Zia, you misunderstand.
I have one. I like it. I wear it every opportunity I get (and I wear sandals every opportunity I get - I don't wear my ring under socks and enclosed shoes though, it's not comfortable).
Not only that, I generally keep my nails buffed to a high gleam (not my fingers though, I leave them natural). Sometimes I've used several coats of high gloss clear rather than buffing (or to let the buffing grow out before re-doing it to not thin the nails excessively). On a few rare occasions I have even chosen color (but only been out in public twice that way so far).
I'm very much in favor of guys taking to this unusual bit of jewelry. And also nail color. And even before that, sandals with more types of outfits (and locations, such as the office), and the necessary proper maintenance on the (now) exposed body parts.
Also, I should point out that I consider myself to be different from the masses and do not like the idea of "blending in" or being a lemming in the least. I drive a rather outrageous looking American sports car with a menacing V8, and I've recently seen my wardrobe transformed to include more sandals, and more interesting and unique colors and patters, even fabrics. I'm very picky about what I like, and it all works together, and it certainly stands out.
Out in public I have gotten lots of positive reactions from women because of how I dress, and/or the ring (and possibly nails) specifically. And quite a few double takes or women going out of their way to try to stare as they walk by, which I find quite amusing.
I don't mean to launch into a diatribe or brag. I hope it doesn't come off that way. I just figured you must've missed some of my previous posts (even in this thread I think), and I wanted to let you know where I was coming from. I'm not one of the cookie cutter masses, nor am I here seeking approval, nor do I need to be converted.
Instead I'm here to talk to cool and interesting people such as yourself, and possibly open a dialogue with those on the other side of the fence and maybe convince a few people if possible. I guess it's part of my nature to debate. lol
With that said.... people "pass judgement". It's what they do. It's not bad, nor is it good. It's nature, and this, simply is. Railing against it is like arguing with the weather, but worse as it's saying you don't like who (or what) you are, and on top of that has a hint of ego as it suggests you think you know better than nature.
Understand I am not accusing you of anything, just pointing out where I'm coming from.
It's biologically necessary for advanced species to form conclusions about the world around them very quickly. We are not any different from our ancestors that shared Europe with the Neanderthals, and really very little different from our even more distant common ancestors.
Threat or non-threat, and attractive or not attractive, are assessments we make about everyone we see, every single day. And we do it sometimes in a heartbeat. And sometimes those are so strong they can never be reversed. This is why first impressions are so important.
What this all means is that we DO need to care what other people think to some extent. Being different is good. Being so different you're an outcast is bad. It's unpleasant and generally makes life difficult, and often spirals out of control.
This is why it's preferable to get just enough people doing and most accepting something (like this for instance) that way you can stand out, but not be seen as bizarre in a negative way.
This is even more important when you are single. Biologically, we want to pick a mate with good genes. Good genes are what attraction is. (kinda has to be really) Let's say for instance a "girly man" (yes, I know it's deragatory, but bear with me). He's not going to be much of a go-getter. And probably not very athletic. So he won't be a very good provider, nor will he be a very good protector. In our ancient past (ie, more natural environment), he would have been low in the tribe heirarchy and not gotten much affluence, or even food, let alone pick of women. This is why *most* women find that unattractive. It's what underlies comments like Fatima's "men who dress like women are not men".
Yes, I know some women dig that look. But we've gone changed out social structure in such a way that people who would not have passed on their genes at one time now can. And we've compounded that with a massive population explosion (word population doulbed from 1970 alone). This means that even though the percentages are tiny, the absolute numbers of oddballs (for lack of a better term) increase.
This is also what underlies men's trepidation for doing "out there" things.
For exmaple, let's take Fatima and Lucinda's comments. I'm not singling them out, they are just handy here. Let's say most women thought that way (I don't feel that is true, but let's say it is for teh sake of example). I'm single. I don't wish to be single. If I partake in this unusal style, I then become unattractive to the majority of potential dates, almost sealing my fate to remain single.
I can't blame people for being human when it comes to judging. But that also means you shouldn't blame people for being human when it comes to wanting to fit in (at least to some extent).
Now like I said, I think that most women actually have no opinion on things like toerings on guys, or they actually like it. My experience indicates those who don't like it are in the minority.
However.... something like nail painting is a different matter.
This is why I suggest that guys do whatever it is they do, in a masculine fashion. For instance, my ring is a silver, wide band (about 6mm IIRC) with a celtic weave on it, and dark highlights. Not inherently feminine at all, and due to it's size, leans toward the masculine. The rest of my style (ok, except maybe my shining buffed toenails, arguably, lol) is also masculine, and I am always described as a very masculine guy by anyone who knows me (and whom such topics come up in conversation with). This is what makes it work, and what has gotten me the positive attention, rather than negative attention.
If on the other hand I wore a dainty feminine toering, possibly even with "jewels" on it, or even multiple (rings). And say went with red or pink nail polish besides and slipped into womens shoes and/or even a skirt...... I think it's pretty obvious that *most* women won't find that attractive. They will also associate people like me, with each of those things. So that any other guy who does any of them, not matter how he does it, will be seen as suspect at the very least, unattractive at worst. It will drive the negative stereotype and reaction.
However, like I said before, you can't blame people for being human, and I would have similar reactions to guys doing all those things as well.
And the crazy thing is, it works. Clothes and style are a label. One that we apply to ourselves. It tells a lot about who we are. Even if it's just dressing like everybody else.
Anyway..... IMO, wearing a toering, or even painting one's nails, is not inherently feminine and doesn't have to be seen that way - IF it's not *done* that way. And as such, I think that guys who like to do it should not do it in a feminine way.
.... er, kinda got a bit carried away there. lol
by Buffed on Mon Jan 08, 2007 4:05 pm 
