Holiday Fling

[mulegirl58]

And before anyone makes naive comments such as "there must be something wrong in your marriage or....etc" my marriage is good and we love each other deeply. But as you go through life circumstances, events, feelings, opinions, occur which NOBODY can predict or even explain.

[SM]

and the point of telling all about something which happened 12 years ago, before the birth of 2 children would be what?

Woah....! Your last post is all about 'I don't DO guilt wink wink...' and suddenly you are as prickly as a hairbrush. And how am I supposed to know when or what you did????

There is no point in telling. I have not suggested that you do. All I am saying is that you have not had the consequence, just the 'getting away with it' so you have not had to experience guilt, except within your own controlled parameters.

Ask yourself how you would feel if your husband walked in on you and another fella, having sex. Are you telling me that you would not feel guilty???? Are you suggesting that there would not be some horrific consequences that would affect you, your husband, 2 kids, in-laws, friends, etc, etc...

It's the same thing, except you got caught.

[bunsy]

Hi Mulegirl,

I couldn't answer your PM because it said the administrator hasn't allowed me to. Don't know why, in any case, you could explain yourself better in this thread.

What I wanted to say was, maybe you don't love your husband as deeply if you could have a holiday fling.

[amandada]

and the point of telling all about something which happened 12 years ago, before the birth of 2 children would be what?

Woah....! Your last post is all about 'I don't DO guilt wink wink...' and suddenly you are as prickly as a hairbrush. And how am I supposed to know when or what you did????

There is no point in telling. I have not suggested that you do. All I am saying is that you have not had the consequence, just the 'getting away with it' so you have not had to experience guilt, except within your own controlled parameters.

Ask yourself how you would feel if your husband walked in on you and another fella, having sex. Are you telling me that you would not feel guilty???? Are you suggesting that there would not be some horrific consequences that would affect you, your husband, 2 kids, in-laws, friends, etc, etc...

It's the same thing, except you got caught.

My comment about not doing guilt was a tongue in cheek throwaway comment, there's nothing deeper than that.

The thing is, other than the fling I had on a course 12 years ago (which was when I was dating my husband as opposed to being married), I was the most faithful person on the planet, and could never envisage cheating on him.
However, due to a series of events and circumstances over about the last 4 years (not going into details, but they don't involve him cheating on me that I know of), I have been unfaithful to him on a regular basis and "got away with it"
Due to these events, I've found that I've become far more open minded and non judgemental of others-that isn't a criticism of you or what you're saying, just that sometimes in life, things happen and people do things which they would never have envisaged themselves doing.

[SM]

However, due to a series of events and circumstances over about the last 4 years (not going into details, but they don't involve him cheating on me that I know of), I have been unfaithful to him on a regular basis and "got away with it"
Due to these events, I've found that I've become far more open minded and non judgemental of others-that isn't a criticism of you or what you're saying, just that sometimes in life, things happen and people do things which they would never have envisaged themselves doing.

Yaah, yaah, that's fine. I was not offering an opinion about cheating. It was the 'GUILT' thing that I was replying to, for the reasons stated in my previous posts. You are doing what you are doing for your personal reasons. That is none of my business and I would not offer my opinion, and nor should anyone else, unless you specifically ask.

I was simply stating that the original poster maybe confusing guilt with getting-away-with-it.

[mulegirl58]

Due to these events, I've found that I've become far more open minded and non judgemental of others-that isn't a criticism of you or what you're saying, just that sometimes in life, things happen and people do things which they would never have envisaged themselves doing.

Ditto That

[AG]

indeedy

[bunsy]

Ditto That

So do you think you don't love your husband as deeply? The holiday fling was something different as you explained in your PM.

[Shelby - US]

Due to these events, I've found that I've become far more open minded and non judgemental of others-that isn't a criticism of you or what you're saying, just that sometimes in life, things happen and people do things which they would never have envisaged themselves doing.

Ditto That

mulegirl..i am probably one of those naive people that you said something about. im not married yet and the way im going it will probably take awhile.

im trying to think how things just happen cuz it seems to me for someone to have an affair:

they have to decide to begin lying to their husband and probably friends

they have to decide that it is actually ok to do

they have to decide to get the time to do it

and that you would willingly give yourself to another man

i really am just trying to understand cuz i do hope to married sometime too.

[SM]

mulegirl..i am probably one of those naive people that you said something about. im not married yet and the way im going it will probably take awhile.

im trying to think how things just happen cuz it seems to me for someone to have an affair:

they have to decide to begin lying to their husband and probably friends

No, it happens and then you have to start lying

they have to decide that it is actually ok to do

No, you have already done it

they have to decide to get the time to do it

Oh, you make the time, believe me. Go back to point one. Anyway, nothing like a quickie, hey

and that you would willingly give yourself to another man

Again, it's too late by the time you start to think about it.

i really am just trying to understand cuz i do hope to married sometime too.

It's called being swept off your feet, infatuation, your head being turned, lust, sex, animal-instinct. It's all the stuff that a boring and stale relationship doesn't give any more. GRRRRRR!

[Shelby - US]

Thank you SM.

[Shelby - US]

Thank you SM

[Lors]

I think those of you who have cheated on your husbands are vile sluts.

[mulegirl58]

I think those of you who have cheated on your husbands are vile sluts.

Oh how very profound.

When does your school break up?

[AG]

charming!