I'm 32 left my husband i was with for14 yrs and have been seeing someone new for 5 mnths. He's great, I'm really happy with him after being in a verbally abusive marriage for years. We're talking about moving in together this year. Sex is great, I like it a bit dirty Inc anal haha but got a massive problem - I can't come through oral or hand stimulation from him let alone through intercourse. He tries his best, I'm enjoying it, it doesn't happen, then I just get frustrated and say 'just F*** me', he throws me around the room, that's all good, he comes, but I'm left frustrated, I think well how would he like it if I'd given him a blow job, then had sex for about 20/30 mins, I come then i just stops.
I don't have any problem with this on my own, I can come easily and even do in my sleep sometimes, so I'm pretty sure the issue is mental? I feel a bit shy being totally exposed down there unless I'm pissed. I can't relax. We spoke about it once or twice briefly but I don't know how to bring it up now. It's really getting me down. I think I'm anxious lying there in bed thinking that i can't and he said he feels like he's letting me
How do i get over this? You're all going to say 'just talk about it' but I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY now as it's a sensitive subject, and it hasnt been brought up since. I don't want him thinking he's crap in bed and it's his fault cos I think it's me.
Thing is, the more I worry about it, the less likely it's going to happen ...I feel both mentally and sexually frustrated and will start to feel resentful soon I think as he's getting loads of bj's , anal, loads of sex in general as I'm always randy haha.