the guy who claims he loves me is texting another girl

[candicemarie88]

I have been seeing my current boyfriend for over 3 years, however things have turned rather sour and I have fallen for his friend.

This friend was also a good friend of mine, and I have known him for around 3 years now. We first kissed 2 years ago, but it was a drunken thing and we decided to forget about it and not let it ruin our friendship/my relationship. Anyway, since summer 2010 he made his feelings very clear and one repeatedly told me he wished he had a girlfriend like me, and that i deserve someone who takes good care of me etc.

I began to realise just after christmas that I had feelings for him and we started seeing each other. I am still with my boyfriend, however he seems to have neglected our relationship and doesn't seem very caring towards me anymore, which is the main reason me and his friend started having an affair.

It's got to the point where this guy says he loves me and I love him too.., we have even planned about how we will tell people that we are going to be together, because I have fallen for him so much and he has been so caring and loving towards me, I've not felt this happy in a long time.

Anyway, he stayed at mine last night and I couldn;t drop off, so while he was sleeping I played a game on his phone. Then a text came through from this girl he used to speak to. She has a boyfriend and she speaks to loads of different men, she basically used him for lifts and took advantage of him. Thing is my lover told me that he didn't care about her anymore and ignores here... but i read through some texts and he's still reffering to her as 'babe' and 'hun' and ending his texts with xxxx also she text him asking to meet him tomorrow and he said he wanted to.

I don't know whether to tell him that I know he has been texting her, because I dont want him thinking I dont trust him, but this is eating away at me, if he loves me why text her. She is very attractive, so i assume he must still fancy her and she is better lookign than me, but he has told me so many times that he thinks i'm beautiful and wouldn't change me for the world.

I acted funny with him this morning, but then just let it slip and he told me how much he loves me etc.

I'm so confused and don't know what to do... I don't want to end a 3 1/2 year relationship for him to find he runs off with another girl ..

[ria23]

You are still with your boyfriend too?
To be honest it is probably nothing, but the problem you have is that you have cheated on your boyfriend for a long time and you know what they say .... if you have gone behind someones back, it can easily be done to you, and you will always be paranoid about it. Sorry to ask, but if you love your lover, why not leave your boyfriend ages ago? why keep onto a relationship you dont want?
Also, look how easy it was for your lover to get with his friends girl, this bloke is going to have no problems going after someone else, he sounds like he wants his cake and eat it! You two are never going to have trust between you as your relationship was built on dishonesty. Sorry ..... hope everything works out for you.

[nikkif06]

I think you need to be ending it with your current boyfriend anyway as you dont seem to be happy with him for a long time and then just get on with seeing your 'lover' see how it goes...always plenty more fishies

[LisaHarris]

I know it's hard but sometimes you've got to go against your instincts. I think you deserve better and should leave him.

[lexivexx]

I don't think you should be thinking about having an affair, instead talk to him or decide for yourself which you want to do.

[tb1970]

If you're still with your bf why should you expect your lover to be monogamous?

From what you say you two have been emotionally attached for a while but you haven't committed to each other fully.

There seems to be something holding you both back from each other and if you can overcome that then you're in with a chance.

Ask yourself whether this guy's a player and is he ready to commit. Are you?

Good luck.