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Basic Information On Becoming a step-parent

Discuss with other parents about any issues you have, or even just chat with others
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104 posts • Page 6 of 7 • 1 ... 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

Re: Basic Information On Becoming a step-parent

Postby The Colonel » Mon Jan 18, 2010 1:59 am

Polgara69 wrote:Well seeing as Im talking about your research, you said it all. Im talking about 1st hand experiance from people people living the life. No 'statistics' can compare. And yet again, you refuse to answer questions. Numnuts.


Anecdotal evidence is NOT evidence.

How many MORE times? :roll:

FFS.
The Colonel
 
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Re: Basic Information On Becoming a step-parent

Postby Polgara69 » Mon Jan 18, 2010 6:48 pm

The Colonel wrote:
Polgara69 wrote:Well seeing as Im talking about your research, you said it all. Im talking about 1st hand experiance from people people living the life. No 'statistics' can compare. And yet again, you refuse to answer questions. Numnuts.


Anecdotal evidence is NOT evidence.

How many MORE times? :roll:

FFS.




So you are saying that some beardy weirdy in some far flung uni somewhere knows more about step families than someone who is actually part of a step family? Really?
No the avvie is not me!!

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but when you look in the mirror, you are the beholder.

Currently blocking...cosmicb
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Re: Basic Information On Becoming a step-parent

Postby The Colonel » Tue Jan 19, 2010 2:28 am

Polgara69 wrote:
The Colonel wrote:
Polgara69 wrote:Well seeing as Im talking about your research, you said it all. Im talking about 1st hand experiance from people people living the life. No 'statistics' can compare. And yet again, you refuse to answer questions. Numnuts.


Anecdotal evidence is NOT evidence.

How many MORE times? :roll:

FFS.




So you are saying that some beardy weirdy in some far flung uni somewhere knows more about step families than someone who is actually part of a step family? Really?


Yes, really.

Because beardy weirdy is looking at ALL stepfamilies across SIX DECADES!

So, strangely enough, what happens in yours isn't typical, Polly Pocket. :)

I mean that in a nice affectionate way . . . even though I'm sure it won't be received as such!
The Colonel
 
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Re: Basic Information On Becoming a step-parent

Postby Polgara69 » Tue Jan 19, 2010 6:53 pm

The Colonel wrote:
Polgara69 wrote:
The Colonel wrote:
Polgara69 wrote:Well seeing as Im talking about your research, you said it all. Im talking about 1st hand experiance from people people living the life. No 'statistics' can compare. And yet again, you refuse to answer questions. Numnuts.


Anecdotal evidence is NOT evidence.

How many MORE times? :roll:

FFS.




So you are saying that some beardy weirdy in some far flung uni somewhere knows more about step families than someone who is actually part of a step family? Really?


Yes, really.

Because beardy weirdy is looking at ALL stepfamilies across SIX DECADES!

So, strangely enough, what happens in yours isn't typical, Polly Pocket. :)

I mean that in a nice affectionate way . . . even though I'm sure it won't be received as such!



Really!! I do not remember filling out that questionaire. And I have been part of a step family for a loooong time! And I dont remember any of my friends or family being asked whether they are child abusers or not. Think again mr avoider. And answer my questions ffs. Sorry I forgot, you cant possibly backtrack can you? Even in a pm you dont.
No the avvie is not me!!

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but when you look in the mirror, you are the beholder.

Currently blocking...cosmicb
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Re: Basic Information On Becoming a step-parent

Postby The Colonel » Wed Jan 20, 2010 1:35 am

Questionnaires?! :laff:

Q1: Is your child happy with your recently moved in partner, YES or NO.

I wonder how many would answer that from their CHILD'S perspective? You clearly wouldn't.

That's why "questionnaires" are not filled out on such things.

The evidence stands. There is no point fighting against it.

Have a look at this book preview on Google books:

http://books.google.co.uk/books?hl=en&l ... q=&f=false
The Colonel
 
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Re: Basic Information On Becoming a step-parent

Postby Polgara69 » Wed Jan 20, 2010 7:23 pm

I asked my kids and stepson and they all said yes. The boys because he gives them the time of day and helps them out with various tasks when they ask him. My daughter says because he has a jag and he makes me happy. There you go. Questionaire answered.
No the avvie is not me!!

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but when you look in the mirror, you are the beholder.

Currently blocking...cosmicb
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Re: Basic Information On Becoming a step-parent

Postby The Colonel » Thu Jan 21, 2010 5:41 pm

Polgara69 wrote:I asked my kids and stepson and they all said yes. The boys because he gives them the time of day and helps them out with various tasks when they ask him. My daughter says because he has a jag and he makes me happy. There you go. Questionaire answered.


They don't use questionnaires . . .

and you are assuming their aren't unhappy stepchildren . . .

and you've not read the evidence presented . . . again . . .

Image
The Colonel
 
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Re: Basic Information On Becoming a step-parent

Postby Polgara69 » Thu Jan 21, 2010 6:25 pm

No Im not assuming anything. I asked them. And I live with them on a day to day basis so I think I get a general idea of whether they are happy or not.

Sorry forgot to comment on your 'evidence'. I had a quick flick through piece you prepared for me. Interestingly enough was the graph which shows behavioural problems in various family units. Apart from the first one where the child repeated the grade (might have guessed it would be American research) the worst performing kids were the ones in mother only families. The mother/stepfather family actually did better. So surely this says that it is better for the children overall to have a father figure in their life even tho that may not be their natural father because, as a whole, they perform better? Your evidence sir. I read it as you asked. So back to you. Or would you like me to copy and paste that little gem from your 'evidence'?
No the avvie is not me!!

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but when you look in the mirror, you are the beholder.

Currently blocking...cosmicb
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Re: Basic Information On Becoming a step-parent

Postby The Colonel » Thu Jan 21, 2010 6:49 pm

Polgara69 wrote:No Im not assuming anything. I asked them. And I live with them on a day to day basis so I think I get a general idea of whether they are happy or not.

Sorry forgot to comment on your 'evidence'. I had a quick flick through piece you prepared for me. Interestingly enough was the graph which shows behavioural problems in various family units. Apart from the first one where the child repeated the grade (might have guessed it would be American research) the worst performing kids were the ones in mother only families. The mother/stepfather family actually did better. So surely this says that it is better for the children overall to have a father figure in their life even tho that may not be their natural father because, as a whole, they perform better? Your evidence sir. I read it as you asked. So back to you. Or would you like me to copy and paste that little gem from your 'evidence'?


I have read the evidence.

It refers to why children in stepfamilies have particularly bad behaviour.

I am cognizant of all the points made in the piece but you are diverting from the object of social application, and fail to grasp the social order and construction of the family units considered, and their impact upon inequalities which result in social exclusion, leading to deviance.

Your family is not evidence. It is anecdotal. You assume.
The Colonel
 
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Re: Basic Information On Becoming a step-parent

Postby Polgara69 » Thu Jan 21, 2010 8:59 pm

The Colonel wrote:
Polgara69 wrote:No Im not assuming anything. I asked them. And I live with them on a day to day basis so I think I get a general idea of whether they are happy or not.

Sorry forgot to comment on your 'evidence'. I had a quick flick through piece you prepared for me. Interestingly enough was the graph which shows behavioural problems in various family units. Apart from the first one where the child repeated the grade (might have guessed it would be American research) the worst performing kids were the ones in mother only families. The mother/stepfather family actually did better. So surely this says that it is better for the children overall to have a father figure in their life even tho that may not be their natural father because, as a whole, they perform better? Your evidence sir. I read it as you asked. So back to you. Or would you like me to copy and paste that little gem from your 'evidence'?


I have read the evidence.

It refers to why children in stepfamilies have particularly bad behaviour.

Yes, but it also says that children with a step father do better than children with no step father. Jeez numnuts, this your evidence. You are now arguing with your own points! You are disagreeing with yourself! Do you have MPD?

I am cognizant of all the points made in the piece but you are diverting from the object of social application, and fail to grasp the social order and construction of the family units considered, and their impact upon inequalities which result in social exclusion, leading to deviance.

Big words which fortunatly I understand even tho I come from a step family myself and should be an abused, illiterate jailbird by now.

Your family is not evidence. It is anecdotal. You assume.


How can my family not be evidence. Families like mine are what your evidence is based on. If there were no stepfamilies, there would be no evidence.
No the avvie is not me!!

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but when you look in the mirror, you are the beholder.

Currently blocking...cosmicb
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Re: Basic Information On Becoming a step-parent

Postby Polgara69 » Wed Jan 27, 2010 11:48 am

http://www.gm.tv/lifestyle/families-and ... happy.html

Note the 3rd paragraph down which clearly states that children are happier in happy families than ones that argue even if those happy families are made of step parents. This is evidence. Dispute....
No the avvie is not me!!

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but when you look in the mirror, you are the beholder.

Currently blocking...cosmicb
User avatar
Polgara69
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Re: Basic Information On Becoming a step-parent

Postby The Colonel » Wed Jan 27, 2010 5:21 pm

Polgara69 wrote:http://www.gm.tv/lifestyle/families-and-parenting/44494-psychologist-emma-child-unhappy.html

Note the 3rd paragraph down which clearly states that children are happier in happy families than ones that argue even if those happy families are made of step parents. This is evidence. Dispute....


You realise those who did the study educated me right? They are from my old undergraduate university :lol:

They taught me all this in the first place you know!!!! :mrgreen:

And yes, I'll dispute.

It has always been recorded that any family with conflict is negative family, and one unhealthy for children. That's not news. Greater conflict occurs in stepfamiles. That's fact.

"a child in a lone parent household [is] 2% unhappier than one living with both birth parents, the report found".

A small difference, but a difference nonetheless. Those with birth parents will be happiest (including adoptive families) which is confirmed by further research which I've previously told you.

And the study focuses on things like: the areas where children live, their school work, their future prospects etc. It is a fact, that those in step-families (and also certain lone-parent families) will be at the S*** end of that stick.

You aren't disproving me, you're actually confirming lots of what I've said.
The Colonel
 
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Re: Basic Information On Becoming a step-parent

Postby Polgara69 » Wed Jan 27, 2010 9:37 pm

The Colonel wrote:
Polgara69 wrote:http://www.gm.tv/lifestyle/families-and-parenting/44494-psychologist-emma-child-unhappy.html

Note the 3rd paragraph down which clearly states that children are happier in happy families than ones that argue even if those happy families are made of step parents. This is evidence. Dispute....


You realise those who did the study educated me right? They are from my old undergraduate university :lol:

They taught me all this in the first place you know!!!! :mrgreen:

And yes, I'll dispute.

It has always been recorded that any family with conflict is negative family, and one unhealthy for children. That's not news. Greater conflict occurs in stepfamiles. That's fact.

"a child in a lone parent household [is] 2% unhappier than one living with both birth parents, the report found".

A small difference, but a difference nonetheless. Those with birth parents will be happiest (including adoptive families) which is confirmed by further research which I've previously told you.

And the study focuses on things like: the areas where children live, their school work, their future prospects etc. It is a fact, that those in step-families (and also certain lone-parent families) will be at the S*** end of that stick.

You aren't disproving me, you're actually confirming lots of what I've said.



It clearly states that children are happier with step parents who dont argue than with natural parents who do argue.
No the avvie is not me!!

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but when you look in the mirror, you are the beholder.

Currently blocking...cosmicb
User avatar
Polgara69
Duchess
 
Posts: 2839
Joined: Fri Nov 16, 2007 4:07 pm
Location: Leicester
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Re: Basic Information On Becoming a step-parent

Postby The Colonel » Thu Jan 28, 2010 1:28 am

Polgara69 wrote:
The Colonel wrote:
Polgara69 wrote:http://www.gm.tv/lifestyle/families-and-parenting/44494-psychologist-emma-child-unhappy.html

Note the 3rd paragraph down which clearly states that children are happier in happy families than ones that argue even if those happy families are made of step parents. This is evidence. Dispute....


You realise those who did the study educated me right? They are from my old undergraduate university :lol:

They taught me all this in the first place you know!!!! :mrgreen:

And yes, I'll dispute.

It has always been recorded that any family with conflict is negative family, and one unhealthy for children. That's not news. Greater conflict occurs in stepfamiles. That's fact.

"a child in a lone parent household [is] 2% unhappier than one living with both birth parents, the report found".

A small difference, but a difference nonetheless. Those with birth parents will be happiest (including adoptive families) which is confirmed by further research which I've previously told you.

And the study focuses on things like: the areas where children live, their school work, their future prospects etc. It is a fact, that those in step-families (and also certain lone-parent families) will be at the S*** end of that stick.

You aren't disproving me, you're actually confirming lots of what I've said.



It clearly states that children are happier with step parents who dont argue than with natural parents who do argue.


They'd be happier with a pack of wolves as opposed to an arguing mum and dad . . . doesn't mean we allow wolves to raise kids though . . .
The Colonel
 
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Re: Basic Information On Becoming a step-parent

Postby Polgara69 » Thu Jan 28, 2010 10:42 pm

But as long as they are happy eh?
No the avvie is not me!!

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but when you look in the mirror, you are the beholder.

Currently blocking...cosmicb
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Polgara69
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Posts: 2839
Joined: Fri Nov 16, 2007 4:07 pm
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