husband doesn't want baby yet

[Feedback Welcomed]

My husband has kids from a previous marriage. After GOD, he is my everything!! But I need some serious advice. He is older than I am and he knew how important kids were to me. We got married without making a final decision about having kids together. So here's my dilemmas:

1. Well - it hurts me so bad, because I feel like I support every endeavour he does, but he has yet to bring up the conversation.

2. When we have sex (I don't take the pill and he never wears a condom) he pulls out and it makes me feel cheap - like I'm his wife, but he breaks his neck to make sure no sperm goes anywhere near the vagina.

3. I'm afraid of how he would react if I end up being pregnant.

What to do??? Please only mature advice!!!

[H. Franklin Layne]

I think he is sending a pretty clear signal he doesn't want kids. If he had no problems with having more, he would be talking to you. He isn't. If you end up pregnant, it wouldn't be a big shock to him, he's been there before, but I do think he would feel disappointed and probably left out of the decision making on more kids. You'll have to ask him.

[H. Franklin Layne]

Not anything....the more successful a woman is, and the higher the position she holds, the less likely they are to have children. Wanting a career is fine, but you can't put the child first then and go for the gold...it doesn't work, so it's the child that ends up paying the dues of the mother.

Women can be successful with children, heaps of money doesn't always equal success, some of the best jobs aren't necessarily the most best paid, though well paid. Some women can do anything because they are multi-lingual and multi-skilled and have the qualifications. I think you're from the school of thought that likes to see women fail.

No, I'm from the school of thought that recognizes babies need their parents. They need to be put first in the line of fulfilling needs. Career women are split. The company sees to that. How many times have you heard of company (ies) telling female employees, their job is on the line, and they have to decide between starting a family or keeping their job? Around here, that tune is on classic stations because it is so well known. The boss really doesn't care what the reason is for missing work, but you can count on the fact he is keeping track of the number of missed days. Is it right or fair, NO! Is it reality, YES. You can have all the skills and everything else to be a great mother or a great employee, problem is, one is a drain on the other! What's more important...the kid or the job?

Not true if you're married or have extra support from nannies, parents etc. Women can have it ALL And quit acting like women are incapable of getting to work on time. You hate women period and will find any excuse to have a go.

WRONG I don't hate all women, just the mousey, cowardly, exceptionally stupid ones out there! Thanks for playing along!

[beinwalt]

I see a lot of women assuming that marriage should lead to having children. Did any of you discuss having a child with your partner before marriage? There is nothing wrong with your husband(s) not wanting children nor is there anything wrong with you for wanting them; just don't blame him because he doesn't. If you can't live without children and with his decision, you can leave. Like other people have alluded to, it has to be a mutual decision. Best wishes.

[trippex]

Hi,
I am a man and I like to say a few words first I understand females want to be mothers as it is a natural process in life and also a hormone that helps push to that direction also helps our species to survive (as if we are not enough people on the planet already) second looks like evolution is going to help females more as there is no fair in nature only survival. Third why do you think there is so many problems in many families divorce rising to 40%, unfair laws for man eg woman gets divorce because of another man and the X have to support the family while she is enjoying the other mans company. Forth if there is no problems then it will happen don't force the issue but then again you feel you are under pressure because of body clock that effects all woman. Fifth I know people are afraid to be alone and that's why we couple and look for love no other species does that on earth sisxth try to understand what you want, is it a healthy family or a problematic one.
Ok to sum it up I believe its fine to talk about creating a family with your husband but if that becomes an obsession then you have a problem and you cant see it.
So if baby comes it comes dont try to force the issue simple as that.
Thanks