When I was growing up, I never understood the attitude, the cattiness, the "you know what you did" stuff, etc. I remember as a child, I was the girl who was able to get along with the boys, would laugh at their jokes, etc. whereas the other girls would sit there, roll their eyes, and pretend to be mature. As I continued to get older into my teen years, I was still the girl who was able to joke around with guys, talk with them, etc. while the other girls would accuse me of having these mysterious crushes on them or that I was "taking away" their crush, ask me how and why I can talk to them, etc. I never understood it. I don't like drama and currently, go out of my way to even avoid family drama, and especially drama at work.
Once I got to college, I noticed that women continued to be extremely cliquey. Where I live, people are VERY cliquey, and it's actually really ridiculous. I've been in women-only groups for church, gone to meet-ups, activities, etc. and it's almost the same thing. Are women just so afraid to let someone new into their "groups"?
Over the years I've lost friendships with women. When I did something wrong, I would own up to it right away, and apologize right away, and offer to make amends. I am very clear-cut in the way I approach people-- I don't believe in putting up a fake face or beating around the bush. One "friend" told me that just wasn't her "style" to be forward like that about what I did wrong, another friend told me I was off-putting, and another friend told me I was too demanding
In real life, I am a rather reserved person. I don't like to make trouble, get involved in it, but when I have been a friend I am empathetic, a good listener (people have told me this since I was a kid), and very loyal. I also am rather logical and structured, and I know just being that last one tends to send people flying
I'm also a modest person and a traditional person. I was raised with immigrant parents who are, sometimes a little wacky and anal, but as I have gotten older I can see the wisdom in some of the things they instilled in me. This tends to come out through my beliefs, my actions, worldviews, etc. For instance, just the other day I was talking to a coworker and she flat out told me "you're too logical and follow the policies too much. You should stop." That's actually not the first time another female has told me something along those lines!
I'll also be honest here-- I have been to therapy A LOT for various issues and according the therapists, there is nothing "wrong" with me, in the sense that I don't understand social cues or just don't get people. My personality is my personality, and that's just the way it is. However-- it was noted that with my particular personality, there are certain things that will make befriending women more difficult than normal. I have also noticed that it's easier for me to befriend and get along with men; unfortunately I am married so I need to have appropriate boundaries in place.
What do you all think? Is my experience unique?
