question- what would you make of this

[annieg]

I left my long term partner due to his behaviour, things just weren't working out at all. After several years apart we decided we would try and give it a go again, things are a bit up and down at moment . Out the blue, for no apparent reason he says to me the gossip at his work is he is having an affair with a woman at work, that everyone is talking about it and he just heard this was the gossip. Then again randomly he says to me that if a man shows up at my home accusing my partner of having an affair with this other mans wife,I've just to ignore it.

What do folk make of this? I cant help but think there may be some truth and something is going on, but I want to be fair and not let past stuff get in the way of us perhaps giving things another go. It seems to odd and random to just tell me something like this.

[Verve]

When the husband does show up... invite him in for a cup of tea. Make sure you do it when your partner is at home.

[tb1970]

If you were saying that everything in your relationship was fine and that you've never had any reason to doubt his fidelity I'd say that it's possible to likely that it's maybe just pernicious workplace gossip.
Some workplaces are worse than others for it - what sort of environment does he work it? What's the culture like? Some workplaces are like the loveboat and others have very strict and rigidly enforced policies against workplace relationships.
I'm not sure what's the case here but hopefully you do.
Has he been mentioning one person more than others?

As far as the other husband is concerned, I'm with a bit with Verve on this. If there's really no foundation then a quiet calm chat should be able to straighten everything out. Invite him in though? On balance probably best not to but maybe arrange something neutral and public? Difficult, but might take the wind from his sails a bit, especially if he seems psyched up.

The saying "There's no smoke without fire" is nonsense but you need to know if there's been any smoldering.

Good luck.

[annieg]

thanks for your replies. In this instance he doesn't have the best track record, this is a man who didnt understand why i was upset he couldnt bring the hot barmaid from the strip bar home to meet me , he said " i think you 2 could be friends" shortly after i left him, within 2 months he was living with another woman.
he works in an engineering place, so predominantly male, other that some female admin staff. My gut tells me this is odd, we have only just started to try again, i reckon something is up and he may be trying to pre empt me finding out, telling me before i hear about it.
my pals reckon i'm mad for even considering going back to him, that's why i though i'd ask here, get some impartial, objective thoughts on the matter

[none of the above]

He sounds a bit random to me.

I also work in a similar environment and generally if the chaps are gossiping about something like that then it's probably happening from what I've seen over the years.

[splinkygb]

Annie: I think he has strayed already and was preparing for when u found out!

[patricbt25]

I think this should not take for granted, but you can stay indifferent to all this. So if I was on your place I would explore. As the nation says where there is smoke, there is fire. I know you want to try again, but to continue along must not remain any doubt.