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Rejection during pregnancy ... Repercussions

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7 posts • Page 1 of 1

Rejection during pregnancy ... Repercussions

Postby Piepie » Sun Jul 01, 2012 7:35 pm

I recently gave birth via c-section to our first child. During the pregnancy my husband did not want to have sex with me because of 'the baby inside'.I found this very difficult to understand, and felt that the situation and our handling of it was damaging our relationship. I had a very strong need to be physically close to and intimate with my husband during the pregnancy, needs which were not met. We had many discussions about it, some quite heated, some with hurtful comments, but we did not manage to resolve it. I felt unatteactive to and unwanted by my husband as a result.
Today my husband raised the subject of sex, he said he wants it, but hasn't known when the time is right as with a newborn we ate both tired and there isn't much time. While I am happy he is thinking he wants us to have a sex life again, I feel so low about it, and don't know how to move forward. I can't get over the pain of the rejection from last 7 or 8 months. I don't feel that he desires me in the way he used to, and my self esteem feels battered.
I wonder if he were to be romantic and seductive if it would win me over and the issue would be solved, but he isn't doing that, and asking for it would make sure I carried on feeling bad!
I love and desire my husband, and would welcome your thoughts and suggestions about how I can sort this out?
Thank you x
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Re: Rejection during pregnancy ... Repercussions

Postby kinghelfer » Sun Jul 01, 2012 8:40 pm

Piepie wrote:I recently gave birth via c-section to our first child. During the pregnancy my husband did not want to have sex with me because of 'the baby inside'.I found this very difficult to understand, and felt that the situation and our handling of it was damaging our relationship. I had a very strong need to be physically close to and intimate with my husband during the pregnancy, needs which were not met. We had many discussions about it, some quite heated, some with hurtful comments, but we did not manage to resolve it. I felt unatteactive to and unwanted by my husband as a result.
Today my husband raised the subject of sex, he said he wants it, but hasn't known when the time is right as with a newborn we ate both tired and there isn't much time. While I am happy he is thinking he wants us to have a sex life again, I feel so low about it, and don't know how to move forward. I can't get over the pain of the rejection from last 7 or 8 months. I don't feel that he desires me in the way he used to, and my self esteem feels battered.
I wonder if he were to be romantic and seductive if it would win me over and the issue would be solved, but he isn't doing that, and asking for it would make sure I carried on feeling bad!
I love and desire my husband, and would welcome your thoughts and suggestions about how I can sort this out?
Thank you x


:P ...I hope the "R" is close to the "T" on your keyboard.... :shock: ... take a bit more time over the typing luv....... :wink:
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Re: Rejection during pregnancy ... Repercussions

Postby sofiadagostino » Mon Jul 02, 2012 12:58 am

Mm, I might not be the best person to give advice here since I've never been pregnant nor am I married.

But I think you probably need to tell your husband that you felt hurt about what happened, not knowing him I can only speak generally, but I'd doubt that he realises just how hurt it made you and that maybe you need a bit more time?

At least that's how it comes across to me.
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Re: Rejection during pregnancy ... Repercussions

Postby LightRibena » Mon Jul 02, 2012 3:13 am

In addition to Sofia's comments, I also think, in an irrational way, he might have been scared of causing damage.
I like to tell people I have the heart of a small boy. Then I say it's in a jar on my desk.
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Re: Rejection during pregnancy ... Repercussions

Postby garywtson » Mon Jul 02, 2012 7:12 am

Just join this forum and its my first post reply.I think you must talk with your husband explain him what you are going through...told him every thing because if you not then you will hurt yourself by thinking negatively .
Dating advice
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Re: Rejection during pregnancy ... Repercussions

Postby kinghelfer » Tue Jul 03, 2012 2:02 am

:P ....FFS!!! whats wrong with you people...??? They ate the baby!!!!!!!!!!!............... :wink:
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The Quantum Clock. Tells The Time And Doesn't Tell The Time At The Same Time.

Science flies you to the moon...Religion flies you into buildings

Don't get Mad,
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Re: Rejection during pregnancy ... Repercussions

Postby Piepie » Tue Jul 03, 2012 2:18 am

We couldn't help ourselves :)

(perils of iPhones)
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