Just to get started I am a young male (over 18), my parents have been married for almost 35 years and this morning my mom yelled for me to come see her immediately when she had found a message my father inadvertently left open to a woman he was seeing. Upon reading the message I physically became nauseous and immediately called another sibling to come to the house as well. My mother confronted my father shortly after about the message and he admitted to seeing another woman but did not account his "cheating" to be anything physical (which I'm not sure if I truly believe it).
My sibling and I were comforting my mom for the better part of the day during which she cried incessantly which really broke my heart to see her in such pain to the point that I wanted to strike my father if I saw him. He returned to the house later in the night a pleaded for him to believe that he didn't have intercourse with the other woman. I didn't want to get involved but he started yelling at my mother saying that it was her fault that he did this because of their arguments which they do have regularly. I told him to get the hell out because I could visibly see that my mother was becoming more distraught.
He tried to play a victim and say that he would leave the house even though I only asked him to leave the room and let my mother rest in peace without any sight of him. I do feel bad that he left because he looked distraught and he was saying suicidal things and I believe he was remorseful but not to the point I would find acceptable.
I did however vent in anger to my mother throughout the day which I feel may have been wrong now because it may push her to not accept any explanations from my father. I know I need to let THEM work it out since its their marriage but my mother is very irrational and saying the right things can sway her very easily and I don't think she should let him off easily which I felt she might do. I didn't tell her to kick him out but rather to punish him however she felt was right
I'm really experiencing mixed feelings and I really don't know what's right. I really can't look at my father without feeling sick right now and even my sibling won't talk to him now. Do I need space and time in order to sort things out? Do I need to leave my mother alone and let her sort things out with my father regardless of what her decision is ? I don't want to break up a marriage by that little outburst I had with him but I feel their marriage should have ended long ago although I never voiced this to either of them since it might place more strain on the situation.
Any words of advice or opinions would be helpful. Thank you
