by Jo14 » Sun Jan 30, 2011 8:23 pm
Hi there, my first time on this, so fingers crossed.
Despite the origins being a conversation I had sometime ago, I thought I’d post this in case anyone else was grappling with a ‘diaper decision’. Basically it consists of two friends with similar ‘caught short’ experiences that resulted in both opting for the adult diapers solution.
A few years ago my friend and I were chatting over a bottle of wine one evening and the conversation got round to embarrassing situations we had been in. Apparently she had been travelling to see another friend and got stuck in one of those stop-start traffic jams on an auto-route. Not thinking the journey would take more than 40mins she hadn’t been to the loo before she left, so after nearly 2 hours stuck in the jam she was getting quite desperate. However the section of the route she was stuck on passed though a rather built up area on the outskirts of a city (fly-overs underpasses etc). Anyway after another half an hour and much mental anguish, she decided that she would just have to exit the car and answer the call of nature in front of the lines of spectators. Unfortunately, she confided, the tensing of her stomach muscles required to get out of the car resulted in the inevitable, and if you’ve been busting to go, once you start it’s pretty difficult to stop. Needless to say the car seat was ruined; the up side was that she continued her journey to her very understanding friend and was able to borrow some clean clothes and a plastic shopping bag to put on the car seat for the return home. I suspect you find out just how good your friends are in situations like that.
I confessed I’d had a very similar experience except that I was on my way to catch a train for a job interview. I did make it to the station and a toilet but I have never been so stressed out and uncomfortable in my life. Since then I’d had couple of other near misses due to circumstances.
As it turned out, such was my friend’s desire not to be caught the same way again (replacing car seats is expensive) she said she has taken to wearing an adult diaper if she was going on a ‘risky’ journey. She told me I should try it, modern diapers were really very good and it wasn’t obligatory to ‘use’ it, but it was there just in case. I did and my goodness what a relief, it just takes so much worry out of being out and about where toilet access is not certain. On the occasions I have needed to ‘use’ the diaper it really wasn’t that bad and far better than the stress of trying to hold it in when you are busting to go, and certainly better than the other option, thanks for the advice xxx.
Neither of us could be classed as incontinent but it’s also not normal to not go for a pee for hours on end, especially if you take a healthy amount of fluid on board. Personally I think that it is ridiculous that our ‘modern’ way of living provides so poorly for such a basic requirement and I have a lot of sympathy for anyone who struggles in this area on a daily basis.
I’m now lucky enough to live in a rural area where you can just go for a pee when and where you need to (there are lots of trees and bushes, to go behind), which only accentuates the difficulties when I have to make the odd return to city life. To be honest when I do return I’ve got so fed up with playing toilet lotto, I just diaper up and be done with, life really is too short to spend it worrying about finding a public loo that isn’t a health hazard. I guess if you were being really pragmatic about things you might argue that to use a half-way decent public loo you’ll probably have to pay a Euro or more, about the same price as a diaper. Of course you don’t have run round all over the place looking for a diaper and then have to queue to use it.
From experience, some practical points of diaper wearing include choosing sensible clothing. If you go for low cut jeans and a crop top, the frilly plastic that will inevitably adorn your waist will attract comments about your choice of underwear, so a combination with plenty of overlap is a good idea. Also, dark colours or patterns would hide a damp spot most effectively. If you do need to ‘use’ the diaper try and do it standing up, gravity will be on your side, then give it a couple of minutes for the pee to disperse before sitting; after about 5mins you’ll hardly notice that you’ve been. Don’t push your luck though, most quality brands of adult diaper will hold one bladder full, as long as there is sufficient time for it to disperse; if you get too carried away, what went in will come back out when you sit down! For extra capacity you can get booster pads, but be warned modern diapers/pads expand a lot when they’re wet. Attempting to sit politely with your knees together with what feels like a small pillow between your legs can be a little disconcerting. Try and choose a brand that allows the tapes to be re-fastened easily, so you can loosen the diaper and go as normal, loos permitting. I personally use Tena slips, they are very comfortable and the reinforced panel at the front means the tapes can be re-positioned anywhere and as often as necessary, ideal for my purposes. I found a wet diaper will tend to sag a bit but find I am most comfortable if it is kept close to the body, so knickers of the Bridget Jones style are best if you’re wearing a skirt or very loose trousers. Not very sexy, but we are looking at practicalities and I don’t think the lacy black stuff would have quite the same appeal with a diaper underneath. Mind you anything’s possible when you see what passes for fashion these days and hey, it might even save you from a drunken mistake if you’re out on the town. Finally, carry a decent size *a**a* or equivalent with a spare diaper, wipes and some small plastic bags for used diapers.
Ideally of course none of this would be necessary, but if you are fed up with crossing your legs and worrying about finding a loo, give diapers a go, at least you’ll have another option. I personally have found it quite liberating and like the comfort and security that it gives. Especially once you get your head round the fact everyone else is far too wrapped up in their own lives to be looking carefully to see if you might be wearing a diaper. If I don’t need to ‘use’ the diaper then it’s really just nicely padded underwear, if I do then it’s saved me a lot of anxiety, discomfort and possible embarrassment.
So, somewhat longer than I planned, but I hope it gives anyone wrestling with the idea of wearing diapers a little confidence to give it a go, you never know you might be surprised at how reassuring and practical it is.
If you do decide to, I’d recommend a few trial runs in the privacy of your own home, you need to have confidence that the diaper will do its job. The feeling of wetting yourself is very unnatural if you are basically continent, and the idea is to reduce anxiety not add to it. As I mentioned before, the wet feeling doesn’t last very long with a modern diaper and you are comfortable again very quickly. Think of it as a private loo, if you really need to go and can get to a decent toilet, great, if not then use the diaper. Even just having the option to use it can really reduce your stress levels.
In this post I speak from the point of view of ‘normal’ toilet visits being unduly delayed through circumstances. If you think you need to go to the loo too often or are losing bladder control see your GP. When I ran this by my friend she thought I should add this bit, she is a nurse, ever the professional.
Hope this helped,
Jo
