. At work to the country club there uniform of a white blouse, Kelly green jumper dress , and brown flats .

[Guest]

Rain and sex ................for me the two go together .The dark sky makes things more intense and the rain has added more sensuality to the lovemaking Inside or outside it's always fun doing it during the rain .Yesterday was no exception, we had ALOT of fun . I f*cked Karin with the strap- on then she f*cked me with it . Then we supped on each others bodys with considerable cooing and moaning . Finishing off cuddled together in our own little ball.Sex really is the pleasure bond.

Speaking of rain the towns being bombarded by it.Huge rain storms all over the mid-upper south and lower mid-west . We even have flash flood warnings . It's OK with me , plan on making a fire but keeping all the lites off then m'bating in front of the fireplace . After a nite's work am afraid my beloved is too tired for romancing .

The rain kept most away from the country club last nite . Moi and Meghan didn't have much to do since so few showed up . Most of the time we either doted to the point of being overbearing on the tables we had , looked for things to do so we 'd look busy or talked . Lucky her heads to Florida saturday for 6 days .We also looked out at the rain . It was really coming down , the giant 18 hole golf course was drenched looking like a swamp . Some of the sandtraps always become mini lakes too. Carlene had all of 4 members in the bar but spent the time on MSN with her daughter at VANDERBILT college which she loved .Time started to drag since we were so slow . All of us were happy to get out .

[Lena]

Rain and sex ................for me the two go together .The dark sky makes things more intense and the rain has added more sensuality to the lovemaking Inside or outside it's always fun doing it during the rain .Yesterday was no exception, we had ALOT of fun . I f*cked Karin with the strap- on then she f*cked me with it . Then we supped on each others bodys with considerable cooing and moaning . Finishing off cuddled together in our own little ball.Sex really is the pleasure bond.

Speaking of rain the towns being bombarded by it.Huge rain storms all over the mid-upper south and lower mid-west . We even have flash flood warnings . It's OK with me , plan on making a fire but keeping all the lites off then m'bating in front of the fireplace . After a nite's work am afraid my beloved is too tired for romancing .

The rain kept most away from the country club last nite . Moi and Meghan didn't have much to do since so few showed up . Most of the time we either doted to the point of being overbearing on the tables we had , looked for things to do so we 'd look busy or talked . Lucky her heads to Florida saturday for 6 days .We also looked out at the rain . It was really coming down , the giant 18 hole golf course was drenched looking like a swamp . As we stared out at the water coming down I again noticed how Meghan is pretty and in my old raging sex addict days when I f*kced anyone who asked and was pretty aggressive myself ( when I wanted it I had to have it ) I wud have come on to her , being at work not mattering . But last nite we were just friends having fun . During storms some of the sandtraps always become mini lakes too and the parking lot was full of puddles and flowing water. Carlene had all of 4 members in the bar but spent the time on MSN with her daughter at VANDERBILT college which she loved .Time started to drag since we were so slow . All of us were happy to get out .

I see little georgey continues to lie to the American people and himself too. CNN this morniing says tonite to mark the 5 year anniversery of the Iraq war he's going to make a big speech saying how it's great victory in the war against terrorism . What crap, from what they've said Iraq wasn't involved in terrorism and the 'great victory' has cost almost 4,000 American dead with no end in site . The Iraqis can't even get a government together and experts say fightings going to go on between them for years ............. But george jr. will lie and all the howlers on AM talk radio wil agree. So will plenty of regular people . All the time more of our people dying for nothing and the war we already lost going on and on ............

After my date with Mary Five Fingers in front of the fire place am going to take a nap .Then head out , will go by the coffee boutique for awhile .Since the rain makes me feel so sensual and my audience at the coffee boutique expects a show am dressing sex goddess today in a ribbed black turtleneck , black mini , and suntan support pantyhose with my black boots. Giant hoop earrings too . At work at the hotel the penguin suit and orthies.

[Lena]

Hello world ...................

Am OK , yesterday had many nice points but the best was getting back home at 1:30 AM from work . Thats more or less the subject today .

The day began nice enough . As the fire place burned a plastic firelog naked moi stetched out on the floor in front of it and pleasured herself .It was a good one too, I used both hands to rub away at myself becoming very hot . Finishing I was smiling from ear to ear After that took a shower and then after dressing in the black outfit ( black ribbed turtleneck and mini ) kissed my sleeping gf good-bye and left . Mailed some bills , I'm always mailing bills it seems since even though we're not big spenders we are always getting bills . Then hit the coffee boutique for about a hour . Had to wait at a table for oenof the huge comfy easy chairs to open up but one did . Moi sat next to a old retired guy who was a professional veteran , had a marine crps leaugue hat and matching jacket and for some reason I bet he wanted to talk about being a marine 50 or 10 years ago .

The highlites of the coffee boutique were ofourse the people watching and my own exhibitionism The crowd was mostly office workers from near-by and I recognized the Korean woman from the cleaners across the street . Moi did the usal pullling up of my stockings and crossing and uncrossing my booted legs . All to the delite of some of the cute office guys .The coffee boutique has a new manager , a UK woman named Clarissa whose in her early 30's .She has long rusty red hair like my cousin Francie and seems very professional . Also wears one of those Barbour coats . I looked for the matching Range Rover or Jaguar but couldn't see any ............... WAs nice bing abck at the hotel at elast for the first few hours then it sudenly got to be work again . We were pretty busy .Wore the penguin suit .

Coming home was fun , not in the all excited " I'm free and lets start partying " way but still fun but in a relaxed low key way . There was shardly any traffic and I was home in no time . Got inside quick , even with the knife I carry when coming home so late don't want to linger but get indoors ASAP . The lobby which doesn't have much of a personality with only a wall mirror and mail boxes felt warm though .Right away a warm feeling of ' It's good to be back home ' came over moi .I bet thats a feeling felt by millions of millions of people all over the world whether they stay in a hosue , apartment or hut .

Inside our place I locked the door and then took off my boots , Karin has this iron clad rule of no shoes indoors. Even though she wasn't even there I am so wel trained by now I do it automatically . the same thing with hangiing up my cothes which is ecven more radical for me , in the past I 'd peel of everything with the clothes spread all over the floor and on furniture. Now like a robot or obedient child I peeled off my pantyhose tossing them inthe laundry hamper then took off my turtleneck and skirt putting them in the closet .I put on my blue mini robe and went back in the living room still feeling very warm inside and totally comfortable .

I grabbed a coffee mug and bottle of red and just sat there loving the comfort of being home ......... no noise, no co-workers, no customers , juts me and the two sleeping cats .Ofcourse it wud have been better if Karin was home but still the experience was nice. I was actually adoring the quiet and being alone in my own little home Thats something new for me , coming from a big family with other people ( usually the assholes my mom and sisters were involved with and the kids they left behind ) I was used to always being around others. Being alone was boring & scarey .Thats why I loved the times I stayed in houses with several roomates .But thats all different now , like either being around Karin or alone like at times like last nite .

There wasn't much on tv . I'd seen most of the movies or they looked boring .So I concentrated on just sitting there in the old leather chair I found in someone's trash years ago enjoing the peace and time to myself .The whole world seemed to be sleeping , there wasn't a sound coming from our building and no traffic outside . I dozed off waking up at 5AM and being the fanatic FF'er I am checked in here then went into the bedroom to sleep finding Agatha the cat curled up in a little ball at the bottom .

This morning I woke up pretty refreshed and feeling happy from my time doing nothing but enjoying being home alone . I actually look forward to doing it again . Not much today going on today .I had so much fun in a mini yesterday am wearing one again today . A pink turtleneck and chocolate brown suade mini to be exact . Along with bare-leggs and my brown boots with a 3" heel . At work again the penguin suit and orthies.

[Lena]

Todays post is late , sorry . I was busy with domestic issues and for some reason I keep getting thrown out of FF

Today we went over 93,000 hits for this blog . Thank you all for reading my on.line journal/blog/diary/ exercise in self absorbtion .I love writing it too. Believe me it's all true , even g-trated at times . A I have said more then once if I could come up with this stuff on my own I'd quit bartending and give up my dream of selling real estate to become a writer

Work went fine last nite , first was in the Concierge Lounge then the bar .The big talk was the rain storm hitting the uper south and lower mid west .Some of my co-workers complained of flooded basements which ruined tv's and even in the case of Max the engineer ruined his hand built rec room .It's a nasty one, has caused flooding , ruined property ,and killed livestock and even people . Some of the guests were almost obsessed about it . Heard alot of talk about airplne delays and cancellations along with how horrible it is to be stuck at a strange airport ina strange city . Moi made it a point in the bar to comp drinks for the men saying that since they like and appreciate empathetic ( new word for moi ) bartenders then tip better. In this business you have to use anything /everything to make money , including natural disasters.

Had my own version of THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE UGLY in the bar last nite .You rally never know who exactly you'll see working in a bar but you do get to see ALL kinds

The good started with my friend Rosalind whose a front desk manager , a good manager and a great person . She was MOD and stopped into check on things and also exchange gossisp .Also the cuddly and warm Capt'n Tom head of security who brought in some federal policeman showing us pictures asking if we've seen any of the all gruesome looking people . Happy to say we hadn't , bet some of them are dating my sisters since thats the type they go for . .The BAD but in her own way likeable bad was a coyote whose street name is CANDY . She's a lite skinned black woman with reddish hair, real smart and full of energy .We're supposed to call security when the girls come in but since I like Candy usually look the other way . Although as likeable as she is I also think like every hooker I ever knew she has to be hurting inside and I wud NEVER leave any money around her .She left with two horse buyers from California , I bet to jump on there saddle horns .The UGLY were two yankee ice princesses in there 30's complete with bleached blond hair and long red nails .And ugly they were. All they did was brag , brag , brag and also make wise ass comments about being down among all the " stupid rednecks " Worst of all those 2 skanks left me a small tip .

Have to get moving .Going out in a white ribbed turtleneck and jean mini along with nude pantyhsoe and brown boots . At work the penguin suit and orthies.

[Lena]

Todays post will be later when I am at the hotel with nothing to do .Now moi has to go work a luncheon at the country club .

Heading out in a old falling aprt lite grey crew neck sweater, white T shirt , and old falling apart jeans along with white bikini briefs and a pink garter belt . At work nude stockings and there uniform of the white blouse and Kelly green jumper dres .At the hotel the balck cocktail waitress dress since even though the hotel is almost empty looking nice will be fun and head off depression that comes when I do nothing and can't drink ..

[Lena]

Yesterdays and todays post at last .................

A holiday so best wishes to everyone . Moi works the big feast at the country club later, there having ham and lamb . Then meet my gf at one of her relatives .

Holidays mean slow times at the hotel and friday-saturday were sure slow .The country club where I work PT was slow too, went in saturday to work a working luncheon and all of 3 of 7 people showed up , got sent home after a little over a hours work but was paid for 4 hours .

The hotel was at just 9% which means deader then dead .I went in to the hotel saturday more or less resigned to not making any money and doing nothing leaving me B-O-R-E-D out of my mind . But decided to fight back and have fun . Wore the black cocktail waitress dress and went barefoot but carryed my shoes . Looked forward to working the deluxe Concierge Lounge where I could watch tv on the beautiful huge plasma tv and nipple on cavier and drink . Also later drinking when I worked the bar too . But none of that really happend , more on how that hit me ahead .The employee cafeteria was closed since so few people were working so got to order what I wanted from the family restaurent but had to eat it in the employee cafeteria . Had a chicken ceaser salad. No surprise the food they serve the paying customers is alot better then the food they serve us who are the people who make the hotel work and who corporate always lies saying we're like family to them .

Security was busy all nite though . It always seems that the crazyest stuff can happen when the hotel is so slow . Like the time they found this 300 pound guy in drag dead ( a stroke ) in the hallway outside his room , when the MP's and federal cops in black ski masks with M-16's came in to arrest some army guys who were meeting meth dealers in a suite , and when one guest in a wheelchair tryed bringing in 2 coyotes. They chased the girls off , I wud have let them go up to the room since the poor man's life looked so hard being crippled he deserevd some naughty fun .

Yesterday they found 6 black kids about 13 -14 who had snuck in and were using the swimming pool . The sheltered and whiter then white bread 23 year old MOD saw it as the crime of the century and wondered if they were gangbangers palnning a robbery ( in swimsuits during winter too ? ) but all they really were was kids being sneaky being bad but not really hurting anybody . Good lord not more then 20 minutes from the hotel by freeway kids that age are selling dope and shooting people for heaven's sake . Also by complete chance caught a career crimianal trying to rob all the vending machines . The crook tryed running but security Christophe whose a real jock tackled him with my buddy Barb putting on the cuffs . A bunch of police came , the uniforms to take him to the jailhouse then detectives ( they call each other dicks ) and finger print techs . Christophe spent the rest of his shift awnsering questions . Later my pal Barb found a homeless wino sleeping on the floor of a public bathroom , the detectives who were there interviewing Christophe took him to the jailhouse .Cops having either a devilish sense of humor or wanting to be assholes were pretending to question the disgusting old smelly rummy about the 9/11 attacks , a hillbilly mafia gang murder the other month , and if he's a outer space alien .

The Concierge Lounge started out to be fun but was soon ruined by this selfish 70 something fatter then fat woman . She was in for the rest of my stay there so I couldn't eat/drink She looked like a VOLKSWAGON BEETLE with the weight settled around her hips and booty .She reallyw ent at the buffet table and then decided she wanted to talk and came to my desk and let loose all the time drinking more and more too . A real one sided talked, without even looking at me she babbled on and on then on and on some almost always complaining about something . I heard all a out how her son -in-law is terrible since he won't let her live with his family , how her sisters all have health problems & everything about her gall bladder operation .After over 30 minutes was getting so bored I was actually happy to see the day maid Virginia Winters who despises me come in to tidy up since the woman stopped talking . AFter about 5 vodka& tonics the woman managed to stand up and waddle back to her room where she said her youngest daughter was but by then I had to clean up and close the lounge .

When I was getting my bank the MOD gave me a annoyed look since I was barefoot that anoyed me The bar was a empty , had 4 customers none staying over 15 minutes . But lucky me ( ) got to host the MOD who as in doing his paperwork at a table nursing a club soda he had me bring out to him as if he was the general manager or president of the company I 've never seen a MOD do that unless something had happened in the bar like a accident . Maybe he wanted me to offer him a drink ? Him just being there though prevented me from having a few drinks and also sitting at the bar to watch tv

But since things were so slow for the second time that day got to go home early.We closed down at 11 PM not 12 or 1 AM Christophe was leaving at the same time and asked for a drink but I passed, too much temptation . I wud love to f*ck him but have to be good Lena now that I am mated and it wud hurt Karin which I wud never do . Am so proud of myself for thats self control which runs completely opposite all my past behaviour , it can hard to believe even for moi at times .

Have to book soon for the country club to make sure the rich members all have a "jolly time " as my Irish immigrant boss says Since I have to go tot he family thing later am dressing up .................... lite pink sleeveless v-neck sweater and lite gray pencil skirt from THE MARILYN KING COLLECTION .Also white blouse and nude garter stockings and brown kitten heels .At the country club the white blouse-Kelly green jumper dress uniform .

[Lena]

A nice day to chill..............it's cold along with raining and snowing outside .I already made a fire and coffee is extra good this morning .

Sunday was busy but fun . Worked the country club which was packed , it being a holiday brought more people then usual . May Wah and I worked our bootys off, that dam Meghan wasn't there to help since lucky her was with her bf in the Florida keys . Actually I'm just jealous, wud love to have been there waking up seeing the ocean and going for long walks on the beach . Many members brought guest .There was a real atmosphere of fun in the air at the country club , the people were all dressed up and having a fun time with alot of laffing in the air. But not for us as we were running around cleaning tables and pouring drinks . I also bartended making I think about 25 mixed drinks and at least double that in glasses of beer & wine .Time went fast though and the people were more generous then usual with tipping . Always is amazing to hear the rich folks talk .In the too amazing to believe I heard one woman say it cost the family over $100,000 a year to send 3 kids to private colleges . At another table a man was saying how since we're in a recession he may not get to buy a new Benz this fall and keep with his 3 year old one . I really felt bad for him having to suffer like that ..............

After the dinner ended changed back into my classic clothes from THE MARILYN KING COLLECTION ( pink sleeveless v-neck sweater , white blouse, and lite grey pencil skirt ) then an out to Karin's uncle Bill's where her whole dad's family was .Bill's a good guy , sells insurance but is heart is being a carpenter . A real Mr . Fix - It who is always doing something with his sacred tools and also painted our condo .He has a big ranch style house bordering on the country with a huge window in the family room looking out on the woods behind his backyard .Bill often finds uncommon for critters like deer, foxes , racoons ,and possums in the backyard too . Karin & I guessed he had about 30 people ,even rented a table so everyone could eat at the same time . The eating was already over by the time I got there but Karin saved me a plate . They had a nice sweet ham ordered special from Virginia .Had to watch the drinking which is hard for me . As a alcoholic I usually start drinking and keep drinking till the bottles empty or I am to out of it to care . Bu with the in-laws so to speak have to be right careful .

The atmosphere was nice there too, unlike Karin's folks you weren't greeted at the door by her almost panicing mom telling you to take your shoes off since oh horror of horrors you might bring in dirt . But when I arrived Karin's auntie Sally greeted moi with a smile telling me how nice I loked ( ) and saying to come in and eat .Although I am not one of them everyone is nice enough , Karin's mom even hugged me and her dad gave me a huge smile . Her brother Phil and his wife Denise are always great too. There were so many people including little kids who can really make ALOT of noise it drowned out the gasbags in Karin's family .Namely her auntie Karin whose a real bitch and I don't think anyone actually likes since she's totally selfish and hostile .That vile creature was going on about how bad living in Los Angeles is since there so many people who aren't white there and not many European restaurents Also her single daughter Dawn whose around 30 who opens her mouth and only praises herself never seeming to stop . No wonder even though she's very pretty Dawn has no friends and the guys never stick around long .Lucky for me I had missed Karin's brother in law Matt who is just as bad , especially since he is always trying to show how macho he is or more to the point how macho he wants everyone to think he is .He and Diane had already left to go to his folks .

It's easy geting along with those people , like at work all you really have to do is litsen to them go on about themselves or what there intersted in .I know it's calculating but I want to get along so we don't have trouble .Uncle Bill he told me to call him was pleased as punch to show off the new track lighting he put in his kitchen and hanging pot rack in his wife's colossal kitchen even said he'd install something like it in our kitchen which was wondreful of him . Karin's cousin Samantha was telling me all about how her kids start swimming lessons next week which is great . I never had no swimming lessons , instead accidently learned how to swim when at about 6 I waded too far out into the creek by our house back in the hills and terrified of drowning started kicking and waving my arms around to get back to the bank .But didn't tell her since that wud have taken away fom her excitement about the lessons and given ammo to anyone who wants to mock me for heing a 'billy. Looking at some of Karin's teen-age cousins and even some other older ones now geting into there 20's had us feeling like old ladys . Especially a guy about 18 who Karin calls cousin Brucie whose really into hip hop complete with being in bling and a ball hat on backwards On the way home we joked about buying shawls and osteporosis medicine .

Back home Karin who had only a few hours sleep soon dozed off in her clothes .Moi watched THE L-WORD, the last new one for another year .As so often happens there was plenty of stuff I could relate too .In one scene CYBL SHEPPARD trys to talk SHANE out seeing her daughter saying SHANE is too wild and with her history sooner or later stray . Saying " Shane do you know what the expression that past is prelude means ? " Then going " Ofcourse you wouldn't " then explaining how Shane always cheats & breaks hearts .I could relate , have been talked down to soooooooo many times by snobby people The worst was when my ex took me to party of his friends and one off the yuppy wives just looked at me with a cruel smile on her face saying "It wud be so nice if you weren't here" or when taking lunch to Karin at school saw a guy I went to high school with who back then we used to call STEVE URKEL who broke out laffing in shock at the idea of moi on a college campus . Oh well, f*ck all of them !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also the almost to painful but funny scene where SHANE and the actress from JENNY'S movie end up having rebound sex . JENNY and the actress were a couple but broke up and the actress was very upset about that . After talking she and the sex magnate SHANE wound up doing it outside.But what they don't know was JENNY is on her way to make up with the actress.Guess who catches them with SHANE giving face to the actress ? Yes a VERY VERY po'd JENNY We'll have to wait till next year to find out what happens .............

I've seen situations like that happen so so so many many many times My friend Celeste was dating a a penis person and they'd planned to u-haul but being the typical committment shy male he backed off and they broke up for a few weeks .The suddenly Mr. Cold Feet decided to take the plunge he went over to Celeste's and using the key he still had went inside only to find Celeste sport f*cking with this insane hyper blond woman named Monica . That really ended it . Also years ago my auntie Lurleen cheated on her live in bf Taw with this black guy from work and for a few weeks they broke up . Taw and I had always gotten along real good and nature took it's course. Even though he was 24 and I was 15 some how Taw and I started dating , which amounted to mainly f*cking ( Taw was the first guy to actually put his penis in my 'love cavern' ) with me moving in with him for awhile .Auntie Lurleen changed her mind and wanted to get back with Taw and came over to ask my mom how to do that but arriving just as Taw and I were leaving for a movie . That created a rift for a long time , but it all got put to rest with me Auntie Lurleen getting close again . We even joke about Taw's not all that great lovemaking abilitys and idiocy .

I went to bed later laffing about how all that stuff was so eeerily true in my case.But then those experiences have to be pretty typical , bet they all happend to the writers .Something else to about revolving relationships too I'll post about tomorrow .

Today in a navy blue turtleneck and tan cargo pants .............

[Lena]

I'm back !

Hope no one has been pining away for my almost daily posts or worried that I wasn't coming back . Things have been very busy this week and I haven't had time to post .Been running around very very busy .If anyone cares I've been in jeans or army pants on my own time and wearing the penguin suit at work .

Nothing really new . My best friend Leslie 's ex is going to Iraq for 6 months at least to work for a secuity company starting in june so Leslie will be moving into his way too macho but still nice old farm house to take care of there boy . She gets the summer off , Bill is paying for everything and giving her $300 a week . No partys , no heavy drinking , no dope , and definitely no lovers though which for Les may be impossible to live up too but she says she's going to give it a good try , hope it works out. .She's already partying hardy in preperation for her upcoming duty as a model tv mom and enjoying it completely . Decadence is in the girl's blood and thats one reason why I've always loved her .Les too is also very very much looking forward to for the first time in years living under the same roof as her son and spending time with him .Moi is also looking forward to visiting and using the pool and sauna handy man Bill built .

Karin and I had one of our few fights in 4 years together this week and it got nasty .Leaving both of us pretty worn out . Moi has been pretty open in this blog talking about many private and personal things like psych issues , family problems , my sexuality even missing periods last year but this is where I draw the line and am going to be quiet . My relationship is holy to me and will keep the news to myself it did get very hostile with both of us saying to many things we didn't mean and now really regret .Happy to say we're still together and a whole lot smarter about keeping control of ourselves during fights . Neither one of us wants to see this end .You reallly do have to work at a relationship to keep it going

Not much today , Karin is sleeping so moi is going to leave so she can have peace and quiet .Heading over to Frieda's coffee boutique/used book store by UL then work . Going out in a yellow polar fleece top , white T shirt , and tan cargo pants . At work tonite the black cocktail waitress dress, nude garter stockings , and black flats .


MORE TOMORROW !!!!!!

[Lena]

See I'm back like I promised......................

Do like the energy in this forum , some of the post may be wierd but unlike many other forums the people are always posting . Nice to see.

Am OK , although the fighting this week at home took alot out of me . I hate arguing since it never solves anything and it all brought back many bad memorys since I grew up in a family where fighting was a way of life. Every day somebody was arguing or hitting and never want to go back to that way of life .I also don't want to risk losing the best thing that ever happened to me too.Fear can really drain you .Things are back to normal now with all the issues pretty much solved and the air cleared but moi is still tired . It looks like we're going to f*ck with Nevin which I think is dangerous ..................but anything for peace and to keep this going .

Friday was fine though . Went by Frieda's coffee boutique which was hopping . You see so many professors and students there all jabbering aay sounding smart . Also always seem to be a few surviving beatnicks and hippys .I'm all for outlaws, am one myself but have noticed how some of those people are living in the past Frieda whose a ball of nervous energy( she looks it too, having a dyed white crew cut and being stick thin ) and that German efficiency she jokes about was running around doing about everything and doing it pretty good.In what seemed like seconds she went from talking to me to working the counter to ordering some sandwiches then dealing with a guy who wants to rent the place for a party.I was amazed and could never do that .

Work was allright , wore the black cocktail waitress dress first working the Concierge Lounge which was empty .The business travellers who are the mainstay of the room are always gone by friday so moi sat there with the tv on drinking and munching away .Had one old fat man in a ripped t shirt and jeans come in and take 3 beers and the chicken ceaser salad back to his room and then 2 pretty little black girls first peak in then after I was nice get up the nerve to walk in and load up on cookies

The bar was slow . But at 10PM lucky me got to see my favorite customer Mr. Dyson the cool old dude , he had a deep tan maybe from doing something like deep sea fishing or sailing in the Caribean and was in with a attractive looking woman in her 50's with a thick Boston accent .Those folks have long O's and seem to add r's to anything with a vowel but being so snobby and self worshipping have the nerve to say we talk funny . She was nice enough , had a Margarita .My buddy in security Bob is going to court , his dad passed but left over 1.4 million dollars to charitys not a red cent Bob and his sister . They think the old boy was senile so there lining up for a fight that Bob say will get expensive and be long . That seems crazy to me , leaving money to things like a high school alumni club not your own kids. I guess I'm not the only person to have had a idiot for a father............... Hope they win .

Not much planned today , meeting Carla and Judy for tennis then work . It'll be a slow nite there , no wedding reception and the house is at just 16% .Heading out in old falling apart lite grey crew neck sweater , white T shirt and falling apart jeans . At work the black cocktail waitress dress ( a saturday tradition ) along with nude garter stockings and black flats .

[Lena]

Raining here today but will be in the 60's . Karin got home about 20 minutes ago and is already sleeping .I wud be too, she's on her feet all nite and always checking on the really sick and hurt people in intensive care . She also takes it very seriouslly and puts alot of effort into it .

Seems we have a huge problem , yesterday at tennis Judy told me she thinks that Nevin is making a all out play for Karin which I have suspected .There all members of a book club that meets on wednsday nites when I'm to work . In her own very low key but still scarey way Jude said how Nevin always sits next to Karin , agrees with everything Karin say , and sometimes touches her . According to Judy Karin doesn't act as friendly back which was a giant relief to moi .But I was still real woryed , especially when Judy said they usually go out for coffee sometimes after the meeting ends . Even though I shouldn't have this morning checked Karin's phone to see how Nevin has sent more then a few text messages and has called alot .That was bad enough , the worst was Karin has called her a few times .

Even though she says nothing is going on betwen them Karin wants to add Nevin to our annual sport f*cking list which if she wasn't trying to steal my gf away from me wud be fine , Nevin is pretty with auburn hair and a good body . But now it seems very very dangerous if not insane to go to bed with her . Moi also has also had bad experiences doing this in the past , at 19 had a pretty fun thing going with a cocktail waitress named Cassie but she left me for a guy named Skyler who was our f*ck buddy , at 22 my bf let his ex Colleen stay with us and right there in my very face she tryed pushing me out of my own relationship & home , and I have written here lot about how at 23 I was living with Marady who I thought was my soulmate after some 3 somes only to see her ditch me for our 'best friend' Ryan whose real name was Betsy .

Hearing what Judy said had me in a bad mood for the rest of the day .I was going back and forth from being angry to nervous to derpessed . Going into work was actually a relief since I could concentrate on things there and not this rising up crisis . Wore the black cocktail waitres dress but instead of feeling sexxy just knew I looked good and was anxious to get to work .Was more serious then usual just wanting to do a good job and NOT think about the attack of Nevin . Although I use flirting to deal with my pounding insecurity and have fun I really didn't yesterday , did look at Christophe and as always thought about him sticking his Haitian penis in me and also but none of the usual teasing , just a simple 'hi' . First worked the Concierge Lounge where I was more serious then usual . I always chill up there going barefoot and eat cavier and having a few drinks . But yesterday had no appetite and only managed to gulp down half a Screwdriver . Also kept my shoes on and mostly sat with my arms folded as if I was comforting myself which I really was . At times like this wish I had a real mother who wud tell me everything was going to be allright ............... The bar was deader then Dickens and all I did was end up looking for things to do and even then getting more nervous about things at home ............

By the time the shift ended I was caught up in crisis mode. Am always very happy to get out and go home but was all sober with a lump in my stomach since I am now in the middle of a sh#t storm . Security Arnold Haynes who at 35 or so is the world's oldest teen-age wise ass with a unfunny sarcastic comment for everyone waited outside the locker room for me to change . When I came out he joked about how I went from looking like a princess in the black cocktail waitress dress to now a wino in the old falling apart sweater and jeans .Even though I always ignore him was in no mood for him trying to be the black Don Rickles last nite , so without even thinking what to say or what I was saying just angrily blurted out ' You know Arnold everyone respects you for working 2 full time jobs and having good kids but when you smart off like that we all se you as a big overgrown little boy with a mean mouth and make a jack ass of yourself " He was real startled and didn't know what to say which has never happend before . Arnold didn't talk after that just rolled his head as if I was the one who was out of line or had said something unbeliveable like the planet is flat .................

Have to work at the country club later .Am tired and want time to rest but at least it brings in money and I won't obsess about the crisis. I should have a big talk with Karin about all this but am too scared. I definitely will bring her home some flowers and lemon cookies that she loves though .

Todayeheading out in a periwinkle blouse, navy blue wool mini from the MARILYN KING COLLECTION , nude garter stockings annd brown boots with a 3" heel . At the country club there uniform of a white blouse & Kelly green jumper dress.