My 21 year old son has always been a shy, quiet boy, he is severely lacking in self confidence - made all the more apparent as he has 3 older step-brothers/sister who spill over with confidence and outspokenness, never afraid to say or face anything. I know he is jealous of this quality in them.
The only time he really talks is when he is drunk and then he gets very mouthy and says nasty things to people (me included) When confronted with his actions the following day he says 'I don't remember saying it, I'm sorry' as if that makes everything alright and then he simply forgets the damage he has done.
Last year he had his first girlfriend (she was a lovely girl) and he clung to her almost like glue, I had never seen him so happy. Unfortunately after a few months she broke it off and he was devastated. Also, his best friend moved 300 miles away for a job opportunity and he doesn;t have many other friends. At the same time he dropped out of Uni as he failed his 2nd year and could not face going back (he barely scrapped through the first year)
He does have a job working in the kitchens of a pizza restaurant but moans that he hasn't any money, he actually has about £150 a week spare cash but thinks that isn't enough (I don't have that spare cash a month!) He is full of self pity and seems to think the world owes him a living. More and more recently he has complained of insomnia and feeling down and often takes to his bed at odd hours (though working in a restaurant means he does keep odd hours) and he also spends hours and hours playing . _, I have told him often that he can talk to me about absolutely anything and that no subject is off limits but he doesn't want to talk. I have tried to get him to see a doctor but he will not.
As an aside, I have suffered from depression and insomnia myself for much of my adult life but it is fully controlled by meds.
I just don't know what more I can do. It breaks my heart to see him like this. Can anyone help or make suggestions? Even a virtual hug would be appreciated.