Freedom of choice & Liberty

[Abraham]

Hi CB,

You do not disappoint me. As expected, there is plenty in your most recent post to get my cerebral juices flowing. Firstly, I do take all the points you make. I know I could acknowledge them a little better, but I do listen. Apologies in advance for spelling mistakes and bad grammar. Less time for proof-reading these days. Anyway, here goes ...



The Constitution, Justice and all that Jazz

I had the privilege of attending a lecture at the Law Society last night. It did mean travelling to London but was well worth it. The guest list was greatly more impressive than I had realised. A front-bench opposition MP, a couple of Law Lords, judges, former judges, academics, various dignitaries. I have a particular fascination with the Inns of Court and nearby buildings. All steeped in many centuries of tradition. Once inside I realise that these buildings are not just part of history, they are history. Particularly the large oil paintings adorning the walls. Images of distinguished champions from a bygone era. Men of quality, nobility and honour. Women virtuous, gentle and proud. A time when greatness was earned by pioneering endeavour, no media slave to spin and cheat.

Sooooo anyway, it was an interesting lecture, all about the constitutional structure that this current administration, more than any other, has sought to challenge and redefine (politicise) to its own advantage. It focused largely upon the role of the Attorney General who, under New Labour, has ceased to be independent. The original concept being that the AG would be answerable to the people, not the Government. Even a country like Israel, which you could be forgiven for thinking is less interested in the rule of law - given recent events, can claim a better record.

I won't bang on about it, because I am sure it would be of limited interest. But constitutional law fascinates me and is the area I want to specialise in. The interaction between Government and the Judiciary. Increasingly, the rule of law is being challenged by Government, both in the UK and the USA. It is the rule of law that guarantees our freedoms. Sacrificing freedom for perceived security is a slippery slope, and from which the route back is uncertain. This is the fight I want to fight. It is the ideology within me.

As for your comments regarding committing a crime in your sleep (!!) - you know what I mean - I would agree with you. The application of law is not supposed to be retrospective. Doing so criminalises the individual for simply existing! The recent attempts by Government to introduce legislation allowing terrorist suspects to be held for up to 90 days without charge was, in my opinion, an attempt to take a large step into tyranny. It is for a judge to decide if there is sufficient evidence to detain someone - not a vote-seeking politician. These are fundamental principles upon which democracy is built.

Speeding tickets have, up until now, been something of a legal joke - even for the sinfully guilty. The legal loophole has been exploited to good effect. I am sure we all know what it is, so I shall not contribute to the lawlessness by writing it down here!

You wrote: "Justice in general is failing all of the time. There is no such thing as justice any more."
Again, we may have to agree to disagree on this point. No doubt a product of different life experiences.

I did read about the recent control orders and the fact that they appear not to work. Another example of the Government dreaming up legislation in the heat of the moment.

Reporting of the 12 year sentence for that teenager murdering the 11 year old was prolific in the media yesterday. Setting the tariff for such offences is always going to be an emotive task. Children killing children rouses some of the deepest outrage in society. I did study a great many of these cases earlier in the year and concluded that children and juveniles should be subject to the same sanctions as adults. I wrestled with that one, and as I write it down to you now, I am still not certain if I am correct. These types of crimes appear to be less prevalent in Europe which may be indicative or different social attitudes towards children. However, when they do occur, the focus is firmly on rehabilitation without media hysteria. The reason for my conclusion was that society in this country has not yet found itself accustomed to this type of altruism. The one justification for giving child criminals lesser sentences - or just simple rehabilitation - is because you have a chance to correct what is wrong in a child, more so than you would have with an adult. This is no consolation to the parents of the Jamie Bulger. Having read the trial transcript of that case, the horror of it still lingers in my thoughts.

You wrote: "May I ask, which way will you go when you qualify? Solicitor or barrister? CPS or Defence? "
Well, I had originally planned to be a barrister but ideally wanted to be a Judge. Having been granted an audience with a local high court judge courtesy of a relative who works for the CPS), I realise that this is at least 15 years away. So, being a barrister is the more obvious short-term objective if, of course, I can gain pupillage. It is competitive and, being slightly more "mature" than many students, I will have a mountain to climb. There is the bar-exam to pass as well, which is another year or two. In the short term, I may opt to be a magistrate. I do qualify, just a matter of making it happen. As I wrote above, my interest is constitutional law. Defending democracy, bring law to the lawless, striking down injustice. Those battles are all there to be fought - one day. Loyalty to the people, it is the highest principle.



NSPCC

This subject area is clearly something you know far more about than I ever will.

Personally, I am pleased that the NSPCC does exist. Our society would be less without it. That is my experience. As I understand it, recent failures - such as Victoria Climbie - have caused much soul-searching within agencies tasked with the protection of vulnerable children. You argue that this stance has become too heavy-handed and intrusive. Yet, the other side of the coin is indifference. Damned if they do, damned if they don't. The real test is whether the current procedures save more children from abuse or cause more ?

Taking an absolutist stance on this, I personally do believe that child abuse is rife for one simple reason: It is increasingly available on the internet so, if you correlate this fact with society as a whole, then it would "imply" the same was true. But that is empirical evidence only. As your opinion has been actively sought in the past, you are the expert. Do you believe I have a point? Or am I barking up the wrong tree completely ?

You wrote: "Now what do you think would have happened if I hadn't paid any attention or I'd have said "It was her own fault" (which really it was for sneaking up on the dog as well my fault for not checking the dog was away), what kind of injustice might she have undergone? "
Significant I would imagine. Very significant.

You wrote: "Kids get groomed in chat rooms because they’re let loose on the Internet and they’re not supervised. Their parents aren’t interested at all in what they get up to on their computers. Therein lies the problem."
Exactly. So it is up to the technology providers to address the problem. I believe MSN took some rather unusual steps last year - did they not shut down some of their messaging facilities used by children? I cannot quite recall the details.

You wrote: "Why would you change the sex laws to 18? I know it makes sense because you can’t drink or vote before you’re 18, but at 16 you’re pretty much able to do almost anything, smoke, get married, have children, etc. "
I would choose 18 because bodies mature rather more rapidly than minds. I would like children to be educated to a minimum age of 18. Not told they are free to leave at Easter in their final school year - aged 16. Of course this has been addressed by making the GCSE's so easy to pass, now no one fails. This is not what I had in mind. If these kids are intent on leaving education at 16, then I would be sympathetic to some form of National Service. I would add that I am not advocating that they be brutalised "Bad lads Army style", but in some way provided with life skills in a disciplined environment. Anyway, that is another subject. In terms of 18 - well, I am just a purist and agree with your assertion that 16/17 is still the classification of a child. However, I know that any law introducing this statute would be completely unenforceable.

You wrote: "But my comments on raising the age of consent to 18 were to illustrate the change in social attitudes as the law is changed which gives cause to my suggestion that the law shapes the people, the people don’t shape the laws. "
I take your point, but civil partnerships is one example to the contrary.

You wrote: "On the issues of pedophiles, we’ll there’s only 1 way to deal with them and that’s the lock them up and keep them locked up. I personally don’t understand why someone, (male or female), would find a child of 13 or under sexually attractive. "
You are leaning on an open door with me on this one. Adult females are sexually attractive. Children are most definitely not. In my opinion, the media contributes to this anomaly. Glamourising children taking part on TV shows is a step in the wrong direction. Such are the demands of celebrity.

You wrote: "We always rationalise with the kids why they have been smacked. We make them answer such questions as “Why were you smacked?” and going through the process as to why they have been smacked. "
I will have to think some more about that one. But it continues to be anathema to me. And degrading. I know you will not like my answer but I am just being true to myself.

You wrote: "Both my husband and myself as big believers in limits. We set limits and stick to them, our children know what happens when they cross the line, they start to lose privileges, favourite toys, they get grounded and finally, when they push it that far, a smack. "
I like the idea of losing privileges and having to earn them back. But I would argue that parents tend to hit their children harder than they realise. I am not suggesting that you do, just that it is a matter of perception. Different in adults and children.



Law and Disorder

Absolutely CB. You have taught me something this past week that naively I had not considered before. My credit card never leaves my sight from now on. I stopped using my debit card a couple of years back, largely because any fraud would be far more damaging - IE. it would be my money that was lost. At least with a credit card it is somebody else's.

You wrote: "Homicide is wrong! It’s wrong to hurt other people, it’s wrong to kill them, it’s wrong to steal from them. "

then

You wrote: "But I do think that if more burglars were killed by home owners then burglary would fall because it wouldn’t be worth the risks."

Contrary statements Y'Honour, the witness is clearly confused.
Objection !!
Sustained.
I am sorry, I agree that was argumentative.



The Police

Your views surrounding the Police are views that I have heard before and are very serious in nature. Knowing that this is a public forum, I will not
speculate any further. Except to say, these guys do a very difficult job and are continually at the sharp end of the social spectrum each day of their working lives.

There are, in my opinion, procedural problems with the way in which the Police force is run. One such example is the role of the custody sergeant. This echoes a point you made in an earlier post regarding the status of a police officer in the eyes of the law. If an officer arrests a member of the public - for whatever reason - once back at the station the CS is required to challenge the arresting officer in order to understand why this individual is being brought in. If you watch episodes of "The Bill" then you will see that this step is always completed. But I am not certain it is in reality. It may be that there were no grounds for the arrest but is the CS ever going to take the word of the would-be criminal above that of his colleague ? Is he even going to ask ?

Who guards the guards?



Film 2006

Yes indeed, I know the line you are referring to in the film "Soul Man". I have only seen the film once back in 1987 when it was released. I recall that the C Thomas Howell character takes a scholarship that would have gone to a black single mother. Whilst being a brat-pack movie, it did provide unusually realistic insight - as you correctly point out. James Earl Jones - such a good actor.

Have you seen the film "American History X" by any chance ? Edward Norton, Edward Furlong, Avery Brooks and Stacey Keach. A very violent film but amazingly powerful. For me, it described the issue of middle-class white racism perfectly. Absolutely perfectly. It would have been even better had the original ending not been cut. For some reason, and much to the Director's chagrin, it was removed. In doing so, one of the central themes of the film was lost.



Conspiracy Theory

Whoa CB!!!! Whoa! I have been thinking all day about this 40 seconds from Armageddon information you previously wrote about. Clearly I have been dismissive and not understood the gravity of your communication. Having completed a little bit of research on the subject, it is known that there have been some incidents of this nature in the 60s and 70s. But then all of this is history and fully in the public domain. Are you aware of something more recent that has not been covered ? If you have and can provide me with some data sources I will visit my MP (who is no friend of New Labour) and urge him to ask a question in Parliament about it. The people should know. Better to send any information you have on the subject to me privately.



Race Relations

I do not advocate spending budgets on immigrant populations at the expense of the indigenous people. What I do object to is the way in which politicians tap into the latent racism that appears to affect a great many people by raising the issue every time there are votes to be won.

There must be a full and proper debate about immigration, clearly the numbers cannot be sustained forever. Resources are finite. What is required is an effective immigration policy that does not seek to focus upon any minority or treat them as pariahs. As I have written before, if the UK wishes to send its military overseas to indulge GWBs NeoCon foreign policy, then there will be consequences for this country. Cause and effect.

In terms of resources, yes, immigration does have a price tag attached. But many immigrants are also quite prepared to work - and - take the jobs that many UK nationals pass on. And what about the burden of other expenses - such as Benefit fraud, VAT fraud and NI fraud ? Problem here is that a lot of this kind of thing is committed by white-collar "white" people. The kind that do not want to have to read about it in their newspapers.



Eco-Man

A wealthy landowner no less. You are lucky to that woodland, those horses and gardens. I am sure you have worked hard for it. I have been toying with solar panels myself although my own carbon footprint is so small I am not certain it would prove to be economic for quite some time. I have a few trees in the garden to compensate for the CO2 I produce though I suspect I would need more to make it balance. Do you sell the excess electricity back to the grid or do you never have excess? Solar panels are the way to go and will probably become a common feature of all houses within 20 years. All a question of economics.

I have to confess to being a little disappointed that you have so many cars. (shakes finger accusingly). I do have ONE car myself that I use for certain visits that cannot realistically be achieved within public transport limitations. I do cycle the rest of the time. Still, I do not have submarine batteries, solar panels or septic tanks - my credentials are nowhere near that good.

When you say that you can trace your house staff back to the 1500's, you mean the genetic lineage of one family? Five hundred years worth of service? If so, that is very impressive. Does this mean you are going to have to recruit a new family to begin again ?



Good News (Cancelled)

The Good News newspaper is almost paradoxical isn't it? A newspaper will happily print "such-and-such in black baby shocker" but not "such-and-such has had a baby". But your average newspaper editor will claim he - and increasingly she - is only reflecting the public mood. But good on your teacher for trying. I have seen the odd attempt at something similar down here - usually free pamphlets targeted at the student population and funded by advertising.



The Cost of Living

Credit histories can be repaired or, if you leave it long enough, it repairs itself. However, I never did rob anybody, all monies, interest and other charges were repaid. Not that it did me any favours. For me it would have been easier, and cheaper, to cheat and lie. The damage to my record would have persisted for the same amount of time. Such is the price of integrity. But that is all gone now. Lessons have been learned.

I did see the program on Bailiffs although I am certain if was on BBC1 so it may not have been Despatches. The chaps who were the focus of the investigation were obviously nothing better than criminals themselves. I was disappointed that the police. once called, appeared to have no grasp of the procedure the bailiffs should have been following. Whist I would not expect the Police to know the letter of every law they are required to enforce, I would have thought it prudent to have a good working knowledge of the more common situations likely to be encountered.

The whole issue of debt has been reviewed in law largely in an attempt to arrest the poverty that it causes. Once you lose your bank account, you are effectively dropping several rungs down the ladder of life. Six years is a long time. Difficult to get a job or a home without a bank account these days. So, I believe that the motivation for allowing people to be freed from the stigma of bankruptcy early is a good thing. Of course, it will be abused as much as it will help. Human nature eh?



Evangelical Christian

No, I could not convince you that there was a God. Nor would I try. God is not a test of belief, or proof, or penitence, or religion, hope or faith. It is a test of character. God is life. Where you see life, you see the hand of God at work. Do not get me wrong, I have studied theology in some great detail and one day hope to gain my doctorate. There are many sacred texts, many of which I now have copies of. No single scripture is anything more than a jigsaw piece. But my ideology goes beyond simple faith and scientific proof. God is beyond that. God just is. God just is. God just is. It took me many years to discover the simplicity, yet the profound nature of that statement. God just is. I have, on occasion, been privileged to address the congregation of my local Church. Not Parish communion or anything like that, but at other times. It is good to practice the public speaking, an activity that continues to fill me with terror. The eyes of the converted do look for guidance, somebody to point the way. It is responsibility like no other.



Herb Garden

I tried starting a herb garden earlier in the year but did not make enough progress to gain viability. I was too caught up with studying for the most part. I am quite partial to lemongrass and peppermint as well as a few others I have been experimenting with. Do you have any recommendations? Not being a black tea or coffee drinker I had wondered whether it was possible to grow green tea plants using a green house ? I do like green tea although someone told me that it would be next to impossible to grow in this country.

I have been doing a little reading on herbal remedies of late. Not having visited a doctor for around ten years, and not wishing to do so anytime soon, it would be useful to know what remedies were available.



Aren't I Good ?

No, not sex either. No pornography in my house I will have you know. Even my internet cache is clean. Not gay or bisexual. Not wanting to be either. No .. Aren't I good ? Are you impressed ? But you did paint a very compelling water-colour with the craft of your words; one that I held upon the canvas of my inquiring thoughts for just a second longer than I might have done ... But the image of Colin kind of shattered it for me.



Any Other Business

It is interesting that you should comment upon the population of the USA. I read on the BBC News Website recently that the 300,000,000 mark would be passed some time this week. Five times that of the UK, although far more land to spread out in.


Best Wishes,



Abraham

[mogadishu]

as the independent once said, at least people in britain today can sleep safely in bed at night, provided they don't go and catch the tube in the morning.

[Curvey_Brunette]

For some odd reason Abraham my post didn't upload.

I'm out later this evening with friends, so I'll make 'another' reply tomorrow

[Curvey_Brunette]

as the independent once said, at least people in britain today can sleep safely in bed at night, provided they don't go and catch the tube in the morning.

I don't believe anyone is safe anywhere these days.

After all, you can be arrested for almost anything.

Be careful where you walk, gangs often control the streets.

Be careful which pubs and clubs you queue up outside of because the might be someone standing next to you who's upset someone else.

It's a jungle out there

[Curvey_Brunette]

Hi Abraham,

Phew we do some loooooooong posts lol.

I was going to write a point for point reply as we have been doing the past few days, but I’ve decided against that.

First and foremost could I say thank you and without wanting to be patronising, well done for sticking with such long posts in both reading and replying to them. I consider such a quality in a person to be very impressive.

I do admire your desire to be a Judge and your want to make the world a better place, but as you say that will take at least 15 years and I sincerely hope by that time you have no become hardened to the world to the point of viewing everyone in front of you as the same.

I worked at an NCH residential home for troubled and ‘uncontrollable’ adolescents and within a few months I was promoted to head of care. I went into that vocation because I wanted to help the kids out there but the reality is I was on my own.

The system they were in treat them with total contempt, no matter what “break through” I’d make with them, no matter what good I did, it was always undone because the care system for children, (as a whole, I include in this health visitors, social workers, the NSPCC, paediatricians and every other ‘helping professional’ you can think of that deals with children), is ‘manned’ by people who don’t care. They are there only for the wage packet at the end of the month.

I then went into psychiatric nursing as I thought that system would be better managed and after all, the whole point of the mental health system is to help people isn’t it?

How wrong I was, I witnessed psychiatrists prescription up medications to dumb the more vocal patients down. I have seen people who are upset, (often for valid reasons such as they’ve have an item of property stolen or perhaps a loved one has died), jumped on, pinned to the floor and force medicated because it was deemed their behaviour was out of control.

I’ve mentioned the case of the man who was ‘spirited away’ in the night, another patient I recall was a woman who claimed the neighbours were putting snakes through the letter box. Of course this was an outrageous claim and so she was sectioned under the mental health act.

2 Months later when the council went in to clear the house since it looked like she wasn’t coming out of hospital, two of the cleaners were bitten by adders ……………

University was a blast, though I have to admit I spent far more time getting drunk and laid than I ever did studying, but then I’ve never one to get stressed out over learning and exams. I do think that having to “cram” and do last minute ‘research’ does a person no good at all. The more ‘relaxed’ students aren’t taking the piss, they’re simply not putting their life on a piece of paper and if you put it into perspective you’ll find learning and exams much easier.

When I undertook my PhD I specialised in behavioural disorders covering such subjects as NLP, (Neural Linguistic Programming), OCD, (Oppressive & Obsessive Compulsive Disorders), social control, social learning and behaviour patterns. This was ideal for me to work at some of the most dangerous hospitals in the UK so I could run comparative studies into the behaviour patterns of “normal people” who were deemed as sane and “abnormal people” who were legally classified as “Insane”

I learnt about CBT, (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy), flooding, confrontation therapy, rationalisation, logical conclusions, the list is endless. So in essence, if someone is full of S*** I can smell it a mile away.

The majority of the bullshit never came from the clients/patients, but it came from the system itself. It came from the line managers, the supervisors, the senior managers because what they were about had absolutely F*** all to do helping people, it was about dumbing them down and hoping they’ll get better on their own or finding a pharmaceutical solution.

I have worked for social services, the police, the NHS and I have done private practice.

The one thing I noticed with all these organisations is that they don’t want an ‘independent point of view’ they instruct to get a point of view that agrees with their own.

We can see this happening even now, a man gets shot 5 times in the head for being a suspect and yet the officers who fired the shots will not face any disciplinary action.

A man gets shot in the back by Humberside police and the PCA and CPS decide there is no case to answer.

The CPS decides it’s not in the public interest to prosecute a police officer ‘testing a new car’ at 150 miles an hour.

The GMC decide that Prof. Meadows, the expert witness in the cot death cases can have his medical licence back even though he’s destroyed countless lives because of his own self importance.

Those are just off the top of my head. It’s what’s going on all around us all the time. New laws are made and brought in without consulting the public, government office no longer works for the people who voted it in, it works for itself and its own gains.

The police can no longer be trusted and respected, their uniform doesn’t signify safety and protection any more, it strikes fear into most people because they don’t know if they get stopped on the street or while driving if they'll be accused of anything and the result of that could mean they’ll be pinned to the floor and cuffed. Then they’ll be manhandled into a van, put in a cage and humiliated by being made to turn out their pockets.

Defending your home or your family could see you in the dock being accused of murder, attempted murder or at the very least some sort of assault charge.

Anyone who is introduced to the system becomes an easy target and a victim of it. Be this by arrest, by section under the mental health act, or by accusation by some social worker of child abuse, people who find themselves in that sort of situation find themselves completely powerless.

They are given ‘choice’ but if they don’t choose the right way then make that choice then the consequences are dire. Just the accusation is enough to destroy a life and a family.

I do take your point about children not being attractive in a sexual way to an adult, but I ask you this, if you meet a girl in a night-club who says she’s 18 and is drinking in the club, why should you doubt it? You have no reason to and you can hardly ask for ID, even if you did what good would it do? There are plenty of fake ID’s in this day and age of computers, scanners and laser printers.

So the next day you find out your new 18-year-old girlfriend is in fact 14 or 15 years old. Does that make you a paedophile?

And therein lies the difference to me, it’s down to intent. Meeting a girl in a club or a pub is a risky thing to do these days, there are some very advanced 13 to 15 year olds out there who very easily pass for 18+

To me, a paedophile is a male or a female that intentionally makes approaches and advances towards someone he or she knows or suspects to be under the age of 16. To me, the defence of “I honestly didn’t know” is a legitimate defence if the circumstances are that the girl, (or boy), was met initially in a place where adults only are allowed to frequent.

Of course other factors should be considered, such as has the person accused done anything like that before? Once is ‘understandable’ twice is kind of excusable but when it comes to the 3rd or 4th time then it’s obvious to anyone with a modicum of intelligence that all is not as it seems.

Turning to actual child abuse, I do not accept for a single second that it is rife as made out by organisations such as the NSPCC. There are far more instances of abuse in children’s homes, by foster carers, adoptive parents and, (based on the many news reports), from step-fathers towards step children.

I have spoken with my client about relating this here and she has no problems with it. Although I am officially retired, I do still offer therapy and counselling to a few of the more ‘long term’ clients because I don’t believe it is in their interests to be passed to someone else and have to build a relationship of complete trust with someone else.

If you like, it’s my way of having a “social conscience” because of the financial position I’m in. So they pay a ‘token amount’ (it’s a part of the therapy, if they pay something then they see it as paying to help themselves)

One day she was at school collecting her children, one of them came out and as she waited for the other child, she chatted with the other parents and mothers. He boy was climbing on the school wall, he was told to get down several times but didn’t. He slipped, fell on his face breaking his nose and chipping a tooth. Her first thought wasn’t “Is he alright???” but it was “How many witnesses do I have?”

What sort of a society do we live in when parents are thinking that way? And that thought wasn’t unjustified, a week later social services came knocking on her door to investigate his injury, not his accident but his injury.

She had to give the name of every person who witnessed the accident and do you know what? They actually went to each person to ask them what happened. As a result, she was driven out of the place she lived because social services had been knocking on peoples door asking questions about her and her son.

Her therapy was set back such a long way because of this. Her life was basically destroyed because of a needless referral from the hospital to social services and a needless investigation was undertook over an accident that has happened to millions of children over the years.

The system stinks, it’s unfair, it’s unjust and it needs to be scrapped.

[The Constitution, Justice and all that Jazz

The UK has no constitution as such, there was of course King John and the Magna Carta which was supposed to give the population more power on how the country was run and taxes are levied but it hasn’t done any good really. The government in power has blatantly ignored the “unfair taxes” document and has done its own thing.

Though I do appreciate your enthusiasm with your recent lecture, I would have been far more impressed had the lecture have been more of a seminar. I have lectured as a profession in two universities during my chequered career and I found them most unfulfilling because I may as well have just read aloud to the students from a book.

The AG isn’t independent, the GMC isn’t independent, the PCA isn’t independent, they’re all there to side with the system and not with the issues brought before them.

Even in cases where the evidence has been overwhelming they have no acted – The AG takes whatever decision is politically correct rather than the morally correct path, the GMC give back Meadows his licence to practice despite his gross misconduct, the CPS don’t prosecute police drivers for driving at 150 miles an hour and the PCA decide it’s not in the public interest to do anything about officers shooting a man in the back or 5 times in the head.

Those are just examples off the top of my head. Think what I could find if I put my mind to it?

There is no such thing as justice any more.

NSPCC

An organisation of incompetent pillocks who only look for reasons to justify their jobs.

I don’t believe for a single second that many child protection officers actually care about the best interest of a child or what they are destroying when they remove a child from its parents and seek a permanent removal from its parents.

In my profession, I have been asked by the police, social services or an organisation such as the NSPCC to ‘profile’ parents and assess the risk. And do you want to know the best part of all this? It’s all done behind closed doors, the people being “profiled” haven’t a clue they’re being profiled. I have never yet been asked by the child protection services to give evidence on my reports, (mainly because I don’t always see things their way), but I have been asked by the parents to speak on their behalf.

Sometimes my words helped, other times they didn’t because I always gave my professional opinion and not my personal opinion. For example, one man was in counselling because he had posttraumatic stress disorder from the Falklands. The used this against him in court and said it made him violent, which wasn’t the case. His coping mechanisms were dysfunctional and he wasn’t prone to violence.

This is what the child protection agencies do, they look at something and only see what they want to see, they only hear what they want to hear and only take notice of what they want to take notice of.

Children & Chat Rooms/The Internet

The technology is there to prevent kids for accessing chat rooms, the problem is that many people either don’t know about it or they don’t know how to implement it. We use a program a friend of ours gave to us, (what it’s called I forget because he uses it in his Internet shop/Café and so it’s got his shops stamps all over it). Basically we can filter all sorts of thing, cut Internet access to that machine, even allocate ‘time’ that the machine is allowed Internet access.

It took a fair bit of setting up because of the number of computers in our home, (with the exceptions of the bathrooms, we have at least 1 machine in every room. I do a lot of work sheets for my children on them for their ‘school work’ because we home educate them as well as a lot of video editing), and now chat rooms and 99% of the porn is filtered and blocked by the server to their bedroom machines.

It’s easy enough to do, and there are free basic programs like “Net Nanny” available out there, so why children should be unsupervised on the Internet is beyond me. You wouldn’t let your child into a night-club or a pub to mix with strange adults, you wouldn’t let them wander off with a stranger, so why let them loose on a machine that can give adults easy access to them?

House staff

Currently we have a family which has been with the house since it was built in the very early 1500’s, I think they’re something like the 12th generation of that family and so our cook is the great granddaughter 12 times . So yes, we can trace back some of our staff back that far which gives the whole house a feel of belonging and history. We try to run it as traditionally as possible so as not to lose it’s heritage though this isn’t always possible. Electric light is superior to candle light.

A lot of the house is “new build” because of the damage done to it during fires. It was an old coaching house and over the years it’s been extended and extended into what it has been the last 150 years. So some bits of the house go back to the first foundations laid in 1497 and other bits are perhaps as young as 5 or 6 years but made to look ‘authentic’

This is something that is missing from people today, a sense of pride in who they are and their natural culture not the cosmopolitan culture that seems to be breeding. Instead of being proud to say “I’m British, I’m English/Scottish/Irish/Welsh” people are frightened.

Very few people are willing to actually stand up in what the believe in, what they’re passionate about. Dare to speak a truth and you’re labelled a “trouble maker” because someone somewhere doesn’t like the words that come out of your mouth.

But people can make a stand, it’s just they don’t know how to. A friend of mine runs a farm shop selling all sorts of farm produce as well as agricultural supplies such as wood for post and rail fencing, nets for net fencing and a whole host of other things that normally would come in meters.

He has a sign with a Union Jack on it saying “This shop is in England and only speaks English. This means we speak in pounds, ounces, feet and yards not grams, kilo’s and meters”

He’s made a stand but he is the exception and not the rule.

So many kids today get so much negative attention, the only time they feel like their parents know they’re alive is when they get into trouble, be this with the police or at school. One of the clothes washing soap powders is trying to get adults to interact with their kids, to spend time with their kids, to play with them.

My husband and I couldn’t imagine being without our children, when I go out without them it feels like a part of me is missing and I constantly have the feeling I’ve left something behind. As I type this, my children, a few of the village kids and my husband are playing monopoly, the village kids think my husband is brilliant because he’ll spend time with them he’ll talk to them, play with them and have a laugh with them. If they step out of line he’ll pull them back, without having a go.

When I’m old and I’ve lost the plot because I haven’t a clue who I am let alone where I am, do you think my kids will stick me in a nursing home and forget about me, or do you think they’ll look after me and take care of me?

This is what’s missing from society today, it’s all about stuff, what 8 foot HD Plasma TV you watch, what car you drive, what sort of house you live in, what clothes you wear, all that material bullshit instead of the one basic that costs nothing, a sense of family and belonging.

Playing the immigrant/race card is eroding away at who we are, being “European” is a dilution of our core being. The law does shape our attitudes and our lifestyles, the way we think, you can’t escape that and while the law is so unfair we’ll continue to be diluted until there’s nothing left.

[Abraham]

Hi CB,

I hope you and your family are well, and I thank you for your kind words.

You are a titan of expertise in your retired professional capacity, so as I sit here at your table maybe I will listen a little more and speak a little less.


Personal Observation

I have no direct experience of working in the mental health profession although I was quite friendly with a chap who worked in a related field back in 1996. (This is not a story about myself). He was, in actual fact, the boyfriend of my partner's best friend. Having found himself unemployed for a prolonged period, he was delighted to land a job at a local care home. It was a private, though publicly funded establishment nested in a leafy southern suburb. He was a rough-and-ready sort of chap, possessing a limited vocabulary, a naively simplistic outlook on life and a tough steely demeanour, one honed from the ugliest breeding and fiercest upbringing where parental responsibility had yet to find any imperative upon the evolutionary track. Many scars earned from lessons learnt the hard way in the netherworld of the major inner cities, beyond the constraints of law and the currency of opportunist politicians.

This care home housed two types of people. Those who were disabled, though not bedridden, and those who were physically able but not equipped to deal with the demands of daily life. Some of the latter were, unfortunately, of the large and violent variety. My friend had been through the judicial system several times during his life and whilst he had gained a measure of street wisdom, he remained largely unreconstructed. Paradoxically he was also something of a ladies man - I never have got my head around the attraction that the female of the species finds for the bad boy, but I digress ...

In this workplace environment, he fitted in well. The disabled guys liked him because his matter-of-factness never indulged the depression induced by their respective conditions. Never did he venture into the sympathetic "there, there, never mind, it will all be better in the morning" b*nter (do not why that word is banned) that many of the other minimum-wage workers would, for lack of imagination, fall into.

Quite the opposite. At times often greeting their occasional requests for assisted suicide with outright anger and verbal thrashings designed primarily to bring them out of that pit of despair each sometimes fell into. He was brilliant at dealing with the more aggressive types as well. Being one of the lads, he did not need to treat them like patients. Obviously these guys did require restraining from time to time, usually a result of throwing their weight around a bit too often.

His methods, whilst unorthodox, were all part of the unspoken rule-book of the job. The written rules are fascinating although sometimes, when at the sharp end of life, you have to deal with what is, not what you would ideally like to be. My friend fostered a mutual respect with the “inmates”, one that successfully avoided reinforcing the separation of the worker-patient relationship. I recall several occasions where he received telephone calls on his days off - and at other times - from desperate members of staff pleading with him to make his way in because the duty attendants were not able to pacify one of the patients who had not taken the medication. Very instinctive and invaluable.

He gave them six years of good service with many extra hours and unpaid favours. The kind of employee that would routinely go beyond the call of duty without needing to be asked. But times do change, politics and law do evolve in the way that they do. A project to check the backgrounds of all staff - retrospectively - uncovered his time spent at "Her Majesty's correctional facilities" for GBH.

This salient fact was not disclosed on the application form six years prior to the event. He was, later, adamant that it was never explicitly asked for. Who knows? In addition to this, the whole episode put me in a bad light as well. I had previously provided a glowing character reference, the kind of thing you do against your better judgement for those who have nothing else to rely upon. I myself had given some time during the Summer of that year on a voluntary basis, so I was known.

He was summarily sacked the same day. Rules are rules. I confess, I paint a rose-coloured picture and omit certain background information. He was in possession of various warnings for his verbal onslaughts (against the staff). And whilst I do not condone that kind of behaviour, he was not one to suffer fools gladly. Certainly not the “dopey-16-year-old-left-school-with-nothing-and-not-very-bright types” for whom he felt particularly qualified to be a judge.

I encouraged him to appeal the decision and – to cut a long story short – he was re-instated although on very limited terms. Basically nothing more than a night-time cleaner. And, like hawks, the management scrutinised his every move. Gossip spreads and he was quickly re-acquainted with the baggage he had tried very diligently to leave behind.

He lasted three months before calling it a day of his own volition. His CV was back to having no references. A couple of years later he managed to persuade an agency to take him on. Unfortunately, whilst he got some useful placements, it was shortly after this that the Soham business reached its court-room climax. Again, he was terminated. No one wanted to take a chance anymore.

Today he is back on the mean streets. I know not where. That exclusive club of social respectability had too high a price for admission. Debts to society are never truly repaid are they ? In my view, it is not always the system you are fighting, but humanity itself. Particularly the evil that men do. Perhaps you are right, maybe justice is but the deceptive mirage that evaporates when looked upon too closely.


The Common People

I cannot trade educational achievements with you. I have studied a great deal at University level, but a PhD remains something to which I will aspire - one day.

So what is the difference between a normal person and an abnormal one ? Is it what they think or what they do ? Who decides that ? Are homogeny and conformity the expedient gauges of sanity ?

You wrote: it was about dumbing them down and hoping they’ll get better on their own or finding a pharmaceutical solution.
Do you believe that psychiatric drugs have ever helped anyone ? For example, has Prozac ever made anybody happy ? I daresay it has, but I find it difficult to grasp the idea that taking a tablet is going to somehow remedy the immediate environment for anybody.

You wrote: We can see this happening even now, a man gets shot 5 times in the head for being a suspect and yet the officers who fired the shots will not face any disciplinary action.
Probably because there is a great deal more going on than ever gets reported in the media. And to prosecute anyone would be opening up a line of enquiry that might travel more deeply into the core of the ruling mediocrity than the simple minions responsible for pulling the trigger.

You wrote: The CPS decides it’s not in the public interest to prosecute a police officer ‘testing a new car’ at 150 miles an hour.
Despicable and a shameful decision by the CPS. Not one I would ever endorse. As you are probably aware, racially motivated crimes now attract greater sanctions in the courts than non-racially motivated crimes. If it were up to me, I would extend this to cover any police officer, or individual working for the Crown. Such is the abuse of power.

You wrote: The GMC decide that Prof. Meadows, the expert witness in the cot death cases can have his medical licence back even though he’s destroyed countless lives because of his own self importance.
But do you believe that he intended to do wrong ? Intention + action = crime. I am not defending him, only that he would argue that it was a mistake (granted, an appalling one), not an intention to be evil.

You wrote: Those are just off the top of my head. It’s what’s going on all around us all the time. New laws are made and brought in without consulting the public, government office no longer works for the people who voted it in, it works for itself and its own gains.
In my experience the Judiciary is essentially neutral towards the Government. The exception being the current Attorney-General who appears happy to declare his political colours.

You wrote: The police can no longer be trusted and respected.
I am certain there are some bad apples as there are with any profession. But do you believe them all to be at fault and collectively responsible ?

You wrote: But I ask you this, if you meet a girl in a night-club who says she’s 18 and is drinking in the club, why should you doubt it? You have no reason to and you can hardly ask for ID, even if you did what good would it do? There are plenty of fake ID’s in this day and age of computers, scanners and laser printers...So the next day you find out your new 18-year-old girlfriend is in fact 14 or 15 years old. Does that make you a pedophile?
I believe we do agree on this point. Intention + action = crime. If the prosecution cannot prove the "intention" to have sex with a minor then the charge is thrown out. But - as the law stands - and you know the detail of this better than I - if the child is under the age of 13, the offence does not require intention to be proven - it is absolutely illegal. Period. Between 13 and 16, the crime is easier to defend for exactly the reason you highlight, though some form of sanction remains a likely outcome.

My own opinion, as you might expect, is more draconian. Ultimately there have to be rules, the line over which we must not step is to be drawn. If we continue to challenge and blur these boundaries in a way that is increasingly popular, then the very fabric and cohesion of society begins to disintegrate. You cannot have law and order if the exact rules are not known, understood or enforced. If an 18 year old man chooses to have sex with a 15 year old girl, believing that she is 16, then I might be persuaded to entertain the defence of ignorance, or lack of intention - depending upon the circumstances. I would not tolerate a 51 year old man doing the same thing, quite clearly he is demonstrating an unhealthy interest in very young girls, so ignorance is less plausible. It is a matter of degree. The message should be to boys - and I would start preaching it in the schools - DON'T. As was the message in the school I went to.

You wrote: Of course other factors should be considered, such as has the person accused done anything like that before? Once is ‘understandable’ twice is kind of excusable but when it comes to the 3rd or 4th time then it’s obvious to anyone with a modicum of intelligence that all is not as it seems.
You are more liberal than I. I would draw the line at twice.

You wrote: Turning to actual child abuse, I do not accept for a single second that it is rife as made out by organisations such as the NSPCC. There are far more instances of abuse in children’s homes, by foster carers, adoptive parents and, (based on the many news reports), from step-fathers towards step children.
Surely this crime is not any more or less awful as a result of the relationship the perpetrator has with the victim ?

You wrote: I have spoken with my client about relating this here ... a week later social services came knocking on her door to investigate his injury, not his accident but his injury.
I will not arrogantly challenge what you have written because quite obviously your point is an accurate and valid one. If I were being asked to decide on the merits of what your client has been subjected to, I would want to know what had happened, the consequences of what had happened and why she had been persecuted by the authorities. Were they just following their rules or did they believe something else to be wrong ? Without being close to the incident, it does – on the face of it – appear to be a serious injustice.

There was a case in the news yesterday of a mother being given a community service order for killing her young child. Social services have convinced themselves that they could have done nothing more. But for every incident of this kind, the next person is going to be scrutinised a lot more savagely. This I know. It is action and reaction. Just how much choice and autonomy do you want to devolve to the individual ? And by setting this threshold you naturally assume all to be capable of making the same choices and finding the same rational conclusions. Not true I'm afraid. Some form of social service is always going to be required for the less able.

You wrote: The system stinks, it’s unfair, it’s unjust and it needs to be scrapped.
Tear it down and replace it with what ? Do you have policy you can share ?

You wrote: Unfair tax document
Exactly what tax is fair anyway ? I can think of only one. VAT. Those who want to spend and consume more will end up paying the most. Taxing income at source is immoral because you are effectively penalising the wealth creators. Whilst I like the theory of a unified sales tax, I guess it would require much tinkering to make it work properly. Taxing food is never going to be popular and is likely to penalise the more vulnerable in society.

You wrote: I don’t believe for a single second that many child protection officers actually care about the best interest of a child or what they are destroying when they remove a child from its parents and seek a permanent removal from its parents ... Sometimes my words helped, other times they didn’t because I always gave my professional opinion and not my personal opinion.
I ask this question cautiously, and with full respect, so please remember that. Do you feel that, in any way, you have become jaded by the system and therefore may have developed a prejudice ? I ask myself the same question all the time. Continually I probe my own motivations for taking the ideological position that I do. Separating the personal and the professional cannot ever be absolute because we are human beings after all.


Children & Chat Rooms/The Internet

I fully concur with your method. Restricting internet access and content is a parent's responsibility. However, it is also commensurate upon the ISPs to prevent access to the less savoury Internet content. Why does this not happen as a matter of course ? BT have stolen a lead, one that others are grudgingly beginning to follow. Why do these guys wait for the legislation before acting ? I know the answer of course - it is cost.

I do know other people people who have many computers linked up in their homes. I have one single laptop which I can fold up and put somewhere safe after use. This is all the computer equipment I possess and yet I am "advised" that it is still too much of a "bad influence" on my child. Like the TV isn't.

Home education ? Now that is very interesting. Every parent's right although a choice seldom made (in my experience). May I ask your reason for doing so ? Are your children moving along with the State syllabus or have they moved beyond it ?

You wrote: You wouldn’t let your child into a night-club or a pub to mix with strange adults, you wouldn’t let them wander off with a stranger, so why let them loose on a machine that can give adults easy access to them?
Absolutely. It is bad perception on the part of many parents. Whilst you accurately equate chat-rooms, strangers and night-clubs, I am certain this is not the connection routinely made by others. But can you control what your children see at their friend's house ? Are other parents as vigilant as you ?


Britishness

You wrote: This is something that is missing from people today, a sense of pride in who they are and their natural culture not the cosmopolitan culture that seems to be breeding. Instead of being proud to say “I’m British, I’m English/Scottish/Irish/Welsh” people are frightened.
I do prefer the title of "British". Too much separation becomes rather silly. Taking it to extreme, I believe certain sections of the Cornish community advocate a political separation from the mainland. Ultimately any State has to be viable, and this cannot be achieved through increasing fragmentation. However, in the case of the UK, the Welsh, Irish and Scots were originally conquered and forcibly amalgamated into the whole, so a certain degree of regional autonomy is warranted in my opinion. Of course, this should not inhibit the description of “British” being applied.

You wrote: Very few people are willing to actually stand up in what the believe in, what they’re passionate about. Dare to speak a truth and you’re labelled a “trouble maker” because someone somewhere doesn’t like the words that come out of your mouth.
OK, well, I am one of those troubled souls who actually thought Margaret Thatcher did quite a good a job - on the whole. This is of little consolation to those who became disenfranchised by the policies that she introduced. And I not advocating agreement with everything that happened. However, I remember the bad old days in London, with rubbish piling up, the power cuts, the strikes etc. At that time the country was in an economic mess and, whatever else she did, MT got the country off its knees and back onto an even footing. Great Britain stopped being the laughing stock of Europe. This is not a view I tend to articulate very often to others. MT was definitely a product of her time, though it is not fashionable to be quite so utilitarian today. I found her autobiography interesting to read. She was somebody who knew what her values were and set about confidently practising them. Maybe she lost the plot towards the end, as did some of those around her. But history will have the last word.

You wrote: He has a sign with a Union Jack on it saying “This shop is in England and only speaks English. This means we speak in pounds, ounces, feet and yards not grams, kilo’s and meters”
A metric martyr no less? Admittedly the law surrounding this particular dispute has done little to propel the merits of European monetary and political union into the hearts and minds of the great British public. Personally I cannot understand the fuss. The metric system is based upon the number 10 which, for most people, also mirrors the number of digits they have on two hands. The system is really as old as the hills. Of course, it was the French who properly organised it in the 18th Century. Oh no did he say French ? Agincourt = 1066 = 1944 = capitulation = Henry V = Renault = Losing the British Sausage = No curved bananas = Channel Tunnel = Sangatte = Francois Mitterand = Non = De Gaulle = Stealing our women = Europe = Bad = We don't want it here !!!

You wrote: When I’m old and I’ve lost the plot because I haven’t a clue who I am let alone where I am, do you think my kids will stick me in a nursing home and forget about me, or do you think they’ll look after me and take care of me?
It is an unappealing role reversal. Parents are eventually dismissed by their children. It is just the way of things. I do not hope or expect anything. Que sera, sera. But, I do understand what you say.

You wrote: This is what’s missing from society today, it’s all about stuff, what 8 foot HD Plasma TV you watch, what car you drive, what sort of house you live in, what clothes you wear, all that material bullshit instead of the one basic that costs nothing, a sense of family and belonging.
Speaking as somebody who does not own any of these things, I completely agree with you. Can't afford them Only joking. I am not a materialist at all. But I am not sure about family costing nothing .

You wrote: Playing the immigrant/race card is eroding away at who we are, being “European” is a dilution of our core being. The law does shape our attitudes and our lifestyles, the way we think, you can’t escape that and while the law is so unfair we’ll continue to be diluted until there’s nothing left.
And who are we CB ? As I have written in previous posts, I have studied some theology - Eastern mainly - have studied under a Zen Master or two or three, Tao masters as well, and much dialogue with many others on a similar spiritual path. I have partaken in ceremonies, some of which I did not truly understand, have read the lost wisdom scribed in the poetic literature of dusty tomes. I have prayed in a mosque - as a guest – where nobody tried to convert me, behead me, or call me a disgusting non-believing infidel for having a different colour skin. I have also interacted with Christianity of late, a bit of Bible Scholar I am. But the one thing I do gain from it all, above everything else, is the completeness of humanity. The one-ness. I have been around, you know. Seen a few things that others have not seen. Things that upset me badly, things that inspired me greatly. Do realise that man - and woman - is basically good. We will always be who we are for we can never be anything else. Jigsaw pieces in a puzzle with shape and purpose defined within the whole. Our dilution is caused only by graduating away from that collective, a broken path along which society looks for a misguided destiny. I am sure we will disagree, my view is theological not political. But maybe we can avoid being disagreeable.

Best wishes,



Abraham

[Curvey_Brunette]

Hi CB,

Hi Abe

Boy you don’t half take up my time :p

But since I’ve got nothing better to do I’ll try get this repy in tonight on the basis hubby has a stinking cold and I have too!

Ba!!! I hate winter!

I hope you and your family are well, and I thank you for your kind words.

I speak as I find

You are a titan of expertise in your retired professional capacity, so as I sit here at your table maybe I will listen a little more and speak a little less.

I’ve just been around that’s all. For 30 years of my life I slogged my guts out, got out there and did what I wanted to do. But then back then, (if you even think of making ‘reading books by candle light because electricity hadn’t been invented' comments will result in your testicles becoming a new pair of earring ), we didn’t have computers and the Internet and I didn’t have much else to do ……

Personal Observation

I do understand what you’re saying and how unfair it was that chap was forced out of a job he loved, but he was given warnings for being threatening towards staff, this could upset any resident if they were witnessed to it and if someone reacts badly and lashes out at him then a resident could be involved.

The residents were in the home because they were incapable of taking care of themselves from day to day, getting out of the way of a fight between two young and healthy males wouldn’t be possible for them.

And if one of the residents did get hurt? Any private residents would leave, any placed there and paid for by the local authority would be moved. The home would close down and any compensation sought wouldn’t be paid because one of the men involved had a history of violence.

I hope you can see it’s not just “rules are rules” that was applied there, it’s the whole host of factors that go with it.

When I was counselling, it was in my NHS contract that I had to sit between the client and the door otherwise I would not be able to claim if something happened.

To me that’s a bad move, it places a block on the clients ‘escape’ If they become upset and want to leave, they are free to do so, but in that sort of position I’d be in the way. If you’re hurt, angry and upset and someone is in your way from getting out of that situation? Go straight through them, so to me it wasn’t worth the risk.

I have terminated sessions because the client was getting distressed, there are very few psychologists and psychiatrists that don’t terminate sessions if clients become angry, and we’re all trained to spot when we become the focus of that anger.

I’ve also been attacked a couple of times, it happens and it is hard not to take it personally but it’s not personal, it’s a door being opened and everything spilling out. Though I wouldn’t recommend to anyone that belting your therapist is a good idea as not everyone is as thick skinned as me

The Common People

Trading qualifications is like playing snap, life is all about experience. All my qualifications have done is given me access to an aspect of life that normally isn’t available. A bit like I don’t have access to radioactive material because I’m not a nuclear scientist.

So what is the difference between a normal person and an abnormal one ?

Personal opinion!

Some guys love women in black underwear, some think that sort of thing is vile. Some guys think having 2 girls at once is a dream come true, others think that sort of thing is “abnormal”

In order to ask that you have to qualify what is normal to you.

Is it what they think or what they do ?

One of the best indicators is “rapid mood swing” i.e. They’re laughing and joking 1 minute then being angry and abusive the next.

Who decides that ?

In general, society decides.

Are homogeny and conformity the expedient gauges of sanity ?

Not as such, those things help us interact with each other because it’s a sort of foundation that can be applied to almost anyone.

Do you believe that psychiatric drugs have ever helped anyone ?

No

They’re like sticking a plaster over an arterial wound, it may stop the bleeding but it won’t heal the cause.

For example, has Prozac ever made anybody happy ?

Prozac is an anti-depressant and works in a similar to valium and does something to the seratonin levels, it’s also an anti-anxiety pill. It does “dumb you down” to the point nothing really matters any more and anything is too much effort.

Prozac does nothing to treat the cause, it quells the symptoms which is why people get addicted. They need higher seratonin levels and without those higher levels they don’t feel “normal”

It’s kind of like going on a roller coaster, after about 20 rides you become accustomed to it, after 200 rides the second you step off your legs feel like jelly.

Man shot 5 times

For 10 years my husband carried a gun. In the line of duty he has been shot at and he has shot at people. On occasion he’s killed them. Thus is the role of someone in high-risk close protection.

He had to justify his actions every time he pulled his gun let alone shot it. He had to account for firing that weapon even down at the range when he was practising. He had to stand and justify his actions and the only reason why he’s not languishing in a jail is because the evidence supported he RETURNED fire.

The Brazilian chap wasn’t even armed. The officers who pulled the trigger should be tried like a member of the public would be tried if they had of been in that situation.

Police officer ‘testing a new car’ at 150 miles an hour.

But as the shooting proves and this case proves, while there’s one law for “us” there is another set of rules for the establishment.

Prof. Meadows

I knew Medows personally and I have always been of the opinion that is it a lunatic who should be locked away so the general public are safe from him.

Meadows had the power of god in the child abuse world and his word was law.

My own personal belief is that Meadows took one look at the referral, read it carefully, glanced at the medical evidence and drew the same conclusion as the referring expert while selectively picking through the medical evidence pointing out the ‘evidence’ that drew the conclusion the case was child abuse and dismissing any evidence suggesting the contrary.

I have had the pleasure, (at a child abuse conference I attended many years ago, read Meadows’ book “The ABC of Child Abuse” if you want to know what the man is like), and I have the pleasure of telling him to his face that I thought he was a vile and vindictive man who was probably bullied at school and now he’s in the position he’s in the world has to pay.

The mans own arrogance and inflated sense of self importance was his own downfall, no professional witness would even consider pulling numbers out of the air under oath, it’s not professional to do so.

In my experience the Judiciary is essentially neutral towards the Government. The exception being the current Attorney-General who appears happy to declare his political colours.

The AG is rather like the PM or the President, they’re all puppets, (though I have to say George does seem rather apt at getting his own way) who do as they are told by those who hide in the shadows.

The police can no longer be trusted and respected.

The whole system is at fault.

It is not right for several police officers to wrestle and pin a suspect to the ground when they have stopped running and have their hands up.

It is not right for the police to punch people they have pinned in a corner.

It is not right for the police to driver at whatever speed they like and get away with it.

It is not right the police can assassinate a suspect and not be asked to account for their actions.

Anyone joining the force these days is joining exactly into that.

I believe we do agree on this point. Intention + action = crime.

I do think that it is very difficult for a 13 year old or younger person to pass for 18+ and so the line has to be drawn somewhere.

But there are 14/15-year-old girls out there who could very easily pass for 18+

As you say, anyone who is much older than the 16-year-old, (you said 50’s+ I’d drop that to around 30 and under), then even on the ‘first offence’ things should be looked into. But tarring some soppy 19-year-old as a paedophile because they met a girl in a pub or night-club who tuned out to be under age should be looked at very differently.

However, I would ask you to consider this …… If a 16-year-old can have sex, why can’t that same 16-year-old buy a drink?

Child abuse

I’m not placing a ‘value’ on the crime of a step-father who say rapes his 15-year-old step daughter against the natural father doing the same.

My point is that the abuse that does go on with children is on the whole abuse by a responsible adult who is in a position of trust with a minor who is no blood relation to them.

Abuse towards children that are the natural children of the family does go on, but on the whole that abuse does come from someone who is not related.

The child protection professionals need to rid the abuse that goes on within their own care system, (not just to children, but also towards the elderly), before they can address the abuse natural mothers and father may perform on their children.

If I were being asked to decide on the merits of what your client has been subjected to, I would want to know what had happened, the consequences of what had happened and why she had been persecuted by the authorities. Were they just following their rules or did they believe something else to be wrong ? Without being close to the incident, it does – on the face of it – appear to be a serious injustice.

People are funny things and have odd attitudes ….. There’s no smoke without fire and all that.

The people who forced her out of the village had obviously concluded that there was “something going on” to cause social services to ask questions of them.

Not until they are on the receiving end of such an ‘enquiry’ will they truly realise what they have done then the cycle will start all over again only they’ll be the target.

Being savagely scrutinised causes more problems than it solves. A child admitted to hospital with multiple injuries, (this includes bruising not just broken bones), who hasn’t been subjected to a verified ‘attack’ from others, (say as the result of a mugging or bullying), has to be investigated no matter what the cost.

A child admitted because they have fallen off a wall in front of teachers and other parents should never even be considered to be abuse!

While they’re off chasing up some bogus referral made by some dippy doctor because it’s “procedure” some poor family is going without the help and support it needs to keep the kids safe.

Tear it down and replace it with what ? Do you have policy you can share ?

My policy would be a simple one really, pay your taxes, live your life and you won’t go far wrong.

Start pissing people off and you pay the price for your actions.

Exactly what tax is fair anyway ?

A tax people can afford.

Like you I thought Thatcher did a lot for the country though she went very strange towards the end.

When the Tories came to power, inheritance tax was staggered, PAYE tax was fairer, the big earners paid 60% of their money in tax, the poorer paid a minimum of 20%

The high earners had few ‘tax breaks’ and the small earners had more tax breaks. The thing is the tax system has changed at the top but not at the bottom. High earners pay far less tax than they used to whereas bottom earners pay more because they earn less.

As a professional landlord I know that the housing benefit system takes away 60p for every £1 ‘excess income’ a claimant earns. It strikes me that in this day and age, in order to have a decent quality of life you have if you’re a family of 4, (mum, dad, 2 kids), you’d have to bring in around £30k a year just for basic living costs.

VAT always has been and always will be a con while it’s applied to food and clothes. These are basic essentials that should never have been taxed. And if the rich were taxed back at the 60% rate then the £1 would have more value and VAT on basic essentials could be scrapped so EVERYONE would benefit. Hell! VAT used to be 8.5% not 17.5% so perhaps it could be returned to the lower level.

And taxing the “wealth creators” isn’t a bad thing, after all, if they’ve got enough money to create wealth elsewhere they have enough money to pay the tax.

I ask this question cautiously, and with full respect, so please remember that. Do you feel that, in any way, you have become jaded by the system and therefore may have developed a prejudice ?

No, I feel perfectly justified in my view point because I have seen injustice at work. I have seen some terrible things done to innocent people and we’ve all seen the injustice of ludicrously ‘soft sentences’ handed down for some of the most horrendous crimes.

Children & Chat Rooms/The Internet

Internet chat rooms and what people do on the Internet has nothing to do with the ISP’s in my opinion. It’s down to the person in front of the keyboard and if that person is a child, it’s solely down to the parents of that child.

ISP’s offering firewalls, junk mail protection, content protection and such like aren’t offering a service as such. I know of at least 8 ways to circumvent the aj.com search engine and return websites containing material they don’t normally cater for.

People have a view of “It’s done for me so I don’t need to bother”

The package we use polls each computer on our network and queries the calls made by those computers. My computers and my husbands computers cut clean through those filters as we’ve got “server admins” access, our children know that the server, my computers and my husbands computers are OFF LIMITS without exception.

It’s really as simple as that. The ‘adult files’ we have on our machines, (such as the hundreds of thousands of photographs and weeks of video we have shot over the years), can’t be accessed by their machine but are readily available to our machines even if they’re not on local drives.

It’s not difficult to set up and if the computer is a single computer connecting to the Internet then the security set up is much simpler. There is no reason why any parent can’t buy a decent security package, follow the instructions to set it up and secure a computer their child is using against anything of an adult nature.

It’s the job of the parent to look after the child, not the job of an ISP to act as “nanny” for them.

Home education ?

You would be surprised how ‘popular’ home educating is.

Though I do have to say a lot of the people I’ve met doing it do it because it fits in with their lifestyle much better and they do it because it releases them from the bind of having to get up early, get the kids ready for school, take them to school, collect them from school, etc.

We took the decision to take the kids out of school because we didn’t feel it was right for them. We watched, (over a 6-month period), our children go from lively, happy content boys to miserable children who were more ready to answer back.

When we pulled them out of school, I would have classified my children as clinically depressed, they didn’t go out, their friends would call them and they didn’t want to talk to them, we’d collect their friends and bring them round on a weekend to play with our children, but they weren’t interested.

They had more frequent and more aggressive fights with each other, all they wanted to do was sit and play video games alone in their room. On a Friday they would brighten up a little, but as Sunday evening dawned they would withdraw into themselves.

Within 2 months of leaving school, they’re back to being little gits who tear around the house and are out down the village, (though not so much now the nights are drawing in), more than they’re in!

And they say school is good for you????

Our eldest has completed the state syllabus at the age of 11, our aim is to get all of our children through the key stages and the syllabus as fast as possible with a reasonable result so they can concentrate on the proper side of life.

You see the thing is, spending time with them teaches kids. Something as simple as a game of Monopoly can teach children about all sorts of things, how to manage money, expenditure against income, maths, (As in how much money do I have and how much do I need to do what I want to do?)

They do stuff with their dad, like they dug out a pond and it was them who decided how deep it should be, how much liner they’ll need to be able to fill it and what have you. Our eldest went with his dad the other week to collect a proper glass glazed greenhouse someone was giving away, (I’m a terrible scrounger lol, if you don’t want it I’ll have it and I’ll find a use for it), so he helped his dad take it to pieces and rebuilt it back here.

He knows a fair bit about cars, we have an old Jag we’ve given him and OK, so we paid of the parts, but he got a few books, looked on the Internet and he’s got it going again on his own! The only input his dad had in that project was in the heavy lifting and doing a few of the awkward bits as well as a bit of guidance, such as “If it’s not starting check X, Y & Z”

But education today isn’t actually education, here’s an example ……

The other day I was in a charity shop and thumbing few a few old books, there was a half priced sale on and so the books were 12½p instead of the marked 25p. Nothing too my fancy but my son bought one of the books with his pocket money.

The girl behind the counter can’t have been more than 17 or 18, she looked at the book and asked for 25p, my son pointed out the ‘Half-price’ notice and she looked confused. She asked about the half price offer and it was confirmed, then she asked how much half of 25p was because she couldn’t work it out!

That’s what state education system is in these days.

Absolutely. It is bad perception on the part of many parents. Whilst you accurately equate chat-rooms, strangers and night-clubs, I am certain this is not the connection routinely made by others. But can you control what your children see at their friend's house ? Are other parents as vigilant as you ?

I trust my friends with my children as they trust me with theirs and we have one simple rule. If it’s 18+ they don’t watch it. I personally don’t give a flying F*** if my children have seen the same 18+ film in my house on my television, I don’t let other peoples children watch films, (now I point out, I’m not talking about pornography here, it’s more along the Stallone/Arnie films, Predator, Rambo and such like), in my home and I don’t expect my children to watch films at their homes.

If I’m unsure I pick up the phone, I expect the same of them if they are unsure.

As far as video games go, well, so long as there’s no porn I don’t have an issue with my children playing 18+ games, after all it’s only a game.

Britishness

Why do you prefer the title of “British”?

If you were born in Ireland you’re Irish, the same goes for Scotland, English and Welsh.

You can’t escape that basic fact no matter how much you want to and try to.

England, Wales and Scotland have boarders, Ireland is separated by the sea so it’s not all just one thing.

There are differences between each ‘country’, We have Scottish money, English/Welsh money and Irish money, there are differences in the laws between England, Ireland and Scotland, the separations are there so trying to integrate people while such separations remain in place.

To be “British” would mean that we’d all have to have the same laws, the same currency, etc.

I can’t say I’m at all surprised about the Cornish community want a political separation from the mainland because the mainland has gone crazy.

York has declared itself as ‘independent’ from North Yorkshire and now makes its own policy. Even though I don’t live in or near York, but to me it’s worth the drive because the city is so well run.

In all the hospitals I’ve worked in, I have to say that York is the most up to date and progressive hospital I’ve ever worked for and been a patient of.

So if declaring ‘political independence’ creates such an improvement in an area, is it such a bad thing?

I have to confess when Thatcher was in power, I didn’t see where she was going and what direction she was trying to move the country in. But after the power cuts, the winter of discontent under a labour government, she did manage to sort things out.

The one legacy she left that brings disappointment to me is privatisation of national companies such as ‘British Gas’ ‘British Steel’ ‘British Rail’ and such like.

You cannot have a ‘national country’ without nationalised utility services and institutions.

It is an unappealing role reversal. Parents are eventually dismissed by their children. It is just the way of things. I do not hope or expect anything. Que sera, sera. But, I do understand what you say.

Regardless of age, gender, status, class, money, the most screwed up kids are the kids who never had their parents spend any time with them.

In such children, as they grow into adults and find their own way in life, you’ll find that they are the ones that go through divorce and are unable to establish long term meaningful relationships with others.

They struggle to achieve any sort of success because they were left feeling a burden to their parents and see themselves as a burden to others. Their parents didn’t accept them so how could anyone else accept them?

Throughout their formative years the only attention they got was negative attention, teachers at school picking on them, the police ‘harassing’ them, parents shouting at them. It all has an impact and what has the biggest impact at all is being never told “I love you”

And who are we CB ?

Can I just say that there’s no space when you asked a question.

Sorry, it’s just something that’s irritating me. Don’t take it personally, I’m having an operation on my neck on Monday and I’ve got my hubby clucking away around me as though the next few days are the last few days we have together.

I know I’ll be find, I understand why he’s being the way he is so I suppose things are ‘amplified’ because I’m ratty because I have a cold so I can’t have a really good shag before my op, (I’ll be in no condition afterwards to indulge one of my most favourite past times), and the way he’s fussing is starting to get on my nerves. It’s terrible being such a keystone to someone else but I wouldn’t have him any other way.

On top of that, I have the kids giving me random hugs and kisses and telling me they’re going to miss me while I’m in hospital.

At the very least, I know he loves me to bits and there’s no other feeling in the world like that.

That’s the key to success in life, it’s not about money, power, influence, materialism, it’s about a sense of belonging and being a part of something very special.

Religion, faith, ethics, morals, are only pieces of the jigsaw puzzle and are aspects of us. The fundamental core of our being isn’t that though, it’s about finding someone to love, someone to be with, someone you can love be they English, Irish, Scottish, Muslim, Indian, or whatever.

[Abraham]

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[Abraham]

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[Abraham]

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[Abraham]

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[Curvey_Brunette]

You having problems Abraham?

[swee]

Curvy Brunette. I absolutely agree with everything you've said there. Who needs a nanny state?

Me too. Our slavery is masked as civil liberty, pfft.

[Curvey_Brunette]

Curvy Brunette. I absolutely agree with everything you've said there. Who needs a nanny state?

Me too. Our slavery is masked as civil liberty, pfft.

But isn't this a product of mass subservience and the majorities expectation that the government will bail them out?

In the 80's when 'Black Friday' happened and billions were wiped out on the stocks and shares markets, those that lost money screamed blue murder that they should be given 'compensation'

When the Lloyds fiasco happened, again those who lost money screamed that the government should help them out.

It happened again with Barrings and it's happened again recently with the FarePak collapse with people wanting Tony Blair to become personally involved and asking the nanny state to sort it out for them.