Should I have an abortion?

[Curious1]

I have just split up with my boyfreind because he cheated on me. I am also pregnant by him. Now I dont know what to do. I cant bare the thought of killing my child but I dont want to have his baby either. Please help me

I know exactly how you feel. My boyfriend and I just recently broke up because he cheated on me. There's a good possibility that he got me pregnant too, I'm just waiting to find out after I go to the doctor tomorrow. I hate what he did, but all the same, I could NEVER willingly kill my baby, even if it isn't exactly a baby yet. That's just me though. I'd agree with the whole adoption thing, I would personally never be able to give my child up, but it's a lot better than killing it. Plus, as stated above, there are a lot of people out there that can't have babies on their own, who would love to be able to love and raise yours. Think about it.

[Guest]

And risk all the dangers of childbirth to give your child up for someone else when you could have it safely aborted instead?

[goodguy]

To the guest who started this thread, first let me say that I am sorry about the dilemma you find yourself in. It's a very hard choice to make and unfortunatly you can't make that choice by asking others on a public forum what they think you should do as different people have completely different views on this matter. The only person who can decide what is best for you is you. You're the one who will have to live with the consequences of your choice in years to come. My advise to you would be to sit down and weigh up the pros and cons of having a baby in your life right now. Then seek advise from a doctor or councillor. Also if you can, talk to your family and friends for support in which ever choice you decide to make. Please don't go through this alone.
I'm sorry I can't tell you what to do, I wish I could but I hope I've helped a little, and I'm sure that whatever you decide to do will be the best thing for you in the long run.

Good luck and take care. x

Jin is correct. "guest who started this thread" As a guy I probably hold no sway in this arguement, but I'll lay my 2cents down anyway. As Jin stated "I am truly sorry as well your BF was a dink and left you in such a tenuous position.

I am a firm believer that pro-choice is the way to go. You will "know" what is the right decision for YOU. When you decide to talk about it with whomever (family, trusted friend or a councillor) you will take their advice, filter out what works for you and dispense with the rest.

But whatever you do, PLEASE do N O T let this forum be the arbiter of a decision that has such important consequences.
"Guest that started this thread", you DO have choices. You DO have options, and you alone can make them.
I wish you the love and support you neeed to get through this.

[homefarm]

Do consider adoption - there is a tremendous shortage of young children for adoption here and you would be making a sad couple very happy.

[Guest]

Can I just state..it isn't 'killing' a baby. It isn't actually a child when you are only a few weeks gone, rather as somebody else said, a lump of cells.

There is no ripping it out of you either, this isn't the Victorian era we are living in for Christs sake. You are put under and it is suctioned out of you, and no, it doesn't hurt.

In actually fact it's the same as having a D and C, just because you know there is a foetus in there changes your emotions.

If you are under 10 weeks gone, the 'baby' at the moment is a reminiscent to a peice of phlegm (size and structure wise). It is literally a stick and a sac, about the size of your baby fingernail if that.


And I wish people that have never been in this position could get off their high horse saying 'oh i would NEVER abort my child blah blah'. I used to say that to, but guess what? when you are 17 and faced with no father figure for the child, no prospects and no money, is it really fair on the child bringing it into this world when you can't really provide for it?

I don't know about you, but I don't think so.

[lillujn]

i am one of the probably milions of women out there who is desperate to have a baby i've been told i will never have a baby i long to have one if i had the chance i'd to anything to take it, then there's women like you that can even think of the word abortion, there is a tiny life inside of you that didn't ask to be put there, my honest opinion?? shame on you, if you're not in a long term secure relationship make sure you take all precautions to not get pregnant, because that poor child (if it's allowed to live) will be resented and not loved, when there are women with love to give that can't. maybe i'm angry because i will never have the chance but it's my opinion i don't know you so therefore shouldn't judge you but it's your mess and you should grow up and take responsibility for your actions

[koli]

of course it is killing a child that blob of cells is a life who gives us the right to take that away

[thebigone]

If it's inside your body and you don't want it there then you get rid of it while you still can. having a tooth pulled is less traumatic. There is no need in this day and age to have a baby if it's not wanted. It is not a child until it is born.

[thebigone]

If he was deformed or had a genetic disease that meant he couldn't live a normal life then yes.

[Guest]

as i previously stated, until you have been in the situation where you are 17, no father figure for it because he has run out and left you, no money and no support from anyone........you can't comment.


To those saying you shouldn't abort because they can't have children, I sincerley sympathise with your situation. HOWEVER I think your point is severly flawed.


Let's say you have enough money to buy a Audi TT which I have ALWAYS wanted, but I will never be able to afford it. Does that mean you should buy it on account of the people who want one but can't have one?

Of course not. And you know why? BECAUSE IT'S THE INDIVIDUALS CHOICE.

[steve20]

One word, hon. Adoption.

[MissD]

I wonder what she decided to do??

[MissD]

theres the abortion where the baby is sucked out and one where its pulled almost all the way out but the heads kept in and the brain is sucked out and then its taken out dead...

Dialation & Extraction (D&X, known by pro-life as a 'partial birth abortion') and they are no longer performed (when they were they were performed in this way because it was safer for the woman)

BUT
This is a pregnancy forum, it's really not the place to be discussing abortion views. There was a similar thread (I got caught up in it) here once and a few women were upset by conversations of such nature.
If people want to discuss abortion another thread should be started in a different forum

[Guest]

theres the abortion where the baby is sucked out and one where its pulled almost all the way out but the heads kept in and the brain is sucked out and then its taken out dead...

Dialation & Extraction (D&X, known by pro-life as a 'partial birth abortion') and they are no longer performed (when they were they were performed in this way because it was safer for the woman)

BUT
This is a pregnancy forum, it's really not the place to be discussing abortion views. There was a similar thread (I got caught up in it) here once and a few women were upset by conversations of such nature.
If people want to discuss abortion another thread should be started in a different forum

That thred was called Im 16 and pregnent the girl never mentioned wanting an abortion when people started segesting it that was the wrong place for abortion talk this one is called should I have an abortion, what else should we be talkingt about in it.

[annomous]

I have just split up with my boyfreind because he cheated on me. I am also pregnant by him. Now I dont know what to do. I cant bare the thought of killing my child but I dont want to have his baby either. Please help me

you need to be certain what you want do. i fell pregnant at 15 and was scared to death but i knew that i could do it and that my baby would be everything to me. You need to ask yourself if you love this baby, whether its his or not its still part of you aswell.