{I thought I'd add a bit of my own to this section - I'm not looking for advice as such, just sharing a confession really as I think this probably happens to others too and I thought I'd put my own experiences out there for comment}
I was out with a (straight) friend a while back, well I say friend but she's really just someone I know (but I like her a lot). Anyway we were discussing a potential bf and the conversation drifted to how she'd always struggled a bit with relationships, then she just lets slip how she'd be probably better off as a lesbian
I was sitting there biting my lip because all along she's assumed my OH is a boy and I just haven't corrected her, (I don't like telling people unless I have to).
The problem is the number of times I've caught myself ogling her body when she isn't looking, one day she's going to catch me doing it I'm sure. You know that bit where you are just absent-mindedly staring and you don't realise you are doing it, then you become aware she's turned around...
Of course I don't think she was particularly serious when she said that, but oh gawd half of me really wishes she was because she is Just.My.Type
Then I end up hating myself because this is such a trust issue for me, and I'd hate to think she would ever start to feel differently around me because of some stupid stuff going on inside my head. I >really< want her just as a friend because I really enjoy the trust she puts in me, but I can't help feeling I'm betraying her slightly by having these secret thoughts about her.
I've since discovered that trying not to let myself have dreams about someone does nothing to stop those dreams from happening ._.
Sometimes she does stuff that my gaydar would see as an 'indicator' in anyone else, I have to keeping reminding myself that my inclinations are just swamping my intuition and that really she isn't signalling anything of the sort.
OH knows I'm slightly Poly and just thinks my predicament is funny
So, anyone else out there trying to keep a relationship strictly platonic ?
